


Five Years

by hihiletmego



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Original Character(s), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2020-07-27 17:44:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 106,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hihiletmego/pseuds/hihiletmego
Summary: What if, Thanos originally thought the soul stone was on Earth? But despite everything, he still manages to take everything away from the Avengers, and the Princess that finds herself entangled in their world. This is the story of how they move on in the five years post snap leading up to the final battle.





	1. o n e

**Author's Note:**

> The soul stone will be his, and together with the five other stones, he will be invincible – every single living creature will thank him.
> 
> And he will wipe out half the universe to end all suffering. 
> 
> Just like a true god. 

What is it like to be a god?

Thor is one. The god of thunder. But there are so many – norse gods were everywhere, and even his infamous brother Loki was one. 

Even before all the alien nonsense, Midgard had their own beliefs and religions. Christians look up to only one God – with a capital G. Buddhists follow the life and teachings of Buddha. They all have the power to relieve sufferings, end pain whilst teaching their people to be kind. So many religions, but they all have one thing in common: a leader. 

Thanos thought of himself as a god. With the two stones in his command, he will be closer to the full set of six. Thor and his foolish brother Loki, who he had just killed with his own hands, strangling him to death and leaving the god of thunder alone. He _will_ find the other stones. The time stone on earth will be his, and reality was easily his to take now that he had two in his disposal. No other being was as strong as him, to have come this far to hold two infinity stones at once. 

He just needed the last one. The soul stone was something he sent his foolish daughter Gamora to find, and he knew she wasn’t as incompetent as she tried to be before she crossed him and left. His guess was that it was on Earth, and he will do whatever it takes to retrieve it.

Three possible locations of a rare element Earth claimed they could not replicate, and speculated to be alien in nature. If the soul stone wasn’t there, he will kill the pesky humans for wasting his time. 

“You are sure that they have the soul stone?” Thanos asks, looking right at Ebony Maw. He was tasked to bring him both the time and soul stone on Earth, and he would accept nothing but success. 

“I am certain, my lord.” The creature bowed. “Gamora uncovered that before she... became a traitor.”

Thanos wasn’t sure if he could trust his daughter. Gamora was never like Nebula, so eager and willing to please him, and for that, no matter how successful she was, he will always be wary. But the soul stone was her mission, and if she lied, he will come for her, even if she was once his favourite. 

“Then bring me the mind stone from that bot, and the time stone from the wizard. Find the soul stone and do _not_ fail.” 

“Yes, my lord.”

The soul stone will be his, and together with the five other stones, he will be invincible – every single living creature will thank him.

And he will wipe out half the universe to end all suffering. 

Just like a true _god_. 

* * *

Hours after, a Princess was preparing to attend a charity gala hosted by the United Nations. Her parents, the esteemed King and Queen of a small Nation called Caydia, had been part of the organizing committee, and this was their hard work put in for months. 

She was young, beautiful and hopelessly unaware of what was to come.

“Your highness, your parents will be seated before your performance.”

Princess Isabella nods, waiting patiently as the stylists fix her dress. Tonight would be special, and it’s been planned for months. Nothing can derail this, not even the Alien invasion that’s been trending all over the Internet. Whatever nonsense that was happening in New York just had to wait. She’s seen the news – a giant ring spaceship, and how Tony Stark was missing.

The point of the Accords was so that the Avengers could take care of whatever threats there were, but the UN’s been delaying the outcome of it ever since Captain America ran rouge with a bunch of them. Her parents were special members of the established UN committee, and no one could figure out a way to entirely abolish it, not even after finding out that the psychiatrist for James Barnes was a fluke. The whole Accords saga was just a blow up in the UN’s faces, and they did not like being seen as incompetent. And so, half the Avengers were still wanted and on the run.

Not that Isabella blamed them. These months of following her mother in dealing with diplomats all over the UN have been traumatizing. If she wasn’t the Princess, next in line for the throne of the small, practically non-existent Asian country called Caydia off the coast of Korea and Japan, she wouldn’t be doing this. 

The annual UN charity gala – this year dedicated to the children and orphans of Syria. Isabella would be singing something, just because as Princess, she learnt quickly to also be the entertainer. Not like they asked the other diplomats, did they? Sometimes, she wished it was simpler. She would have loved to see Lady Gaga perform, and she’s sure the ambassadors did too. Nobody wanted to see some small teen Princess sing with mediocre vocals. But the UN wanted to showcase their established panel of members, and she’s to wear a crown on her head to show the world that they wanted peace while maintaining a level of respect to all nations. 

“Get her the tiara. Make sure it stays on.” 

Someone else pricks her scalp with another bobby pin, and she schools her features into a neutral face to hide the pain. A princess doesn’t show emotions, and everything must go to plan. The weight of the crown makes her head fall, but someone’s soft hand tips her head up, steadying her. 

“You look beautiful, Izzy.” The Queen smiles, her mother’s hand tilting her chin, inspecting every inch of her flawless makeup.

“Mama.” Isabella says, half exasperated. “You’re supposed to be seated.”

“I know, but I had to see my own daughter.” The queen waves off the stylists, eyeing the crazy number of pins in her hair. As if reading her thoughts on how excessive and ridiculous the tiara was on her head, her mother frowns. “Big smiles, Izzy. This crown represents our country’s relations with the world, so wear it with pride.”

Isabella’s heard this story millions of times. After World War II, Caydia uncovered three of these strange, glowing orange stones, dug up by local fishermen. They were kept in a chest, carved with a language no one on Earth spoke, and it was given to the UN for safe keeping after the war. But the stones held significance – peace and safety after the wars. Two of the stones were given to Germany and Japan respectively, while the last one stayed in America. 

It’s not until after the whole Loki fiasco was it thrust back into the spotlight. Aliens existed, and SHIELD decided that the language wasn’t just anything, it was something out of this world. Apparently, Thor said they had the aura of something much more powerful, and all the scientists wanted to look into it, until the UN decided that they couldn’t have another Loki situation, and locked it up in museums for the heritage. It was a symbol of peace, they said. And it will stay that way without the meddling of scientists.

To Izzy, it just sounded like bullshit. They were alien stones, and they didn’t shine like jewels. The only reason why she even knew about it was because they originated from her home and her ancestors worked their way to save them. 

Today, she will wear it representing Caydia, a symbol of trust after decades of work with the UN. Her parent’s work in ensuring safety for their people. It was a clear-cut message from the UN to other nations: cooperate, and we can have peace together. After all, it was a charity gala. She was supposed to be bringing in the smiles and the donations – all good press for the UN.

“I know, mama.” Isabella smiles; it’s the least she can do. She’s been following her parents convention after convention, traveling the world for diplomatic events since she was ten. Today is her time to show, that at sixteen, she will one day ascend the throne and continue building relations, and representing both the UN and Caydia.

“Your majesty, you have to be seated soon.” An apologetic floor manager addresses them both, and her mother nods.

“Izzy, darling – break a leg.” The queen gives her daughter one last look, leaning in to kiss her forehead softly, careful not to smudge her lipstick or knock the crown. 

“See you, mama.” Isabella grins, watching her mother go. She keeps her eye on the hallway, until her mother’s back has disappeared with multiple guards and she’s only staring at the mess of the backstage crew rushing to get everything organized. She takes a deep breath – she can do this, and then she’ll be by her parents’ side. 

Everything will go according to plan.

It has to.

* * *

Meanwhile, the runaway Avengers were brainstorming in the Quinjet. Something big was about to happen, and they had to be a step ahead.

“They were coming for the stone, which means they will be looking for the rest.”

Natasha casts a worried look over to Steve patching up Wanda’s wounds. The younger girl tried to keep a brave face through the pain, still shaking from their near miss. The aliens were strong, much stronger than Ultron or anything they’ve seen. 

If Steve and Natasha hadn’t come in time... Vision and her would be dead.

“Bruce said they’ve already got two, possibly three if Tony and Dr Stephen Strange doesn’t stop him. Some guy called Thanos...” Steve trails off, unsure. Tony Stark was in space, possibly dead. The last he saw him, they were fighting like children. 

“How many stones?” Sam asks.

“Six.” Vision replies.

So he’s halfway there. Whoever he was, he sounded like a psychopath. 

“Bruce said that he doesn’t know where the last one is. Something called a soul stone. Says he threatened Thor to reveal its location on Earth, or he’ll destroy all three of them. But we don’t know of it either, so it must be something he’s already been searching for recently.” Steve starts to think, calling in Rhodey. 

“Steve, I don’t have visual on Tony if that’s wha-”

“No, we need some info.” Steve interrupts the moment Rhodey’s form shows up on the screen. “Any strange major attacks worldwide recently? Artifacts missing, places destroyed?”

“There’s no time for trivial museum robberies, Cap.” Rhodey raises one brow. “But yes, one in Germany, and one in Japan. Nothing stolen yet, but almost everyone in the building is dead. The weird part? They didn’t happen at night – but in broad daylight, when people were working. Happened hours apart, it can’t be the same people considering how far apart both countries are.”

Something clicks in Natasha’s mind. She’s a spy above all, and she’s been trained for this. There’s no way normal robbers would attack in the day, and leave a trial of bodies behind with no survivors. “They’re looking for something desperately. Rhodey, any similarities between the two locations?”

“Well...” Rhodey types in a few commands, searching. “Both contained a rare orange gem, technically under UN protection, sited as alien of some unknown element. They call all three of them the Caydian miracle, because it was found in Caydia just after the Second World War, and helped play a part in forming a treaty with all the nations, in what we now call the UN.”

“That’s the stone.” Steve remembers Bruce’s frantic words, how Thanos was looking for three of them on Earth. “Rhodey, where’s the last one kept?”

More typing, and Sam’s already keying in the coordinates the moment Rhodey gives them the answer. “New York, and the UN’s having a charity gala today. It’s rumoured to make an appearance – the Caydian Princess is expected to wear it.”

“Who’s the Princess?” Wanda asks, intrigued.

“Princess Isabella Genevieve Kim-Lim. Only heir to the throne of Caydia.” Sam replies, only just having the search up the information. He displays press photos of the Princess on the Quinjet’s wide screen. “Says here that she’s sixteen, and even Vogue calls her the millennial of the century.”

“Wow.” Wanda breathes, reading the details. “She’s a kid.”

“She’s about to wear what Thanos thinks is the Soul Stone.” Steve points out, his frown deepening. “Then we need to stop him. If it’s one of the stones, Thanos will get another one. And even if it isn’t, hundred will still die.” Steve nods as the Quinjet gains speed. 

They’ll have to beat him to it if they want to come out alive. 

* * *

The room is filled with people, and Isabella starts to get slightly sick.

She’s been a Princess all her life, which means she’s also been training how to be one the moment she could walk and talk. The singing lessons began professionally just after thirteen, when she was in Britain and they were invited to a special screening of Matilda with one of the Princes. While her parents – the King and Queen – worked, she was home-schooled, _princess-schooled_, as they called it. 

But the nerves are a constant. So now, with hundreds of special guests from around the globe waiting, and a huge crown on her head, she needs to sing. A tribute to the children of Syria. 

_I’ve got this._

“Please welcome Princess Isabella Genevieve Kim-Lim of Caydia, with our opening song for the UN’s special project on children of Syria!” 

Too late to think of anything else now, as she’s being ushered to the main stage, the opening notes of Angels Among Us, a song she painstakingly memorised, being played. When they announce your full name, it’s official business. She’s doing this for her country, the UN, and for her parents.

She takes deep breath, and falters as something crashes through the main doors. And the first note out of her mouth aren’t lyrics, but a scream, when something explodes at the back of the hall, and just like that, everything turns to chaos. 

Isabella’s first thought is her mother. After all, she’s the closest to her, when her father handled all the serious matters. But there’s nowhere to search, because hands are grabbing her and pulling her to safety. Bodyguards, harshly dragging her backstage from where she came from. Maybe it’s a terrorist attack. That’s what you get when the world’s leaders are in attendance, right? Never mind that this event has the tightest security in the world.

But her eyes don’t play tricks on her, and she knows that. She didn’t scream because of the explosions; she’s had her own share of them once in Egypt, after a foiled attempt to disrupt the convention. There’s something not human fighting the diplomats and guests, like... aliens. Even after the discussion about Loki and what was out of Earth, she didn’t quite believe in seeing them – not on a night like this.

They are out of the building, having navigated through the back hallways, and almost to the waiting car. When the guard holding on to her right arm is literally _pulverized_ by something and crumbles to the ground, Isabella panics. It’s happening, she’s going to die at sixteen. Something strikes her in the chest, and she lands a few feet back, her beige dress looking blacker by the minute, but ultimately cushioning her fall. It’s a creature, alright. It has one arm, the other a stump that’s horrifying, and it towers over her. And it’s grabbing her tiara. The pins digging into her scalp pull at her roots, and she’s going to bleed if he continues yanking her hair out with the crown. 

She’s been through enough self defense classes to know what to do, but this was an Alien, or some creature that could definitely overpower a mere human. Still, this was not how she would be going down. She gives it a kick to its chest, and it stumbles back in slight shock while she runs in the opposite direction. 

So much for the element of surprise though, because of course the alien has backup, and she’s surrounded in a matter of seconds. She’s really going to die, and it will be because of that stupid crown. The Caydian stones really were alien, and now the leader of the aliens was taking it back? Why hadn’t the UN just done research on it instead of locking it up for museums? Isabella considers taking the crown and throwing it aside – that’s if she can manage to remove all the pins fastening the damned object on her head. But what did they need it so desperately for? These weren’t terrorists. They weren’t even human. 

Something tells her it’s not money they are after. 

She’s interrupted by something flying down, decapitating those creatures threatening to kill her in the most grotesque way possible. No time to scream, though – she’s feeling more shocked at the fact that she recognizes her saviour. Of course she would, she was fourteen when the Accords happened, and even before that, the Avengers were known everywhere. 

She’s pretty sure that’s Falcon, ex Avenger and now convict who just saved her life – if his face doesn’t give it away, his wings do. 

“Sam, clear the place, get the people to safety. Romanoff and I will stop them.” 

Isabella spins around just as Sam – _Falcon_ – flies off, and she’s face to face with Captain America. Or at least she thinks it’s Captain America, if he had a beard and longer, darker hair. But the suit, torn and dull, is unmistakably the Captain’s. 

Oh God, some aliens want her crown, and convict Captain America is saving her life. 

“Princess, we need to move.” The blonde woman behind him urges, and she wants to argue back, or at least ask where, but they are running before she can. Captain America is attacking all the aliens behind, and the woman has some kind of staff to decapitate all those in front. She’s almost sure it’s the Black Widow – Natasha Romanoff – but the last she saw her was at the Accords signing, and her hair was long and red. 

“I can give them the crown. Please, we need to find my parents!” Isabella cries, her hands already reaching up to pull the bobby pins out of her hair. 

“Sam’s got it.” The blonde Black Widow insists, stopping her all whilst cutting off another creature. “We need to get the ston-”

“I am Cull Obsidian, and I serve Lord Thanos. Give me the stone.” 

The woman – Nat? – is interrupted by the same tall alien who tried to pull Isabella’s hair out of her scalp, literally. He cackles, knocking the woman to the side, a move that Captain America takes offense to as he runs over, trying to shield Isabella, but it’s too late. 

“I don’t ask for permission.” The Giant hisses. Even with one hand, he’s quicker and stronger. The stone is ripped out of Isabella’s tiara before she can react, and she’s thrown to the side, gasping as she lands with a thud. He grips the gem in his hand, weighing it slightly, but the gem doesn’t glow or shine in the light. 

“This isn’t the stone. It’s a worthless Asgardian gem.” Ugly sneers, throwing the artefact onto the ground. He curses, and glares at them. “Lord Thanos will not be pleased. Gamora lied to him again.”

Captain America’s running to her now, and she accepts his hand, even when she’s trembling. What stone? Who the hell was Thanos? Or Gamora? And what did this guy want?

“What stone? What are you looking for?” The captain spits out, handling Isabella to the blonde woman, who grasps her tightly in support. 

The giant chuckles. “When Lord Thanos gains all the six infinity stones, you will have your answer. The universe will bow down to him in gratitude!”

Captain America thrusts something at the giant – it’s some sort of shield, but it’s not the red, white and blue monstrosity the world was so used to seeing. The giant must have expected it, because it feigns to the side, but is hit in surprise by a red beam, and he howls in pain.

“You might as well kill me.” Cull Obsidian says, gasping slightly. “The Iron Man and his team almost did, but I summoned a ship out of that cursed cold land. Still, I have failed Lord Thanos, and I’m as good as dead.”

“Your team hurt Vision.” The woman with the red beam steps up to him, and she looks pissed. Her eyes are glowing red, and Isabella knows her. She’s Wanda Maximoff, and this is a team of ex Avengers. “Killing you will be easy.”

“Yes, it will.” Ugly pretty much acknowledges his fate. Then he sneers, cackling darkly. “But I won’t take any survivors here.”

They always say things go in slow motion, but that’s a lie. Isabella doesn’t know what’s happening, at first. But Steve’s yelling into his earpiece, calling for Sam to get out of the building. The giant, ugly spaceship Cull Obsidian must have come from crashes into the main hall, and that’s when the horror begins. The entire building behind them explodes, like a chain reaction, and Isabella stares in horror as Wanda Maximoff tears through the giant with a red beam, and he collapses, dead. Then the witch quickly shields them all, enclosing them in a giant red bubble with her power, deflecting the flying flames of debris all around them. 

But she feels almost selfish seeing this sight. The UN generals, diplomats, international leaders... all gone. But it’s not the only thing that’s shattering her heart. She knows her parents are in there somewhere. This was also their gala in some way, with all the planning and effort being in the committee, showing the world they were more than just royals. They wouldn’t leave until everyone was out, and she knew that. 

There’s fire in her eyes, and it matches the flames in front of her, skyrocketing. But the building’s blurry in her eyes from the tears, and she thinks of her mother’s last words. 

_Wear it with pride._

She did, and the crown turns out to be cursed. The stone, their family’s heirloom and her country’s heritage, turning out to be something some crazy Alien called Thanos wants to take over the world. He said it was fake, but if they never found the stones... if she wasn’t wearing them for the UN gala, if she never said yes to the honour of performing, or representing Caynia... 

She did all that, and now everyone she loves is dead inside that building. 

“No! Get me out!” She screams, running desperately into the shield, but Wanda doesn’t yield, and Natasha pulls her back. There’s a lone figure outside the shield, and he lands with grace, his head hung low – Sam Wilson, the Falcon – and she knows. She just _knows_. 

Wanda waits a beat before she releases her hold on the red glowing shield, Natasha’s hands still firmly holding Isabella back. But she’s yelling, trying to tear her way out of the Black Widow’s death grip. She needs to get back in. Somehow, she will find her parents. Everything will be fine. There was _no_ way it will end like this. 

“Did you see them? My mother was in there, I need to–”

“I’m sorry...” Sam says, bowing slightly and interrupting her gently. “All the exits were blocked. Every one of his army and the assembly are trapped inside... I don’t know....”

But Isabella does. 

They are dead. The building is left in nothing but flames, she sees it right in front of her like a nightmare except it’s real. It’s so _real_, with the heat and her blurry vision from the tears that have already sprung. What happens next is something she has never done before. It’s not what a Princess does, to shed a tear or scream in public. But she’s in the arms of a runaway Avenger, and her parents are dead, blown to bits right in front of her. 

When she roars in pain, sobbing at the sight of the only family in her life gone in a flash, she lets the Black Widow cradle her, gently pulling her away from the heat and the flames.

Because she knows she will never see her parents again.

Steve watches, the burning mess in front of him, and a Princess in a heap of tears screaming in Natasha’s arms. He locks eyes with Nat, who’s feeling as helpless as he is. They try to save everyone, but sometimes it’s not enough, and this was one of those instances.

He turns to give her a little privacy, glancing over at Wanda. “You were supposed to stay with Vision.”

“If I did, he would have killed you too.” Wanda watches the flames absentmindedly, trying to block out the girl’s sobs. She knew this feeling too well, but it only makes her blood burn with rage. She _will_ kill Thanos, whoever he was.

Steve lets it slide, even though the words cut deep in all of them lucky enough to be standing around the flames. 

They don’t have time to sit around and wait, though. He knows from the sirens that the police and firefighters were coming, even if it was too late. They need to move, or be caught up in an international situation again, and they couldn’t afford to do that.

“Nat.” He whispers, and she nods.

“Your highness, we need to leave.” Natasha says, almost apologetically. “The police will be here, and we can’t get caught up with the law. You’ll need to stay here–”

“No.” The Princess whispers, halting her. She still holds her own in poise, even if her voice is raw with emotion and pain, and all of them pretend not to notice. “Take me with you.”

“We can’t.” Wanda says gently. She knew how it was like to lose her family in something like this, but she could never compare her pain with this destruction. So many people gone, and so many important ones, too. There were ambassadors, ministers, and celebrities – being at a scene like this would cost them greatly, even if they didn’t start it. “We’re international fugitives. We can’t get caught with a Princess.”

“I don’t care about the Accords. And after what we’ve seen, none of you should. The UN takes too long, always deliberating, never acting. And I want him _dead_.” Isabella’s voice cracks, but it’s the unmistakable anger in her eyes that make them think twice about leaving her behind.

They all know who he is. _Thanos_. The princess of Caydia, a small country but reputable enough to make waves in the UN, wanting a powerful villain dead. They’ve all seen what one of his minions could do without backup and a simple ship, so what are the odds they could defeat Thanos? It’s easier said than done.

“Ok, we’ll bring her back with us.” Natasha says finally. She still has her arms around the princess, but the hardened look in her eyes tells Steve that he shouldn’t argue. So he doesn’t, and nods despite the look of doubt from Wanda and Sam. 

“Where to, Cap?” Sam asks anxiously. He wasn’t going to go down because the local police force found the runaway Avengers at the scene. 

Steve thinks about what they’ll need to do next. Regroup. If Thanos comes for Vision again, they need to be ready. And for that, they’ll need an army of fighters, starting with all the Avengers.

“Home.” He says, and he trusts that the rest of them know where he’s insinuating.

* * *

“I get that we’re saying fuck you to the Accords. But you’re bringing a Princess back to the Avengers’ headquarters. Not just any princess – she’s practically the UN’s model daughter.”

Isabella flinches, hating how the colonel spoke of her. She’s not a stranger to any of them, having seen the breakdown of the Accords years ago when she was learning by her mother’s side. James Rhodes was involved in an unfortunate fall, but Tony Stark had all the medical advancements needed to get him walking again, with aid and technology of course. 

Her tears, still eminent on her cheeks, are wiped away periodically. The Black Widow – Natasha, as she introduced – had wrapped a blanket around her exposed shoulders, and her gown was torn beyond recognition. They were all going back, and discussing about the stones, planning their next move, but Isabella couldn’t think straight without remembering the flames. 

She feels like she just died. And maybe she did, right where her parents were.

“Rhodey, we can’t let the UN stop us anymore. This is a bigger threat.” Steve points out, giving Isabella an apologetic look that she tries not to catch. 

“I have General Ross on the line. He didn’t attend the Gala, because of the Tony situation. Now he wants answers.” Rhodey sighs. Tony Stark had somehow disappeared with the giant ring spaceship, and the UN were pressing Ross for answers since he was in charge of the Avengers. “Head inside when you’re here, I’ll entertain him for now.”

They end the call, and the ship is silent. Isabella stares at her bare feet, having ditched the heels from before during the run. Maybe she should have stayed behind, made up a story for the UN instead of following the Avengers. But she needed to know. Her parents weren’t the only ones, and there were a good few hundreds in that hall. It wasn’t the Met Gala, but it was still reputable enough to attract enough attention.

“How many dead?” She asks quietly.

“Your highness...” Natasha starts, hesitant. 

“Izzy.” Isabella corrects, figuring that if she’s to trust anyone, it would be the people who saved her life. “How many?”

“Two hundred. It’s an estimate, but it’s going to increase.” Steve answers grimly. 

Isabella trusts herself not to sob, turning away to face the other side of the ship. It was almost her. Her parents were as good as gone, and that meant that she couldn’t just be a Princess. She had to be a Queen. But they would have a hearing, and it could take months – she’s not ready to lead yet. And there might not be a planet Earth left at the end for that to happen. 

Natasha passes her a napkin, and she tries not to think about how the Black Widow is being so sympathetic and caring to her. Even Izzy’s heard stories about the infamous Natasha Romanoff. 

“We’ll need to go to Wakanda to fight, if it comes down to it.” The spy says gently, as the Quinjet got ready to land. “Isabella, I’m sorry you had to get caught up in this.”

She doesn’t respond. She’s sorry herself, and the stone feels heavy in her right hand, firmly clasped since the start. Maybe she’s stupid, but she picked it up just as they were fleeing the scene. But she’s half curious about Wakanda, and the Avenger’s compound.

Once the jet has landed, they walk out, and it’s almost like the Avengers had never left, knowing their way in. Isabella spots Rhodey even before she hears him, and behind him is an awkward, jumpy man – Bruce Banner. She’s seen enough textbooks and UN assemblies to know how the scientist looked like. Last she heard, he wouldn’t be signing the Accords because he was apparently missing after Sokovia. 

Rhodey’s still speaking to General Ross, and she notes that they are arguing. It’s a hologram call, probably Stark technology, and not only is Rhodey alerted of their presence, but Ross is too. The General doesn’t miss Isabella’s company as the runaway Avengers walk in.

“Captain Rogers. You’ve got a lot of nerve coming back – with the Princess of Caydia. Did you think we would have missed her?” The general spots them through the call, his hologram form showing his anger.

“She’s decided to come with us.” Steve says firmly, unwavering.

“And am I to assume that you didn’t cause this alien attack? Is this a battle against the Accords? Because I will have you arrested, so help me.”

“Aliens? It’s more than that. We don’t want to fight you; we’re here because of the bigger threat. Earth just lost its best defender, you can’t afford to chase us away.” Steve answers firmly, even if he seemed ready to deck the guy. 

Ross glares at Steve. “The only threat is you. Whatever Stark and his Avengers have, they will take care of it. Colonel, arrest them.”

Rhodey opens his mouth to retort, but Isabella’s a step ahead. “General, with all due respect, I don’t think you have the nerve yourself to do that. I’ve seen who attacked us up close – you can’t rely on Tony Stark to do everything for you. The accords have been proven ineffective for years, even after the capture of Zemo. This calls for a greater team. Earth will be destroyed if you let your Accords get in the way.”

“Your highness,” Ross says in mock sincerity, but Izzy keeps her cool, unflinching. “I’m sorry for your loss, but you must know that your parents are missing, presumed dead. You have to come back to the UN and we will talk about this from there, that is an order. Rhodey, arrest them and bring the princess back.”

“I don’t receive any orders from you.” Izzy’s been taught to be humble all her life, but she’s had enough of General Ross and the claws of the UN, always owning Caydia. Their gala had cost her the only family in her life tonight. They needed protection, and they had it, but they weren’t going to be push overs. “My parents are gone, but I am still Princess of Caydia. And I outrank a mere US Secretary of State, even in the UN. The Avengers will continue, and they will defend us, otherwise there will be nothing left.”

Ross stares at her in disbelief, and Izzy feels the tension in the room, but she continues. “And that means I can order _you_ around instead. Tell the UN to leave the Avengers and Wakanda alone. You’ve got a headache to clear, with so many important people dead. So _do_ it.”

“Your highness.” Ross says, truly sincere now that she’s so clearly belittled his rank. “Your parents–”

“Would have wanted this.” Izzy forced herself to stand tall, walking closer towards his hologram. She will not be guilt tripped today, not so soon. There’s still anger in her over how he so easily tried to get to her. “You started the Accords, so you take care of it. Understood?”

There’s no reply, so she turns to Rhodey, signalling for him to end the call. “Dismiss him.” 

He does, and there’s a stunned silence. Isabella’s aware of the tension, and it takes a while before the conversation settles in when she realises what she just did, and what she might have started. “Oh God, was that too harsh? I... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...”

Natasha breaks the silence, laughing slightly. “Princess, you were perfect.”

“Your highness.” Rhodey says, smiling, his earlier doubts about the situation lifted. “You definitely outrank him. And everyone else here, I suppose.”

Finally, Wanda hobbles from the back with Sam, both of them supporting Vision. “What can we do now?”

Bruce runs ahead, looking at the droid’s injuries. “It’s going to take a lot of tech to repair this.”

“No.” Vision says, a little softly. “We must destroy the stone.”

“We don’t trade lives, Vision.” Steve stops him, frowning slightly.

“You went into the ice decades ago, I don’t think you’re in the position to say that, Captain.” Vision shakes his head, looking at Wanda, who looks back in disbelief and fear. “Wanda, think about it. He will come back for the stone, and this time, he might succeed. We need to destroy it, and with your powers only you can do it.”

“You’ll die with it.” The witch whispers, shaking her head. “I can’t do that to you, please Viz–”

“Wanda.” Natasha says, softly. “We’ll go to Wakanda and discuss further.”

“There’s no discussion. He doesn’t have the soul stone, and he just killed hundreds of people trying to find it. If he doesn’t get to me, he’ll kill all of you too.” Vision looks at the team, and none of them are able to look back. “We will go to Wakanda, but from there you know we must do this.”

“We will go to Wakanda.” Steve echoes firmly, in a tone that meant they shouldn’t argue back. “Then we will decide. Do not think of this as a sacrifice yet, Vision.”

The team exchange looks, while Wanda latches herself by Vision’s side again. They’ve developed this relationship for so long while on the run, it didn’t seem fair to be judging them. Still, everyone gathers themselves to get ready.

“Isabella.” Natasha says, pulling the Princess behind as the rest start to head out, getting their gear. “You can stay here, and Ross will come for you. Take you back where you can be safe.”

“Natasha.” Isabella mirrors her tone, the Avenger’s name so foreign on her tongue. She sighs softly, trying to ignore the fact that the Black Widow was staring at her so intently. She’s already lost her parents, ran with the fugitive Avengers, and ordered around the Secretary of State; she couldn’t just sit and wait here. The Black Widow meant well, and she knew Natasha was looking out for her, even if they had just met face to face. “I won’t go back, not to Ross, and not to the UN. Please, I need to do something. I can’t stay around and wait.”

Something clicks in Natasha, and she nods. She understood the Princess’s determination to do something – it’s what she would have done herself. “Stay close, if things go south, I need you to keep safe.”

It’s the concern Natasha’s giving her that makes Isabella feel a tiny better, despite the night’s events. She has nothing else to lose, anyway. “I will.”

Natasha smiles, then takes one long look at her tattered gown, and frowns. “Come on. Let’s get you into some decent clothes before we leave.”

* * *

Wakanda is everything Isabella hadn’t expected to be. They arrive the next day, just a little over six in the morning, and the sun’s rising in the sky to orange and pink hues. 

She had slept a little, under Natasha’s insistence. The Quinjet is not the most comfortable place to sleep, but she must have been so exhausted, because all she needed was a blanket and embarrassingly, she woke up leaning on Steve’s shoulder. He hadn’t minded, but she was still slightly awkward all the same. These were Avengers, and she’s hardly star struck, but it’s moments like this when she’s feeling nervous around all these superheroes.

They travel in, the scenery changing from vast African landscapes to tall, modern and futuristic buildings within a second, and it’s as surprising as it sounds. Isabella’s met King T’Challa before, back when he was still the Prince and his father was the King. She had never met anyone else in their family before, and she had a feeling Wakanda wanted it that way with the UN.

When they track out, Isabella sticking close to Natasha and Steve, as Natasha had requested earlier on, the King notices her instantly. 

“Your majesty.” Izzy curtsies, remembering her manners.

“Princess Isabella.” T’Challa smiles, gesturing for her to rise. “I did not expect to see you here.”

“She was wearing the fake stone.” Steve explains, and T’Challa instantly understood, his eyes darkening. 

“I’m sorry for your loss.” The king says, and Izzy feels her eyes prick with tears, the night’s events yet to settle. “They were very kind.”

Then, turning away to give her some privacy, T’Challa’s eyes land on the rest of the Avengers. “Your friend is well rested and better.”

As if on cue, the Winter Soldier walks out, and Izzy nearly has a mini heart attack if not for Natasha’s calm hand on her shoulder. The blonde whispers to her, so that Steve and the soldier can have their reunion. “He goes by the name of Bucky, and T’challa’s sister has been helping him get better.”

“But Zemo....”

“I know.” They watch as Steve and Bucky hug, like old friends who haven’t seen each other in years. “It’s over now, and Bucky’s fine.”

“You must be tired from the journey.” T’Challa says, after introducing himself to Bruce Banner, who’s going a deep red after he accidentally bowed to the king under Rhodey’s teasing. 

“She bowed.” Bruce mumbles.

“She’s a Princess.” Rhodey replies, but T’challa’s smiling too. 

“Force of habit.” Isabella assures the scientist, but even she can’t hide a tiny smile. Call her old fashioned, but Izzy’s been bowing to royals for most of her life, even if she understood T’challa’s point of view about not needing the extra politeness. Still, she’s glad Bruce hasn’t bowed to _her_ yet.

“We will discuss inside.” Beside him, a Dora Milaje warrior ushers them in before Bruce could go any redder. She pauses, looking over to Natasha. “Nat.”

“Okoye.” Natasha nods. “This is Princess Isabella.”

“Izzy.” The mentioned girl corrects stubbornly.

“Your highness.” Okoye greets, like Natasha, ignoring Isabella’s correction. “Shuri will be delighted.”

Okoye’s right, as Izzy learns later – the Wakandan princess rushes in for a big hug, something so unconventional she’s partially taken aback. She has never met Shuri before, and it nerves her a little that the Princess wasn’t in the spotlight as much as she was. But whatever envy she has fades away the moment she sees how brilliant Shuri is with her tech.

“Why didn’t you just reprogram the synapses to work connectively?” Shuri asks after Bruce explains Vision’s anatomy. 

To his credit, the scientist does look a little delighted to see another intelligent mind in the room. “Because... we didn’t think of it?”

Shuri gives him a look between disbelief and horror, never mind the fact that none of them followed the scientific banter they were exchanging. “We need time to do this. I’ll have to start now.”

“We’ll hold them back. Wanda, you stay up here.” Steve orders. As if on cue, something loud sounds in the distance, and his comms come to live. 

“Guys? Something just exploded.” Sam says, and they hear something close by too.

“It’s the protective shield. They are coming.” Okoye rushes to the window, and sure enough, something’s falling from the sky. 

“Wanda, stay here.” Steve repeats, and the rest of them rush to prepare, even before he gives them the order. “Isabella...”

“She stays here.” Natasha shoots Izzy a meaningful look. _If things go south, I need you to keep safe. _Izzy nods - she wasn’t going to lose the Avengers, or Natasha Romanoff, after her parents. Not today, she wasn’t. 

“Be careful.” Izzy nods, looking at both Natasha and Steve. “I want him dead.”

“So do we.” Steve promises, and they are out, not before Natasha pats her back carefully. She appreciates the comfort, and she’s staring at the door where they leave, lost in her thoughts. 

Izzy hasn’t really thought about it, but this Thanos guy... he sent a mere distraction, and he killed so many important people in the UN. Her parents were dead, and there wasn’t time to grief. Thanos couldn’t be underestimated, and they had Vision with them, the mind stone still in his forehead. In the short time they’ve met, Natasha’s been the most helpful. If something happened... she couldn’t bear to think about it.

“Princess, you’ve used computers before, right?” Shuri asks, almost mockingly, shocking her out of her thoughts. Izzy decides she does like the princess after all, smirking slightly.

“Not Wakandan tech, but Apple holds its own with the Macbook, don’t you think?”

“Then get your ass here and help us.” Shuri smiles, still looking calm even when the world around them wasn’t. “We’ve got work to do.”

* * *

It’s kind of hard matching codes when there’s a war zone just outside the lab. 

Isabella grits her teeth, trying to ignore the flashes and explosions outside, even though it’s all happening so fast and every few moments, she swears the ground is shaking. Shuri, on the other hand, works faster, reprogramming something that Izzy would never be able to explain.

She’s supposed to be helping Shuri manage her workload, giving her sections of whatever synapses she’s reprogramming. She’s sure the princess doesn’t really need her manual labour, but it gives her something to do, and forces them both to stay away from the windows in horror. They try not to eavesdrop on Wanda and Vision’s conversation, one trying desperately not to say goodbye, and the other preparing for the worst. 

“You’re not going.” Wanda whispers, her hands shaking as she clasps them together.

“That’s not up to you.” Vision replies, keeping as still as possible for Shuri to work on the stone. 

Izzy doesn’t mean to, but it makes her tear up. She’s got to pull herself together – every help she can give Shuri would benefit them all. But she wishes so desperately she could have these last moments with her parents. Her father, even if he’s busier than her mother and hardly sees them. She misses them so much, and it pains her that she isn’t in New York to deal with the aftermath. Maybe she should have taken up Natasha’s offer to stay behind, but she couldn’t. Not when she felt almost _guilty_ to be alive.

Something crashes outside, and it’s so intense even Shuri looks up to the window. Wanda rushes forward, looking out the window panes, gasping. 

“Go.” Vision says calmly, neutralizing the panic in Wanda’s eyes. Then, his eyes widen, and the urgency in his tone increases. “Go, Wanda!”

She’s thrown to the ground before either princess can react, and Vision shoots out of the table, flying towards the windows with some horrifying creature and shattering them. There isn’t even time to scream, before Shuri’s throwing her some sort of weapon, already fitted with her own. “I hope you can shoot!”

Sure, Izzy’s been through some safety class before. What to do when you’re held hostage? Placate your hosts. How do you deal with threatening men? Hit him where it hurts most. But has anyone taught her how to kill aliens that will do whatever it takes to destroy the universe? Of course not. 

Still, she grabs the blasters Shuri’s thrown her, praying hard that it would work. It does, sending some of those aliens down. They are the same species as the one at the gala, and she knows they are merely distractions from the leader. Vision and Wanda are gone, and all that’s left was Shuri and her, both trying to save their own lives. It comes almost naturally now, her and Shuri going back to back to shoot any of those aliens coming towards them, the screens long ignored.

“Someone get to Vision!” The comms in the lab are still open, and they recognize the voice instantly. _Steve_. It’s not going to work. Izzy’s heart sinks, knowing that one way of another, win or lose – Vision was going to die if that stone was removed. 

“If this goes wrong, we need to stay here. We can’t run to the field.” Shuri murmurs, shooting another alien while she was at it. 

“Shuri...”

“You can feel it too, can’t you? We’re not going to survive this.” 

Izzy feels it, alright. The odds are against them, and who knows how many stones Thanos has already acquired? Their only hope was if he hadn’t been able to find the soul stone, the one he assumed she owned. 

The one her parents died for.

She feels the rage and sorrow all at once, and she wishes desperately that it’s all a dream. Neither one of them acknowledges the comms, Steve’s orders to find Vision, and the remaining Avengers who respond to it. All they can do is to shoot whatever’s coming at them, and delay the inevitable.

Then it stops, and the wave of invaders retreat. They kill every last one leaving out of the doors, but none enter. Shuri places her weapon down, confused. “What’s going on?”

“They just... they retreated.” Izzy gasps, running to the window, careful not to step on the glass shards or lean too far out. “Shuri, someone won.”

But who? It’s a mess outside at the battlefield. It was almost... half occupied. They could see the Wakandan soldiers, the Dora Mileje, some of those awful creatures... but they were disappearing. One moment they were there, the other gone. And it happened randomly around the field.

“Izzy.” Shuri says, frightened. Izzy turns around, and she can’t believe her eyes. Shuri’s fading away where her legs used to be – that’s been transformed to dust and ash. _Impossible_. The past 24 hours have been nothing but a nightmare, and now the Princess of Wakanda was fading away to dust in front of her.

“Izzy, they won.” Shuri whispers, watching her arms turn to dust. She doesn’t get another word out before she disappears, leaving nothing but ashes behind. Izzy stares right at the spot the Princess was literally a second ago. Deep in her heart, she knew it was true.

Thanos won. 

And they were all going to die.

* * *

Natasha runs up to Steve, her worst fears confirmed. They lost. For the first time in a decade, the Avengers _lost_.

“Do you feel anything?” Steve asks, a hand on her shoulder. They’ve just seen Bucky go, and subsequently, the rest of them. 

“No.” She shakes her head, staring at her arms. Nothing’s turning to dust, but maybe later. There’s no way she could have survived, with her luck and all. She didn’t deserve to be a survivor. Not when she’s done horrible, terrible things. But Thanos wasn’t here to judge who could live or not, he simply wanted half of them gone, one way or another.

“Who else?” Rhodey demands, as Thor slumps to the side, defeated. “Sam’s gone.”

“Wanda.” Natasha whispers, as Steve touches the droid in front of him. Vision was unmistakably dead, the mind stone ripped out of his body, and the witch was nowhere to be seen. 

“My king.” Okoye says, almost breathlessly. Natasha recognizes the same emotion in the warrior’s tone, the one of pain that they’ve been taught not to reveal. But Okoye’s been by T’challa’s side for years, and even that was enough to break a warrior. 

“Groot.” The talking raccoon glowers, and it’s such dire times that no one bothers to ask where the animal came from.

“Bucky...” Steve trails off, the dust all around him. There’s no body for anyone to bury. Half the universe, _gone_, just like that. A snap was all it took. “We need to regroup. Check on the rest.”

No one mentions the possibility that there might not be anyone left. 

The earth’s mightiest heroes, all that’s left of them. Half gone. Natasha thinks of Clint, back at the farm. What about him? Laura, the kids? She’ll have to call him, even if she knew she should be expecting the worse. As they trek back up to the lab, she’s expecting that too. No Shuri, no Isabella – just dust. She’s expecting it all to go wrong.

They find Isabella crouched on the floor, her eyes red and her cheeks stained with tears. Okoye runs ahead, unable to grasp the idea that both her King and the Princess were gone. Isabella holds up the fake stone in her hand – it hasn’t left her side since they ripped it out of the tiara, a reminder that fake or not, it has cost her everything she loves. 

“We lost, didn’t we.” Her voice breaks, as she looks up to Natasha, who’s staring at the lab in disbelief.

“Yes.” Steve admits, barely a whisper. They’ve lost. Some more than others, he thinks, watching Okoye carefully. Wakanda would have to rebuild, but it’s also another reminder of how the Avengers have failed. 

“What do we do now?” Rhodey asks quietly. No one quite knows. Thanos disappeared with the stones after the snap, and how do you track down someone who has all the power in the universe?

“We need to go back. Maybe Fury will have something for us.” Natasha suggests, and nobody dares to question the big ‘what if’. If Fury went down, they’ll be on their own. The UN wasn’t going to give them any help, even if they could. “Okoye?”

“I need to stay here. If the Queen... Wakanda needs me.” The warrior nods determinedly, unable to phase her words right, but they all get it. They are all tired, and there’s nothing that can be done but group the survivors. 

Natasha thinks of Clint again, as Steve tries to rally the group and where they could go next. She lets herself grasp the hope that he’s not alone. Fifty percent isn’t a great estimate. You either went, or you survived. But what if she’s wrong, and Clint’s gone, but his family isn’t? Will they know to call? She can’t bear to imagine little Nathaniel all alone, wailing for his parents and siblings that will never come. 

Izzy isn’t hearing half the conversation itself, not knowing what to do. She’s truly alone now. There’s no one to return to, and nothing to see when she gets back. She’ll have to face the fact that her parents were gone, and take up the crown for real. But she’s sixteen, and she’s still a minor. 

“Isabella.” Natasha’s by her side again. That woman truly never left her alone with her thoughts, and perhaps it was for the best. “When we go back, do you have anywhere to go?”

She knows Natasha means well. There’s so many places she can go next – Caydia, the UN... but it’s not where she wants to go to. She can’t see herself as Queen, or run back to the UN and start another round of assemblies and projects that would never truly benefit anyone but their governments (and subsequently, the egos of the world leaders). 

“I don’t know.” She admits, settling for her true feelings. 

“You can come back with us. We’re going to try to find Tony, and as Thor explained, the rest of the guardians of the galaxy?” Natasha shakes her head, trying to wrap her mind around things. Then, after a beat, as if she could read Izzy’s thoughts, she continues, “You don’t have to go back to the UN yet.”

“I don’t know if I’m throwing away my life.” Izzy thinks of her parents, under the stress of being ambassadors and juggling the UN duties. “I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be in Caydia, or somewhere else planning a funeral. I didn’t expect–”

She stops, catching her breath slightly as she forces herself to stop the tears, failing anyway as some escape. Everything was a mess. Her parents were gone, and the one responsible for that had won. She’s not a true Princess if she can’t even get her priorities in order. She’s been taught that all her life: always the people, never her first. 

So why doesn’t she want to do that? 

Natasha wraps an arm around her shoulders, and it’s the second hug she’s been given by the assassin in hours since meeting her. “It’s going to take a few days before we get things done. First, we all need some rest, and that means you too.”

“I’m sorry, I know we just met...”

“But who else meets under these circumstances?” Natasha gives her another tight squeeze. “We’ll go back to the Avengers compound first, then we can decide what’s next.”

“Okay.” Izzy whispers back, and the blonde leads her gently to the Quinjet, where no one speaks the entire journey.

* * *

Once at the compound, she was given a cup of tea at Natasha’s insistence, and she probably spiked it with a sleeping pill, because Izzy’s mostly slept through it all, despite her mind being high on a buzz with Natasha letting her sleep in her room. It’s been kept the same for the last few years, the assassin said, slightly surprised that it wasn’t removed after the civil war. 

The pill doesn’t stop the nightmares, though. Once, Natasha shakes her awake, before she goes back under again. From then on, she’s trapped in a vortex of dreams, with no stories, just fire and shouts from her parents. 

Izzy wakes up alone after that, realizing that Natasha has either gone somewhere else to sleep, or hasn’t attempted to rest ever since the snap.

There’s lots to be done. She finds her way to the television in Natasha’s room, and every channel is reporting on the snap. News story after story about the UN gala, Ross’s official statement on that, and then the millions that disappeared in a matter of seconds. She’s shocked they even found their way to running the studio and the news. Newscasters and reporters all look like a mess alike, and the streets are either empty or filled with lost children and people. 

Isabella feels her chest tighten at all the footage, and the estimated death toll. It’s in millions, and it’s not confirmed because none of the governments can figure out the fastest way to record it. 

“It will be a miracle if we can get things moving after this. No reports on how or where it came from, but witnesses are claiming that their loved ones disappeared to dust right in front of them.” The blonde newscaster says grimly, her own eyes filled with tears. “Where were the Avengers when we needed them? After the disappearance of Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man, and the aftermath of the Sokovian Accords, we are in desperate need of answers, even if the truth hurts.”

The television screen turns to black before they can move to the next item and Isabella looks up to see Natasha standing by the doorway. “It’s not good to watch that.”

She doesn’t reply, and Natasha makes her way to the foot of the bed, where she’s been sitting all this while. “We’ll be taking a few days to regroup and collect more information. We might have to fight Ross on the Accords giving what he’s just told the press about us.”

Isabella nods once. After all, she just saw him blaming the Avengers on live television. She realizes that she doesn’t quite know what time it is. “What’s the time now?”

“A little past noon.”

“Are we doing anything?”

“Steve’s going over to DC to explain the situation. They won’t give us a pardon until the story’s been out, and it could take months. But having the US government backing the Avengers isn’t too bad.” Natasha sighs. It’s been a rough night and morning for them all. “_You_ are going to stay here.”

“And do nothing? Natasha–”

“Sometimes, it’s all we can do.” The spy says, in a tone mixed with warning and resignation. She looks away from the bed, and out of the window, in an expression so forlorn Isabella doesn’t press any further. “You need to go back to Caydia eventually, Isabella. We can’t keep them from pressing any further.”

“No.” 

“Your highness...”

She’ll pretend they don’t exist for now. The UN wanted her out of the Avengers’ hands, and Caydia would want her back for her parents’ funeral. She couldn’t do that. Not now. 

“Please, Natasha.” She begs, gripping Natasha’s hands tightly. “I can’t go back yet. Please let me stay here.”

Natasha stills, and looks at her hands. Isabella will go on her knees if she has to. She wanted to stay here, with the Avengers, even if half of them were gone and the mood was sombre. 

“Alright.” Natasha sighs eventually, clutching Isabella’s hands back. She’ll talk to Steve, and maybe they’ll find a way to keep the Princess here for a little while more, just until the UN cleared the Avengers. “But for now, you can be a normal teenager. Don’t worry about it, the team will do our best.”

Isabella nods. She’ll stay out of the way.

“Come on.” Natasha says lightly, pulling the Princess out of bed. “I’ll show you around the compound after you’ve freshened up.”

* * *

Eventually, they meet up again a week after the snap, ready to discuss what they’ve found. They settle on a long mahogany table, but it just amplifies their lost, with so many seats empty. Izzy sits by the side, and Natasha makes sure that she’s not too far away to chip in if needed. 

Pepper Potts meets them at the table. Izzy’s met her once briefly, at a Stark charity gala, with her parents by her side. The CEO doesn’t look at glamorous as she did then, but if Isabella’s probably looking as bad as she felt, it wasn’t a problem. Still, Pepper gives her a hug, and soft condolences for her parents, and she takes it in with a small smile even though she knows Pepper was as anxious for Tony Stark.

They go through a brief rundown of events, led by Steve. It was as though Captain America never left, and perhaps that was why the Accords had failed. The Avengers were stronger together, with a leader. 

Nick Fury is gone – they tracked him and found his car on the streets of New York, with a strange pager on the road beside it that Bruce was currently trying to get a response from. They only uncovered it because there were cars everywhere along the streets, that were eerily silent. Natasha’s eyes fall at the mention of Maria Hill, but Izzy’s still trying to cope with the number she just heard to have asked who she was.

_Three billion_ gone. 

Billion.

The number’s still rising, as Rhodey warns. The lesser developed countries were having problems estimating the casualties. He had gotten the numbers from the A.I. in the building, F.R.I.D.A.Y. – something Tony Stark made. The A.I. was keeping track of online reports from nations around the world, but couldn’t seem to figure out where Tony Stark was, considering he was somewhere in space. 

They stare at the screen, at the climbing numbers. Three _billion_. They were left with around four billion, if they were lucky. 

“Any luck with the pager?” Steve asks, when they’ve exhausted all the available news. 

“It doesn’t show anything. Just that symbol? But there aren’t any records on it.” Bruce sighs, looking as if he had aged ten years in the past week. 

“How about Hawkeye?”

Natasha tenses, and Izzy realises that it’s her responsibility to find Clint Barton. As she recalled, he was placed on house arrest for going against the Accords, as was Scott Lang.

“MIA.” Natasha struggles to keep her emotions in check. “But... he left a message. He said to stop calling.” 

The room goes still, and for those who knew about Clint’s family, they understood the message. Izzy doesn’t want to intrude, so she keeps quiet. Steve takes one look at Natasha’s eyes, seeing it fill with tears, before deciding that he had to move on.

“We need to find Tony.” He looks at Thor, the god of thunder sitting by the side, defeated. “If he’s alive, we need him.”

“There’s no way to find his ship. We don’t have anything that will take us there.” The raccoon answers instead. 

Bad news after bad news, it seems like the regrouping isn’t helping in any way. They all needed something, at least a glimmer of hope, but it was back to square one. 

“Where is Fury?”

When someone else’s voice fills the room, all eyes are directed to the source. She’s dressed in a splash of red, gold and blue, but Izzy’s never seen this woman in her life. Clearly a superhero, with the get up – and were her hands _glowing_? 

“Who the hell are you?” Rhodey breaks the silence, eyeing the woman. 

“Captain Marvel. Where is Nick?” The blonde woman repeats, eyes darting around the room. She doesn’t recognize anyone familiar at all, and it makes her skin crawl, but the pager tracked down to this very location. 

“He’s gone.” Natasha says, rising from her seat. She doesn’t know this woman, but it’s a name she spotted a long time ago when S.H.I.E.L.D. first recruited her and she had hacked into Fury’s files and found a few redacted ones that only had one name on them. He’s secretive, but she’s doesn’t forget things like that – it’s in her training to remember. “You’re Carol Danvers.”

“Yes.” Carol frowns, sizing her up. Fury doesn’t tell things to people, he wasn’t like that. “Gone where?”

“Oh honey.” The raccoon gives her a fake smile that even Carol can recognize by the way she’s got one eyebrow raised in question. “We’ve got a lot to tell you.”

* * *

Carol Danvers was born human.

She specifically requests coffee, claiming to miss it. Izzy sips the cup of jasmine tea in front of her, feeling every bit as knocked back as Carol was as she hears their story from the battle field, and how it began. It’s the first time she’s heard things, since she only knew bits and pieces. Thor was recounting the tale, every last bit of it. He’s been more depressed than the rest of them, because he felt especially responsible for the outcome. _You should have gone for the head. _But Carol doesn’t judge, not yet. She listens and doesn’t say a word until it’s her time to tell her story. When she’s done with hers, the Avengers don’t see her as a threat, but an ally.

“So Captain America is alive.” She hums, amused. Steve doesn’t react, watching her carefully. “And Nick found his team of heroes.”

Then her eyes rest on Isabella, who wasn’t even born when Carol last left Earth. “And you’re still fugitives?”

“It’s not like they can stop us. Governments have been a mess since the snap, we’re not important.” Rhodey shrugs. 

“Nick’s gone.” Carol places her coffee on the table, slightly shakily, glancing up at the screens in front of them. Natasha doesn’t know about Fury and Carol’s relationship, but if she’s calling him Nick, it’s closer than she would have liked. 

“We lost a lot.” Steve says, taking a huge breath. “We’re missing Tony Stark. He’s in space, somewhere. If he’s alive, we need to find him.”

“I have contacts. Where were they last seen?”

“Thanos mentioned a planet. _Titan_.” Thor offers. “But we don’t have a ship. It’s not like we can build one in time.”

“Who said anything about a ship? I’ll go. Give me a moment.” Carol stands, ready to go.

“Wait, lady.” Rocket jumps out of his seat, taking offense about the ship comment. “Are you crazy?”

“Better than sitting here.” Carol shrugs, and her suit practically glows.

“Wait, Danvers. There’s one more thing. Thanos is still alive.” Steve says, eyes burning. “We don’t know where he is.”

Carol frowns. “What can we do?”

“We’ve created something to see if he’ll use those stones again. The energy signal would be off the charts.” Rocket explains. “But we can’t pinpoint where his is exactly.”

“Ok.” Carol nods. “Here’s the plan, keep on monitoring the energy spikes.”

“Lady, what are you doing?” Rocket asks.

“I’m going to get your friend back.” Carol shrugs, getting herself ready. 

It’s still fascinating to see superheroes in her midst, Izzy thinks, as Captain Marvel shoots out of a closed window, literally shattering it and making a mess behind her. It barely slows her down, and she’s gone before anyone can react.

None of them move, before Rhodey glances at the glass on the floor, and sighs.

“You’d think she would at least know how to open _windows_.”

* * *

It’s another waiting game, and this time Isabella knows better than to accept Natasha’s steaming cup of herbal tea, so the assassin tips it down the sink, confirming her theory about the sleeping pills. They end up waiting by the common room, as Natasha explained, the television on but every channel is talking about the snap. The United States have called it a state-wide emergency, and they aren’t the only ones. In the end, Steve turns off the TV entirely, not before Izzy catches a glimpse of her family portrait when the explosion is mentioned. 

“Last footage of Princess Isabella, heir to the throne of Caydia, were released to the press hours before. The Princess is currently the only known survivor. It is not known where her highness might be, but Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross is urging the exiled Avengers to return her.”

She’s reported as missing, and there’s some interview with Ross that cuts halfway when Steve decides to switch it off. Izzy doesn’t protest, and Natasha continues to stare at the climbing numbers on the screen. 

She’s about to give in to Natasha’s consistent nudge to go to bed, when Rhodey runs in. “Something’s entered. It’s probably her.”

They all take off, just in time to see a large ship and a blur of red and blue beneath it. Carol Danvers is carrying a spaceship, and she’s doing it with ease at how she gives them a tiny wave and a nod. Isabella only stares back in awe – just who was this woman?

Pepper steps out in front of them, fearing the worst, with Rhodey right by her heels. Then the door opens, and they see two figures. Tony Stark, looking too weak for comfort, and a blue robot? Human? Izzy wasn’t sure. Blue holds Stark carefully, helping him down, but he’s too engrossed at finding Pepper to care. 

“Pepper?” He gasps, and she runs into his arms.

“Oh God, Tony, I thought...” Pepper trails off, giving him a quick peck, crying as she held his face. 

“I lost the kid.” He says, and she stifles a sob, leaning in to kiss him again. Isabella looks away, realising it reminded her too much of Vision and Wanda. And they were both _dead_.

“We lost so much.” Pepper whispers, a tear down her cheek. Tony lets his face fall at that, and looks around the field, eyes landing first on Steve. It’s the first time they’ve met face to face since they fought.

“Cap.” Tony nods towards Steve, who returns the sentiment. He doesn’t see Bucky or Sam, so he knows without question. Whatever happened before, it’s gone. The fight at the airport, and whatever happened afterwards, they’ll bury it in the past. Their friends were dead, and they couldn’t be fighting in a moment like this.

“That’s Nebula. She’s one of the good ones. A little sadistic, but that’s basically our motto, right?” Tony gestures to Blue, who’s sitting beside Rocket by the steps of the ship. He doesn’t even flinch at the raccoon, but stranger things have happened, and Nebula’s being comforted by Rocket. “They’re all gone.”

Then he glances past Steve, nodding to Natasha, and then towards Isabella beside her. “You have a Princess beside you.” He says, deadpanned. Turning to Carol, he raises a brow. “You didn’t tell me they still had the princess.” 

“I didn’t think it was important.” Carol shrugs. 

“The Princess has a name. Isabella?” Natasha smiles.

“Izzy.” The Princess replies, exasperated. But she gives a tiny nod back as Tony Stark watches her with an expression she’s come to recognize as pity. He must know she’s all that’s left now.

“Okay. We can deal with that.” Tony stumbles, and Steve rushes over to grab his other arm, the one Pepper’s not latched to. He’s not looking very good, which Rhodey’s already got Bruce to handle by getting some medical supplies.

“After I get a cheeseburger, we can talk.”

* * *

He doesn’t get a cheeseburger, but an IV drip and a wheelchair that he protests about until Pepper forces him to sit. She’s good at that, because he does. 

They get Tony up to speed, filling in any details Carol hasn’t mentioned while she was focusing on getting the ship intact back to Earth. Pepper’s by his side the entire time, and it really helps wonders. The drip bothers him, but it’s as good as keeping him hydrated and alive for now. 

There’s so much tension between Tony and Steve, that Izzy feels Natasha tense in the seat beside her too. Still, Tony talks about what happened on his side, from finding a giant ring spaceship in New York, to fighting on Titan. But there’s nothing remotely important for them to note Thanos’ new location or strategy. The team were still back to square one, trying to figure out where to go and what to do, when an alarm sounds. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Rhodey murmurs. 

“What’s that?” Thor demands, grabbing Stormbreaker instinctively. 

“That’s Ross.” Tony sighs. “You’d think he’ll be part of the fifty percent...

“No more avoiding. Tell me the losses.” Ross’s hologram appears in front of them, just like before they left Wakanda. He spots Tony, and is surprised enough to look at him, dumbfounded. “Stark?”

“Fancy seeing you again.” Tony mumbles. “As you can see, I’m feeling peachy.”

“Can someone please tell me why the hell half of humanity just disappeared into dust? You’ve been given two weeks, so now report it to me. Not to DC, but to _me_, Rogers.” Ross hisses, not one for the jokes. Then he spots Isabella, and his gaze hardens – he hasn’t forgotten their earlier conversation. “Your highness, do you know the trouble the UN has been through? Your parents’ bodies were found in the wreckage. But we didn’t have our attention on the bigger threat, and we have three billion missing. You misdirected me, Princess Isabella. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you just helped the runaway Avengers let half the Earth disappear.”

Beside her, Natasha takes offense, a gentle hand on her arm to hold her down, but she’s numb. Isabella feels her heart race, staring back at the mad man in front of her in his hologram. But she’s a step too slow to reply.

“There’s a crazy titan called Thanos who literally snapped his fingers and turned people to dust. He caused that, and you’re blaming a teenager who just lost her parents for what happened?” Tony Stark’s rage is obvious even through a screen. “Ross, we’ve been your minions for too long. The UN is nothing now. Three billion, and you still want to hold power, huh? This isn’t about the Accords.”

“Yes, it is. You failed, Stark. You were supposed to contain the threat.” Ross raises a brow, furious. “Half my cabinet is gone, and the other half is trying to get answers from nations. Every single country has declared a state of emergency. You bet I want to know why the hell you failed.”

Isabella doesn’t have to turn to Tony Stark to know he’s taking that personally. Here was Iron Man, weak and coming back from the brink of death, trying to answer for the Avengers. Ross was never her favourite person, but today, she’s had enough. Bringing her parents in to guilt trip the Avengers? And then blaming Tony Stark? He wanted to stoop so low just to justify for _his_ Accords, and just like that she snaps.

“The Avengers didn’t fail.” Izzy rises, walking up to the hologram, shaking Natasha’s hand away. “Earth failed them. The UN failed. _You_ have failed. You always look for someone to blame, and now, you blame the Avengers?”

“Leave my parents out of this.” Her voice cracks, but she refuses to back down. “Whatever just happened, that’s also on you. The Avengers would have faced this together if you didn’t let your Accords in the way. My parents never supported a man like you, don’t you dare bring them up.”

She glares at the screen, her eyes burning. “I told you that we were facing a bigger threat. This isn’t Loki, or Ultron. The one thing you can do from now on is to stay away from the Avengers. The Accords are done. You will not step foot in this compound or raise any alarms or infiltrate any of our screens. So, if you can dismiss yourself, the Avengers have something to do.”

Ross stares at her for a moment, and at everyone in the room. He’s been criticized by her sharp tongue twice already. But it’s evident that he just lost the argument, and is overpowered. “Don’t step foot out of the compound until the Accords are settled. You can’t–” 

Mid-sentence, his screen shuts off, and they look right through it at the dimmed conference room. Rhodey has his hands on the controls, refusing to let Ross speak another word as the connection cuts. 

“You’re wrong.” Tony Stark speaks, the first one who dares to do so. “Ross was right. I failed.”

“Tony...” Pepper whispers.

“No, we lost so much. Three billion, huh? I don’t even own that much money” Tony says, scoffing slightly. “I went to space, and Thanos threw a moon at me, then disappears and snaps away three _billion_ humans.”

“Tony, ignore Ross. I need you to focus now. You fought Thanos, maybe he said something about where he was going next, or coordinates...” Steve presses, unshaken by Ross. He was just a distraction, taken care of by Isabella, who’s been pulled back by Natasha. They had to return to their plan to find Thanos, just like they were talking about before Ross interrupted. He needed to know where the hell was that titan, so he could kill him. 

Something inside Tony Stark snaps. He turns to Steve, eyes wild and unfocused. “Ross was right. I failed. The Avengers failed. Sorry, Princess. That speech you gave was beautiful, but I disagree. We _failed_.”

“Tony–”

“In fact, the Princess did remind me of something. Remember Ultron? Remember I told you that all we needed was a suit of armour around the world? Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedoms or not, that’s what we needed.” Tony raises his voice towards Steve, staring him down angrily. 

Steve, stubborn as always, looks right back. “Well, that didn’t work out, did it?”

“I said we’d lose. You said, “We’ll do that together too.” Well, guess what, Cap? We lost, and you weren’t there. But that’s what we do, right? Our best work after the fact? We’re the Avengers? We’re the Avengers. Not the Prevengers, right?”

“Tony, sit down.” Rhodey says, concerned, but it’s lost under the rage in Tony’s eyes. 

“No, no. Ross said the Avengers failed. Yes, we did. And you’ve got the nerve to ask me if Thanos – after he threw a whole moon at me – if he let slip his life plan after he turned half the universe to dust? Well, I got nothing for you, Cap. I’ve got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero, zip, nada. No trust, _liar_.” Tony whispers in anger and disappointment, inches away from Steve’s face, daring him to retaliate. Steve’s silent. Tony’s right about this. He failed the Avengers when they needed him, focusing on Bucky and not the greater good of the teams. He dragged Natasha and Sam and Wanda and everyone else who was caught up in the Civil War. And now they were dead.

It’s his fault, more than he would want to admit.

Then Tony rips the arc reactor from his chest, and thrusts it into Steve’s hand. “You take that. Take that and tell me we didn’t fail, Cap. Take it–”

Rhodey’s reaching out to catch him before he falls, but he’s too far, and Tony slumps onto the floor before they can react. Carol and Bruce rush to Tony’s side, the later checking his vitals. Meanwhile, Steve’s still holding the arc reactor, wild eyes staring at his own hand – he pushed and pushed, and it always ended up with a casualty. Pepper’s trying her hardest not to cry, but it’s failing her as Bruce frantically calls Thor over to get Tony up to medical. It’s a mess, the Avengers in chaos, and neither of them trusted each other. There was no team, just guilt and a lot of anger. 

Away from the commotion, Izzy’s feeling none the better. She was wrong – her parents supported Ross all the while, being ambassadors. They were partially responsible for the Accords, and everything that has happened. If they didn’t tear the Avengers apart, would this have happened? _Your parents’ bodies were found in the wreckage. _They were truly dead, and she just defended the Avengers, and now one of them had passed out on the floor partially because of her words. Maybe it’s true that Caydia was cursed. From the fake stones, down to what just happened. 

“Isabella.” Natasha says, grabbing her hand. For the umpteenth time that short few weeks, she found herself comforted by the Black Widow again. “Shh, you’ve done your best.”

But not enough. She could have yelled at Ross before he told Tony that it was his fault. She shouldn’t have brought up Ultron. Now Tony Stark was rushed to medical, and Captain America was left dazed and guilty by the side.

“Izzy.” Natasha tries again, wiping Izzy’s tears off her cheeks. She hadn’t even realized that she was crying. 

She doesn’t have anything to say, so she lets Natasha gently guide her back to the chair, the commotion from earlier moved to a different room as Bruce assessed the damage. Natasha refills the herbal tea she made earlier on, the pot lukewarm by now, pushing it closer to Izzy. Then, the assassin makes her way to Steve, who hasn’t trusted himself enough to move out, rather looking at the rest through the glass panes. 

“We’re a mess, huh?” He whispers. 

“Wouldn’t have expected any less.” She replies, a hand on his shoulder. “But it is what it is. Let it go, Steve. It’s the one thing you can do now instead of being stubborn like you always are.”

Steve doesn’t reply.

They wait until Bruce banishes the team sans Pepper and Rhodey out. Carol Danvers doesn’t say a word, but they know she’s confused. Nick Fury’s team of heroes, and all they’ve done so far in front of her is argue and look weak. Thor’s back to his corner again, and no one dares to pull him out – he blamed himself more than the rest. A room, full of the strongest people in the universe, reduced to nothing. 

When Bruce comes out, he’s quiet as well. “He’ll be fine. Just no overexertion and stress.”

“What do we do now?” Rocket asks, the question they’ve been asking themselves continuously for the past few weeks. 

“We find him.” Carol stands. Enough is enough, they will reverse this one way or another. She’s almost out the door when Rhodey stops her, a hand threateningly placed on her arm. She retaliates, nearly throwing him to the ground, if it weren’t for Steve’s cautious hands. 

“What?” Carol dares them to fight back. “You can sit here and wait, and fight amongst one another, while I find Thanos.”

“He’ll overpower you. He has all the stones, there’s no way you’ll be able to fight him.” Steve says, but it’s his expression that tells her that he’s not underestimating her. They’ve all seen her fly the ship down from space, with nothing but her own arms. 

“I know you’re mostly on your own, but we do things differently here. We’re the team, we do it together.” Rhodey bites back, messaging the sore spot on his shoulder where she nearly threw him down with. 

“If you’re the team, why have I just seen you fight?” Carol scoffs, and Steve flinches. “Let’s find him now.”

“And we just leave, like that? We don’t even know where to start.” Rhodey questions.

“There’s one thing Thanos has always talked about.” Nebula, quiet all this while, speaks, and they turn their attention to her. She’s not judging them like Carol is. Emotions always run high when something goes wrong, she’s spent her entire life trying to justify herself and blame her sister for that. But now her sister’s dead, and her _father_ was the one who caused all this. “Even being his daughter, he never wanted us to know things unless it was about his success. He dreamed of going somewhere alone, with the stones, and living a simple life, his wish fulfilled.” 

“So.” Rhodey frowns. “Thanos has a retirement plan.”

Look.” Bruce sighs. “Even if we find Thanos, what can we do? Take the stones and snap everyone back? Does it work that way?”

“Even if there’s a small possibility that it will work, we owe it to the people who aren’t in this room to try.” Natasha says, and she’s right. Steve lets out a breath he had been holding, looking around the room. Vision. Wanda. Sam._ Bucky. _

So many more. Three billion. 

“Do it.” Isabella says, looking up at Steve. She had been silently watching him all this time, after Tony, and seeing his hesitation. “You’re the Avengers. I don’t care if Ross still uses the Accords to pretend that you’re not. Who else can we rely on? We _need_ the Avengers.”

Carol eyes the room, nodding slightly. “You heard the Princess. So, what’s it going to be? Are you staying here, or do we leave together?”

Isabella looks over to Carol, who’s eager to go. Steve still looks slightly worried, and it’s clear that the team’s waiting for his approval. But she wasn’t going to wait anymore, either. They’ve done enough mopping around the past few weeks. They were the Avengers. And they will avenge, if anything else. “Go. Don’t forget, I outrank all of you. So you _have_ to do it.”

Natasha’s smirking slightly as she sees Isabella play the authority card, and even Carol has the sense to laugh. But it works, and Steve’s smiling, too. The room full of the universe’s most powerful people bring back the determined glint in their eyes, looking up to the Avenger’s leader, as if he had never left. 

When Steve stands, the fierce anger back in him, they know what’s coming. “Let’s go get this son of a bitch.” 

* * *

Natasha drops Isabella off with Pepper. 

“We leave immediately. I don’t know what’s going to happen.” The blonde says, her tone urgent and soft even though Tony is sedated and unconscious. Izzy’s waiting outside by the seats, her head dropping slightly – Natasha might have doped the tea a little with some sleep enhancing performers. She’s usually against those, but she knows the girl wasn’t sleeping well. You can’t cover up dark circles with a shake of a head and lies, so maybe this time she’ll get the rest she needed before they came back.

“Will they come for her?” Pepper asks, a little anxiously. 

“I doubt so. She’s made it very clear to Ross that she’s on to him.” 

The room is still, excluding the beeping sounds coming from the monitors attached to Stark. Natasha eyes the screen and the lines, even though Bruce had assured them all that Tony would be ok. She’s not one to be sentimental, but it is the first time she’s seen him since the airport in Germany. She’s come a long way from accessing him for Fury’s initiative, but either way she wished it had gone down better amongst the Avengers.

“You will find him, Nat.” Pepper whispers, watching her former assistant closely. “But I’m worried...”

Worried that finding him will be in vain.

They were lucky. Tony had Pepper, and Pepper had him. Three billion other people, not so much. _Leave me alone. _Clint, sent from his burner phone, just three words after her crazy number of phone calls and messages. 

It’s not like he was alone either. She couldn’t get through to Fury, or Maria, not even Scott Lang. It’s a miracle to be even standing here with Pepper now, or that Steve isn’t one of the fallen, likewise for the Princess. 

But a miracle, or a curse? When everyone she knew was gone? She couldn’t decide.

Natasha’s gaze hardens. They will try. For Clint’s children, for Laura, for everyone else in the universe. She lives in the present; not the past, and not the future. They will handle it later when they get there. For now, she needed someone to look after the teen they’ve been suddenly entrusted with because she just saw her parents get blown up while she held the fake stone responsible for it. 

“Take care of the Princess.” Natasha insists, choosing to ignore Pepper’s uncertainty. “I’ll put her to bed in my room – I doped her tea a little.”

Pepper doesn’t say anything to show her disapproval. “Nat, be careful.”

“I’m always careful.” The spy smiles. “How long have you known me?”

When Natasha’s slips out of Tony’s room, she finds Steve standing by the door, in his suit and beard shaved. “Too bad, I liked the beard.”

Steve blushes, then looks to Isabella, who’s practically snoozing in the chair. “You didn’t have to dope her.”

“You think she was going to stay here after what she pulled to get to Wakanda? She’s not going to be involved in this.”

Steve doesn’t mention the fact that Natasha’s being oddly protective, but he still frowns. “What do we do when we find him?”

She pauses, glancing up at him. “I don’t know.”

They don’t have time to sit there and ponder, with Carol leading them to whatever coordinates Nebula has planned out in five minutes. Natasha sighs – she’s been doing a lot of that lately – and looks down to Isabella, already out cold with the effects of the sleep enhancers. “We will figure it out when we find him. Steve, could you give me a hand?”

He ends up carrying the Princess bridal style, back to Natasha’s old room. It stuns him a little, seeing everything still in place. The ballet slippers hanging by her closet. The quick sketch he drew of her when she was laughing at something Sam said framed by her bedside. That one hits too far home, and he focuses on not throwing the Princess down on the bed instead. 

They are walking to the foyer, when she whispers to him. “She reminds me of when I was young.”

Knowing Nat, she doesn’t reveal things unless it bugs her. He lets her continue without a word. “I lost my parents in a fire. But I don’t really remember that, I think I was three. She’s sixteen, Steve.”

“It’s never easy.” He forces himself not to think back to the explosion. They were fake, but Thanos himself didn’t know where the soul stone was. So how did he find it? Nebula said he found it, and came back without her sister Gamora. The more he thought, the worse he felt. They needed this to work. Everyone depended on them, even if they didn’t show their support for the Avengers.

“Steve, this is going to work.” Natasha says, tone determined as they spot the team, all suited up and the newly repaired ship Tony and Nebula came in ready to go. 

“I know.” He says, meeting her eyes. “Because I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t.”

He breaks away from her, and she lets him go. It’s what he was meant to do – lead the Avengers. Years of hiding doesn’t change that, and even Captain Marvel is looking up to him. “Alright, team. We find him, then we take him down. No mistakes.”

“We only have one shot at this. And we can’t mess up the last chance we have. Whatever anger, sorrow we have, we will channel it in this fight. We will do _better_.” 

Steve looks around, at the team he’s been calling family for years. Then he glances over to Captain Marvel, the raccoon, Nebula – all eager and ready to fight. They can do this, all of them. It’s a far cry from the six of them years ago, but they will do this right this time.

“Let’s get him.”

* * *

Isabella dreams.

It’s a dream, because her mother is standing in front of her. She’s wearing white, and as cheesy as it sounds, she looks like an angel. Maybe because she is one. 

Considering she died in the explosion weeks ago.

“Izzy, darling.” Her mother says, and she lets out a soft sob. This is a dream, she reminds her subconscious. But it feels so _real_, seeing her mother up close like that.

“Mama.” Izzy breathes, settling for a wobbly smile. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I think you do.” Her mother, as regal as ever, smiles. They say she’s the splitting image of her, but Izzy knows better. Her mother wasn’t born to be Queen, but she met the King at college. “Izzy, you can make your own decisions. Just yours. You don’t have to live your life for the country when the government is there for you.”

What does she want? She wants to live a normal life. Go to school, live a little. Wear a uniform, not a gown for a formal gala. None of her decisions involve the UN, or Caydia. 

“I don’t know if I can.” She closes her eyes, capturing the moment. She doesn’t want this to end. Every moment she can spend with her dead mother, a dream or nightmare, she’ll take it.

“I have faith in you, sweetheart. Your father and I made sure that you would always be protected. The day you have to step up and lead, you’ll always have a choice.” Her mother smiles, cupping her cheeks with her hands. She feels like she’s eight again, when she fell down and broke her arm – safe, secure. 

“What if I choose wrong?”

“You will never.” The queen kisses her on the forehead, and it feels so _real_. “We will love you, no matter your choice.”

* * *

Isabella wakes up to find Natasha by the foot of the bed. Natasha looks fine, not a single cut or injury, and she’s wearing a tank top and shorts, her hair damp and a towel around her shoulders. She scrambles to find a clock, or anything that can tell her the time – it can’t have been that long, surely? 

“Isabella.” Natasha says softly, passing her a cup of water.

“You didn’t drug this one, did you?”

“No.” A hint of a smile appears on Natasha’s lips, but it’s gone before Izzy can ask. “You’ve been asleep for almost fourteen hours.” The spy frowns, concerned. “You need to sleep more.”

Isabella looks at Natasha closely. There’s no commotion outside the doors, and the blonde wasn’t rushing to share any news. She’s almost afraid to ask at this point, even if the answer looked blatantly obvious.

Natasha sighs, watching Isabella drink her mug of water. When she’s done, she gently takes it from her, placing it by the bed stand. 

“It didn’t work.” Isabella says. There’s no question about it, with the woman being so secretive.

“He’s dead. Thor went for the head. But... the stones are gone. He destroyed them.” The shine in Natasha’s eyes are from the tears, and Isabella can’t help but tear up too. “There’s nothing we can do. Thanos is dead.”

Isabella sits back, leaning against the bed frame dejectedly. She thought it would have worked. And even if her parents weren’t dusted, maybe, just maybe, they could bring them back. Her mother felt so real in her dream, she was just vividly standing right in front of her, and she would give everything to take back those few minutes. 

“We have to move on.” Natasha says, her tone hardening. She will not let herself cry over this. Regimes fall every day; she’s Russian, and she’s been telling herself this every single time they fail. SHIELD. The Accords. Thanos is _dead_. There would be no more threats now. “Steve’s heading to the UN to report what happened. He says we can’t be living like fugitives, and BBC just reported that Ross is being apprehended for his failure to sound the alarm for the Avengers. His Accords are the least of our problems, but it’s nice to know that we’re being looked at in a better light.” 

“Rhodey’s going back to the Air Force with Carol. She’s going to find her family, but she wants to know how we can stay in contact. Nebula and Rocket still have the ship. I didn’t ask where they were going, but it’s definitely not Earth. They’ll keep in touch, though.” Natasha finishes listing their plans. _We have to move on. _She needs to decide what she’s going to do now, because they still lost. Some more than others.

“What will you do?”

“I don’t know.” Natasha admits. “Continue staying here. If they need me, I’m ready. Bruce doesn’t think the same, he’s going to continue his research. The Hulk is the least of his concerns now, so he wants to live the life he was always doing before. Pepper... Tony woke up a few hours before you did. He says he’s done with the Avengers.”

“Are you?”

“No. There’s nowhere else I’d be going.” Natasha says, her voice soft. “Isabella, you know what’s coming next.”

Izzy doesn’t. The life she was doing before was attending diplomatic functions, organizing UN assemblies, and looking for charitable opportunities. It’s how they gained the UN’s trust, and subsequently, the world. _The day you have to step up and lead, you’ll always have a choice._

“You’ll need to go back and settle everything before you decide what to do.” Natasha says, as if she can read her mind. She didn’t want to push the Princess, she still didn’t have the time to properly get things wrapped up in her mind or grieve yet. Wanda was someone else she tried to help. The witch lost her family, and then her only brother in Sokovia, and the Avengers had taken her in. But now Wanda was dead, and Natasha feels like Izzy’s another version of Wanda. 

Isabella shocks them both with her decision. “I’m going to stay here.”

“Isabella.” Natasha says. If she’s startled, the spy doesn’t show it. “You’re the most important person in Caydia now. If Steve doesn’t convince the UN to give us immunity, you’ll be forced to go back.”

“I’m not the government. I’m a royal because my ancestors found three alien stones. The _fake_ stones. I was never meant to be Queen.” Isabella’s gaze hardens, and she throws the comforter off her lap, hopping off the bed. “If three billion are gone, they’ll take it as I’m part of them. Nobody needs me anymore.”

Natasha watches her carefully for a moment. It’s uncomfortable to have the spy read her like that, but Izzy forces herself to stay still, unflinching. Was she crazy? Possibly. Did she think this through yet? No. But everyone had a plan. Everyone, except Natasha, and her decision to stay in the Avengers compound despite still being an exile. And if it counts for something, that’s exactly what Isabella felt at the moment. 

Finally, the spy unclenches her jaw. “Fine. But I’m not your babysitter, Princess.”

A tiny smile forms on Isabella’s lips. “And I’m not your Princess.” 

They’ll survive. There’s a reason they weren’t dust right now, and even if the story doesn’t have a happy ending, they lived. Thanos is dead, and they will rebuild.


	2. t w o

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have what we have, when we have it.

** _Two months after._ **

There’s still so much to be done. The UN assembly gathers today, with a televised hearing, and Isabella’s surrounded by people again. They prep her hair, curling its ends, and touch up her face, making her cheeks rosy and her eyes bright. She will look _perfect_ today for the cameras, the press, and the world. 

Isabella doesn’t recognize the girl in the mirror. She doesn’t feel as put together as she’s groomed to be. Someone places a tiara on her head, and it’s light and more functional than the fancy one with the stones, but it still takes her two months back, and suddenly the room closes around her. It’s all so fresh in her mind, her mother’s touch, her parents in the audience, the screaming, the flames... 

These are the things you can’t forget easily. And for the past two months, it’s been replaying in her head like a nightmare, except it’s _real_ and she’s living it.

Someone touches her shoulder, then slowly cradles her face until she’s staring right into the emeralds of her eyes. She’s still hyperventilating, and the tears are coming in hot and fresh, and she knows someone’s going to have to fix it up again, but ruining her makeup is the last thing on her mind. 

“Shh.” Natasha whispers, the owner of those green orbs she’s looking into. The team of makeup artists and stylists are all gone now, and the spy’s the only one left in the room. Isabella hasn’t seen any of them leave, or even knew Natasha was there. She should be preparing for the hearing with Steve, not here with her.

It’s oddly embarrassing. Isabella shrinks away from Natasha’s hands, avoiding her eyes, awkwardly dabbing at her lower eyelids so the mascara doesn’t smudge. “Sorry, I don’t know...”

“It’s okay.” Natasha assures her, hugging her close. It’s been like that lately, after the failed attempt at getting Thanos. She doesn’t want to go back to Caydia – no, not yet. Maybe never. She has to stay in New York anyway, being a prime witness to the Accords and the Avengers’ mission to get Thanos. It took the governments around the world weeks to sort their cabinets out, and the UN scrambled for some sort of order to carry out the trials. Not everyone survived, but even those that did needed time to reassemble. 

After the hearing, she needs to return back to Caydia for her parents’ funeral. That makes her shake again, and maybe she’s not cut out for this. She can’t go back into the public eye to testify for the Avengers if she can’t pull herself together. 

Natasha peers at her, a frown on her carefully made up face. She had on a formal leather jacket, and her blonde hair was in curls; Isabella could sort of see a few dark red roots peeking out from the crown of her head. “It’s going to be okay. You just need to say a few words, and Steve will handle the rest.”

She can do that. She _needs_ to do that. She can put on a brave face in front of millions and smile and say that everything was alright, and that they will learn to move on. She can tell the assembly that the Avengers did all they could, and Thanos, while dead, might have taken away half of humankind, but they were still here. Then she can turn it on Ross and let him know that splitting the Avengers did nothing, and she hoped he was happy. 

But nothing can ever take away the pain of the last few weeks. They send him to jail, and then what? Nothing can bring the fallen back. _Nothing_ can bring her parents back, no matter who they blame or who they kill.

“I know. It’s just… I miss them.” Isabella says, and immediately regrets. She sounded like a kid. Living in the Avengers Compound these past months instead of Caydia? They’ll be asking her about this today, and she wouldn’t be let go if she looked this needy. They wouldn’t be granted immunity if she couldn’t even say her statement, and then she’ll be back in Caydia without the Avengers, or Natasha.

Natasha holds her hands tightly, and dabs at her cheeks with a dry tissue. “I know, sweetheart.” The endearing term makes Izzy warm inside, shedding more tears. “Come here.”

The spy gives her a big hug, and Isabella lets her eyes close for a minute. Two months in the compound, and it’s quieter, with only Steve and Natasha for company. The rest had gone their separate ways, with only Steve fighting for the Avengers to be cleared. Natasha said they were only making a big fuss out of it because they had nothing else to blame. Thanos was dead, and the world knew that, so now the UN had to clear the Avengers for making it happen, even if half of them won’t ever come back.

“Your highness. They are starting.” Someone comes back in, interrupting their moment. Isabella straightens up as Natasha pulls away, and they check her makeup once more themselves without alerting anyone. 

“I promise it won’t take long.” Natasha says, taking the compact powder herself and dabbing it onto Isabella’s cheeks. “We’ll be out soon. You can do this, Isabella. I wouldn’t think otherwise of you.”

After the Accords hearing, they’ll be flying to Caydia for the funeral. Izzy lets Natasha work her magic on her, and nods. She’ll deal with that later. Two months on, and she needs to face it. They all do.

* * *

The Avengers go free, and for the first time in months, Isabella returns to Caydia.

They bury her parents in the palace garden. Two months too late, a private burial with a few trusted people. The country already had time to mourn two months earlier, with the public memorial and government broadcast. The King and Queen were the rulers who pushed for hundreds of initiatives and charities, who gave Caydia the diplomatic ties they needed to rise out of debt and into a first world nation, and most importantly, were the rulers who served Caydia until the day they died. 

Isabella listens to the council as they read out their wills. Her father was always one to be prepared, and she’s given full reign. Even with that, she announces that she’s stepping down as Princess. Caydia will run without their royals, the first time since its birth. The government will handle things as usual, but she was no longer tied to her commitments. She was Princess, in name and nothing else. 

No one questions her, and maybe it’s because her first public appearance testifying for the Avengers was a mess. It’s the most exciting thing to come out of the snap, and so televised since people were still mourning and angry for answers. She barely made it through the enquiries, but it’s done and the Accords are completely banished. Too late, people say. _CNN, BBC, New York Times_; every single outlet covers everything about it and the outcome is unanimous: they will struggle to move on.

It figures that it’s raining when the funeral is held. It was a long process since the UN finally granted the Avengers immunity, and even if it was earlier, she doesn’t know if she could ever be ready for this. Natasha holds the umbrella for her as she stares into the distance, the rain pouring down on them. Steve’s somewhere at the back, with Tony and Pepper. Bruce was too holed up in his research to stop, which had been that way since a month ago, and Thor had been missing since the day he killed Thanos. They agreed to gather for her, but even Izzy knows Steve and Tony’s feud will never be settled, not now, maybe not ever. 

Clint Barton is still missing. Natasha searches for him every day, waiting for alarms to go off if he even tries to contact her in anyway. But they are all silent, and it’s not until Rhodey gets a notice from his ties with the army that they’ve reported a large-scale gang fight in Mexico. It’s so problematic that the CIA’s been called in. The problem? No gang is taking responsibility for it, and all parties have too many casualties for it to be a normal fight. The assassin leaves behind a trail of blood, which authorities describe as “merciless”, and at every scene, there’s a single arrow pierced through the leader’s heart that can only mean a good marksman was at it. 

Shaken, Natasha tells Rhodey to keep her posted, and leaves it at that. It might not be Clint, but his disappearance and going radio silent? She fears that he’s out there killing because it eases off the pain of his family. The arrow doesn’t mean anything to her yet, and she doesn’t want to think about how similar this was to her past. Before SHIELD, using her skillset to kill in her own free will just to escape the Red Room.

If this was Clint, she takes responsibility for it.

Even in Caydia, Isabella gets the nightmares. They alternate from fire to faceless purple giants, and they leave her crying every single night. She doesn’t know how Thanos looks like – but she never will. He is dead, yet so is half the universe.

“You can stay here.” Natasha says, on the last day of their stay. The funeral was done, and she’s free from her duties. A Princess without a crown, without her purpose; an empty shell in the country she’s so desperately to block out. 

Izzy thinks about her nightmares, in the room too pink that reminds her too much of her childhood. “No.” 

“Then you’re always welcome to stay at the compound.” Natasha eyes the pink photo frame of the royal family, the three of them smiling, and doesn’t push it.

But she can’t leave yet. The Caydian committee agree that she can’t go without a legal guardian. She’s still a minor, and her birthday isn’t for another month. Even then, she’ll turn 17, not 18 as the legal age here. So Natasha finds Steve, and gives him a proposal.

“Wanda was the same.” Natasha explains, when Steve gives her a confused look. “Her mind will be torn to shreds if you make her stay behind, Steve. We make do with what we can. Especially now.” 

Steve’s hesitant about this, but he trusts Natasha, and she’s right. “Tell them we’ll sign it.”

The next day, Steve and Natasha become official legal guardians for Isabella Genevieve Kim-Lim of Caydia.

Isabella leaves, and never looks back.

* * *

** _Four months after._ **

Isabella turns seventeen today. 

She’s been living in the Avengers compound for a month now, not counting the UN’s trial. Natasha stays with her, but Steve has his own apartment in Brooklyn – he’s starting a therapy group, or so he says. When he first told them that, Natasha grips his hand so hard, the pair of them sharing a knowing look. It was Sam’s old job, he had explained. Isabella thinks of Sam Wilson, the Falcon, apologizing to her for failing to save her parents. She doesn’t question anything else, so they leave it as it is. 

They haven’t seen or heard from Tony or Pepper in months, except for a message from the latter. She’s pregnant, and as far as Tony’s concerned, no one else knows; she’s breaking the rules in telling them. Natasha doesn’t take it to heart, but Steve does. The cold tension between them hasn’t dropped, and if Tony doesn’t want him knowing he’s going to have a kid, it means he hasn’t forgiven him. Truthfully, Steve wouldn’t if he was in Tony’s shoes. 

They’ve been quiet for months. Sometimes, Izzy wakes up when the sun enters her room around eight, and stays in bed until noon. Other days, she’s finds herself wandering around the large compound, and ends up sleeping on the couch in the main quarters. Or in the dance studio, the mirrors keeping her painfully aware of her own image. Once, right in the conference room where she stood up against Ross.

She always wakes up with a blanket wrapped around her, but Natasha doesn’t mention anything, so she stays silent too. 

But today, it’s nine in the morning and she’s out of bed. A change in schedule. After all, it’s her _birthday_. She wonders if Natasha knows. It was like living in a house, alone with another stranger. Except this house was huge, and they hardly saw each other except for meals. Occasionally, Steve would show, and she’s polite in answering their questions and making small talk, even if she never felt up to it. They only talk if they have to, and she’s wondering when they’ll kick her out or send her back to Caydia. Nowhere was home now, and she’s just walking around, trying to pass the time.

The redhead was sitting by the common kitchen, talking on the phone. Her hair’s past her shoulders now, and the stubborn blonde tips contrast against the dark red roots from the crown of her head. “Steve, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

More mumbling from the other end. No point trying to make out the words, she’s not a super soldier with enhanced hearing. 

“You don’t think I’ve noticed? She won’t agree to this. I can barely get her to eat.” There’s a soft sigh from the spy’s lips. “Not today, Steve. It’s her birthday.”

So she does know. 

Steve says something through the line, and it pisses Natasha off, because the redhead frowns and hisses back. “I didn’t ask you to sign the form just so she can leave Caydia. She’s still our responsibility.”

Isabella cringes. “I didn’t ask you to.” She says, stepping into the room to reveal herself. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

They said time will heal; everyone’s been trying to do so. Schools were all opened, businesses up and running. Life goes on, whether they liked it or not. But Izzy still cries herself to sleep every night and sometimes every morning. If Natasha had been nerved by this, she hasn’t said a word. They don’t talk, except the few sentences exchanged during meals or when the spy had company and had to go. 

“Isabella.” Natasha says carefully, abandoning the phone call with Steve. “You’re up early.”

“What does Steve want?” Izzy’s trembling, her voice shaking slightly as she tried to keep herself in control. “Are you sending me away?”

“No.” Natasha shakes her head, walking towards her. She could never read the spy, and this was one of those moments. The redhead speaks into the phone, ending her call. “Steve, I’ll see you.” 

“You said I won’t agree to it.” Izzy presses, her adrenaline spiking as she thinks about the possibilities. Maybe it wasn’t working. They’ll send her back to Caydia and she’ll be reinstated. “Agree to what?”

“It’s your birthday. Are you a cake person?” Natasha ignores her questions. They are not ready to be answering the difficult ones.

But Izzy’s tired of running around in circles, tiptoeing over conversations like she’s made of glass. She had to stop doing that. The snap was months ago, and she’s seventeen today. She had been running away from her fears for far too long. 

“I don’t _care_!” She yells, her voice breaking. “I didn’t ask you to sign the forms. If you want me gone, I’ll go. I’ll agree to whatever the hell Steve wants me to do.”

“It’s not like that. You heard what I said. You’re still _my_ responsibility.” Natasha says firmly, folding her arms. She sighs, snatching up a few tissues from the counter, and proceeds to dab the stray tears from Izzy’s cheeks. It’s such a warm, intimate moment, more fresh tears spring out. Except Isabella’s still confused, and so she waits for Natasha to continue.

“Steve’s worried.” The spy says, concern in her tone. “And frankly, so am I. Isabella... you haven’t moved for weeks.”

“What do you mean? I eat all my meals with you. We do those Sunday lunches at Steve’s, and–”

“You haven’t done anything else.” Natasha tilts her head with a hand, and it reminds her of her mother. Except she’s _dead_. “Crying yourself to sleep? You can’t even get yourself out of bed in the mornings. F.R.I.D.A.Y. still runs this building, and she’s been giving me updates.” 

She did notice. It doesn’t mean anything. Izzy barely knows Natasha Romanoff. She doesn’t know anything about the woman she’s living with. There’s no point in doing anything with her life right now. 

With a sharp breath, she exhales. “What can I do? Run to you? I don’t know you. You took pity on me and signed those papers just because you saw my parents die in front of me.”

Natasha shakes her head, calm and collected. “You’re wrong. I signed them because you deserved to live a little. Isabella, you could have stayed behind, waited for the UN to bring you back to Caydia. But you decided to help the Avengers.”

“I saw someone else in you. Wanda? I wasn’t a really good mentor to her. When you said you needed to do something, right before we left for Wakanda, I decided that I needed to help you out. And maybe you’re right. I saw your parents die in front of you. Maybe it’s guilty conscience, for Wanda and not trying hard enough.” Natasha’s eyes shine with tears, and it scares Izzy more than she can let on. She hadn’t seen her so emotional before, in all the times she’s been around. “I saw myself in you, too. Because my own parents died in a fire, and I don’t remember that. You can’t live without people, Isabella. It took me years to realize that on my own. You need to be around someone.” 

Izzy doesn’t know Natasha Romanoff at all. She doesn’t even know if Natasha’s told anyone something so personal about her life. “I’m sorry. It’s just... I thought Steve wanted me gone. The way you told him that’s not why you asked him to sign the papers... I thought you did it because you pitied me.” 

Then, softly, so quietly it barely comes out, Izzy whispers sadly, “We don’t know each other at all, and now you’re responsible for me. I don’t want to be a stranger.”

To her surprise, Natasha pulls her into a soft hug, clutching her hand tightly. “We’re all that’s left. We have what we have when we have it.”

_We have what we have when we have it._

Isabella has herself, now. She has nothing else. Natasha has Steve. Steve has Natasha. The Avengers, or what’s left of them, have each other. Having Natasha was better than having no one at all. 

The redhead senses the shift in the Princess’s emotions, and guides her to the kitchen counter. “You can’t be a stranger forever. Sit down, I’ll make you some tea, and we’ll talk.”

And they do. 

Natasha tells her about her past. An orphan, picked up by Russian operatives called The Red Room, trained into the assassin she is. The Black Widow was ruthless, that Isabella knows, but how she was made? Natasha bares it all anyway. They train little girls, shape them into deadly assassins and spies. _You are made from marble._ Mould them into a weapon, and Natasha’s blunt about what she’s done, and Isabella tries not to flinch. It’s the past, but she’s painfully aware that Natasha could murder without any tools.

“You come to a point when killing becomes natural. Blood becomes nothing but water.” Natasha says gently, and if Isabella knew better, there’s regret and shame in her tone. Then the spy shakes her head, and moves on. 

She talks about deflecting after Clint Barton came for her. He was ordered to kill her, and she was ready for him to, but he lowered his bow and gave her an offer to join S.H.I.E.L.D. Nick Fury wasn’t exactly happy, but Clint was determined that she could become better. He fought for her to stay, and went through all the boring assessments with her so that she could be trusted by S.H.I.E.L.D.

“I owe him everything.” Natasha says, avoiding Izzy’s eyes. It was easier to avoid emotions when you distanced yourself. “I’d be dead if he hadn’t believed in me.”

“Where is he?” Izzy regrets it immediately, because Natasha falters. 

“Someone’s been killing all the gangs and thugs all over the world. Rhodey thinks it’s Clint, and he’s keeping tabs for me. I think... I think he’s trying to get over his family’s death.” 

Izzy listens, and doesn’t comment on how Natasha’s voice resonates with pain at that. “It’s what I used to do, kill without mercy. But I had orders, and I wasn’t good then. Clint’s doing this all on his own, and... I want to stop him. I’ve tried, but he won’t listen.”

Isabella hadn’t known about Hawkeye. He was posted on house arrest because he wasn’t even an Avenger in the Accords, and said he was retired. She hadn’t known that Hawkeye had a family, but maybe that’s why he took house arrest without question.

“Will you find him?”

“No.” Natasha shakes her head. “Nothing will bring back his kids. And a part of me doesn’t want to see him like that.”

They stop talking about Clint Barton after that. 

Natasha continues her story – S.H.I.E.L.D., and the people in it that helped her go straight. They are all dead now, but Izzy recognizes Maria Hill and Nick Fury. She goes on about Loki, Thor’s brother, and how the Avengers came about, and then how S.H.I.E.L.D. fell. About Sam, how they met, and chasing Bucky – the Winter Soldier.

Isabella listens to Natasha talk about Wanda and Vision, and how Ultron was made and destroyed. How the team got together, and where everyone else went. The Avengers were more than a team, they were family. Natasha tries her hardest not to break, but the tears get the better of her, and sometimes she pauses to grip her emotions. 

Still, Isabella waits. She hears the stories and memories that Natasha’s been holding for years, understanding her guardian more. 

“It’s some of the best years of my life.” Natasha admits, smiling. “Even when I had nothing, the Avengers were all I had.”

Isabella sees things in her perspective, and thinks of all the trouble Ross and the UN did to destroy that. It doesn’t matter anymore, because he’s in jail, but at what cost? 

“Ok, I’m done.” The spy refills their cups of tea, and wipes her cheeks. “If you tell Steve I cried, I’m disowning you.” 

“I wouldn’t dare.”

“Tell me.” Natasha says, after a sip of tea. 

“Huh?”

“You said you didn’t want to be strangers.” Natasha points out. “So, tell me about you.”

She does.

Isabella likes to draw. Hasn’t done it in a while, and isn’t really good in it. When she was seven, her parents made her choose between ballet and art in the palace. She chose ballet, and Natasha’s eyes shine at that – it was part of her early training.

“Steve’s the artist, he always did drawings of us around the compound.” Natasha rolls her eyes. “But ballet, I can do.”

“I’m not great at it.” Izzy warns.

“We can’t be good at everything like Natasha.” They jump at the new voice, and turn to see Steve standing by the door. “Happy Birthday, Isabella.”

“Steve.” Izzy breathes out, eyeing the bouquet of flowers Captain America was holding. “You didn’t have to.”

“It’s an apology.” He admits, looking sheepish. “I didn’t mean to, this morning...”

“Sit, Steve.” Natasha says, interrupting as Izzy takes the flowers and admires it happily. “We’re talking now.”

Isabella continues her story. She’s only fluent in Mandarin and a little bit of Korean, being so close to the countries, but English was still their main language. When she was twelve, she broke her leg in a horse riding accident, so out of boredom she took singing lessons, and it escalated from there. She tells them about professional lessons after watching _Matilda_ with the British royal family. She was going to sing at the UN charity gala – the one her parents died in. The thought of singing makes her emotional, so she ends it there.

She recounts her whole life, traveling from country to country with her parents as they did their ambassador duties with the UN. Not having many friends growing up, and meeting other royals who wished they could have her life. Now she wishes she has theirs.

She’s only known her family to be her parents her whole life. There were no grandparents or uncles and aunties that could have seen her. “Even when they were busy, they made time for me.”

The tears pool in her eyes automatically at the mention of her parents, but she presses on. “They were my only family. But we have what we have when we have it, right?”

Natasha smiles slightly, and so does Steve. Three months post snap, and she’s found another family against all odds; the Avengers and her lead very different lives. They will move on, Izzy thinks. 

They can heal from this.

* * *

** _Six months after._ **

Pepper Potts is pregnant. Six months, at least. And she’s getting married to Tony Stark in a secret house off a lake today.

Steve was hesitant about going. He had been taking up a support group down at Brooklyn, and neither Isabella nor Natasha saw the need in going down to one of his sessions, so he continued to stay in his apartment, while they stayed in the Avengers building. He wasn’t even sure the invitation said his name, but it did. 

Natasha piles her hair up, braiding it by sections and securing it with bobby pins. The red is more pronounced now, but the blonde still hangs stubbornly on her tips. They will look their best today for Pepper, ignoring all the tension from Tony. It’s no secret the billionaire was still slightly hurt from everything. 

They’ve been healing for the last few months. She understands Natasha more than ever now. They settle into an easy routine, with Natasha starting the new initiative to monitor any dangerous activities in the universe, together with Carol, Rocket, Okoye, Rhodey, and sometimes Nebula. Sometimes Izzy sits in, and they talk about how life has become. It’s easier than Steve’s support group, she thinks, because heroes are more hardened and the dark humour is way more appreciated. 

They are more open to the universe too, with Rocket telling them about whatever Nebula’s gone and done in some planet, and Carol would chip in and talk about her own issues on another planet. It’s very mind boggling to think about anything other than Earth, but it’s the stories that keep them sane and whatever this group is active.

Izzy’s wearing her hair down, the dark waves going down to her chest. Pepper Potts was getting married, and she invited them all. A chance to restart and bury the hatchet. She was going to try for her guardians – for Natasha, who keeps track of them from afar in secret, and for Steve, who pretends not to care.

_We have what we have when we have it._

“This isn’t Tony’s style.” Natasha says as they pull up to the house. It’s small, cosy, and extremely laid back – all of the traits Tony Stark doesn’t exhibit. The car they take from the Avengers compound is a huge contrast to the humble home. “Rhodey said he was downsizing, but I didn’t know...”

Rhodey’s there to guide them, smiling slightly. Izzy hasn’t seen him since their last call, when he was giving Natasha updates on Barton. He’s not attending today, if it was even a question. The man was last spotted in France, and this time, he wasn’t trying to hide.

She tried not to notice Natasha looking crestfallen at that. 

“Nat. Princess.” Rhodey grins, greeting them as Natasha rolls down the window. Isabella could never really shake that nickname off, but she smiles back, anyway. Then, as if it was a forethought, he greets the man in the backseat. “Steve.”

“How’s he?”

“More verbal today. But you know he’s like that when he’s nervous.” 

“I think Pepper should be more nervous. Marrying Tony Stark? She’s signing up for a lifetime sentence.” Natasha smirks, and Rhodey laughs along with Izzy. Rhodey guides her to park along the path, promising that she’ll get it back in one piece, and the gang walk up to the house. 

Tony’s really settling down. 

He’s not the type for books, and the house is filled with them. It’s cosy, domestic, and everything the Stark Tower, and subsequently the Avengers compound, isn’t. Living there for months has gotten Izzy accustomed to having an A.I. as a butler, but here, it’s just nature and a gorgeous lake that stretches out beyond the house.

It’s as if he was getting rid of Iron Man, and everything associated to the Avengers.

Pepper’s sitting by the couch, dressed in white and a hand on her baby bump. She’s glowing radiantly, and smiles widely the moment she spots them come in. “Natasha! I’m so glad you could make it. Isabella? And Steve, you too!”

Izzy watches Natasha head to the pregnant woman, who compliments her hair and hugs her warmly. Apparently, Pepper was pregnant before the snap, and they’ll be ready to welcome life after it in a few months. It’s funny how things force you to move on, even when the universe around you wishes it could stop.

Steve hangs awkwardly at the back, glancing up the stairs where Rhodey had disappeared to. This time, instead of heading with Natasha, Isabella stays with him, letting the women chat excitedly. “You just need to say sorry.”

“It’s more complicated than that, Iz.” 

“Men. One of you just needs to let go of your ego.” Isabella looks up to her other guardian. “We have what we have–”

“When we have it.” Steve finishes, shaking his head. “Natasha’s told me that one before, and now it’s your favourite quote.”

“She also told me we need to live in the moment.” She smiles, the pair of them glancing fondly at Natasha. 

“Natasha doesn’t think of herself as mentor material.” Steve says, with more affection in his tone. He was around to see the changes in the Princess, and she’s cheekier than what they found months ago, less guarded and a lot _happier_ than they could have thought. “But I think she’s done amazing with you.”

“As opposed to the quiet kid months ago?”

“You said that, I didn’t.” Steve chuckles. They don’t see each other as often as her and Nat do, but he’s still easy to get around with. Sometimes, she thinks Steve’s in love with Natasha. Or at least slightly infatuated. He looks at her like she’s the sun, and it happens quite often when they have dinner together. 

“Natasha’s important to me.” Isabella says, and it’s how easy the words flow out that makes her stop. She doesn’t know if the spy had someone say such words to her before either. Steve doesn’t ask why, and lets her continue. “And you’re always there for me too. I don’t want the Avengers to be torn apart; all of you are here. So, you should talk to him. For Nat?”

Steve pauses, darting from Natasha to Izzy. Then he gives her a brief smile. “Of course, your highness.”

She doesn’t even have the urge to get mad or correct him before he leaves up the stairs.

-

“This is absurd. She’s pregnant, what fucked up tradition says I can’t see my own girlfriend in her wedding dress before the wedding?” 

Steve hears Tony’s complaints before he even enters the room. Still, he sees Rhodey roll his eyes at his problematic best friend. “Just sit your ass down for a few moments while everyone arrives.”

Rhodey glances up at Steve, and immediately tenses when he sees that he’s alone without Izzy or Nat. “Hey man, you don’t have to come up when everyone’s downstairs.” He says, a hidden meaning behind his words. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Steve, it’s just that things hadn’t gone well between the two since the airport fight.

Tony doesn’t even flinch at Steve’s presence. “At least tell me Pepper’s complaining like I am.”

“She was too busy with Nat and Izzy to think otherwise.” Steve says lightly. He’s awkwardly standing close to the door, like he could flee anytime something went badly.

Tony blinks once, twice, then sighs. “Rhodes, since you imprisoned me here, can you check on our guests for me?”

“You know, Pepper also wanted to keep this tradition.” Rhodey grumbles, but he stays firmly in the room. He’s not going to leave Steve with Tony again; they were like ticking time bombs, and the last time they were together, someone nearly died.

“I’m fine, Rhodey.” Tony presses. “Cap here isn’t going to fuck me up again. Right?”

“Um, I’m not.” Steve promises, frowning. He doesn’t bother to correct Tony that he’s not Captain America anymore, and lets the language slide.

“Okay, but I better see this room still standing when I get back.” Rhodey warns, and leaves through the door, not before eyeing Steve.

“Technically, this is my house, I can do whatever I want with it.” Tony says even though Rhodey’s long gone. 

“Tony...” Steve starts, unsure of how to continue.

“If you came here to say you’re sorry, or apologize, I already forgot all about it.” Tony waves him off before he can continue. “At first, yeah, I’d liked if you just fucked off to hell.” Tony continues his blunt assault, and Steve freezes. “But… Pepper’s right. I can’t stay angry forever. Your bestie’s dead. Peter’s dead. Everyone’s dead. So, what’s the point of me hating? Nothing can bring them back.”

Tony gives him a look, and Steve returns it, trying not to think too much about that. “Don’t be such a worrier, Cap. It gives you wrinkles.”

It’s the closest Steve will ever hear Tony say something close to forgiving him. But he’s done a lot of stupid things in his life, and throwing his friendship with Tony aside was one of them. Even though Bucky was his friend and he would go anywhere for him, he owed it to Tony. He knew Howard, for God’s sake. He could have done more for Howard’s child. 

And as Izzy said downstairs – it’s not that hard to say sorry, so he still presses on with his apology. “I still wanted to say I’m sorry. For everything.” Steve lets out a slow breath. “For keeping Bucky from you, and for not being there when you needed me.”

Tony stares at him, unwavering. “Maybe I should have called you. Did you know that I gave the phone to Bruce? I just wasn’t ready to face you again. The Avengers’ failure was on me – I let my own personal grief take hold of me.”

“No.” Steve shook his head. “Tony, it was mine too. I let _my_ past control me. Bucky asked me if he was worth it, and I always thought he was but... we should have talked it through. Natasha was right. Staying together was more important than how we stayed together, and maybe if we did, we wouldn’t have ended up like this.”

They watch each other carefully, unyielding. It’s hard to bring up their past mistakes. The civil war was three years ago, and it still felt like a decade when so much has changed over those years, not to mention the snap. Then Tony gives a small chuckle. “Red’s always right, huh?”

“You know she is.”

“Then how about we settle it and say we’re both at fault and we move on from it?” Tony says, and maybe _this_ is the closest Tony will ever admit to making a mistake. “After all, I’m getting married today.”

Steve gives him a tiny smile, and offers his hand. “Okay.”

“Nat’s here?” Tony asks.

A nod. “So is Isabella.”

“She’s going to sing for the first dance today, did you know?” Tony frowns, even as Steve nods. Natasha wasn’t as enthusiastic, but Isabella said she could at least do it for Pepper and Tony. “You heard her sing before?”

“No, she’s not exactly singing anywhere.”

“Then how do I know she’s going to sound good? She might be one of those Hollywood singers that use auto tune.”

Steve actually laughs. “She’ll be fine.”

Tony still looks sceptical. “So, you became a Princess’ guardian?”

“Nat said she should get the chance to leave Caydia and be normal, forget about what happened...” Steve trails off. He still remembers the explosion vividly. It’s surreal seeing someone you love die in front of you, when you’re helpless and you can’t do anything but watch them go. It’s kind of the same feeling he felt when he closes his eyes and sees Bucky fade away to nothing but dust and ash. And for years before that, when he couldn’t save him from the train.

He shakes his head before he can go deeper into those thoughts; it’s a happy occasion today. “I think she’s getting better. We all are.”

Tony wants to say something. He wants to mention about how he can’t get the Spider kid’s last words out of his mind. It’s eating him, every single day – survivor’s guilt, or maybe just the simple fact that he hadn’t done more to stop all this.

_I‘m sorry, Tony. _

He has a kid coming along. If he doesn’t get better, how is he going to take care of his own child? Peter is dead, just like half the universe. There’s just no other way to say it, and he needs to move on. 

But Rhodey comes in, his arms folded and eyeing them both. 

“See, nothing blew up.” Tony says, raising both his hands in surrender. 

“I see that.” Rhodey nods to Steve, half glad because he was done playing messenger for Natasha. “You should head down, Steve. Carol’s here – most of the guests are – and we should be starting soon.”

“Yeah, Capsicle. Go save yourself a seat, and figure out if the Princess can really sing or else we’re going to have a bad time later.” Tony waves him down, their conversation forgotten. 

Steve only smiles. Tony did get more verbal when he was nervous. “Yeah, alright. Consider it my wedding gift to you. Good luck, Tinman.”

* * *

The wedding is beautiful.

They hold it by the lake, and have Pepper hiding in the basement where Tony’s been storing most of his work so that he could go down without her seeing him. It’s kind of comical really, but Rhodey gets it done before any of the Avengers can mess things up. 

Almost everyone is there, with exceptions. Okoye’s been adamant on sticking to Wakanda, despite Pepper’s kind invitation having never met. Thor hadn’t responded back, and Clint...

His invitation still sat on Natasha’s desk back in the Avengers compound. She had no reason to find him, even for this.

They don’t have a flower girl or ring bearer, and it’s honestly a quiet, small ceremony with the few of them. Some of the guests are from Stark Industries, and others Isabella doesn’t recognize, but they all sit by the lake together. Rhodey officiates the marriage, because apparently, he’s ordained and at this point, it doesn’t really surprise any of them – he’s been sort of running this whole ceremony. 

Natasha still kind of tears a little when she sees Pepper full on sob after saying ‘I do’. Pepper fully blames it on hormones, but they know better – Tony’s very charming when he can be, and Pepper’s been his one constant for years. She’s seen them for a good decade and Tony and Pepper had the type of relationship you knew would last forever. She’s come a long way from seeing love as a distraction, and watching her friends get married just did something on her, because despite what they’ve gone through, they still get to share moments like this. 

Beside her, Steve smiles softly. He’s been watching her closely since Tony said his vows, and her happiness for their friends made him feel warm inside. With Tony’s forgiveness, he was at ease at the beautiful ceremony they were witnessing. 

“You may now kiss the bride.” Rhodey grins.

The Avengers whoop and cheer when Tony dips Pepper slowly, kissing her in front of their friends. Even Nebula cracks a tiny smile. Pepper’s still crying and her makeup’s half ruined but she’s still a vision of beauty, so Natasha doesn’t get mad that her hard work has gone down the drain. 

Then it’s time for the reception. They opted for lunch, because Pepper’s always tired at six months pregnant, and she honestly didn’t want to make their guests wait too long.

Isabella starts to feel anxious now. She’s promised Pepper she’ll sing one of her favourites. They’ve never heard her sing live before, and she hadn’t exactly practiced for months. Maybe she’ll sound horrible. Or she’ll have a panic attack and ruin a great day. 

Steve grabs her before she can get the mic from Rhodey, who’s giving an elaborate joke that only Carol seemed to be laughing at. “Break a leg, Izzy. But don’t fall on stage and actually do that.”

It does calm her down a little. “Oh Steve, if I sound bad, will you create a distraction for me?”

“I think if you really do, Natasha’s going to force everyone to smile and clap anyway.” Steve grins. 

“And then I said, ‘Boom! Are you looking for this?’” Rhodey finishes, and Carol gives a tiny laugh. The rest of them has heard this one before, that even Bruce smiles weakly at his attempt. The rest of the crowd loves it though, and Steve merely shrugs – he’s heard this one too many times to count.

“Ok, enough chatting. The Princess has a very special gift for the couple today. Isabella?” Rhodey asks, smiling widely. He always saved that story for a great audience. 

Steve gives her a little nudge, and she runs forward to take it. Yeah, she can do this. Izzy looks down at the small crowd of what’s left of them, strangers and friends alike, and smiles. “Pepper said she loved this song a lot, and it’s the only song on the list that I’ve actually heard before...”

“She’s too young to be here.” Tony complains jokingly.

“But it’s a beautiful song, and my parents loved to play it at home.” Isabella finishes, and Natasha gives her two thumbs up for encouragement. She’d be emotional if she wasn’t also looking at the world’s happiest couple, so she opts for a tiny smile. “So, congrats on the marriage!”

She nods at the band Rhodey has hired, and they accompany her on the gorgeous piano. The opening notes of Etta James’ _At Last_ floats in, and Isabella takes a deep breath. She can do this. 

_At last, my love has come along_

Natasha smiles softly, watching Isabella transform up on stage. Her voice is angelic and sweet, and it sounds so warm on this beautiful day. Tony leads Pepper to the centre of the room, and the two sway to the music, Pepper beaming up at Tony. They look like they’ve forgotten about everyone else, and it’s so heart-warming to look at.

The crowd start to gather around the couple, with their own special someone, except for the Avengers. First dances were always so beautiful to look at, and as the song continues, Tony and Pepper are in a world of their own.

Then Rhodey offers a hand to Carol, who accepts it graciously, and they slow dance by the side. It’s probably something new, or just friends, but Natasha does raise a brow.

Nebula and Rocket refuse to get in on that, but even Bruce thinks it’s only right they move a little. It’s very funny considering they’ve never danced before, so the trio just stand by the side, feeling very awkward. 

Steve finds Natasha, her lips raised into a smile as she listens to Izzy sing. She looks absolutely stunning, her lips painted red and her dress a less daring shade, complimenting her red roots of hair, braided into sections and pinned up. He stops by her side and asks politely, “Would you like to dance?” 

“You can dance?” She asks back, one eyebrow raised as she smirks. 

“I just need a partner.” He replies, his hand outstretched towards her. Natasha glances back to Izzy again, who’s making her way slowly through the song, enjoying herself. 

She takes his hand. “You need a teacher.” She corrects, a soft smile on her face.

He’s clumsy at first, taking tiny steps because he doesn’t want to step on her delicate heels. But she guides him through it, firmly placing his hand on her waist, and smirking even more when he blushes. “You need to hold your partner like you mean it – rule number one.” 

So, he has one hand on her waist, and the other gently embracing her back, ignoring the fact that he’s touching the skin of it with her daring low-cut dress. “Okay.” He says, eyes still staring at their feet.

She removes her hand from his shoulder, and tilts his head up, cupping his chin. “And rule number two: don’t stare at your feet. It just looks like you’re staring at my boobs.”

The moment she says this, his eyes shoot up and he blushes an even deeper red. “Nat...”

She laughs, her hand returning to his shoulder. “Rule number three: just enjoy this, Steve. Let the music guide you.”

He does. They sway to the rhythm and enjoy Isabella’s beautiful singing, and the song’s melody. The Princess could sing, and Tony would be happy to hear that. It makes him slightly proud, and relaxes him enough to properly admire Natasha. Her eyes are a blazing green, and she’s put on more makeup today. Maybe it’s the way she’s peering up at him through her eyelashes, but he swears he’s completely entranced by her. 

“Got something on your mind, Rogers?”

He doesn’t realize that he’s staring at her lips. “Nope. It’s nothing.”

But he’s feeling a little bolder now. “You look beautiful today.”

“Only today?”

“Everyday.”

“You’re a smooth one, Rogers.”

“You know what, Romanoff?”

She beams back at him, and he’s feeling daring enough to give her a little dip as they sway, her arms around his neck. She laughs, and it’s his favourite sound in the world. “You’re getting better at this.”

“Well, I had a great teacher.” 

_And here we are in Heaven_

_For you are mine at last_

If anyone notices how close Steve and Natasha are, nobody mentions it. But as Isabella closes the song, she sees her guardians in each other’s arms, and feels warmth inside her.

They had so much more to live for, with Pepper and Tony’s baby coming, after this gorgeous day with each other. 

They’ll get _better_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thank you for all the kudos, hits, and love :) It's still a little mind boggling to write an entirely new character, but I like the way it's progressing.


	3. t h r e e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Carol will. Nat, maybe... there’s nothing you can monitor here.”
> 
> Silence. “Steve...”
> 
> “Remember in Ohio? In that stupid motel with the rats? You said in another universe, we would have settled down. And then I said we could do it here.”
> 
> “I was joking–”
> 
> “I wasn’t.”

** _Seven months after._ **

A few weeks after the high of the wedding, Rhodey finds Natasha and tells her about Hawkeye. 

Clint Barton hasn’t backed down.

The body count increases, and Isabella knows Natasha’s tracking it. She always waits until their weekly session with the other Avengers are done, before she excuses herself to talk to Rhodey one on one, leaving Izzy to listen to Carol’s stories about her trip on whatever planet she’s on. It’s a good distraction, using Carol, but Izzy’s smarter than what Natasha gives her credit for.

After all, her guardian’s still the Black Widow, and she’s learnt to be observant under her care. 

If anything, she doesn’t push about Hawkeye, because that’s how they talked about things around the Avengers compound. It’s come to become their home, and they had a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. 

But the months don’t go easy when Clint Barton is murdering more frequently than before. She sees Natasha in the gym one day, punching the bags until her hands are sore and bleeding through the tapes. 

“Tell me about his family.” Izzy says softly from behind when Natasha finally takes a breather, rewrapping her bandages for round two on the bags. 

“I think I’ve taught you to be too sneaky now.” Natasha mumbles, joking slightly. She eyes Izzy’s serious expression, then sighs. Grabbing her drink, she leads her to the mats, and they sit. 

“The first time I met Laura, she gave me a hug.” Natasha frowns, shaking her head. “Nobody’s trusted me like that before. In S.H.I.E.L.D., it took months before they trusted me enough to go out on the streets to buy my own groceries.”

“She told Cooper to come meet his aunt Nat.” She says, eyes shining. “I had never been an aunt before. Cooper was so young then, I don’t think he remembered.”

“Lila came next.” She chuckles, the memory fresh in her head. “He nearly didn’t make it back in time. His ego, sometimes, is comparable to Tony’s – only in the field though. I had to lead a team to extract him, and even then, he had a broken wrist.”

“So, he had two kids?” Isabella asks gently. Clint Barton wasn’t someone she pictured to have children.

“No, the third one came after Ultron. Nathaniel was supposed to be a her, and you can guess who he was named after.” Izzy had never seen Natasha so vulnerable before, and it was saying something. The redhead’s tears stayed stubbornly in her eyes though, afraid to be let go. “Clint’s been my family before the Avengers, and for him to lose his children and wife? I feel it too. I get him, I know why he’s out for blood. But this isn’t what we were meant to do. We can’t go on a rampage just because of our emotions, it’s exactly what the Accords were there for.”

“If I wasn’t here, would you have found him?” Dread in Isabella’s voice; she’s still not entirely used to being with people like the Avengers. They had jobs to do, and she’s imposing on them. 

“I told you before, no.” Natasha whispers, watching her closely. “None of this is your fault. Clint didn’t want me finding him, and I have to respect that. It’s what we do.”

Izzy doesn’t know Clint Barton at all. She’s never talked to Hawkeye, or shook his hand like she has to Tony Stark or Captain America at public events. But he’s out there, creating trouble for Rhodey and the military, and causing Natasha to feel so worried and helpless. 

She doesn’t really have a good impression of Clint Barton.

As if Natasha can tell, her guardian speaks. “Don’t do that to him, Izzy. He’s... he’s having a hard time. You know my story. I’ve killed more than you think.”

“But I know you, and you’ve helped me get through this.” Isabella holds her hand tightly, warmth flooding her. “I don’t judge the past.”

“Then don’t judge Clint for his present.” Natasha presses a hand on her cheek. “It’s not in your position to, Isabella. You’ll understand this some day.”

Izzy frowns, wishing she could see it in Natasha’s standpoint, but she’s not an Avenger. She’s barely even a Princess, at this point. If it pleases her guardian, she will try. “Okay.”

They don’t talk about Clint Barton again.

* * *

** _Eight months after._ **

Pepper and Tony have a baby girl.

Little Morgan is healthy, and _perfect_.

It’s the little bit of joy they share, the first good news in a long time since the snap. They coo and smile at the tiny infant, still too young to recognize faces, and there’s not a dry eye in the room.

Even Carol gets a picture. She’s too busy to come back down to Earth, but from the “awww” they get in her message, they know she’s thrilled too. Nebula and Rocket claim they aren’t excited to see a human baby, but they still end up sending Tony a heartfelt message from wherever they were.

“She’s gorgeous, Pepper.” Natasha smiles, and Steve nods beside her, his arms around her shoulders. Isabella’s not one to pry, but she’s noticed they’ve been a lot closer since the wedding. Given that Steve’s still living in Brooklyn but makes the trip to the compound too often enough, she’s not going to comment on their growing relationship just yet.

Pepper smiles faintly in response, tired from labour and just dealing with Tony for the entire twelve hours. She cradles Morgan for a moment, then offers the baby to Natasha. “Morgan, come meet your Aunts.”

“Me?” Natasha asks, astonished. Izzy remembers her story, Clint’s family and how Nat felt about children, and feels for her guardian. 

“You, and the princess.” Tony pipes from the other end of the bed. “Unless Rogers wants to be an Aunt instead of an Uncle...”

Steve and Isabella look to each other, surprised. If Izzy’s as giddy with excitement and gratitude as she’s looking now, Steve must have been ten times happier. She coos at baby Morgan, who looks up to her blankly in Natasha’s arms. “I’ve never been an Aunt before.”

“Thank you, Tony.” Steve says, his eyes shining. If this was a sign that he was forgiven, he’ll take it. After the wedding, he needed the confirmation that Tony trusted him again, and for him to bring them in for Morgan’s birth? 

He couldn’t be happier for Tony. 

And seeing Natasha look so content with Morgan in her arms makes his heart swell ten times more. She’s such a natural with the baby, gently cradling and rocking her. There might be happy tears that he blinks away when he sees how happy she looks, and he’s never been more in love with her right now.

“Of course, the Godfather title goes to me.” Rhodey smirks, flaunting his title. 

“Natasha, I’ve always wanted to ask you to be her godmother.” Pepper says carefully, and Izzy realizes she’s holding her breath, watching Natasha carefully. She knows the story about Clint’s kids, and she doesn’t want her guardian to feel sorrow that she felt all those weeks ago at the gym. 

“I’d love to.” Natasha beams, holding Morgan closer and thanking Pepper. Steve’s practically radiating pride at that, and Isabella was sure she was rivalling him with how happy she was too. Natasha deserves every bit of this, and she knew Morgan was going to have a colourful childhood. Every Avenger lining up to protect the little girl? She’s the first Avenger kid, and definitely the one everyone will look out for.

She never thought that they would make it here, months after the snap, after everything was lost. The gang was almost back together again, with the exception of some. 

Clint’s still MIA. Thor? Uncontactable. He does send some booze and a note though, signed by Valkyrie and not Thor. Something about New Asgard, and settling down on Earth. At least Bruce comes, but he’s not who they expect to show. Instead of the absent-minded _human_ scientist, Bruce comes as the Hulk, if the Hulk wore shirts and talked like he had seven PhDs.

It doesn’t help that Steve nearly decks Bruce the moment he steps into the room, pushing Isabella into Natasha’s arms and frantically yelling for Tony to bring his wife and kid somewhere safe. Rhodey thinks about becoming War Machine for a tensed few seconds, and even Tony’s ready to fight.

“Hey guys!” Hulk? Bruce? says, unaffected by the outburst. It’s comical, really, with a worried Steve and the Hulk in shorts and shirt all ready for a summer vacation. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Natasha mumbles, checking on a still shell-shocked Izzy, who’s starting to get giggly at the sight.

“Yeah, I revamped my look.” Bruce grins, gesturing at his look and it’s such a confusing sight that Steve actually takes a step back, more anxious than when he thought the Hulk had decided to show up instead. “The Hulk and I? We decided to come together.”

He smashes his hands together, beaming. _Hulk smash_, Izzy thinks. “Both brains and brawn! We’re unstoppable.”

“That includes wearing shirts?” Tony asked from the side drily. Pepper had Morgan back in her arms, and she was quite done with the Avengers’ antics for the day.

“Dude, you can’t just show up like that and expect us to be cool.” Rhodey sighs. 

“I think you look great, Bruce.” Izzy adds from the side, and Natasha shushes her playfully.

“Thank you, Princess!” Bruce beams, and she wonders where Banner has been all these months to be still calling her a princess with such respect. Holed up with this pet project of his, no doubt. “Hey, anyone seen Thor?”

“No.” Someone called. He’s a god, so it wasn’t that strange. 

“Oh, Valkyrie said he wasn’t doing really well.” Bruce slumps on the closest seat he can find, nearly destroying the hospital couch when he sits down on it. It would be funny to Izzy if Natasha hadn’t placed a warning hand on her arm. “I thought he’d show for this at least.”

“Valkyrie? The one on the note.” Steve recognizes. 

“Yeah, she’s a cool lady. Helped Thor out when his sister blew up Asgard.”

Just like that, the mood in the room turns sombre. They’ve all gone through different stages of grief after the snap, but Thor... Thor has been around for centuries. He’s not use to failure and loss like they were. _I went for the head._ He still felt the guilt and regret that none of them could comprehend, because there were just limits to shared life experiences. They realise he’s gone through more than them, coming from the loss of his people, his _home_, and now this.

Then Morgan gives a little cry, and suddenly everyone in the room is on their feet, but it’s Pepper who speaks from the hospital bed. “I think she’s just hungry. I’m starting to feel a lot like a cow.”

Every single man in the room was looking at the child with such intense worry, Natasha doesn’t resist a smile. “Moo. Come on, guys. Stop your overprotecting stance, Steve. Morgan’s going to be so spoiled.”

“Hey, only I am allowed to spoil my daughter.” Tony complains, shooing them out starting from Rhodey and Bruce on the couch. “Ok, you heard the lady. Get out.”

* * *

“You’re hopeless at cooking.”

Maybe if Isabella wasn’t rushing to take out the burnt chicken from the smoking pan, she’d nod and agree with Steve. Natasha wasn’t known for her cooking skills, that’s for sure.

“You’re saying this like it’s a bad thing.” Natasha says as she helps Izzy, eyeing the blackened chicken. 

“It _is_ a bad thing!” Izzy giggles, dumping the chicken onto a plate. It’s charred and minutes away from becoming black charcoal. “We need to order pizza for dinner again.”

“What’s this, the third day in a row?” Steve teases, as Natasha dumps the entire dish down the trash, already reaching for the take-out menus. “Nat, it’s okay to admit that you can’t cook.”

“Maybe if we didn’t have a princess who’s never stepped foot in a kitchen before...”

“Hey! I’ve baked before!”

“How have you been living before this?” Steve laughs, stopping the two from their bickering. 

“Take out.” Izzy replies pointedly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Natasha buries her head in her hands. “Just get the menus.”

Steve comes over more often.

It starts off slow, and Steve still has that support group, and that apartment in Brooklyn. But he comes for dinner nearly every other day, and he cooks so they can take a long break from take-out seeing that Natasha can’t cook and Isabella’s equally hopeless.

Sometimes he stays overnight. 

While Natasha’s secretive and harder to read, Steve is an open book. He had a museum exhibition on Captain America, for crying out loud. It’s not hard to see the infatuation in his eyes, and Isabella knows he’s not here to see her, even though she now gets spoiled with so much food.

She doesn’t mind it, the Black Widow and Captain America. The Russian spy and America’s golden boy. It’s a little harder to see if Natasha cares as much, but Isabella knows she does. She sees her guardians get closer, and she knows Steve’s not taking his old room. 

They’ve gone on the run before, and were partners in S.H.I.E.L.D., that Izzy knows. Life after the snap, and she wants Natasha to be happier, be healing like she was. For Steve to move on from his guilt over his friends. They were her guardians on paper, and her new family in life. 

Nine months on, and she wants them to live as she was.

It happens one night; they’ve been doing a whole movie marathon on the Pitch Perfect movies, because Steve said he hadn’t seen any, when Izzy closes her eyes in the middle of the third one. It’s a long sequence, and she doesn’t need to see the Bellas dance and sing their way out of some ship anyway. She’s very nearly on the edge of slumber, when Steve speaks. 

“You don’t have to live here.” Steve’s voice is low against the film’s loud volume.

“Where would we live?” Natasha’s softer, and Isabella barely managed to listen in.

“You can live with me in Brooklyn.” He mumbles. 

“Your apartment is tiny, Steve.”

“Then _we’ll_ get a bigger one.” Isabella doesn’t miss Steve’s slip up.

Natasha’s not too sure. “Izzy–”

“Iz stays with us.” Steve’s nothing but persistent, his volume increasing slightly.

“Nobody will monitor what’s going on in the universe.”

“Carol will. Nat, maybe... there’s nothing you can monitor here.”

Silence. “Steve...”

“Remember in Ohio? In that stupid motel with the rats? You said in another universe, we would have settled down. And then I said we could do it here.”

“I was joking–”

“I wasn’t.”

Isabella felt bad eavesdropping, but she wished she could see Natasha’s reaction to that.

Then a sigh, some ruffling and shifting on the couch and Nat’s speaking. “I’d be lying if I told you right now that I wasn’t interested. But we have Izzy now, and half our friends are dead. We will never have it all in this universe, Steve. Not here, not ever.”

“You were the one who told Isabella ‘we have what we have when we have it’. I’m telling you now that we can do this. Yes here, and yes now. Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.”

“Then trust me on this.”

More shifting, and Isabella is positively sure Steve and Natasha are kissing on the couch right beside her. It’s very awkward, and she wishes she never eavesdropped on this, but a part of her fights the urge to smile. She knew this was building up for a long time coming.

“Back in the base, we were uncertain of so many things. Nat, I know it’s been rough, but we’re at peace now. Thanos is dead. We have a chance to think of ourselves, and not the world for once.”

More shifting, and Izzy feels sleep tugging on her, but she struggles to keep herself awake and listening. She needs to know what Natasha will say. 

“I don’t know where this will take us. But yes, Steve. Not like back at the base. We try for _real_ now.” Natasha says after a beat, panting. 

You know I will.” Steve replies, his voice low but full of warmth.

Then the movie shuts off and it’s only when Steve’s lifting her up from the couch does Isabella let herself drift off to sleep.

* * *

** _Nine months after._ **

Isabella learns to dance again.

It started as something Natasha wanted her to do, to find a hobby to pass the time. She was getting worried; she didn’t want Izzy to waste the day away with no fixed schedule. To Isabella, she just didn’t know what she wanted yet. She couldn’t see herself going out to work, or back in school. At least, not yet. She had only known how to be a Princess, and how to deal with events and schedules fitting for one. 

Izzy leaps in her sautés, soars in her grand jetés, and spins in her pirouettes and fouettés. She remembers the feeling of freedom, letting her muscles melt into curves and the music guide her. It’s almost muscle memory, learning how to dance like she did when she was much younger. 

She feels like a twelve-year-old again, a tiara on her head but no weights on her shoulders. 

It’s not just her – Natasha dances like she’s born to do it. She would make the ballerinas weep in shame at how graceful she moved, as if floating on air. She was one of those dancers that commanded the music, and demanded all eyes on her. 

Natasha teaches Izzy to dance again, and to love it. The discipline, the control; she was addicted to the feel of it. But watching Natasha? It’s breathtakingly gorgeous, and she sees the side of her she once saw when they first met.

“You dance the way you fight.” Isabella smiles, passing Natasha a towel the moment she lands on her two feet, the music fading away in the background.

“No, I fight the way I dance.” Natasha frowns, removing the ribbons on her pointe shoes. “That’s why they taught me ballet in the first place.” She shakes her head, shoving that thought out of her mind. She’s not teaching Isabella to fight. She’s teaching her how to get her mind off things, to channel her free time into a hobby.

“Really? Well… Then I guess you could always teach me how to use a gun now.” Isabella grins, holding up her right hand and gesturing shooting, but it’s only met by silence. She knows the moment she sees Natasha’s face fall that she’s said something wrong.

Natasha freezes for a moment, her playful mood clearly gone, then slowly lowers Isabella’s hand with her own. The Princess isn’t supposed to be doing this; she’s a teen, and even though Natasha had no control as a child when she was taken by the Red Room, she has the control to stop this now. “No. That’s dangerous.”

It’s the glint in Natasha’s eyes that makes Isabella falter. Maybe she’s gone too far now, even though her question was just purely casual and she doesn’t understand why Natasha would react so coldly to it. She wouldn’t ask her again, not now, but maybe later. 

Why wouldn’t she let her learn how to defend herself? She was useless during the battle against Thanos’ army in Wakanda, and even at the UN charity gala she was relying on everyone else. If she had a little target practice, she’s sure it wouldn’t go down too badly. 

She doesn’t press Natasha though, maybe she’ll ask Steve next time.

But Ballet also makes Natasha remember her past, and not long later, Isabella finds herself in the studio, dancing alone. Steve came down sometimes – he was living mostly in the compound now, and had more of his things here. She still hadn’t talked to either of them about this growing relationship of theirs.

“Izzy, you need to find something else to do.” He says gently, just as she dipped into a grand pilé, on the third day Natasha had excused herself from their planned session. 

“I’m fine, Steve. It’s just a hobby.”

“Natasha’s worried.” Steve stops her, and she rises, stepping away from the barre. “She thinks dancing isn’t a good way to pass your time.”

“Why?” Ironic, considering she had suggested it.

He rakes a hand through his blonde hair. “How much of the Red Room has she talked about?”

“They danced there.” She remembers their conversation in the kitchen so long ago. “But dance isn’t harmful.”

“To her, it’s a weapon.” His eyes darken. “They danced as a cover, to make it look like it was what they were training for. Behind closed doors though, they were learning how to be the best assassin.”

To Isabella, she was fiercely protective over Natasha, and living with her for the past months before Steve made her so. But she never saw Natasha skip so many of her schedules and plans, or even dinner, and she had done so twice in the week alone. While dancing made her feel like a child again, perhaps it was doing more harm than good for Natasha. 

“Natasha has nightmares, Izzy.” Steve frowns. “We all do, but Natasha... I don’t think she’ll be back here anytime soon. I can’t stop you, of course.”

She knows about their nightmares. She still gets them, sometimes. But Natasha never let it get to her, or Izzy has never seen her get one. She’s always there to make a cup of hot chocolate or warm some milk if she had a bad one though. She even set F.R.I.D.A.Y. up to warn her if Izzy woke up sweating, or yelling through her dreams. 

“Isabella, maybe it’s time to think about going back to school.” Steve says gently. It’s what he wanted to ask all those months ago, on her birthday, but Natasha made him promise not to do it until they got better, not until after Izzy was looking healthier and happier. But now she was restless, and wandering around the compound looking for hobbies like ballet and learning how to fight? It was hitting too close to home for Natasha. 

Isabella thinks about it. The world was rebuilding. There were schools, half filled with students, teaching faculties with half strength. She’s not afraid of that, learning was second nature to her, and she liked knowledge. It’s something she never had the luxury to gain, with her duties and traveling. 

Except that going back to school meant that she was officially moving on. The old her would still be a Princess, either on diplomatic visits, or visiting charities. She had been delaying this for so long simply because she still couldn’t separate herself from her past. And she liked staying in the compound. Even with nothing to report, she liked seeing Nebula, Carol, Rocket, Okoye and Rhodey. She liked hanging out with Natasha and Steve, even if they had their own plans and would sometimes slip out on their own. 

“I don’t know what grade I’m in. And I don’t know how American school works.” She says honestly, licking her lips. She doesn’t, and that might delay her admission for a while.

“They’ll help test you. I’m sure you’re very intelligent.” Natasha says, entering the studio. She’s dressed in her dance attire, but the dark rings around her eyes tell a different story from her light tone. 

“Is this because I’m Asian?” Izzy jokes, but she’s glad to see her.

“No, because you’re the smartest, most annoying teen I’ve ever met.” Nat quips back, amused. She meant it; even Wanda was hardly ever this cheeky. “Tony’s had an eye on some high schools around here. He wanted to transfer Peter Parker – Spiderman, but then he turned down being in the Avengers.”

“Turned down?” Isabella echoes doubtfully. “Who does that?”

“There are always stakes involved.” Natasha explains, glancing over to Steve. It was one of those moments. Peter Parker was dead, and Tony blames that one on himself. “It doesn’t matter. We can go school hopping, if you want.”

“Do I have a say in this?” Izzy asks her guardians, feeling a little conflicted.

“Yes, but I know you. You’ve been restless lately.” Natasha frowns. 

“But... who’s going to stay with you when Steve’s home in Brooklyn and I’m in some boring math class?”

Steve snorts, amused. “Natasha can find her own activities.”

“I can take care of myself, Rogers.” Natasha rolls her eyes, dismissing him.

“I know you can.” Steve smiles. It’s one of those moments when he had those heart eyes Isabella tried hard to avoid, knowing they were still hiding this from her because they valued their privacy. But her guardians share a look briefly, and it takes all of Izzy’s willpower not to just reveal her own secret. She doesn’t have to, because Steve tells her gently about their blossoming relationship. “Besides, I’m staying in the compound for a while… Um, Nat and I, we–”

“Are dating.” Isabella says, deadpanned. 

“How did you–”

“I wasn’t really asleep during movie night.” She admitted, avoiding Steve’s embarrassed eyes. 

Natasha on the other hand, only smirks. “Eavesdropping now?”

“It’s a common space.” Izzy argues, her own ears reddening. Then, she smiles and reaches for Steve’s hand. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks, Iz.” He’s practically beaming, and she meets Natasha’s eyes, green against dark brown. She’s gotten to know Natasha better in these few months, and she knows her guardian was feeling happier too. 

A lot of happy surprises this month, she thinks. A glimmer of hope rises in her chest, and she sinks back into the leather seats of the car. They’re getting better. A lot better. Steve and Natasha were starting their relationship, and she had them. Okoye had Wakanda, and from her stories, she was doing well. Carol, Nebula and Rocket flew around the universe, and Rhodey around the globe. Tony and Pepper had Morgan, and even Bruce was finding happiness in his scientific achievements that she never understood. 

She doesn’t think of the others – not Clint Barton, or Thor. She tries not to think of that.

Most of them, but not all.

“How does pancakes for lunch sound?” Steve asks, after a quick peck against Natasha’s hair, relieved that they were out of hiding. They seemed to think that pancakes were the universal meal for any occasion.

“Pancakes, then we settle the school.” Nat nods, bring back their original topic, and Isabella follows a beat later, apprehensive.

* * *

“That didn’t go so badly.” Steve mumbles, his hands occupied with Natasha’s hair. He liked playing with her blonde tips ­– she hadn’t thought of cutting them yet, but maybe she won’t now.

“What was she going to do, hit you?” Nat laughs into his chest. “She’s more observant than you think.”

They lie in silence for a few moments, until Natasha spoke up into the darkness again. “You told her about the nightmares.”

It comes out as a statement, not a question, but Natasha’s not mad. In a compound so large only occupied by three people, it was only a matter of time. She gets them pretty regularly– it’s practically a routine after so many years.

“She’s very active in dancing lately, and I know you don’t like it when she follows what you do...” Steve mumbles against her head, landing a soft kiss on the crown of it. She lets him continue playing with her hair, now around her shoulders in curls, the dark red roots bleeding out into blonde tips. 

“She asked me if she could learn how to fight.” It comes out as a whisper. “Steve, when I said we should take her in, I didn’t consider that she might want to do what we do.”

“She looks up to you.” He says, turning her around and pressing his hands on her cheeks, holding her. “She’s just restless. School will be good for her.”

When she stays quiet, he frowns, worried. “Nat, what’s up? Is this about Clint?”

“No.” They both know he’s never going to come out of hiding. “We always have nightmares, Steve.”

“I know.” He whispers, concerned. “But you’ve been doing so well. Nothing triggers you as badly as your past. I know this because we were there together after Wanda probed your mind.” The witch did bring out a few unwanted memories, and had since apologized, but he knew Natasha didn’t like to appear weak.

“I’m not going to give you bonus points for being observant.” She sighs, rubbing her temples. “If Isabella wants to dance, she can. This doesn’t change anything.”

“Yes, it does, because now I don’t want to see you hurt even more than before.” Steve clasps her hands, and then leans forward to kiss her knuckles gently. “Promise me you won’t keep things from me.”

“Steve...”

“You don’t think I’ve noticed? Who did you contact from your past?”

“No one.” Natasha looks right into his eyes, and he doesn’t know whether to believe her. She’s always been the better liar. “You’re being paranoid. Who will I call? Everyone we know is dead, otherwise we wouldn’t be living like this.” 

It stings, but he forces himself to trust her. “You’re right, I was just worried.” He furrows his brows together, letting go of her hands to caress her cheeks. “I’m not going to pry, but promise me you’ll at least tell me if Clint contacts you, okay?”

“Of course, Steve.” She lets him lean his forehead against hers, until his lips are inches apart and she claims it, ending their conversation. 

* * *

** _Ten months after._ **

School takes up a lot of her time, but Steve and Natasha are right. It keeps Isabella’s mind off things, makes her feel less jumpy in the compound, and most of all, it makes her feel normal again. She enters as a Sophomore, even though she’s slightly older by a year and definitely way advanced in terms of her basic education. It helps to keep her identity by faking her age, and made sure she had enough time to get used to the system, considering she’s entering right smack at the end of the school year. She could wait a little and enter the next year as a Junior, but the Principal said she could take things slow like this.

She’s made friends, and none of them really dig into her title. In school, she’s just Genevieve Lim, and not Princess Isabella Genevieve Kim-Lim of Caydia. Nobody knows, and she doesn’t put on the make-up or tiara like in televised events, so it’s not hard to disguise herself in the crowd of students anyway.

It turns out that she’s smart enough to skip up to a Senior, despite missing several levels of schooling while she was a Princess. This fact only amuses Natasha a lot, but Izzy’s not too worried, she wasn’t going to like catching up to graduate either. 

_Graduation._ That’s the plan. Steve reminded her over and over again that this was her choice, and they weren’t going to push her. But he’s right, she needed to find something to occupy her, just to move on, even if school was just a temporary relief. 

Between monitoring the galaxy with the rest, and having a relationship, her guardians were plenty busy. They didn’t need her on their hands in the compound. Izzy stays in school more often, giving them time to themselves, and throwing herself in whatever club activities there are. 

The snap left so many children alone. Some lost parents entirely, and the American government spent the months entrusting children in orphanages or immediate relatives. It’s not enough, it will never be; the trauma of losing a parent, Isabella knew too well. So, she spends her time helping them, even if it’s just reading the little one stories, or helping the older kids on their homework. It makes her feel needed, and for the first time in months, she’s completely content with what she’s doing.

“You spend a lot of time in school.” Natasha comments, just her and Isabella for dinner today. Steve still did that support group he was doing, and it was nice to have a little alone time with Nat anyway. They’ve found a quiet diner that had reopened after the snap, and it’s been a weekly affair lately. “I told you we’re fine with having you around.”

Isabella explains about the orphans, and how she wishes she could do more. “It’s not that I’m avoiding you and Steve, but... not everyone was fortunate enough to have two Avengers willing to be their guardian.”

Natasha chews on her fry, thinking. “Well, Steve said I should talk to you about that. How do you feel?”

“About you and Steve? It’s very cute.”

“No, Princess.” Natasha scoffs. “About us being your guardians.”

“You’re the best guardians I could ever ask for. I love having you around.” Isabella says truthfully, shocking both herself and Natasha. She smiles at her guardian, who mirrors it back. They are certainly not strangers anymore, and she thinks about her life now. 

She’s feeling so blessed and whole, the best she’s felt after everything has happened.

“Tell me more about the orphans.” Natasha says softly instead.

“The group was started by the school, when the government was taking too long to settle down. Most of them have homes now, just not the type they are used to.” Isabella frowns. Not everyone had the luxury to find a house for themselves. Parents who lost their children in the snap weren’t very willing to become foster parents. Either the pain of losing their own, or the trauma of learning to let go stopped them. 

“I didn’t have a good childhood.” Natasha says, looking at her closely. Isabella knew her story, and even if it’s just bits and pieces of it, she knew more than before now. She thinks of the broken in pointe shoes back in the studio, of the nightmares and the forbidden shooting range she wasn’t allowed to enter without supervision. 

Isabella reaches over to grab her hand, which Natasha does take. Some things you don’t have to mention, at this stage of their relationship.

“Children are fascinating. You can train them, but they always have instincts adults don’t have. They can tell who’s good or bad, and they learn the best young.” Natasha continues, thinking hard. “You’re doing a great job with them, just showing up and volunteering is amazing.”

“I just wish I could do more though.” Izzy sighs. 

“You know, I was going to find out more ways to volunteer. The Avengers don’t need any guidance now, and I guess no one will be getting away if Carol’s going to be jumping around the galaxy every few months.” Natasha says casually, sipping from her milkshake. “Maybe I could go over.”

“You will?” Isabella’s eyes light up in surprise and excitement. “We’d love to have you over! I mean, I could ask around–”

“On one condition.” Natasha interrupts. “We can’t let anyone know our identities.”

Isabella’s not even going to argue. She’s been enjoying anonymity, and she knows how much Natasha hates to be in public spotlight – that was all Steve, and after the UN hearing they weren’t having any problems with the press. “Of course.” She smiles, nodding. “Nat, it’s going to be fun.”

Natasha laughs, seeing her eagerness; the Princess was literally made to be a royal, with all the goodwill in her heart. Then she shakes her head, and steals a fry from Izzy’s plate. “Eat up, Princess. We need to get back before Steve sends out the Avengers to find us.”

* * *

“Aren’t you the cutest baby? Yes, you are! Oh yes _you_ are!”

Morgan giggles, and Natasha launches into another round of baby talk. The little girl smiles now, and that’s all they’ve been doing – getting her to lift her tiny lips into a beam. Isabella does have to admit, that’s one cute baby.

“You sound horrifying.” Tony says, deadpanned. 

“She could kill you with one finger.” Isabella rose to her guardian’s defence.

“No one will kill anything today.” Pepper scolds, and immediately Isabella feels sheepish. They always had these brunches, but without Steve – Nat and him weren’t up to telling the rest yet, so they kept their relationship a secret. Isabella’s not surprised – being around Tony Stark for some time and she’s also aware of his painfully witty tongue. 

She hadn’t really thought she’d be talking to Stark, but here she was. Not to mention he really was a genius; no one needed to know that she could get mentoring from Tony Stark. 

“You see Steve lately?” Out of the blue, Tony asks. 

Isabella turns her head to hide a smirk that’s forming as Natasha shrugs. “He comes around often.”

“We should grab lunch one day. Enough of this brunch nonsense. Am I right, sweetie?” Tony grins at Morgan, who’s fussing over the lack of attention on her. She smiles again when Tony tickles her, and Natasha took the chance to eye Isabella properly. 

“Sure. But I’m not calling him.” She says finally, a slight warning to her tone for Isabella.

They don’t want Tony finding out yet, not until they settled this and waited to see where it was going. Otherwise they’ll never hear the end of it.

Isabella only smiles. “I’m sure Tony will find a way.”

* * *

** **

** _One year after._ **

Isabella wakes up to darkness. 

Her bedside clock tells her it’s four in the morning. It’s still pitch-black outside, but she can’t close her eyes. Today is the day, and she doesn’t know if she’ll be okay.

A year since the UN gala. A year since her parents passed away in a fiery explosion that she escaped. 

It’s going to be one of those days. The one Natasha’s worried she will go back into, the first month after moving back to New York and into the Avengers’ compound. Isabella lies in the dark, trying not to be alone with her thoughts, but memories of that night flash through her mind anyway. It’s pointless to block them out.

She’s crying before she knows it. Too many tears, too many regrets. She can’t ever get over this, not even after every month when she thinks she’s getting better, thinks the world was moving forward. 

“Ms Romanoff has been alerted of your increasing heart rate, your highness.”

F.R.I.D.A.Y. comes to life out of nowhere, and Isabella feels betrayed. Great, the A.I. sold her out. At least this time, she has the warning to wipe her tears away and throw her covers back. 

She lies perfectly still, attempting to slow her breathing out. If she can fake sleeping once, she can do it again in front of the spy. Why she had to hide this from her guardians, she wasn’t sure. She just didn’t want them to worry. Her door creaks open, and Natasha, quiet and quick as a spy, is by her bed before she knows it. She lets her chest rise and fall in slow, even breaths, even though her nose feels congested and she’s pretty sure her cheeks are still damp. 

Instead, Natasha quietly slides into the bed with her. Everything reminds her of her mother today. It feels almost like she’s eight and back home in Caydia, having sleepovers with her mother; if she shuts her eyes and pretends, she’s back home. It’s not a tight fit, not on this luxurious bed, but it does bring in some warmth. Like a child, Izzy rolls over to Natasha, and clutches her, desperately seeking comfort.

“Shh.” The redhead whispers, letting her clasp her hand. “In the morning, ok?”

_In the morning. _

It’s a lot better than sleeping alone. She wonders where Steve was; Natasha probably made him stay where he was. She nods, feeling sleep tug on her as her heart slows down, dozing off with the comfort of her guardian beside her.

* * *

Natasha lets Isabella sleep in for today.

She was right about Steve being overprotective; right on the dot at eleven, he enters the bedroom tentatively, concern clouding his features. 

“I got worried.” He whispers, soft so that Isabella wouldn’t wake. But Captain America was never good at that, so she does stir a little. 

“I know. But I can’t really...” Natasha trails off, gesturing with her one free hand. The other was firmly grasped by the Princess, using her as a safety pillow. Glancing at the clock, Natasha speaks in a voice that’s not her lowest, matching Steve’s volume. “Although it’s getting quite late...”

Izzy stirs again, rolling face first into Natasha’s chest, before blinking and bouncing away, only to back up into Steve. Izzy shoots out of bed, sitting upright and glancing around her surroundings. Sleep shakes free from her, and she starts to remember last night, with her cuddling the spy like a Koala and acting like a five year old. She closes her eyes once more, reddening. “Oh god.”

“Good morning.” Natasha says, hand on her back. She doesn’t tease, and she looks down worriedly as Isabella. “Feeling better?”

“Yes.” Izzy says truthfully, rubbing her eyes. She had better days. “You didn’t have to stay.”

“I like cuddling.” Natasha grins, as Steve presses a light kiss to her forehead as a good morning gesture. 

Izzy giggles as Steve turns and wraps her in a bear hug. It’s kind of his thing lately, and she appreciates it on a day like this. 

Natasha rolls her eyes, whacking the said man, who protests slightly. Then, ever so lightly, she shrugs. “Wanda was like that too.”

Isabella didn’t quite know Wanda, but the witch was one of the last few she saw before the snap. It’s not a good week for them, with the year anniversary creeping up on them. She knows Steve and Natasha have people they’ve lost too – the Avengers, the team... they were all feeling it.

“Pancakes for brunch?” Steve says instead, pulling them out of their thoughts. He seemed to think pancakes was the world’s best comfort food, even if Natasha was more of a waffles girl. 

“With ice cream.” Isabella nods. She doesn’t mention about her nightmares. They can get over today, and tomorrow, and go back to their lives. “Cuddling?”

“If you tell anyone, I’ll have to kill you.” Natasha responds seriously, but Isabella’s grin is too infectious that she ends up smiling as Steve leads them all out. 

It doesn’t get better throughout the day, no matter how her guardians don’t leave her alone. It’s like her mind refuses to let her forget. She’s been going months without the memories, and today it’s just been a day she wishes would end sooner than later.

Everyone’s feeling it, and nobody switches the television on. They have school off for the summer break, something Americans typically had later as Izzy learnt, but because of the anniversary, it’s been called a holiday. Nobody feels like reading the news, or checking their messages.

Some flowers come for her from Caydia – Izzy’s always liked their President, and she’s almost relieved he wasn’t taken too. It’s lilies, beautiful and fresh, and if she breathes deeply, they almost smell like home. She misses it so much, but it brings back too many memories, and she couldn’t have that, not today, and not ever. Natasha helps her put them into a vase of fresh water, and displays it right in the centre of their dining table, where they go to every night. A brief hug is all she offers; she knows Isabella will talk if she needs to.

Then they waste the day away doing more movie marathons. Only feel good ones, so comedy, musicals and cartoons, none of those aliens or action-packed ones that remind them too much of their own lives. It’s funny how much of their lives are like movies, anyway. She’ll have to see if Hollywood’s interested in doing one. 

They almost make it to bed without having to talk about it. She would never have lasted through dinner, anyway. There’s just so much you can avoid when it’s sitting right there in the room, the flowers suddenly too bright for comfort and her thoughts too loud for her own mind. 

Steve decides enough is enough when Izzy starts nibbling on her pasta with the look of pain and sorrow one shouldn’t have when eating his cooking. “Isabella, I’m sorry today’s been so tough.”

It’s an invitation to speak, and Izzy knows it. She frowns into her plate, avoiding their eyes. “Don’t be. I’m just... I’m fine. I’m not five, I shouldn’t be crying.”

“I think someone once told me it’s not ok to pretend everything’s alright.” Natasha nudges her gently, prying the fork away from her hand. She hasn’t really been eating, anyway, more like twirling the pasta and pushing her food around. “I know it’s hard, but you can tell us anything. Wanda was like that. Do you remember, Steve?”

He nods. “Losing her twin was bad... it took a while before she opened up.”

Isabella thinks of Wanda Maximoff, the only one left of her family. It’s the pain in Natasha’s eyes that reminds her that Wanda was gone now. “In a lot of ways, Wanda was young. Sometimes, these things can’t be controlled.” Natasha says softly, eyes shining. “But we were always there if she needed to talk. And right now, we can be for you too.”

It took a lot for them to talk about the fallen, and Izzy appreciates it. She looks up, at her guardians, then to the centre of the table where the lilies were. Bold, beautiful, and she only feels guilt. She could at least tell them how she was feeling. “I’m supposed to be in Caydia. By their graves, at least. But I’m here, avoiding them because... because I can’t go back. I’m just running away from my problems, right?”

Fat tears fall at that, and she does little to wipe them away. She buried them there, and then left because she didn’t feel like staying, abandoning her duties and her own blood parents to mope around in America with the Avengers. A pretty shitty Princess and person, if you thought about it. The only survivor, and she chooses to throw her life away for a new one. 

Natasha looks over to Steve, who knows he should handle this one. He’s felt the same, sometime after waking up from the ice. Knowing that his friends and family were gone, but he’s somehow awake in the twenty first century. He should have died in the crash, and maybe he did. The man who came out of the ice isn’t the same person all those decades ago, the one who was hopeful and had dreams of having a life with Peggy and even continuing his friendship with Howard Stark.

He was guilty that he had outlived all of them, including Bucky who he couldn’t save. 

Now? Bucky was gone again. They all were, but he’s here. Survivor’s guilt doesn’t get better even after years of living.

“No, don’t say that. You’ve made your decision, and you don’t have to feel obliged to always be in Caydia. Your parents would have understood.” Steve says gently, clutching her hand from across the table. “Think of it as moving on, and not looking behind you.”

Natasha dabs her sleeve on Izzy’s cheeks, wiping away the stray tears. “You don’t have to blame yourself for not going back.” The spy smiles softly, a hand on her cheek. “When the time comes, you can head back and we’ll be there for you. Like Steve said, it’s not your duty, and I’m sure they’ll be proud of you either way.”

“It still doesn’t take the guilt away, though.” 

Steve feels bad. He really does, because he gets it more than he thought he would. Natasha didn’t exactly remember her parents, and he recalls their conversation at the church after Peggy’s funeral when she found their graves. But for him, he still remembers his mother; even after her death, he couldn’t help but think that he could have done more when she was still alive. 

“When I was young,” He begins, capturing Izzy’s attention and even Natasha looks up, “My mom was all I had. She died when I was barely a teenager. It didn’t stop me from feeling guilty because I wasn’t the easiest child to handle. I was always sick, and I got into all sorts of trouble. Bucky was always pulling me out of messes.”

“That’s because you’re so damn stubborn.” Natasha grins, and he chuckles, shushing her.

“After the ice, I wanted to know what happened to her grave, and to all my friends. I never had the nerve to do that until after the Avengers and New York happened though. It just never felt right, that somehow I was still alive with a second chance at life, but they had all left without seeking closure with me.” 

Steve pauses, glancing over to Natasha. He’s never told her about this. They both know what happened after New York – Fury assigned her to him, with Barton recuperating (or so he thought at that time, he was clearly at the farm). It’s one of his fondest memories of Natasha, her short, curly hair, and the most apprehensive frown on her face. It took some time to warm up to her, and likewise for her to accept him as a partner. She thought Fury was crazy for pairing her up with Captain America, and essentially becoming his babysitter, but in the end...

She smiles at him with a faint sparkle in her eyes, teasing and loving at the same time, and he knows. 

In the end, it became something special. And years later, she’s sitting there with him and Isabella, the biggest hope in his life.

He breaks their moment, glancing back to Isabella. “Trust me, it takes time. Decades for me, if you count the ice. But sweetheart? You don’t have to feel guilty for what you can’t control. You have so much more to live for.”

Izzy smiles back at him, and then laughs. “Did you just call me sweetheart?”

“Yes.” He frowns. “Is that not okay?”

“It just...” Tears well up in her eyes. “My father used to call me that.” Her new guardians reminded her so much of her own parents today. 

Before he can apologize, Natasha pipes up, “Izzy, he’s old enough to be your great grandpa.” 

“I know.” She giggles, and then clutches his hand. “I’m really happy you told me that, Steve.”

“Any more embarrassing childhood stories to share, grandpa?” Natasha smirks.

“_Great_ grandpa.” Steve corrects, rolling his eyes playfully. Still, he gathers the plates away, half eaten or not, they’ll be having some deep conversations tonight. It helps a little, and he’s listened to Izzy open up, so even if they did do a museum on him years ago, she deserved to know about him as well. “So, when I was thirteen, Bucky dragged me on a double date with him. The girls were two years older than us – don’t ask me how he even found them.”

“Wow, older women? Even when you probably looked eleven?”

“Nat, we were in the Great Depression.” He sighs, amused. “I probably looked like a nine year old.”

“Bet you still sounded like a grandpa.” Isabella attacks cheekily. 

“Do you want to hear the story or not?” Steve asks exasperatedly, puffing even more. 

They spend the rest of dinner like that, and he tells them all about Bucky and his mother. About Peggy, the war, and the little moments he missed. Things he would absolutely _not_ miss, like how food was horrible in general. No wifi. He ignores the nagging voice in his head that tells him life was simpler before, and if he could live through that, he wouldn’t have felt the pain and loss of today. One look at Natasha, and the feeling of regret fades away.

Isabella listens, and the little voice at the back of her mind tells her that yes, her parents would be proud. A year doesn’t change anything. She’s still here, and so is half the universe. If they get to stay, they should move on. Do this every day. _Live_.

A year later, and they will learn to move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did put up the tags for Steve/Nat, didn't I? :)


	4. f o u r

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s been more than a month.”
> 
> “What has?” He asked, more confused and anxious than ever. Natasha doesn’t panic, not even when she has several men trailing her. Not even the time when they realised that Fury wouldn’t be sending any backup and they were hopelessly outnumbered in Egypt.
> 
> “Steve, I’m trying to tell you that I’m late.”

** **

** _One year, one month after._ **

“You could come visit us.” Isabella says, her elbows pressed on the table and her hands on her cheeks. “It’s been so long, Carol. And Summer’s not going to last forever.”

Isabella’s been having her Summer break, and although Steve encouraged her to find a part time job while waiting for school to resume, Natasha thought differently of that – they didn’t want a whole situation with the press. She’s perfectly fine with that, so she sat in their weekly meetings, usually bored and chatting to the team after their updates.

Steve’s with Natasha, and they had Rhodey elsewhere on the line. Usually she’d be concerned, but Steve’s there, and all Clint activity usually has him calming Nat down. Bad news or not, her guardians tell her if they wanted to. She knows they meant to use the call as a distraction as she chats to Carol, Nebula, Rocket and Okoye. It’s fun, and she always spends it encouraging them to visit, because there’s always so much you can do in front of a screen. They’ve grown unusually closer, from all these updates and banter, that she doesn’t mind.

“It’s not, huh?” Carol answers, amused. She liked spending her time with the gang, it was a nice break from her activities. “Maybe sometime next month.”

“Earth’s not too bad.” Rocket agrees. He and Nebula had stayed on a little at a time with the Starks.

“I like Taco Bell.” Nebula shrugs from behind Rocket. Usually she would pop out of the blue in their holographic calls. “We should go on down again when Denvers goes.” 

“You could come stay with us! Instead of Tony’s cabin. It does look kind of small.” Isabella presses. 

“You always sound like Nat and Steve don’t pay you enough attention.” Okoye laughs. She was due for a visit, too. Wakanda was getting back together, even without a functioning royal family, but the people were at least achieving some sort of normality again. 

“I’m bored of them.” Isabella replies, laughing, and then she feels Steve’s strong arms wrapping her from behind, and she squeals.

“Bold words, Princess.” He feigns anger, mockingly squeezing her tightly as she tries to wiggle out of his grasp. 

“You’ll kill her, Steve.” Natasha rolls her eyes from behind. “Are you done talking about us while we were gone?”

“It was all good talk, promise.” Izzy smiles knowingly.

“Done with Rhodey?” Carol asks. It was always pleasant to see the three getting along so well. It made her feel slightly lonely, being away from everyone, but she’s not eager to get back to Earth, not after the snap anyway.

“He had to go for some important matters, but he said that you should come on down here sometime to stay so he could show you around.” Natasha eyes her pointedly. They weren’t blind from Rhodey and Carol’s growing friendship. They had slow danced at the wedding, and Natasha hasn’t even grilled her friend on that yet.

“He did not say that.”

“Well, she paraphrased it but yes, he did.” Steve confirms, his arms still wrapped around Isabella in a bear hug. 

Carol’s lips twitches. “I’ll see when I’m available. You guys coming?”

Rocket glances over to Carol, then the empty screen where Rhodey should be. “Nah, Nebula and I are good. We’ll be away next month.”

Even Okoye seemed to get the hint. “I’ll catch up with you guys another time too, I’ve been busy here in Wakanda.”

Isabella claps, oblivious. “Great! Carol, you can stay in the guest room next month. I’ll do up a great itinerary! Earth’s changed a lot and you’ll want to visit every p–”

Steve stops her, covering her mouth with his hand. “I’m sure Rhodey has a plan.”

“Rhodey? But I– oh.” Isabella nods in understanding. Then, she grins. “But you can still stay here!”

Natasha laughs. “I think she got it, Iz.”

* * *

The reason why Rhodey left? 

They’ve been tracking Clint down, and the military was fairly certain that they could catch him. It was a tricky one, because Barton was murdering all those gang leaders and wanted criminals, even if he didn’t have any orders to do so. 

“Be careful.” Rhodey says, mostly directing it to Natasha, but he does look right at Steve. “Keep yourselves out of this mess. If he’s caught, they might prosecute him for murder.”

Natasha folds her arms, worried. “And if he’s not?”

“Then he’ll continue down his path of destruction.” 

Steve keeps one hand pressed against the small of her back, a calm presence. He knew how much Clint meant to her. Natasha’s not sure, and she straightens, moving from Steve’s touch. “Are you sure they don’t know who he is? It could be anyone. Or just a rival gang.”

“They don’t, but _we_ know it’s him.” Rhodey watches Natasha carefully again. “You know very well that he’s been avoiding all our calls. But I can’t turn a blind eye while he goes on this rampage, it’s my _job_, Nat.”

“I know.” She sighs, slumping back down. She can’t let Clint continue this road of destruction, either.

“What’s your plan now?” Steve asks. He hated seeing Natasha look so down, but Clint’s his friend – and he didn’t want things to go badly.

“Well, I have eyes on the team sent down to track him.” Rhodey grimaces. “It’s not going to be pretty. Their orders are to kill on site if he doesn’t cooperate.”

Natasha grips the table top a little tighter, and Steve notices her tensing up. Still, he rubs her back comfortingly, and lowers his free hand to gently place it one of hers. It’s intimate enough for Rhodey to look, but he doesn’t say a word. “Thanks, Rhodey. Will you update us?”

“Of course. I’ll see you next week. Say bye to Isabella for me.” 

Then he disappears, and they are alone back in the dimmed room. Steve clutches Natasha’s hands, glancing at her worriedly. “Nat, it’s going to be fine.”

“I can hack their database, find out where they are headed to...”

“No.” Steve stops her, kissing her forehead gently. “Tasha, you heard Rhodey. You could get in trouble with this one. A _lot_ of trouble. I know Clint means a lot to you, and he’s my friend too – but if we go for him, Isabella will be affected. And you might be giving him away. If they know it’s Hawkeye causing all this, you know the punishment will be worse when he’s caught. We got the Accords removed, and if they reinstate that, it’s going to be a big disruption. You’ve seen Izzy when they made her testify. This isn’t just about us anymore.” 

Natasha frowns. She knows that. She knew that right from the start when Rhodey first came to her with the news on Barton, and she still decided to sign the papers for Isabella. But she hadn’t expected herself to be this attached, and as it seems, neither did Steve. They thought of plans for Isabella, keeping her safe from all the problems because they wanted her to live as normally as she could after the snap.

A decade ago she wouldn’t have let this happen. But a decade ago, none of this would even come close to what they were going through now. 

“Promise me you won’t track him. If Rhodey comes back with nothing, we’ll let it rest, okay?” Steve all but pleads her, reaching over to cup her face and rubbing his thumb in a soothing motion on her cheek. He needed her to promise him on this one. “He’ll come back when he’s ready. You know how much he worries for you, too.”

Natasha glances up at him, at his concerned blue eyes. She knew Steve meant well. A part of her thinks that Clint will get away, because he’s as much of a trained spy as she is, and he could take care of himself against the authorities. But she worries for him, because this isn’t what Clint does. He’s killing left and right in rage and seeking revenge, and it’s not something Hawkeye does. 

She wishes she could talk to him, even for a few minutes. To let him know that he has a chance to come back, to stop all this. Help her with the Avengers. Do good elsewhere without all the blood. 

She would persuade him to join her, like how he did all those years ago in the rain in Budapest. 

But Steve’s right, and she’s not in the position to put Isabella or him in jeopardy. Even if she went out looking for him, she wouldn’t have anything to say to him about his family. To her, his pain of losing Laura and the kids hurt her almost as much as it did to him. 

This alone is enough to stop her. She can’t stop his rampage if she didn’t have anything good to offer him.

So she looks back into Steve’s eyes, and leans up to land a soft kiss right on his lips. “I promise.”

* * *

** _One year, two months after._ **

At this point, Isabella’s got to start hanging out with single people.

Carol finally decided to head down to Earth, and they were touring New York. Izzy’s never really had a proper tour before, and Carol hasn’t been down in decades, so they were having a great time hitting up Central Park first. Then Rhodey shows up and he and Carol hit it off right away, walking ahead of her. Not to mention that Natasha and Steve were somewhere behind them, pretending to give them all space, but really, Isabella knows they just wanted the space themselves. 

Leaving her awkwardly in the middle of the two pairings. 

At least Tony and Pepper didn’t come with Morgan. If they did, she’d be the babysitter. And then she’d really think twice on hanging out with the Avengers.

She’s about to walk up ahead to catch up with Rhodey and Carol (it was better to talk to them instead of intrude in Nat and Steve’s alone time), when someone comes up to her, tapping her on the shoulder. The girl looks familiar, and Isabella winces, before quickly pulling a straight face – it’s definitely someone from school.

“Hi! Genevieve, right? Thought I saw you around in school!” Mystery girl smiles. 

“Um, yeah.” It took her a second to even remember her cover story, being two months out of school. Oh god she doesn’t know this girl’s name.

“It’s Ivy! From math? With Mr Jenson? I sit behind you.” 

Still no clue who she was, but at least she has a name. “Oh, yeah.” _Please go now._

“Fancy seeing you here! Are you alone?” Ivy asks, persistent. 

Isabella’s five seconds from running away, wishing the girl would go now. She’s not exactly a friendly person in school, and it’s fine with her – being close with someone would get them questioning her real identity. She doesn’t have many acquaintances, let alone friends there, and it’s for that reason.

“I’m with my... my parents.” Isabella smiles flatly, hoping Ivy would take the hint that she doesn’t want to talk about it.

“They’re alive?” Ivy asks, and Isabella’s eyes darken. She’s nosy, but understandably so. A year after the snap and they talked about it lightly in conversations. It’s how everyone else coped, but for Izzy, it makes her wary.

“It’s complicated.” Isabella says truthfully instead. 

Ivy doesn’t notice her hesitation. “Oh... I’m here with my cousins, they came from New Jersey. But then I thought I recognized you and came over to say hi!”

“Izzy?” Steve comes up behind them, and Isabella winces. She better not recognise him, or she’ll never shut up. 

“Hi, you must be Genevieve’s parents! Nice to meet you.” Ivy doesn’t even mention Steve’s slip up, and she all but beams at Steve, then Natasha, and quickly glances back at Steve. Isabella’s _Asian_, for crying out loud. And Steve’s America’s golden, _white_ boy.

Then Ivy stares for a while, her frown deepening. “Do you model?”

“Huh?”

“You look familiar.” 

Natasha fucking _laughs_. “Hello. Are you Genevieve’s classmate?” At least she remembers her cover name.

“We have math together!” Ivy says happily, distracted again. “I should go. See you in school, Genevieve!” The girl runs off before Isabella can say bye, leaving her dumbfounded and confused. 

“Parents, huh?” Steve blushes. He still couldn’t get that model comment out. “I’m also sorry I nearly gave you away.”

“She was annoying.” Isabella rolls her eyes, but she’s turning pink too. “Wouldn’t leave.”

“I thought the whole point of school was so that you could make friends?” Natasha questions. She’s not mad that Isabella’s classmate called them her parents; it’s better that way than to recognize Steve as Captain America and uncover the Princess’ secret. 

“No, it was so that I could find something to do so that you and Steve could have your time alone.” Izzy grins, and Natasha whacks her lightly on the shoulder. 

“You should make some friends, Izzy.” Steve frowns. Hanging out with the Avengers wasn’t something he’d want for a teenager. “Someone else your age.”

“Is this because you’re a hundred?”

“Isabella.” Natasha scolds. “Be nice to the elderly.”

“Oh ha ha.” Steve frowns. “We’ll have this conversation later. But we should go find Carol and Rhodey.”

They find them all the way ahead, sitting on a bench and waiting for them. Rhodey groans, complaining. “What took you so long?”

“Met a classmate.” Isabella explains.

“Her classmate thought Steve modelled.” Natasha supplies playfully.

“I’m not surprised.” Carol says drily. “You three look like a family, did you know that?”

“Why does everyone say that? I’ve already been mistaken as her mother today.” Natasha says lightly. She’s already been through this; the Princess was her responsibility, but in no way her child. No, she’s a teenager, and in charge of herself. She was simply the caretaker.

“You’re way too young.” Isabella agrees, linking arms with her guardian. She likened Natasha to be a sister, at least. She never had siblings before, so was this how it felt like? “You can be my older sister.”

It falls so easily off her tongue, and Steve smiles at them, particularly at the pleasantly surprised expression from Natasha. She’s never really had someone to call a sister. Part of her expectations on Isabella to find friends in school came from her own experience of having only the Avengers as her family. 

“Also, Steve has to finally date Natasha for that to work.” Rhodey grins widely. He’s been seeing them so close lately, it’s no surprise if they were secretly dating. Isabella smirks, while Steve looks away, blushing. He’ll give it away if he kept this up.

“Am I allowed into this sisterhood?” Carol laughs, because Izzy’s linking arms with her too. The men can wait today; she has had enough of them. 

“Only if you stay on Earth more often.” Isabella grins. 

* * *

** _One year, three months after_ **

** **

The days get easier. Maybe because she’s on vacation, but she feels lighter, almost free. Natasha does too, and Steve’s always mirroring what Natasha feels these days. They were so good together, Isabella hadn’t thought about what happened before. 

They celebrate Steve’s birthday alone, considering Carol’s out with Rhodey and Nebula, and Steve didn’t want to make a fuss so none of them really knew. America was a mess of red, white and blue, with fireworks displays everywhere, and Isabella figures that yes, only Captain America’s birthday would be on the Fourth of July. She’s not one for American holidays, and neither is Natasha, but they still do a good job rubbing it in for Steve. 

“This makes you what, two hundred?” Isabella teases, helping Natasha figure out the best way to place the massive number of candles on their stack of blue and red pancakes. Maybe Nat’s gone overboard with them, but it’s still fun to see Steve barely twitch an eyelid at the jokes. 

“It makes me a lot older than you, so have some respect.” Steve frowns, but even he can’t keep the smile off his face long enough. He takes out five candles from the stack, even with Natasha’s protests. “You’ll burn the whole place down, Nat.”

“We already tried baking that cake and it didn’t, so calm down.” She replies, grabbing the candles back anyway. They don’t go back on the stack of pancakes they made because the first attempt at the cake had turned out horribly (burnt cake, anyone?), but she still lights one of them. 

“Happy birthday, soldier.” Natasha grins, lighting the ten stable candles in the pancakes with that one candle she was holding, and blowing it right in his face. 

“Happy Fourth of July, Steve!” Isabella adds, bouncing on her toes as she angles her new phone (she got one from Tony a month ago), snapping a few shots. 

Steve smiles at the two girls – his girlfriend and the Princess, and blows at the candles before they start to melt all over the top pancake. The flames disappear in an instant, and he turns to receive a kiss from Nat, and a hug from Izzy. He doesn’t get to celebrate his birthday often, not after going on the run, but this one will be in his top few, he thinks. 

“Thank you.” 

Natasha smirks as she snakes her free hand to his back pocket, pulling him closer. He’s inclined to lean towards her, anyway. “It was fun.”

Isabella nods in agreement. Burnt cake aside, they don’t celebrate much in the compound. They don’t celebrate anything, really. Not anymore.

They cut into the pile of pancakes, but he knows even with his metabolism they would have leftovers. And with every bite, Natasha seemed to be inching her way closer to him. She’s practically about to sit on his lap now, at how close they were sharing the dining chair. It seemed a little inappropriate, with Izzy sitting across them, but she places one hand delicately on his lap, and it’s driving him insane. 

When he looks over, she’s meeting his eyes, a teasing glint behind her emerald orbs. She smirks, then leans in to nuzzle her head on his shoulder. 

Isabella still seemed oblivious, finishing the last of her pancakes, but maybe Steve’s not hiding it as well as he thought. When she’s done, she stands and hands Steve a small wrapped gift. “I’m going to head to bed soon, so here’s my present.”

“At nine?” Natasha asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“I, um,” the Princess blushes. Was it too obvious if she just wanted to leave them alone? “Happy Birthday, Steve!” She settles instead, ignoring Natasha’s smirk.

“Thanks, Iz. Can I open it?”

“Yeah.”

He does. It’s a framed photograph of him and Natasha, from some Stark party they used to have all the time at the Avengers tower. He remembers Maria Hill taking it, and Natasha’s wrapped her arms around his torso, her eyes twinkling – she might have had some vodkas to drink that night. They look young and vibrant in this photo, and it’s way before they even had feelings for one another, but the innocence made his heart ache. It’s a perfect photo, and he feels a rush of emotions looking over at it, because those were the days when they didn’t have so much to think about, when it was just the six of them. 

“It’s perfect, Izzy.” Natasha says before he can, touching the frame gently. She remembers the photo clearly too.

“Pepper helped me find it. She said I could ask F.R.I.D.A.Y.” Isabella smiles, receiving another hug from Steve. “I thought you’d like it.”

“You’re welcome, your highness.” The A.I. snuck into their conversation, and then goes silent again. They were used to it by now, and Steve laughs, knowing the A.I. must have been waiting for it.

“I love it.” He grins, hugging Izzy tight with one arm since his other was preoccupied around Nat. 

When he releases her, Isabella grabs her plate off the table. “Well, I should go wash up.”

“You can stay, Izzy.” He stops her before she can rush away with her plate. “It’s only nine.”

“The night’s still young.” Natasha shrugs. She’s not too concerned about her present to Steve. 

But Izzy shakes her head. They’ve been exchanging looks the entire night, and she’s honestly not going to think about Natasha’s birthday gift to Steve. “If I have to see you two look at each other with those eyes again, I might puke.”

“You don’t have to look.” Natasha scowls, as Steve laughs and presses a gentle kiss to her temple. 

“Thanks, Iz.” He says as she picks up their empty plates too – it turns out that yes, they can finish a stack of pancakes between them. 

“Have a good night, Steve.” She smirks, giving him another hug. She does the same with Natasha, who accepts it because it’s just what Isabella does. “And use protection!”

Now it’s Natasha’s turn to laugh as Steve blushes, the both of them watching the Princess walk out with her head held high, the stack of dirty dishes in her hand. She turns to Steve, nuzzling her head in his chest. “You signed her papers, you take responsibility for that.”

“Me? She’s only half as cheeky because you’re a little like that, too.” Steve mumbles, looking down to meet her eyes.

“But she’s right.” She says, eyeing him dirtily. “You’re going to have a great night, Steve. _All_ night.”

She tilts her head up to kiss him long and hard and he stifles a moan – Isabella might pop in any moment while they were still in the dining room. Still, the kiss is long and he has an inkling of what she’s going to do to him tonight. 

“You’ll be the death of me, Nat.” He whispers when they part, but she’s already made her way on his lap when they made out, and it makes it easier for him to carry her up as he stands.

She yelps in surprise, laughing a little when he holds her up in his arms, bridal style. “Lead the way, soldier.”

Mmhm. Scratch that, it’s his best birthday _ever_.

* * *

** _One year, four months after._ **

** **

Birthdays at the compound aren’t always joyful though.

When Isabella turns eighteen the next month, she has a decision to make.

She could either go back home to Caydia, or stay in America. Caydia’s legal age was eighteen, and she would technically be free from Natasha and Steve. It’s what the Caydian government would want too, with the Princess returning. No duties yet, but it was a nice welcoming sight for the country. 

But it’s not what she wants. Isabella wanted to stay in the compound. She’s not thinking of returning, not now, or even in the future. Caydia was her past, and it still broke her heart to think about her home when she knew what she had lost from it. 

Unlike Steve’s festive birthday, she decides to stay in her room in the morning. For some reason, Natasha hasn’t come over to check on her, even though she knew she was being monitored by F.R.I.D.A.Y. Maybe her guardians wanted to give her space. She has a decision to make, one she had already made up since staying in the compound, if she’s honest.

She wants to stay. So badly. It’s not just because of Nat and Steve, but for once, she feels like she finally has a life. School, being at the orphanage, hanging out with the Avengers... she’s not just jumping from country to country and held back by schedules. Here, she’s not dressed with tiaras and pretty dresses or posing for official events. She’s just Isabella, and maybe that’s what she wants.

At noon, Isabella steps out of her room. She heads to the main common room, where Natasha would be. Steve might be out for his therapy group, but Natasha usually stayed in till late. 

“Happy Birthday, Isabella.” Natasha smiles from the couch. She’s reading something on her Starkpad, which she places on the coffee table as Isabella plops herself beside her guardian, resting her head on her shoulder. It’s such a natural reaction that Natasha barely blinks. She is, however, concerned about how late it was. The Princess rarely slept in unless she was feeling down. “You alright?”

Izzy nods against Natasha’s shoulder. “Fine.”

“Doesn’t look fine.” Natasha nudges her carefully. She knew what today meant. Eighteen meant adulthood, and after a year of being with Izzy, she admits she’s going to miss being her legal guardian. Isabella was more independent that she gave herself credit for, but she liked to make sure that they knew she was still so much younger, probably in moments like this, with her curled up beside the spy. 

“Hey.” Natasha says gently, a single hand lifting Izzy’s chin. “Whatever you choose, Steve and I want you to know that we’ll always be here.” 

“I know.” Isabella pouts. Once she’s let her guard down, she’s a naturally cute teenager, Natasha thinks. “I’ll just really miss you guys.”

Oh. She was choosing to return to Caydia. Not a problem, but Natasha can’t help but feel a little disappointed. “You know I’ll miss you too.” She says instead, pulling Izzy in for a hug. She really made her soft, this kid, eighteen or not. 

“Remember last year when I thought you wanted to send me home?” Isabella asks, pulling away and resuming her comfortable position against Natasha’s shoulder.

“You were a wreck.” Natasha teases softly. They’ve come so far from the snap, and she truly believed that Isabella was happy now. 

“I was thinking,” Isabella pauses, eyeing her guardian. “About how you helped me. Thank you, Natasha. I wouldn’t be here at this point if you hadn’t talked to me, or signed those papers. I really needed to start a fresh life outside Caydia, and you let me in.”

There are tears in her eyes as she says this. She’s honestly come a long way, they all have. Would she truly be happy in Caydia? She’ll still be a Princess, and she’d be attending all the functions like she used to with the additional responsibility of being the only royal left. But this was why she couldn’t leave, because she can’t go back to that. 

“Shh.” Natasha shushes her, wiping those stubborn tears before they fall. “You think I’ll let the Princess who spoke up for us to Ross stay miserable? I get it, Izzy. You needed the space. And now you can go back feeling a lot less suffocated.”

“I’m not going back.” Isabella stops her, confused. “Who said I was?”

“You said you’ll miss us, and I–”

“I don’t want to go back.” Izzy shakes her head. “I meant I’ll miss you if I do, so that’s why I won’t.” 

She laughs, watching the shock on Natasha’s face. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“How can I? You’ve grown on me.” Natasha smiles, brushing the stray tears off Izzy’s cheeks. She’s cheeky, this kid. A little with that fresh innocence Wanda had before Lagos, before the Accords and Thanos. She also makes her soft, but as Steve liked to say, Izzy brought out the best in everyone. She’d be a fool not to think she could have a happy life for herself, moving past her history. A _family_. The Avengers were the only ones that she has found herself staying for, and they made her better every day. They gave her yet another chance, after S.H.I.E.L.D. went down. She’s come a long way, a far cry from who she once was, and it’s people like Steve and Isabella that make her feel more comfortable with who she is _now._

The spy settles for another hug, pulling Isabella close and kissing her on her forehead lightly. “Happy Birthday, Princess.” 

Izzy beams back, giddy with happiness. She’d be a fool to give this all up. 

* * *

** _One year, five months after _ **

School’s back on track, and Isabella’s a junior now. She still doesn’t take up Steve and Natasha’s advice to make some friends, and ends up being more less amicable whilst still being alone in school. It’s easier that way – relationships mean getting close, and that meant getting asked questions about herself, her home and her family... it’s better to separate herself from the rest of the teens trying to graduate high school. 

It’s not that she’s not proud of Nat and Steve, or the fact that she’s just trying to live a normal life – it’s because she wouldn’t know how to explain it. So it works out, because the less people know about her real identity, the safer it was. 

But her luck runs out, because Ivy from math class turns out to be smarter than she looked. There’s a rumour going around that Captain America had adopted a kid from their high school, and by noon half the school’s making wild assumptions of which grade that kid would be in. The rumour grows, and Isabella hears it at lunch, immediately freaking out. Before she can ditch class to hopefully run back home and never come out again, she’s called into the Principal’s office…

… which was where she was waiting now. Principal Carson was a nice, strict lady that Isabella’s met once when Natasha and Steve enrolled her, and currently she’s looking extremely flustered. Probably because Natasha has on the nastiest glare she’s ever seen, even if Steve looked a little more concerned.

“You’re telling me one of your students suspect Isabella’s identity?” Natasha doesn’t wait, questioning the principal immediately. 

“The rumour doesn’t say anything about her highness.” Carson explains, looking a little apologetic. She had sworn that Isabella’s privacy would be kept, and now it was clear that it’s something she couldn’t control. “Only that Captain America adopted a child here, which is why we called you in discretely.”

“Have you heard the rumour?” Steve asks Isabella. 

“Yes.” Izzy knows she’s not in trouble, but it still doesn’t stop making her few awful inside. She should have just said she was taking a walk alone. 

Sometimes Steve wishes he wasn’t so prominent. But he remembers the girl they bumped into at Central Park when Carol was visiting, and maybe it escalated from there. “Do you know who started it?”

“Ivy Santos. She’s in my math class.” Isabella says uneasily, before Natasha could get angrier. She paid more attention to attendance after that near miss. “She saw Steve over summer break after I said I was with my parents.” 

Natasha’s eyes darken. “And why would she spread that?”

Isabella winces, looking down at her lap. “I’m not exactly the friendliest girl in class.”

“Whatever the case, this isn’t acceptable. Do you think Ms Santos knows who you are?” Principal Carson asks. 

“I don’t know.” She might as well be showing up to class in her tiara now.

“We can do damage control by letting our students know that such a rumour is baseless and might invoke legal action.” Carson sighs. _Teenagers_. She should have gone in the snap if this was what she had to continue dealing with. “Or we could bring Ivy Santos here and get her to sign a non-disclosure agreement.”

“That means she’ll know who Isabella really is.” Natasha frowns, and it’s enough to make Carson freeze. “Is that what your school really wants?”

Carson thinks of the security detail she’ll have to spend money on, and all the meetings she would have to sit through if word got out. “If Ms Santos recognizes her without signing, we will be in trouble.”

“Nat, we’ve discussed this.” Steve nudges her gently. Isabella frowns in confusion; she wasn’t invited to this discussion, it seems. “It’s just one person.”

“Isabella? What do you think?”

With all eyes on her, Isabella shrinks in her seat. “I wouldn’t want Ivy to know, but I think... it’s better if only she knew and no one else did.”

“And the rumour?” Natasha presses.

“We will talk about the legal consequences after speaking to Ms Santos. In fact, we can get her now.”

And so they wait some more until Ivy’s pulled out of class. Isabella doesn’t miss how her eyes widen at the two Avengers. She definitely recognized them both now, and for that Isabella wishes once again she never bumped into her at Central Park.

“Ms Santos.” Carson addresses the newcomer firmly. “What have you been spreading?”

“Genevieve said they were her parents.” Ivy starts, trembling. There are two Avengers in the room – she only recognized Steve Rogers after going home, but now she sees them both and knows that’s Natasha Romanoff. She squints her eyes, looking right at Isabella, who flinches under her scrutiny. It’s like she can’t figure out who she was. “Your name isn’t Genevieve.” She guesses, confused. “He called you ‘Izzy’.”

“No.” Isabella winces again. “It’s Isabella.”

Ivy gasps, recognition on her face as she finally figures it out. “You’re that Princess. From that UN hearing.” 

Too late, Ivy’s looking at her differently. They all do when they realize. Her status was more important than herself as a person. But she looks at her with a tinge of pity, too. Her real parents are dead, and she’s hiding in a high school. How pathetic was that? Isabella avoids her eyes entirely – she’s been avoiding all of them since this meeting started.

“Young lady, you’ve made a foolish decision to start that rumour.” Carson scolds, folding her arms. Ivy looks down from her seat, still trying to comprehend the situation. “You’ve compromised the safety of her highness and our school.” 

“Oh God, it’s true.” Ivy pales. “Am I expelled?”

“No, you don’t say a word about this to anyone. Am I clear?” Carson sighs. _Teenagers._ They liked to do foolish things and regret it later. “We will need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement.”

Her frantic nods aren’t enough for her guardians though, because Natasha’s still slightly annoyed. “Why did you do it?” Natasha fumes.

“Nat!” Isabella shushes her. The last thing she wanted was for Ivy to tell her Isabella’s a stone-cold bitch in school. But Natasha’s pissed, and it shows. She thought maybe Isabella was doing better in school, not using work as a distraction and completely missing the point of making friends. They haven’t been checking in as much and now she’s stuck in a Principal’s office like she was some teenager’s parent. 

And Ivy felt it too. She’s still staring at Isabella. How could she have missed it? With her hair up in a ponytail and straightened, she looks like any normal girl. She wouldn’t have guessed if it weren’t for how televised the Accords were after the snap, and the name that appeared on every news outlet for months. “It’s stupid, but Genevieve’s been beating me in math. I thought I could ask for her help, but she ignored me. She’s been so cold for months, no one really talks to her anymore.” 

Isabella feels awful, avoiding all eye contact from her guardians. She really did ignore her. She’s a bitch in school, and all Natasha and Steve thought was that she was doing well. 

“I recognized um, Captain America, the moment I saw him, but she said they were her parents.” Ivy admits. He’s everywhere, even when they get detention and they show those stupid videos. “Senior year’s coming up, and I guess I was just jealous. I just thought, if I spread something Genevieve will find another school and stop being a smartass in class…”

Ivy stops herself, scared to death. “I mean, I’m sorry, your highness. Uh... do I call you that?”

“Genevieve is fine.” Isabella wishes she could disappear in the moment. This was why she _didn’t_ want to make friends; now she’d be seen as a Princess and nothing more. 

Steve notices her slight embarrassment, and steps in to save her. “We’re sorry about this, Ms Carson. We should have checked.” 

“No, allow me to apologize, sir.” It’s not every day the principal of a high school could have Captain America in her office and him apologizing. “We should have monitored her progress in class, and made sure her classmates were more understanding.”

Isabella’s cheeks turn pink. She hates how she’s in this situation, and Ivy’s still staring. She’s the most problematic teenager in the room now, and it feels like she’s a twelve year old getting reprimanded for bad behaviour. “It’s my own fault. It didn’t seem right to make friends, but I shouldn’t have shut everyone out. Someone will find out; they always do, but I could have tried harder.” She explains softly, flashing the quickest of glances at Ivy, and then back at her hands on her lap.

“Izzy…” Natasha mumbles, but she’s not going to say more with Principal Carson and Ivy in the room.

“Take a few days off, your highness.” Carson suggests, and Natasha nods. She’s not sending Izzy back there until this clears up. “Your teachers will be noted of a family emergency.”

Carson turns to Ivy. “You, stay here. We have more to discuss.”

The ride back home to the compound is quiet, and Isabella’s sure she’s going to get scolded. She’s awful in school, and it doesn’t mirror the attitude she has back home or elsewhere. If word got out that the Princess of Caydia was a stone-cold bitch, she’d be making everyone look bad. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Natasha asks finally. Steve’s driving, and she’s opted to sit at the back with Isabella instead of the passenger’s seat.

“Tell you what? I’ve been fine for months.” Izzy replies, miserable. Maybe the only reason why she was trying so hard at school was to prove herself and to avoid everyone else. There’s no way she can form friendships without the truth coming out, but she forgot that she couldn’t be avoiding everyone until she’s looked at in a negative light. 

“Going to school and being alone most of the time? That’s not healthy. Izzy, you can’t shut yourself out.” Steve helps cut in, because Natasha has that annoyed look on her face like she can’t quite deal with stubborn teenagers now. 

“Last I checked, you’re not actually my parents. I can handle these things myself.” 

“Isabella...”

“I’m fine, Steve.” She says, although her voice is wobbly and she feels disappointed with herself. 

Natasha sighs. She’s not prepared to take care of anyone, and Isabella’s still young, hardened by the snap and everything. “We’re not your parents, but we’re your friends, right? And we still worry.”

“All my life, I think I’ve been alone because nobody wants to be burdened by the Princess. It’s always a security risk, or maybe someone wants to get close just to get their five seconds of fame... It’s never me, you know? They just want something _from_ me.” Isabella grimaces, playing with the hem of her blouse. “And then for the first time, I’m alone.”

“I just don’t want anyone to be hurt by me.” Izzy admits. Everyone she knew was dead or gone. She’s lost more in the past year than most people, and sometimes shutting herself out was better for everyone. 

“Come here.” Natasha finally says, pulling her into a hug. It’s a rare moment, if Natasha initiates any type of hug, so she dives in, squeezing her a little. “You don’t have to feel that way. When you go back to school, just be yourself. You’re a different person now, _nobody_ will take advantage of you. I’ve told you before, everyone needs someone to talk to. Steve’s right, you can’t always stick to yourself.” She eyes her closely, and then suggests, “How about Ivy?”

“She’s a pain in the ass. Just because she knows doesn’t mean I’d like to be friends with her.”

“Just talk to her, Iz. She seemed a little shell-shocked just now.” Steve says from the driver’s seat, smiling slightly. He loved to see Natasha deal with Isabella like that; she was really good with the teenager despite her doubting herself.

“You’re right. I think I owe her an explanation.” Isabella nods. So, she’ll try to be normal at school. There’s still an entire year left until graduation, she should be making the most of it. 

“You don’t have to always be alone, okay? You know I’ll beat anyone up if they hurt you.” Natasha says with a shrug, but it’s still a threat and Isabella knew it. She’s more overprotective than Steve sometimes.

“Would it be fair? You’re a trained assassin and they are just teenagers.”

“Then you better hope no one else hurts you.” Steve calls from the front, but he’s laughing too. 

* * *

** _One year, eight months after_ **

Natasha’s been feeling a little off lately. She blames it on the cold bug going around in the orphanage where Isabella and her have been volunteering at, because those little kids? They touch _everything_ and cough _everywhere_. The Princess has been feeling fine, but Natasha hates how weak and tired she is constantly. Her stomach’s been bothering her a little, and she even cancelled on Pepper’s birthday party for Morgan, who turns one and is still the constant affection of everyone. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go, Nat?” Isabella asks, worried. She’s never seen Natasha looking so sick before; she was almost certain the spy was immune to diseases like Steve. 

“I don’t think I should be passing Morgan my flu.” The redhead replies sadly. She really wanted to see the little girl again. Morgan was speaking a little and attempting to walk everywhere, and this party wasn’t like Stark’s old parties – this time she wanted to go. “Give her a kiss for me?”

“Of course.” Isabella nods, turning to Steve, who hasn’t really left Natasha’s side. 

“Maybe I should stay too...” He mumbles, more concerned.

“Don’t you dare, Steve.” Natasha hisses. “Not everyone has the super soldier serum like you, but I’ll be fine.”

“At least let me get you a cup of warm tea before we leave.” Steve sighs, kissing Natasha’s forehead lightly. She wasn’t feeling warm, and she didn’t have any runny nose or sore throat. It just seemed like an upset stomach that came and went. “It’s funny, you’ve been feeling poorly for too long... maybe we should bring you to the doctor.”

Natasha stifles a laugh. “You’re kidding, right?” Steve only folds his arms, frowning, but he’s right – it’s been at least a month, and this illness never really went away. Through her nausea, Natasha counts down the dates in her mind silently, then raises her head up so quickly it startles Steve, who’s still holding her close enough to notice. Isabella was still checking her phone, waiting impatiently, and so she hadn’t seen anything happen.

“Um, Izzy? Maybe you could wait at the car?” Steve suggests, a hand on Natasha’s back. 

“Ok.” Isabella shrugs. “Feel better, Nat!” And off she went, leaving her guardians in the kitchen.

“Natasha? What’s wrong?” Steve asks, finally alone. She raises one hand, then counts her fingers slowly. Natasha could do anything mentally in her head, like come up with plans on the fly and Steve’s seen her literally store information for missions as if she had photographic memory like him. So seeing her like this made him nervous, because she was still counting _something_, and by the looks of it, she was doing it over and over again. 

“Nat? You’re scaring me now.” 

“Steve, shh. Friday, how long since the last bathroom inventory check?”

“Exactly 54 days ago, Ms Romanoff.” 

A strange question to ask. Steve glances over to his redhead, concerned. “Nat, what is it?”

“Shh, Steve. Give me a second.” 

He’s given her plenty of seconds now. Natasha isn’t slow, not when they have enemies coming in every direction on the field. He has seen her absorb information and do mental calculation whilst they were out and about in S.H.I.E.L.D. He was getting anxious, so he prompts her again. “Natasha?”

“It’s been more than a month.”

“What has?” He asked, more confused and anxious than ever. Natasha doesn’t panic, not even when she has several men trailing her. Not even the time when they realised that Fury wouldn’t be sending any backup and they were hopelessly outnumbered in Egypt.

“Steve, I’m trying to tell you that I’m late.” 

He whips his head around to properly face her. Contrary to popular belief, Captain America was not entirely clueless. “Nat–”

“I’ve never been late, not even when they sterilized me.” She croaks out, fear and panic in her voice. She’s never really tracked her cycle before, and with Steve around, they’ve been more... active. There aren’t many days when she’s been alone with her thoughts, and without missions or threats, she doesn’t really think about trivial things like that.

Natasha thinks it through. She’s late. She’s also unable to have children, the Red Room made sure of that. But the Red Room never thought that their Black Widow would fall in love with the only man in the universe with the perfect dose of the super soldier serum. 

The _self-healing_ super serum. 

Steve’s eyes widen in understanding and surprise. “We need to see a doctor, and–”

“No.” She shakes her head. “Steve, if word gets out that there’s someone else with your serum, we’ll be in trouble. Do you understand?”

Of course he does. They’ve been trying to perfect his super soldier serum for decades, even after he went into the ice, and there’s been deadly consequences. Bruce. Bucky. Thanos or not, they couldn’t let this get out. If Natasha was pregnant...

_Pregnant. _

He’ll be a father. In a world half gone. Rebuilding, but unable to forget. 

Without his friends.

“Bruce. We have to go to Bruce.” He says shakily. He doesn’t need to think about the snap again. Not Thanos, not Bucky, or Sam or Wanda and Vision. 

Natasha is his focus. They move on, and they don’t look back. Rebuilding. 

_Pregnant._

“Steve.” Natasha says, downright terrified as she looks into the blues of his eyes. He doesn’t realise that he’s already holding her hand. 

Instead, he pulls her into a tight embrace, tucking her head under his chin, so close until he can feel the thumping of her heart against his body. “It’s going to be fine. We’re going to be fine.” 

“We don’t tell Izzy.” She says, after a moment has passed. “Not yet.”

“Nat...”

“Not now, she’s dealing with things in school.” Natasha presses, her emerald eyes on him. “Promise me, Steve.”

He does. 

Then they set up a meeting with Bruce through F.R.I.D.A.Y., and she walks out pretending nothing happened.

* * *

Bruce is feeling optimistic these days.

He’s been doing amazing as Bruce and the Hulk combined. Something about YouTube and science conventions and having kids looking up to him. He likens himself as the next Bill Nye the science guy, which makes Natasha grin and Steve stare at the two in confusion. 

“So you haven’t... you know, peed on a test?” Bruce says, after prepping medical at the Avengers compound. It hasn’t really been used for ages, but his lab didn’t have any equipment, and he’s not really a doctor so... this would have to do. He hopes he can do this right, because he’s not trained for this, but he does have seven PhDs, and he has sufficient contacts to do this, so why not? 

“Um, no… but I’m sure it’s not menopause.” Natasha frowns, and then thinks about the increased naps, meals and emotions. “And I’ve been feeling pretty weird lately...”

At that, Steve snaps up his head, looking over with concern. Bruce only nods, then looks at the pair. “So you’re together?”

“Yes.” Steve says.

“No.” Natasha says at the exact same time.

“Uh oh.” Bruce comments, eyeing them closely. 

“It’s just that we haven’t really told anyone other than Isabella.” Natasha explains, but the damage is done. Steve looks awkwardly at his shoes, avoiding her eyes. She ends up holding his hand, and he does smile a little.

“Ok.” Bruce says, unconvinced. He did see them dancing at the wedding, but what did he know? They haven’t exactly met in a while. He prepares Natasha, working some form of gel on her stomach area. Steve tries not to explode with the tension; he was never one for science labs and hospitals, and the sight of whatever fancy tools Bruce had was making him a little jumpy. “Speaking of, where’s the kid?”

“School.” Steve replies. “Bruce, she’s eighteen, not eight.”

“And you adopted her.”

“Became her guardians.” Natasha corrects, feeling the cold sensation on her abdomen. 

“Ok.” Bruce says for the second time, still equally unconvinced. It does settle his doubts about Steve and Natasha at least. They seemed cosier than he had remembered eleven months ago, but again, what did he know? 

After a few moments, Bruce frowns. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., how we doing here?”

“All systems working, Dr Banner. The primary scans are not showing any sign of the foetus. Would you like to restart?”

“Yes, please.” It’s always good to have an A.I. Maybe Tony could lend him one for his lab... but now’s not the time.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks, a little worriedly, still clutching Natasha’s hand. 

“It might be because it’s still the earlier stages.” Bruce suggests, but he’s a little anxious too. He’s not a doctor, for crying out loud. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Still no signs, Dr Banner.” The A.I. sounded slightly apologetic, if it could. “Would you like to get an expert’s opinion? Boss has an obstetrician for Mrs Stark. Highly discrete.”

“Bruce?” Natasha speaks, feeling a different kind of cold from the physical one on abdomen. 

“I’m sorry, Nat. I think we should give it a try. Set up the appointment, won’t you F.R.I.D.A.Y.? Bruce sounds a lot gentler and genuinely worried this time. He passes her a paper towel for the cold gel, and tries his best not to show his fear, but Steve and Natasha aren’t so easy to fool. 

“Bruce, at least tell us what you think.” Steve says, his authoritative tone slipping out. Beside him, Natasha’s clutching his hand a lot tighter now.

“I’m sorry, guys.” Bruce repeats. “But I think... I think it isn’t there.”

“Bruce–”

“The foetus.” Banner says shakily, unable to properly word himself. “I can’t find a heartbeat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I toyed around with this idea for a while, it's going to help if I end up making the sequel I have in mind :) Still a long way to go though, so I hope you're in for the long haul.


	5. f i v e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time, Natasha falters. She doesn’t go back into character, a mask so easily slipped on like she does every time they go undercover and find out something surprising. She properly lets her face fall and it feels like something snaps inside her. It’s that one second that has Steve by her side, that look of recognition that she’s not going to be able to talk about it in front of Isabella. Not now, not yet.
> 
> Because Natasha Romanoff crumbles in front of him and it’s his fault.

Pepper’s OB-GYN has a slot immediately for Dr Bruce Banner and two of the Avengers, so they continue their journey before Isabella’s out of school in a few hours. It’s highly confidential, and not even Pepper and Tony will know. No one, as far as they are concerned, can know about this.

Natasha stays silent the entire ride over, and Steve worries a lot more. She’s never quiet, not even after a mission goes south. In this one, she wears a faraway look, as if she wasn’t in the present, and it scares him. Bruce gives them the space they need, opting to stay behind in case Isabella came back early, but he can tell that it’s bad too.

Natasha doesn’t know what she’s feeling. It’s a mixture of guilt, anger and mostly sorrow. The Black Widow is not supposed to have children. But she thought just for once, they could have a miracle. She's been thinking a lot lately, with Izzy’s news about her school and the orphans. That maybe they could really move on. Be like Pepper and Tony, start a family, and rebuild. Like how the rest of the world was trying to do.

But when could they ever have what they wanted?

Dr Fields barely confirms Bruce’s theory, not before they run all sorts of tests and scans. It’s a long day, and they’ll have to tell Isabella at this rate, because it’s obvious they aren’t going home before she does. The verdict is out: the serum healed, but it wasn’t enough. Her uterus was beyond scarred and damaged to support a child. The pregnancy was a miracle to begin with, and the child was barely a month developed, it’s presence so weak it was a sign of poor growth. 

The doctor says they would have spotted a problem another month in, if it hadn’t ended in a miscarriage already. The baby wouldn’t survive, and if prolonged, the mother would be harmed. Natasha flinches at that, and Steve notices, but when he reaches out to grab her hand, she pulls it away.

She’s not a mother.

Natasha says nothing throughout, except for nodding. She understands. They’ll have to give her medication so she would bleed and end the pregnancy. That, she also understands, so another nod. Does she have any questions? A shake. How about a follow up appointment? Another shake. She’ll deal with that in time.

Steve does the talking, and becomes the rock for them both, even if inside, he’s hurting more than he has ever felt before.

It’s not until she’s back in the car with Steve does she start to cry. Large sobs that wreck her, and makes her body shake violently against Steve’s. She’s never done this before, and it scares him more than he lets on. Still, he holds her throughout the outburst, mumbling into her ear, kissing her feverishly on her forehead, cheeks, and lips. 

“Steve, I’m sorry.” She whispers, the first words said since leaving Bruce. Then she cries softly into his chest where his shirt is already wet from her tears. Still he holds her, struggling to stop his own that threaten to fall. He has to be strong. For Natasha, for himself, and for Isabella back home at the base. 

“Shh, love, it’s not your fault.”

“It is, and you know it.” Natasha says, staring at the row of cars outside the window, in the carpark of the hospital.

“Nat, it’s fine.” He shushes her softly, wiping her tears with his hands, but she flinches away and it scares him so much he doesn’t have the time to feel hurt. 

“No! It could be anyone else, Steve, and yes it would be fine. But you chose me. Steve, I lost a baby. _Your_ baby. I’ve seen you with Morgan and I know you wish you had a family of your own. How can I give you that?” Natasha angrily brushes off the tears that stubbornly flow down her cheeks, refusing to look at his anguished face. She’s a fool for thinking this could work. They had so much loss in this world, and she shouldn’t have taken a risk like this in the first place. 

He doesn’t reply, so she continues. “Still think we would work in this universe?”

This time, he doesn’t have an answer.

* * *

Isabella comes straight home from school to find a Hulk sitting on the common room couch and no Natasha and Steve around.

It’s also then when she finds out that the pepper spray she carries in her school bag does not work on far distances. Bruce barely flinches when she takes out the ridiculously small and pathetic spray bottle that spurts out barely anything into the ground in front of her. She really needs to learn how to fight, or end up being pathetic again like at the charity gala. She makes a mental note to ask Natasha again, although maybe the spy wouldn’t like it.

“I’m not really good with Princesses.” Bruce says, awkward. She thinks back to the first time she saw him bow to King T’Challa, then backpedals because he’s dead and she’s dealing with too many things now to be thinking about the snap today. 

“I’m not a Princess. Not anymore.” Isabella replies, stubbornly shaking her head. “Are Nat and Steve on a dat– um, a mission?”

“I know about your guardians, kiddo.” Bruce looks at her with pain in his eyes. It’s very weird, seeing the Hulk with a shirt, but even weirder looking up at Bruce with that expression on his face. She dismisses it as jealousy – Nat did tell her that Bruce and her were a thing a long time ago.

“Oh. Um, are you looking for them?” She really didn’t know what to say to a Hulk in her living compound.

“No, more like looking after you for them.” 

She groans internally. Figures Steve and Natasha had to get her a babysitter. Eighteen, and still treated like she was a delicate doll. It’s strange how they told Bruce about their relationship though, and usually she would come home to F.R.I.D.A.Y. informing her if they were out instead of seeing someone like Bruce. “Can I get you anything to drink, then?”

“You’re a Princess.” Bruce frowns, confused and still unable to let it go. “I don’t think you should?”

“I’m a Princess in name, not entirely incapable of doing things.” Isabella rolls her eyes. “You could at least call me Izzy.”

Bruce stares at her for a moment, like he wanted to say something more, but can’t. It’s the look in his eyes that she can’t quite read about him, but then he shakes his head, and smiles. “Ok, Izzy. How about we grab some Ben and Jerry’s?”

* * *

Steve’s seen Natasha change into a different person right in front of him countless of times. 

The first time she did it, he was on comms and wasn’t even in the same room as her. They were collecting intel from a club, something about illegal dealings that Fury wanted shut down before it could grow. She was talking about setting up a date for him, when suddenly she stopped mid-sentence, and started flirting with their mark. A total change in character, and it stunned him how easy it was for Natasha to slip into another person entirely.

But she’s a spy, and after years of knowing her, he gets it. Learning to become another name, to slip into someone else’s life? It was her job and what she was trained to do. It saved her many times, and him as well. 

This time, it hurts him more than it stuns him. She doesn’t take a deep breath like he does when they both enter the common room, both their cheeks dry and tears gone. She smiles at Bruce, gives him a wave as if she never saw him just this morning, and then moves on to hug Isabella, who’s sitting on the couch cross-legged with a bowl of half melted ice cream talking to Bruce.

To Isabella, it’s the hug that confuses her. Natasha’s not very touchy in general, especially not with guests around. Also, they just saw each other this morning. She doesn’t just give out hugs for people she meets every day. 

Bruce gives Steve a concerned glance, but keeps his mouth shut. Steve’s very grateful to Banner, especially since he’s wasted a day in the compound, and by the looks of it, kept it a secret from Izzy.

“Where did you go?” Isabella asks, smiling lightly and completely unaware of what’s happening. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Natasha says playfully, masking her pain with a simple smirk. Steve only watches from afar – if he says a word, he’ll fumble. 

Isabella laughs, oblivious. “I didn’t need a babysitter, you’re not my parents.” 

For the first time, Natasha falters. She doesn’t go back into character, a mask so easily slipped on like she does every time they go undercover and find out something surprising. She properly lets her face fall and it feels like something snaps inside her. It’s that one second that has Steve by her side, that look of recognition that she’s not going to be able to talk about it in front of Isabella. Not now, not yet.

Because Natasha Romanoff _crumbles_ in front of him and it’s his fault. 

Bruce sees her face fall, and rises to dismiss himself. Without a word, he gives Nat a hug, lowering down as much as he can with how big he is, and gives Steve a pat on the shoulder. Then he shoots an apologetic look over to Isabella, who’s eyes are wide in shock and worry, reaching over to grab Natasha’s hands. Unlike before in the doctor’s office, she doesn’t pull away, allowing the younger girl to grab it. 

Steve feels a pang of hurt in his chest, and it stabs him over and over like a knife. 

“What’s wrong?” Isabella asks after Bruce has left, slightly scared. She’s sure they were ok. No nightmare was this bad. They’ve been healing, she swears. They’ve had so much time and they’ve been doing so _well_; Natasha wasn’t like this. She’s not someone with so much pain to lose it in the middle of the common room and in front of Bruce, whom they haven’t seen in weeks. Natasha’s not even one to crumble in front of her, not when she heard about Clint, or when she talked about her past. Very little escapes her, and that includes her own tears. “You’re scaring me, Nat. What’s wrong?”

“Isabella.” Steve says softly, one arm clutching Natasha like a lifeline and the other extended to the Princess, a hand on her shoulder. “We need to talk.”

He explains everything. The morning sickness, the speculations. Bruce trying to find the heartbeat. The final verdict. He tries so hard to keep it together, because Natasha has that blank look in her eyes again, and her tears haven’t stopped. They fall down onto her cheeks, and she looked so _vulnerable_ it hurt to watch her. 

And Isabella feels the same. She’s never seen Natasha so lost before, and the tears scare her so much more than she lets on, because she can’t do that to Natasha. Not to Steve, either. He’s been talking the entire time, and Isabella silently follows along, her own tears falling as she listened. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They were supposed to get better. They move on and they rebuild and they fucking get _over _that stupid snap. They weren’t supposed to have any other goddamn heartbreaks along the way. 

Steve and Natasha lost a baby. 

A fucking baby.

Isabella cries for the first time in months, the tears hot and fast, full of anger and sorrow. Thanos against them. _God_ against them. You don’t get over half the universe disappearing and then expect to get over a miscarriage so easily like that. Every person she knew was broken or dead, maybe _she’s_ the cursed one. 

“It’s my fault.” Steve’s voice finally cracks, his own tears stubbornly forming. “Stupid super soldier serum. I gave us _hope_.” There’s been a lot of hoping in the past year alone, and maybe it’s time he gave up on that.

Natasha suddenly snaps her head up, glaring at him through her tear-filled eyes. “Shut up, Steve. I told you in the car, it could be anyone else, and you’d be fine. It’s me.”

“How was that your fault? They took it from you, the Red Room.” He shakes his head, grasping her firmly. “You deserve to give yourself more credit. I was the one who volunteered to become Captain America. You didn’t choose at all.”

“Does that make it any better? It’s still done.” Natasha hisses, her own tears forgotten and traded for anger. “You were the one who said we will try this out. To trust you. I did, and this isn’t happening. We can’t be together, Steve. If this isn’t a sign I don’t know what is.”

“No.” Isabella whispers, heartbroken beyond belief. They’ve never fought in front of her before. She sees Natasha and Steve, and sees love. _Hope_. They are perfect for one another, and she can’t let them do this. “Please don’t fight.”

“I’m sorry, Natasha.” Izzy cries, hugging the older woman she’s come to love like a sister. This just wasn’t fair. To be given hope and having it taken away so quickly again.

“I’m sorry too, kiddo.” Natasha says softly, embracing her back, but she doesn’t meet Steve’s eyes. They will discuss this later. Steve doesn’t want to press either, because like him, Natasha was stubborn, but she blamed herself too much.

They order Chinese for dinner, where Isabella stays beside Natasha the entire night, as if afraid to leave her. Steve gives them space, particularly Nat – he can’t get her to look at him. Isabella was Natasha’s new constant in her life, even if the spy might not admit it, and he couldn’t take that away from both of them now. But it still stings him how Natasha ignores him the entire meal despite Izzy’s best efforts to include him. 

“Take a shower, _solnyshko_. Then straight to bed.” Natasha insists, nudging Isabella right after the last box had been eaten. The endearing Russian term slips out, and Isabella stores that word for another day when she’ll ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. again, but Natasha speaking Russian was rare and unsettling for Izzy. “It’s been a long day.”

“Okay.” Izzy eyes Steve, then Natasha. “Will you be okay?”

“Yes.” Natasha lies, ignoring Steve’s eyes on her. She forces a smile, and tucks a few loose strands of Isabella’s dark locks behind her ears. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Isabella gives her a hug, and Steve one too, then tracks away from the dining room. They watch until she’s safely out of earshot. 

“Natasha.” Steve tries, filling the silence. 

“There’s nothing to say, Steve.” Natasha says grimly. She still stands by her earlier words.

“I love you.” He whispers, and takes her hand. He does, and she’s not surprised to hear it because Steve wore his heart on his sleeve. “Please, Natasha. Whatever happened, we’ll get over it together. This isn’t the end.”

She stares at his hand, but doesn’t clasp it back. 

He asked her to get over it. How could she? It’s still in her, the child. Once she starts on the medication, it will be gone. She’ll practically bleed it out, another red in her ledger. And he’s saying it so easily like they could just wake up tomorrow and everything will be back to normal. 

Natasha rises, snatching her hand back. “I lost the child, Steve. A baby. I almost became a _mother_. This one is on me, this isn’t some fight we lost. Thanos came and took out half the population, and I can’t even keep one child safe.”

She tries so hard to maintain her calm, composed tone, but it crumbles the moment she called herself a mother. Some mom. She doesn’t even deserve to be an Aunt, at this rate. She thinks about Pepper, how Tony gushes about her being the perfect mother to Morgan and she agrees. But she’s not like Pepper. She’s a coldblooded killer. And this one, like so many others, were on her hands. She folds them into fists to stop them from trembling.

“So, you tell me. How do we get over this?” 

She leaves him sitting in the dining room before he can say a word.

Natasha takes a dose of the medication, and goes back to bed, aching and cramping. For the first time since Steve moved back in, she locks her door. F.R.I.D.A.Y. is almost apologetic when the A.I. informs Steve.

Steve get it, or at least he tries to. It doesn’t make the hurt go away, but he’ll have to deal with it for tonight. He doesn’t push, and makes his way to the couch for the night; his bedroom had been untouched for years, it’s not a good idea to head back. He thinks about leaving a note, and going back to his apartment. But he can’t leave the girls alone. 

As he stares at the ceiling, he thinks about Natasha’s words. She’s right. They can’t get over this so easily. 

“Steve?” 

He rises to the voice, but he doesn’t need the moonlight through the windows to know it’s Isabella. The Princess walks to him barefoot and in her sleeping clothes, looking painfully young. 

He doesn’t shy away from her; there’s not much to hide at this point. It’s hard to remember that she’s eighteen, not a child, and they can’t keep her in the dark. “Iz, you still up?”

“Can’t sleep.” She admits, settling on the couch beside him. She eyes the pillows and blankets, and her face falls. “How are you?”

“Been better.” He replies truthfully. “There’s school tomorrow, you should get back to bed.”

“I don’t think I’m going.” She looks up at him. Steve looks as if he has aged a decade since yesterday. She doesn’t need to ask about the pillows on the couch to know that Natasha needed her space. 

“Don’t do that, Izzy.” He says after a long beat. “This isn’t your problem, you can’t stay at home just because of this.”

“It is when you decided to sign the papers. You’re my guardians, Steve. If something happens to you, it happens to me, too.” Isabella’s eyes fill with tears without meaning. She leans her head on his arm, shutting her eyes as he pulls her closer to embrace her carefully. 

“Just for tomorrow.” Steve nods, feeling almost guilty. Isabella’s been doing so much better in months, and he feels a sense of pride seeing her happier. She’s been doing well in school, and helping out the orphans; a part of her was always going to be the Princess she was, in title or not. 

“What’s going to happen?” Isabella asks quietly. He knows what she means. 

“I don’t know.” He thinks about Natasha. F.R.I.D.A.Y. has promised to alert him if she was showing any signs of distress or excessive pain, but he knows she’ll get mad if he was to enter. They’ve gone on the run, and countless of missions together. But he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. This isn’t like the time he risked his life to save her instead of going after the civilians in Mexico. She was both hurt and angry now, and he didn’t know how to fix it. 

“Can I ask you something?”

He looks over, puzzled. “Of course.”

“What did she say? She called me something in Russian. So nish ko?”

“Solnyshko.” Steve’s been learning Russian, and Natasha only slips up when she’s feeling particularly affectionate. He would know, but it only feels him with more pain because he might not hear that from her again. “It means little sun…”

Isabella knows when she’s overstepped, because Steve looked absolutely devastated now. “I’m really sorry, Steve.” She whispers.

“Me too, Iz.”

They stay seated in silence, Steve’s arm around Isabella’s shoulders, warm and comforting. She ends up sleeping in that position, exhausted from school and all the emotions, so he picks her up carefully and brings her back to her room, passing by Natasha’s locked door, reminding him of everything again. The hurt and pain hasn’t once dulled since they got back, and it only amplifies once more.

A year after, and they are back where they started.

* * *

** _One year, ten months after_ **

Isabella’s been dreading the days.

She has some final exams to finish, but even those can’t distract her from the date. She can’t find peace anywhere. Not in the Avengers compound, where Natasha threads around like a broken robot, not in school, where the kids were studying, not even outside, because everyone’s preparing for the memorial. 

Another year doesn’t change anything. Time passes, but reality stays the same. It takes everything in her not to scoff at the memorial the school’s put up, and every unused locker has notes filled by friends to victims of the snap. Nobody asks her who she’s missing, and she’s fine with that. Nobody needs to know who she is exactly.

Except Ivy, who sees her in every class. Ivy, who has pity in her eyes so clear Isabella wishes they never told her. They don’t talk a lot, except for class, and even then, she knows Ivy’s trying hard not to be judgmental. She doesn’t need her pity. It hits twice harder this year, even with all the time that’s gone.

She passes by the flowers by the Avengers compound, ignoring every single note. They are mostly for the fallen anyway, and she doesn’t think she has the right to take a peek. Someone will collect them up and sort them for Tony – he’s been secretly handling all these admin for them, even busy with Morgan. 

She does pick up some red roses by the main gate, just beside the bell that’s addressed to Natasha and her. They were probably from Steve, who’s back in Brooklyn and has been since last month. He’s been leaving them bouquets for a good month, and after that one time Natasha threw one into the fireplace, Isabella’s been collecting them in her room instead.

She doesn’t quite want to untangle that thread yet. No, not now.

Not this week.

She sighs, heading inside. There are voices coming from the meeting room, but she doesn’t recognize any. No warning from the A.I., or red alerts, but the last time someone was waiting for her inside, it was Bruce and her pepper spray was pointless, so she ditches the paranoia and walks in. 

“Nat?”

The group of people turn at her voice, Natasha included. Again, Isabella doesn’t recognize any of them. 

“Princess Isabella.” The man on Natasha’s left greets her, bowing slightly. He spoke with a slight accent, and Izzy knows he’s from Caydia right away, if their formal attire didn’t already clue her in. “I’m Peter Kang, the Minister of Foreign Affairs in the cabinet. A pleasure to meet you.”

They all greet her, one by one. Ambassador. UN diplomat. They are all here for something important, and by the looks of it, Natasha was not prepared for her to be home so early if she’s also all dressed up. 

Izzy feels extremely out of place in her jeans and blouse, but they haven’t had such visitors since she moved. “The pleasure’s all mine. Please, what’s going on?”

“Your highness.” Kang speaks, clearly the head of the little group. To them, she’s still their respected Princess. “We are here to invite you to head back to Caydia for the anniversary.”

Kang says it in a tone that clearly means that they weren’t asking. Isabella knows this much that the country was rebuilding, and she’s not bound to be a part of that process after she decided to step down. But she can’t go back. It’s still the country where she remembers her parents the most, and even after a year, she still has her bad days. 

The stress has been eating her the past week, and it catches up to her now. Going back to Caydia would mean attending events and making a speech. She wasn’t ready for that. She’ll have to talk about losing her parents in front of the nation, and about her life. Nobody questioned her when she decided to step down, but they will when she goes back. 

Natasha darts her eyes over, and Isabella recognizes the look on her face to be frustration. “I’m still her legal guardian. I won’t force her to say no, but she has her own say in this.”

“Natasha’s right. I can’t go back.” Izzy closes her eyes, trying to shut out the thoughts. “I’m sorry, gentlemen.”

“We were hoping you would reconsider.” The man who introduced himself as Caydia’s new UN ambassador says. “The UN would like the Avengers to lead a memorial too. If it’s not in Caydia, it could be held here in New York.”

They were asking too much of them. The Avengers were technically defunct, and she’s no longer a Princess, only in name. Isabella thinks of Steve and Natasha, and Tony and Pepper who won’t want to be back in the spotlight. Bruce was one with the Hulk, and Thor... she didn’t know where he was, as was Clint Barton. They couldn’t do it. Even if Carol, Nebula and Rocket agreed, she was sure Rhodey would hate it as much as Steve would. 

“As I’ve explained, that would be impossible for the Avengers.” Natasha says firmly. She’s had enough of this meeting, that they promised would not take long. She had planned to say no, and leave it as it was, but then they decided to bring along some big names from Caydia to get Isabella on board. 

“Your highness, Caydia has missed our Princess. Your absence has been felt, and the people would love to see you at the memorial for your parents.” Kang presses on. 

“I’m no longer bounded by my duties, you don’t have to call me that.” Isabella says politely, but it’s slightly forced. 

“Is that your final answer? You won’t be heading back?”

“Not this year.” Isabella confirms, eyeing the ambassador and minister. “We have retired, so it seems. Everyone needs to move on, and this anniversary... we will mourn by ourselves.”

“Very well. It was nice to see you again, your highness. I hope you have been well.” Kang nods to his people, who start to collect their things. “We will keep in touch, hopefully for next year.” 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. will lead you out.” Natasha says through gritted teeth, shaking their hands in farewell. She usually doesn’t let a bodiless A.I. do that but as Izzy said, they’ve retired; it’s not her job to entertain ambassadors and officials anymore. That minister, Kang – he was determined. She was worried that Isabella would feel guilty, or that she would let all this get to her. She’s been trying so hard to make sure the Princess wasn’t overwhelmed by school, or by whatever she was trying to ignore.

By Steve’s absence. And her baby.

It still shatters her to think about it. What could have been, and what she ended up with. Maybe Isabella wasn’t the only one on the tipping point. 

“Natasha.” Isabella calls, shaking Natasha out of her thoughts. Her guardian was unusually quiet. “Are you okay?”

“You’re asking me? How about you?”

“I asked first.” A cheeky smirk grew on Izzy’s face.

Natasha laughed, opening her arms to hug her. It’s the least she can do after a hard day. She’s been doing that more often now, but what could she say? Isabella’s a hugger. “I’m fine, they had this planned since last month. You?”

“I’m good.” Isabella tucks her head under Natasha’s chin, feeling the warmth. It feels like her mother’s embrace, this rare moment of Natasha being open to something so physical; the spy didn’t like to show her attachment, but this time, she was probably feeling sentimental after they showed up like that. “I didn’t want to go back.”

Natasha pulls away, and sighs. “The Avengers... we can’t give our speeches.”

Isabella understands. “Why didn’t you tell me they were coming?”

“You’re busy with school. And I thought Steve would be with me....”

There’s that faraway look in Natasha’s eyes again. She’s been getting that more often, and Izzy doesn’t want to touch on Steve’s absence or the baby yet. It’s been sitting in the room like a white elephant for weeks, and she’s worried Natasha would crumble at the mention of it. She doesn’t want to see it again, not anymore.

But Steve was good for Natasha. She was the happiest she’s been in months since the snap before this, and Isabella knows she still worries about Clint Barton. There hasn’t been mention of Clint to Rhodey during their weekly updates for a good month.

“Do you miss Steve?” Isabella tries.

“No.” Natasha snaps back, like a recoiled spring, going back to tidying the meeting table a little. Even Izzy knows she’s lying. They both miss his presence – for different reasons, she’s sure. 

“Then...” Oh, Isabella hates that she’s going to ask. “Are you really okay about the baby?”

The flash of sorrow in Natasha’s eyes is too much for her to bear, and she instantly regrets even asking. The spy recovers slow enough for Izzy to see how much _pain_ she was in. “I’ll get there.”

“Pepper called. She wanted to know why you cancelled brunch on her, because you haven’t gone over to see Morgan in a while.” Isabella feels like the worst person alive saying all this. Morgan was a living reminder of what Steve and Natasha couldn’t have, and she knew why Nat was avoiding all this. “I told her I didn’t know you had plans, and that you were probably busy.”

The redhead doesn’t reply.

“Natasha, I’m worried.” Isabella says, a hand on her guardian’s, stopping her from collecting the untouched drinks on the table. It’s kind of a deja vu moment, because a year ago Nat was doing the same to her in the kitchen. The reversal of roles makes her even more anxious, if possible. Natasha’s headstrong and doesn’t let emotions affect herself or those around her, and seeing her so out of it for days...

Isabella gets why she would be so worried for her all those months ago when she herself was in the same situation. 

Shakily, Natasha settles back down in her seat. They’ve grown too close over the months, and Isabella’s more observant than she’s given her credit for. “In the Red Room, emotions are a weakness. The girl who cried after our first training was sent away. It wasn’t until much later when we realized she was killed. I’ve grown soft.”

She shakes her head, looking over to Isabella. “So I’ll get better. I was trained to hide my emotions, don’t worry about me, Iz.”

“It doesn’t mean you can’t show them.” Isabella says quietly, settling down as well. “Natasha, you’re not a robot. I hate seeing you try to pretend that everything is alright. And shutting Steve out, I know you still care for him.” 

Izzy remembers the red roses lying outside the compound that she had picked up. Reaching into her tote bag, she takes them out and hands them to the redhead. “If anything, he still cares for you.” 

Natasha takes the roses, feeling the soft silky petals and admiring the bouquet. The note is addressed to her and Isabella, and it’s the handwriting that she recognizes to be Steve’s. Sighing, she places them gingerly on the table. “I’m sorry you had to see us like this. I should have told him no.”

“Don’t think about me. If I wasn’t here, you should still get the chance to try this with Steve.” Isabella clutches her hand tightly. “Will you talk to him? Please? I worry for him too.”

Natasha hasn’t really thought about how Steve was handling it. After he said he was going back to Brooklyn to give her space... she let him go. The bleeding had stopped, and the baby was gone; he didn’t have any other reason to stay if she was going to be so distant. Everything was back to normal for now, even if they will never feel like it was. 

She nods, and smiles softly for Isabella. The Princess returns it, a glimmer of hope.

They’ll get better again.

* * *

Natasha’s not quite sure why she’s doing this.

Isabella’s in school. They were having their finals this week, and at the rate the Princess was performing, she’ll get that ‘A’ easily. She’s not worried about her work, not at the slightest. But she is worried about her mental health, and how she’s dealing with it all. They were hitting the yearly mark, and she had a point. She couldn’t avoid Steve forever, especially not at this time of the year.

Natasha rings the doorbell again. It’s hitting noon, and Rogers couldn’t still be in bed. Then panic starts to seep in. She hasn’t been monitoring him lately; there was no need for that when he was living right at the compound, but she knows it’s not near the time for his therapy group sessions. 

The door opens before she can knock again, and Steve’s standing there with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. _Red roses._ His eyes brighten up at the sight of her, and she almost feels a pang in her chest. She’s missed this. Missed his enthusiasm, his smile, and most of all, him. 

“Why would you keep a girl waiting?” She greets, her tone light.

“I was... I was getting the flowers.” He shuffles a hand through his blonde hair, looking sheepishly at his feet.

_You have got to be kidding. _“Flowers. You do this to everyone who rings your doorbell?”

“I saw you.” He explains, going red. “Peeked through the door hole.”

Then, he presses the flowers gently into her hand, slightly hesitant. He could be reading this totally wrong, and she might just be here to tell him about something Isabella needed. “I really wanted to see you, I just didn’t know... and they reminded me of you... You said you loved red roses because that’s what you would have wanted to get if you did ballet tours.”

_He remembered._ They were doing a particularly long deep cover mission back in the S.H.I.E.L.D. days, and she had to tour with a ballet company for a few weeks as her cover while he visited every show to find their mark. It had been a casual comment then, and it was also the first time he really saw how the Red Room groomed her to be a skilled assassin through dance.

Just for that, she nearly kisses him then and there. Instead, she takes the flowers, and frowns. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“Oh. Yeah, come in.”

His Brooklyn apartment is tiny, and yesterday’s empty takeout container is still sitting on his coffee table, along with a couple of beers. Steve can’t get drunk thanks to the serum, and he only drinks alone if something’s eating him.

It doesn’t take her too long to know that it’s her.

“Izzy doing okay?” He asks, only because he hasn’t seen her in a while.

“She has finals.”

“Oh.”

Silence.

He runs his hand through his hair again, watching her. She has her hair up in a ponytail, the blonde tips touching her collar. It sways when she walks in, and he can’t divert his eyes away from her. Natasha doesn’t like to tie up her hair, and she only does it when she’s too tired to do style it up, and he doesn’t need to affirmation to know that the past month hasn’t quite treated her well.

But God, she’s still so _beautiful_. 

She has on light makeup around the eyes, and her lips are a faint pink, probably from that strawberry lip balm she always uses. Then she clears her throat, a sound that startles him and his blushes; he’s definitely been caught staring at her lips.

“I don’t know why I’m here.” Natasha admits. Steve has never been subtle about anything, and she feels his gaze on her. But they can’t go back. She can’t, and won’t.

“Are _you_ doing okay?” He presses, concerned.

“Yes.” She lies.

The bleeding is gone, and so is the baby. She’s done with the medication, and she had her appointment a few weeks ago without him. So why does it still hurt so much? She doesn’t want to look up at him, not so she can see how much pain he was feeling too. Tears prick her eyes, but she commands them away. She’s had training for this, not to show any emotions, so she won’t, no matter what Isabella says or how she feels about this whole situation.

“They came to ask if the Avengers would speak at the UN anniversary.” She doesn’t need to explain for him to know what anniversary she’s talking about. “I said no.”

“Of course.” He nods. 

“And they asked Izzy if she wanted to go back to Caydia.” Again, he knows what she means, but he still frowns at that. They were very clear after they signed the papers that Isabella would need time before she stepped up to the public again. 

“What did you say?” 

“She came home right before they left.” Natasha avoids his eyes, shrugging. “She said no.”

“When did they go over to the compound?” Steve wasn’t even aware of this meeting.

“Yesterday.”

“Oh.” She came to him a day after. Was he supposed to be there? Even so, he hated that she did that alone. The Avengers were over, and she was still doing everything for them. “I should have been there. I’m sorry–”

Then he stops, because there’s a lot of things he’s sorry for.

For leaving her alone, even if she had been so distant since the baby. For leaving her _and_ Isabella alone, when he was still Isabella’s legal guardian according to the papers he signed. All those months ago when Izzy was still adjusting, he had left Natasha alone to deal with it too, because he couldn’t go back to the compound without being reminded that he had failed. What would Natasha have thought? She was right there too. And she still had the strength to keep going for the Princess, while he just walked away, just like when the UN officials went to the compound _yesterday_. 

And maybe Natasha felt it too. She was trembling, even as she tried to hold his gaze. She had the weight of the Avengers, and of being Isabella’s guardian, and to top it all, the _baby_. She couldn’t be feeling fine, no matter how she tried to carry it so nonchalantly.

“Natasha.” Steve starts. She doesn’t interrupt. “You’re shaking.”

She is. She’s trembling slightly, the bouquet of roses hitting against her jeans. She did it, she checked up on Steve, and told him about the meeting, and how Isabella was feeling. She’s done enough, and she had to get out of here. _Immediately_. “I have to go.”

“No, wait!” Steve stops her, reaching her arm. Even the slightest touch sends a buzz through her, and she forces herself to shake him off, but it’s like her brain doesn’t connect with her heart. 

“Natasha, please. I just want to set things right. Even if it’s over between us, I can’t let you go like this.” He turns her around slowly, and she makes the mistake of looking up at him. 

Those blue eyes could melt anyone. But she wills herself to be stronger. “How will you set things right?”

Pain flashes through her eyes. “Can you give me back my baby?”

“I can’t.” He admits, his blue eyes filling with tears. She hates herself even more for that. Shutting herself off has always been her defence mechanism, but she knows after years of being his partner that Steve’s the type to talk about his feelings and not keep it in. She’s been shutting him out a good month and Isabella’s right; she was worried for Steve, too. It wasn’t fair on him, but nothing was fair.

If it was they wouldn’t be like this. And half the universe wouldn’t have faded away.

“Then how will we move on?” She cries, her own tears spilling. “I look at you, and I think of what I’ve failed. How can we still continue on like this?”

The first time she cried in his arms, it was after the snap. Not even once during her worst nightmares after Ultron. Instead, she cried when she found out Clint was murdering all those gangs, and it just reminded herself of the Black Widow all those years ago. All the blood in her hands, and the universe throws her Clint’s too. He saved her all those years ago, and she couldn’t return the favour. His family was dead, and she had no control over that. 

So it makes sense that she’s always crying when she has more blood on her hands. The red in her ledger was truly gushing. 

“You’ve never failed.” He whispers. “I wasn’t careful myself. Nat, I can’t let you go. I think about you _every day_ and I don’t want this to end.”

Natasha shuts her eyes, exasperated. He was always so stubborn. “You have to – we will never work. You’re so obvious, Steve. You want marriage and I _know_ you want children.” Her voice wavers a little, and she opens her eyes to meet his blue ones, upset. “Everything you deserve, I can’t give to you.”

“You’re wrong.” He whispers, soft and delicate. “The man who wanted all that went into the ice decades ago. And the man who thought he could learn to love again? You found him last year.” 

Steve clutches her, holding her steady, anchoring her to him and reality. “I don’t look at you and think of what we can’t have. I think of how lucky I am to have found you, to experience life a second time around. You know what Isabella told me when we were at Tony’s wedding? She told me that we have what we have when we have it. That came from _you_. And I just thought... I thought I really needed to tell you how I felt. Because half our friends are gone, but there’s a reason you and me are still here, and I don’t want that to disappear too.” 

He doesn’t break his contact with her, and she holds his gaze, hearing every bit of sincerity he’s saying. But she has no reply. Even though Steve’s right, and she wants so badly for this to work, she’s scared of what she feels for him. She’s never felt this way before, like she was drowning and she had no way of floating unless she gripped him. But they might sink together, and she’s the most afraid of what that will do to him. 

“Can you tell me at least truthfully?” Steve asks instead, loosening his grip on her arm. She hasn’t really noticed it, but it’s probably going to leave a mark. “Did you love me back?”

She thinks about the past year. It’s been a rollercoaster, but it’s also been the best she’s felt in years, decades even. _Free. Light. Blissful_. She hasn’t had many opportunities for love. Love is for children.

But children could be lost.

So easily lost.

Maybe love was the same.

Yet even when there was pain, Steve made her feel better. Light kisses in the rain when their picnic got destroyed by the weather. Nightmares erased after Sokovia and even after the snap. Watching him sketch her lazily after a long night. Soft touches in bed as she withers in his arms. Helping Isabella with American History when she was struggling to understand it, not being American herself. 

He’s the light in the darkness she considers herself to be. 

“Yes.” She croaks out, honest. He’s always honest. So she will be, too.

“Do you hate me?”

“Never.”

“Then we can do this again.” He says softly, pulling her close. She’s almost ashamed that she lets him, her own body betraying her. He leans down, eye to eye and lips barely touching hers. “Do you still trust me?”

“You know I do.”

She’s not surprised that she kisses him first, soft, hungry and yearning for more. The flowers fall to the floor, forgotten as she grips his hair and yanks him closer. She wants this. She truly does, and so does he. He’s even more impatient than she is, using his strength to lift her up and he pulls them both down onto his sofa, where he kisses her, hard, desperate and full of love. 

They fall on his couch, and she laughs, breathless, before he attacks her mouth again, and she’s kissing him back urgently. 

They were looking a lot like horny teenagers, with his mouth on hers and her gently straddling him on his sofa. How do you stop something like that? Flashes of red and blonde cover his eyes, her hair loose from its elastic and wild all over her face. He’s missed this so much, and she knows she has too. 

Finally, she pulls away, panting – she’s not a super soldier, she can’t go on forever. But he brings her back to him, where she lies on his chest, content.

She can hear his heart beating. It’s fast and she feels almost dizzy. She’s really going to do this again with Steve, and for the first time, she doesn’t know what to expect. But she accepts this.

“You okay?” He murmurs.

“Mmhmm.” She replies lazily. This time, it’s not a lie.

“Trust me.” He breathes, pressing another kiss on her red roots. 

“I do, Steve.”

“Are we okay?”

“I think we are.” She presses her face against his chest, hearing the thumping of his heart. “I’m not good with relationships.”

“You’re talking to the man who unsuccessfully tried to give you flowers for a month.” 

She laughs, and the vibrations rock them both. “I think Isabella kept them all in secret.” 

“Speaking of... Do we tell her?” She tilts her head up and eyes him carefully. They didn’t tell anyone but her before, and maybe that was part of the reason why it failed.

“We’re going to do this right this time, so yes.” He plays with her hair, mumbling into it as he presses his chin on her head. “I’m going to bring you out of the compound, and we’ll go to restaurants. Or the movies. I think that’s what people do on dates.”

Her heart swells. “Dating me now, Rogers?”

“Yes, and I want everyone to know.” He frowns. “Unless you don’t want that.”

“I like that.” She breathes, clutching his shirt tightly, clinging to him. “Even Stark?”

“Maybe.” He laughs.

“You’re right. He’ll be the last to know.”

“Then yes, I’m dating you, Romanoff. Only you.” He slants her head to plant a tiny kiss, lost in her eyes. 

Oh, she’s losing it. Five years ago, she wouldn’t be letting herself smile against someone’s lips. She’d be focused on the mission.

But there are no missions now, only time. 

“We can get through this, you hear me, Nat? Not you alone, but together.” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ears, then gently cups her face with his hands, gazing into the emeralds of her eyes. 

She knows he means the baby. She bites her lips, closing her eyes and thinking about Pepper again. Morgan, and Tony, the family she was never meant to have. Isabella and the orphans. It’s going to take time before she can trust herself not to fall back into the darkness. Still, she nods, opening her eyes and gazing back into his piercing blue eyes. “Okay.” She breathes, and he lets go of her face gently.

“Do you still love me?” It’s only fair she asks him back. After all, he asked first. Hand in his hair, she looks at him through her lashes.

“Always.” He answers, and it’s filled with so much sincerity and love that she smiles wider, and he pulls her in for another deeper kiss. 

* * *

Pepper calls for brunch. Multiple times, actually.

Usually Natasha would say yes, but there’s just one tiny problem. Pepper’s brunches include Morgan, and Natasha doesn’t feel ready for that yet. 

It makes her feel a tiny bit guilty. Not because they were hiding their relationship from their nosy friends, but because whatever Pepper and Morgan do, it’s not supposed to be their fault that she’s still so skittish about it. The old her would have hidden it – treated it like another mission – and went along with brunch. But she’s not that girl anymore. 

Pepper had a beautiful family with a healthy little girl, and who was she to wish the same? She’s done terrible things in her life and she’s always looking to do better, and that’s why she’s still holding on to what’s left of the Avengers with Carol, Okoye, Nebula, Rocket and Rhodey. Isabella was part of it and Steve was another. 

So this time she doesn’t respond. Not yet. Pepper will think she’s busy and stop pressing, even though this is the third time she’s cancelled. She thinks Isabella is giving Pepper excuses too, but if she has, she hasn’t said a word. 

Natasha keeps all this hidden from Steve too. The lesser he knew, the less guilty she would feel. He obviously shared the same grief she did, if not blamed himself more. 

They just needed time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could say chapters will come in as fast as it has, but the semester's back on track and I'm busier than ever :( Hopefully I get this all written before Black Widow 2020 because I have some plans in mind! As usual, thank you for all the love :)


	6. s i x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s not supposed to be possible. I know you’ve hacked into S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files.” Natasha speaks, her tone calm to outsiders, but not to the Avengers. She’s right; Tony knows all about the Red Room, and he’s done enough snooping to know. 
> 
> Then she shakes her head, blinking away the stubborn tears. “Anyway, I lost it. So I guess that’s another loss this year, huh? Other than half the universe. Happy anniversary!”
> 
> Isabella holds her breath as the rest start to stir. It’s what they were gathered here for. To remember the fallen. Tears prick her eyes even before she remembers. They could go years, decades after this, and it would never be easy to talk about how they lost all their family and friends. No one to blame when Thanos was dead.

** _Two years after_ **

This year, they gather at Tony’s tiny cabin outside of the city. It’s just a little get together, something they’ve been meaning to do for a long while now, or in Tony’s words, “We didn’t die so let’s meet up and feel less shitty about ourselves.” 

Almost everyone goes, including Carol, Nebula and Rocket, who come from god knows what planet in the galaxy. Okoye sent her best wishes, but she had met up with them via hologram to say she couldn’t leave Wakanda. Thor was still uncontactable, but Valkyrie did send her wishes, saying he would want to stay with the Asgardians. And Clint... 

They don’t mention him for Natasha’s sake; her messages were always going to be unanswered.

It’s also the first time they’ve _all_ gathered to see Morgan Stark again since the hospital a year ago. Sure, they’ve exchanged photos and milestones (Morgan walks! And says words!), but nothing compares to the real thing. Pepper’s brimming with excitement at sharing the little girl with her aunts and uncles, but Natasha’s looking a lot more overwhelmed than the last time. In fact, she realizes that Natasha hasn’t been responding to their messages, and it’s Isabella that does in the last month or so.

Still, Natasha could be busy. She was keeping part of the Avengers together, according to Rhodey. She monitored both Earth and the Universe’s happenings, and juggled helping Isabella. The Princess was apparently attending school now, and helping some orphans, so maybe Natasha was helping out more too. It’s why they never saw each other throughout the year as often as they did before, but she doesn’t blame them.

Morgan babbles at everyone, and they flock to her like she’s the most precious thing alive. She’s probably the happiest toddler, and even Nebula cracks a tiny smile. Tony takes that as a win, and smirks every damn time someone coos at his daughter. 

Everyone except Natasha.

Steve tries to keep the attention from her. They don’t really draw much to themselves, and while Bruce knows, it’s a little too much to let someone like Stark know for now. Even if Tony’s mellowed with age (his quote, not theirs), and wouldn’t be one to judge, it was nice to be in their little bubble for now, especially when they’ve decided to take thing slowly. 

Isabella plays with Morgan in Natasha’s place, even if she suspected that Pepper was a little upset that Morgan’s godmother wasn’t all over the girl. It’s a difficult day for all of them, but it hits Natasha twice as much, if not more. She’s lost so much, and Izzy knew that Clint Barton was eating her up too. The archer’s absence had her feeling worse than the faded ones. 

It starts when Carol tells them about her adventures in the galaxy. She usually sugar-coats things when Isabella’s sitting in their meetings; something Natasha probably warned them about, but maybe it’s the anniversary that makes her a little upset. Two years in, and even the heroes struggled about how they felt about the deaths.

“I went to the Skrulls before heading here.” The blonde says carefully. She’s in a brown leather jacket and her hair’s cascading past her shoulders in huge messy curls – casual attire when she’s back on Earth. Everyone knows about her story, and how she still keeps in contact with them. “They’re still finding it hard.”

“It’s the same everywhere.” Rocket chimes in, playing with his new gun he just got from Tony. One pointed look from Pepper – no weapons around the kid! – and he leaves to store it safely. 

“It’s always hard during this time.” Steve admits, and Isabella clutches Morgan a little. Maybe she should come over more often; the little girl was a good distraction. Morgan squirms in her arms, demanding to be put down, so Isabella compiles, but she still loops an arm around the little girl to embrace her while she stands.

“Hey, I didn’t invite you here to mope.” Tony sighs. “What have you been up to? It’s been a quiet year.”

Bruce eyes Natasha, then Steve, and even glances right at Isabella. He’s still fidgety about having to keep their secret, and he could tell they were still together, if they ever did separate. It’s no surprise seeing Natasha and Steve, considering how long they’ve been partners, but this wasn’t something he should share to the rest. 

Instead, the scientist grins, ignoring his thoughts. “I’ve been tinkering in the lab again.”

“Old news.” Tony says, looking right at the shirt-wearing Hulk. Even his glasses made him confused. 

“I hear Isabella’s doing well in school.” Rhodey supplies. “How’s that?”

Izzy finds herself at the centre of attention, and makes a face. She’s the youngest of them all and they talk to her like she’s a kid. “The American education is a lot slower.”

“She means that she’s already learnt what they taught in math and science.” Steve explains, exasperated. “I told you to jump up a grade and be with your age.”

“You said I needed time to settle in!” 

“Yeah, yeah, so she’s a genius.” Tony waves his hands, and Izzy blushes. “Mom and Dad proud? Put up her report card on the fridge?”

It makes Natasha flinch, and Steve puts an arm casually around her, so nobody notices. It’s not too obvious for the rest to think twice about how she lets him touch her, but Isabella and Bruce know better. “You’ll be doing that with Morgan soon.”

“Already have the college picked.” Tony high-fives Rhodey, who rolls his eyes. “Unless she wants to go a different route, of course. I’d still support her.”

“How’s Morgan?” Bruce says, taking the heat away. He’s definitely noticed Natasha. He has since they gathered anyway.

The girl in question looks up from Isabella’s arms in surprise. “Mama?”

“Just saying your name, sweetheart.” Pepper laughs. “Show your uncles and aunts where your nose is!”

The toddler touches her nose gleefully, and everyone claps in surprise and pride. Even Carol feels like melting; that’s one cute ass kid. 

Natasha turns her head away, and Steve only grips her tighter. 

“We’re still trying to get her to say our names.” Tony grins. Never mind that the child was barely running around the house without tumbling over sometimes. “She needs to say ‘Stark Industries’ some day; she’s the next heir!”

“She’s not a dog.” Pepper sighs, rolling her eyes at her husband. 

“We have a bet running.” Rhodey admits. “I say she’ll say Pepper first.” 

“Traitor.” Tony coughs. 

“It’s almost statistically proven that babies say mama first – which she did – so I wouldn’t be surprised if she does.” Bruce explains, almost apologetically – he had some money in on the bet too.

“She’s going to say ‘Tony, no’ first, and then I can properly laugh.” Carol smirks, referencing to the toddler’s new favourite word. The gang laugh in response, and Morgan giggles, not wanting to be left out even if she didn’t understand what they were all laughing at.

“You adding on to the betting pool, Godma?” Rhodey asks, directing it to Natasha. “Haven’t seen you campaigning for Auntie Nat rights in awhile.”

“Nat, you forgot to show up to brunch the other day.” Pepper pipes in, half concerned. She had waited for the redhead in the cabin until she found Isabella’s message explaining that Natasha couldn’t make it. In fact, she’s been doing this for the last few months a couple of times, right after Natasha fell sick on Morgan’s first birthday. It’s like the spy never even got to making up for not attending such a big milestone in her goddaughter’s life, and it made her worried.

It’s just a casual remark, but Natasha takes it personally. They are all right, she’s been avoiding this. Morgan reminds her too much of what could have been her life, and she’s sorry that Isabella’s been answering her messages from Pepper. She knew about that, of course. You don’t go one month without any from the CEO. 

It’s pointless to keep stuff from the Avengers. Bruce’s been staring at her since they gathered, and Steve’s obviously worrying a lot. She’ll have to talk about this anyway. She couldn’t keep avoiding the actual toddler, or let the pain consume her. 

“I lost the baby.” Natasha blurts out, avoiding everyone’s eyes. It’s so sudden, so out of topic and it completely confuses the gang. The ones who know look over, concerned, and Steve realizes that they can’t be hiding this. Not from the Avengers, and not today on one of their rare meet ups talking about Tony’s family and holding his child. His arms around Natasha tighten again, as he realizes what’s coming up next when she leans into his embrace.

Isabella’s eyes widen. She had tried her best to cover up, paying more attention to Pepper’s texts and Tony’s messages before they could get to Steve or Natasha. She’s still holding onto Morgan’s hand, who’s looking a little unstable like she would go down for a nap soon. But Izzy couldn’t hide the girl, not with everyone around and looking so perplexed over Natasha’s random statement. 

Bruce speaks first, because neither Natasha nor Steve want to, and Isabella’s not going to betray either of them. “You don’t have to–”

“No, I think we do.” Steve says gently, still holding Natasha. It’s not so casual anymore, not just an arm around her shoulder on the couch, but he’s added his other hand tightly clasped around hers. 

It’s a room full of superheroes, and they aren’t dense in anyway to have survived this far. The way Steve gravitates towards Natasha, and how she sinks back into his embrace? Isabella’s been seeing that too often to take note of the changes, but everyone else does. 

“Oh.” Carol says, her tone soft. Beside her, Rhodey’s eyes widen in realization. Right from the start, he’s noticed this more than he had teased before, and Carol was there too, at the park. “_Oh._”

“Are you kidding me.” Tony says a beat later, eyeing the two carefully, seeing how scary, fearless Natasha melts into Steve’s arms like she’s in physical pain. It comes out as a statement, and not a question. “You’re dating.”

“Yes.” Steve confirms stoically, nodding. 

Isabella bites her lip to stop from crying. Not today, she promises. They can’t go every year like this. If she falls, Nat would too, and she knew the redhead prided herself for her control of emotions. 

Wordlessly, Pepper reaches over to take Morgan from her anyway, sensing her fall in mood. Silence ranges on as the rest try to make sense of Natasha’s words. Call it maternal instinct, but Pepper’s guessed it. Immediately, she’s heartbroken. It would explain all the disappearances in the last few months, and the forgotten phone calls.

“How long?” Carol asks, quiet. She should have known. She’s been around them more often than Stark, and they’ve always continued their weekly updates. 

“After the hospital when we met Morgan.” Steve sighs, guilty.

“So a year. You kept this from us for a year.” Rhodey points out, watching them carefully. He can’t believe this; he’d been giving them updates all this time and they were dating right in front of him. When he mentioned Clint, and Steve gripped Natasha and he just ignored it.

“Well, congrats.” Tony’s probably not at all surprised at this point; red did let Steve go at the airport, and he clearly saw them dancing at his own wedding. So, all his statements about Steve – Natasha was already dating him at that point. Then he frowns, but not because he’s frustrated that he’s one of the last few to know. “Lost what baby?”

Pepper nudges her husband gently, carrying a sleepy Morgan. Tony looks down at his baby girl, then back at Steve and Natasha. The Princess has tears in her eyes, and somehow Bruce was looking quieter than confused. He barely puts two and two together. All the disappearances. No word from the Avengers’ Compound for months, not even a peep from F.R.I.D.A.Y.

“Good lord.” He breathes as realization floods in. Red and Capsicle. Did Captain America knock up the Black Widow? Oh god, this was insane. On a day like today, no less. Pepper brings Morgan away, out of sight, but he doesn’t think that even super spy Nat has realized that. “You knocked her up.”

Steve winces. “We didn’t think I would.”

“It’s not supposed to be possible. I know you’ve hacked into S.H.I.E.L.D.’s files.” Natasha speaks, her tone calm to outsiders, but not to the Avengers. She’s right; Tony knows all about the Red Room, and he’s done enough snooping to know. 

Then she shakes her head, blinking away the stubborn tears. “Anyway, I lost it. So I guess that’s another loss this year, huh? Other than half the universe. Happy anniversary!”

Isabella holds her breath as the rest start to stir. It’s what they were gathered here for. To remember the fallen. Tears prick her eyes even before she remembers. They could go years, decades after this, and it would never be easy to talk about how they lost all their family and friends. No one to blame when Thanos was dead.

“Did you know?” Tony asks, this time to the rest. Nebula shakes her head, eyes downcast. There are some things hidden when they meet via hologram every week. Tony skips Isabella, who’s obviously a little shaky now, and his eyes fall to Bruce, who has his shoulders hunched up as the Hulk on his tiny couch. “But you knew.”

“It’s not my story to tell.” The scientist explains.

“So you kept it hidden and pretended everything was okay?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Steve interrupts before they can get angry. He’s kept it pretty together for Natasha’s sake, even when she turned up at his apartment and they made out like teenagers. There’s just so much you can talk about when it hurts too much to even think. 

“Yes it does. Why didn’t you say anything?” Tony presses. He thought they were done with all this secretive shit. That’s exactly why the Avengers fell the first time, and now even when half of them were gone they would still find a way to hurt themselves. _A baby, damn it_. 

You think they know shit about each other, but you really don’t. Even Barton was somewhere across the world killing people, and Thor wouldn’t come out of his cave. They really were a fucked up bunch.

“You have your family, Stark.” Natasha eyes him. They’ve known each other the longest, right from when he was dying in Stark Industries and she was tasked to shadow him. They had a mutual understanding for each other, at least, but he hasn’t seen her in so much pain and emotion before. “Not many of us share the same fortune. I’m not going to spoil that for you.”

She meant the three million dead on Earth. Faded to dust after a snap of fingers. Sure, he had Pepper. But he lost the kid, Peter Parker. _I’m sorry, Tony. I’m _sorry_, Tony. _He replays it in his head so many times, like a broken record, even when he’s holding Morgan and has his whole life with her ahead of him. Nat lost hers and he lost the one person he had entrusted himself with before this life. 

Yeah, they weren’t going to be sitting here smiling now. He slides to the stool in front of him, settles down, and sighs. “Okay. I lost the boy. Parker? Spiderman? I think about him almost daily. Annoying little guy, talks too much for his own good, but he’s a good kid. So we all know how it feels to lose. Because I was there when Peter disappeared to nothing but _dust_ in front of me.” His voice cracks slightly, but they let it slide.

“You’re family, Nat.” Tony glances at her, then at the rest of the room. “We all are. So we lost them. But at least we have each other. Even though half of you aren’t even human.”

Nebula frowns at that – not the human part, but because of her father. “Family. I considered Thanos as my family.”

There’s a chill in the room at the mention of the titan. He was dead. Thor made sure of that. The same Thor, god of thunder, holed up somewhere, giving excuse after excuse instead of meeting them. Drunk beyond his wit

“Yeah, but he’s dead, and you’ve proven yourself to be way better than him.” Rocket waves his hand. “I thought of the guardians as my family. But I guess we’re really all that’s left, huh?”

Isabella never thought she’d see the day when the group of Avengers would agree with a talking raccoon. Rocket’s more than that, but he’s right. They’ve all lost something, too much at this point. They banded together like survivors – family, for now and forever. 

Carol echoes her thoughts. “An unlikely bunch. But who else do we have? I only came to Earth for Fury and... doesn’t matter. They are all gone.”

“I guess this was a sad pity party after all.” Tony sighs, but they all smile. It does make them feel a little better, as opposed to being alone and wallowing about the snap. 

“We still appreciate the offer to come over, Tony.” Steve smiles, hand still clasping Natasha’s. 

“Yeah yeah.” Tony says dismissively. “Just don’t drop bombshells on me next time please.”

“Then we’ll have to keep in touch. Talk more often. Visit the compound.” Rhodey shrugs. They all could use this to get closer instead of apart.

“I’d love to meet more often.” Isabella admits. The compound was lonely, and she tried not to intrude into Nat and Steve’s time. She didn’t talk to the Avengers much apart from their scheduled weekly meetings sometimes, and school held up a large part of her time.

Natasha tugs on her arm, giving her a little smile, and she returns one. “We’d like that.”

“We, huh?” Tony mumbles, looking at the three of them on the couch. “Alright. We can do that.”

“It’s no bother coming back every once in a while.” Carol agrees, smiling sadly. “Earth isn’t exactly my favourite place.”

Too many memories. They all get it. “Just make sure you don’t disappear on us, Danvers.” Rocket warns. 

“We’d put a tracking device on you.” Rhodey nods.

“Still tracking the others?” Tony asks. “Thor?”

“I’m going to go down one day.” Bruce promises. “He’s being a little difficult. Valkyrie isn’t saying much.”

“You know why he’s avoiding us.” Steve says softly. Thor took it on himself the most out of all of them. 

“Clint?” 

Rhodey shoots Natasha an apologetic glance, but she’s used to it by now. Clint was always one of the troubles on her mind, and while Rhodey gave her updates, she wouldn’t leave Isabella or Steve to go across half the world to find him. He sighs, answering for her. “I haven’t told anyone this but... yesterday, they uncovered an entire fallen gang. Notorious for drug trafficking, and the CIA had been tracking them for years. Sixty seven gone in an hour.”

“An arrow again?”

“No, he doesn’t leave that anymore.” Rhodey shakes his head. “Some sort of blade. The slashes on the victims aren’t pretty.”

“Do they know it’s him?”

“No, he’s still unidentified. CIA calls him Ronin as a codename.”

Natasha lets out a slow breath, looking up at Steve. This was the sort of thing he frowned upon, and she wondered if he knew she used to be like this. He definitely read her file, but... whatever Clint was doing? It’s like they swapped places. 

He looks back at her, eyes concerned, but there’s not a trace of judgement. “It’s a difficult time for him too.”

_For all of us._ Nobody says that though.

They banter, they bicker, but they also have their talks. They were the Avengers, a broken bunch, but they were getting there. Natasha pulls Isabella into a little side hug, feeling sentimental and all, and Steve gives his favourite redhead a tiny kiss on her head that none of them miss. They’ll get there. 

_All_ of them. 

“Ok. So, we’ll deal.” Tony sighs. It’s been a year, but some things take longer than that. But for now, he had one thing on his mind.

“Was Captain America a virgin?” 

Natasha reaches over to cover Isabella’s ears playfully as Steve actually blushes. “And there you go making me regret coming over.”

* * *

Morgan’s been put down for a nap when Pepper brings Natasha a cup of tea. The boys, including Rocket, were out somewhere eyeing Tony’s new work place he put up in the basement, while they opted to stay in the living room. The television’s on to some memorial special, but no one is paying attention, and it’s just background noise at this point. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Pepper asks, slowly and pointedly. They’ve been friends for a decade now, right when Natalie Rushman waltzed into Stark Industries and became her personal assistant. She had to admit, they weren’t friendly at the start, but Natasha’s been saving Tony’s ass for years; she’d be a fool if she were to be jealous or hate the spy. 

“It kinda happened a little too fast.” Natasha admits, accepting the tea. It’s peppermint, and the light scent is also Isabella’s favourite, so she pushes the cup to the Princess after a sip. “I’m sorry, Pepper.”

“Not as sorry as I am.” Pepper smiles sadly. “I wished I could have done something.”

“And I should have noticed something when you cancelled the meeting.” Carol frowns. “Since when did you ever do that?”

“I did it once.”

“When Morgan was born? I think Rhodey made sure you cancelled it or else he would have flown to the compound to physically fly you out to the hospital.”

Isabella feels bad; she’s the one who lied to Pepper and Carol for weeks. She settles the cup on the coffee table, and hugs the cushion tightly. “I should have mentioned it.”

“Shh, Iz. You didn’t have to.” Natasha says. She opens her arms for another hug, which Isabella gladly dives into. It’s very cute, and so unlike Natasha but Pepper smiles anyway. She will have to ask the spy another day about that, and maybe talk some more about what’s happened in private. Instead, she shifts her attention to the youngest girl.

“Are you doing alright, Isabella?”

“Izzy.” The Princess presses exasperatedly, and it brings a wave of nostalgia and warmth, because she’s always been doing that since two years ago whenever someone called her seriously. “I’m good now.”

“You should come down more often. Give Steve and Nat some space.” Pepper invites, and even Nebula had the audacity to smirk. 

Isabella blushes, while Natasha rolls her eyes. “I try not to intrude in the compound...”

“So, how’s it like?” Carol laughs. Even she knew who Captain America was, way before her time as Captain Marvel. “Dating the Captain?”

“None of your business, Danvers.”

“They are very cute.” Isabella grins, and Natasha places a hand on her mouth before she can say anything else. 

“Are they, what the humans say? Relationship goals?” Nebula asks.

“Okay, who’s been teaching Nebula all this?”

“I’m afraid Tony has.” Pepper answers, ashamed of her own husband. “Wait until you see them playing monopoly.”

“Earth is almost as interesting as Starlord said.” Nebula says pointedly; they were used to her lack of emotion now. “I’ve enjoyed my stay at the cabin.”

“Speaking of which, you could stay a while again. Enjoy it here longer.” Natasha invites Carol, and Isabella nods beside her. She knew Nebula had done it a little while with Rocket, and they enjoyed it. But Carol never liked to stay in one place for long.

“We could take you to a diner near my school.” Isabella grins. She wasn’t quite used to diners, considering she wasn’t American and was always traveling, but Carol did say once that she went to loads in the past before she was Captain Marvel. 

Carol falters; diners had been her and Maria’s thing. Except she’s dead now, and things aren’t as blissful as it appeared in front of everyone. She shakes out of it before anyone, even Natasha, can ask, and smiles at the younger one. “I’d love to go. Maybe this week. There’s not much to do at this point anyway.”

She turns her attention to the television, still playing. There’s a segment about some artist painting a mural for the lost, with streaks of grey and black. If this is what Earth is doing to mourn the dead, she thinks about the rest of the galaxy, struggling to come to terms.

The universe was mourning now – two years in, and it’s this time of the year when they feel it the most. Isabella feels her eyes water at the artist’s close up of her parents, right smack at the side of the screen, so lifelike and majestic it hurt to watch. 

Shakily, she reaches for the tea again, just to avoid seeing the screen, focusing on not spilling the warm drink. Pepper senses the change in mood, and gets up to go grab more snacks – maybe a good movie was better than having to sit through this. “Anyone want some ice cream? Popcorn? We can watch a movie.”

“Movie?” Nebula asks. “I’d very much like to watch Star Wars.”

Carol frowns. “They still make those?”

“Yeah. They even had new ones. Nobody told you to watch Star Wars when you came back? Even Steve’s seen them all.” Natasha pipes up, half surprised and half insulted. “Izzy, please say you have.”

“Um.” Isabella looks down at her tea. “They aren’t really my thing. Not even the new ones.”

“Come on, Nat.” Pepper snorts at the spy’s look of shock and betrayal. “Come grab some snacks with me while we let them figure out the entertainment system. The discs are at the drawer!”

At that, Isabella rolls her eyes. “I don’t need an A.I. to help me play a movie, Pepper.”

While she settles the movie for Nebula and Carol, Pepper brings Natasha to the kitchen. They find the popcorn bags and pop them into the microwave, and Natasha laughs. “Tony knows how to make his own popcorn?”

“Oh, give him some credit, Nat. I make it for him so he doesn’t burn down our house.”

“I don’t think I got over how he decided he’d rather wash plates than bring in a dishwasher, or an A.I. like FRIDAY.” Natasha gestures to the rack of clean plates. Tony Stark doesn’t do things manually. But he’s cut down so much since the snap, and living in the Avengers compound run by his A.I. made Natasha painfully aware of this change in him. 

“I think he’s realized that technology can’t save everything.” Pepper frowns. With all his knowledge and intelligence, Tony nearly didn’t make it back alive. She knew that much, because Nebula once told her when they were alone, and Tony never liked her worrying about this. But Tony still had his bad days. Iron Man may have been saved, but he didn’t save a lot of other people, and Tony felt that a lot. It’s probably why he decided that he was going to move away from the city and retire his suit. 

Natasha nods, simply because they’ve felt this so many times. She hasn’t said a word about the photo frame by the dish rack – it’s one of Tony and Peter Parker, and the kid reminds her of Isabella. He’s young, and she knew that he must have left an impression on Tony for him to be bringing him up. Tony doesn’t reveal things very easily, and maybe she saw herself like him when she decided to bring Isabella back to America with her.

“Nat.” Pepper takes her hand slowly. “I can’t understand how you’re feeling now, but I know maybe Morgan’s making you uncomfortable–”

“Stop, Pepper.” Natasha raises her hand. “Morgan’s fine. She’s still the cutest kid alive.” She bites her lip, and looks away from her former boss. “It’s me who’s being unreasonable.”

“This doesn’t change anything, you’re still Morgan’s godmother. I want you to take all the time you need, and I understand if you don’t feel up to it now.” Pepper opens her arms for a hug, and usually Natasha would groan and wiggle away, but this time she goes in for it and hugs her back. They pull away only when the beeping on the microwave reminds them both that they have popcorn and ice cream to he served. 

“Thank you, Pepper.”

“Any time, Nat.

Natasha opens the microwave and grabs the bowls, while Pepper finds the ice cream in the freezer, and starts taking out scoops of chocolate chip ice cream. “How about Isabella?”

“Hmm?”

Pepper eyes her knowingly. “She’s looking a lot cosier with you.”

“We had a rocky start.” Natasha admits, pouring the hot popcorn straight from the microwave into a large bowl. “But she’s endearingly closer now, I guess. It’s been two years, Pepper. Things change a lot.”

“I know.” Pepper says softly. She doesn’t have to be reminded that it’s been two whole years, no matter how hard everyone wanted to forget. “I have to admit, I was surprised when I heard you decided to be her legal guardian.”

“She was having a tough time, and it’s not like I had a lot of things to do.” It’s been so long since the snap, but Natasha still remembers finding the Princess outside the charity gala, frightened but determined not to go down so easily. Maybe it did surprise her how fast they became close, but Izzy’s a constant in her life now. “Anyway, Steve agreed too. I’m not alone in this.” 

“Yes, Steve.” Pepper grins. “So how did they come about?”

“Not you too.” Natasha rolls her eyes. 

Pepper laughs, taking a tray out and placing the bowls of ice cream onto it. It’s still a relief to see Natasha happy, right now when the Avengers were getting over the snap and loss they had. She grabs the spoons from the drawer, and they start to head out.

“I will get that out of you one day.”

* * *

** _Two years, two months after_ **

Just to get things out of her mind, Natasha buries herself back in her secret project to find Clint again.

It’s not as easy to hide things from Steve now; he doesn’t leave her alone for long. She doesn’t snap back at him for being overprotective – this somehow made him feel better too, and she didn’t want him to worry. Isabella was back in school, a senior now, and hiding things from her were easier when she’s preoccupied with normal student things. 

So she works to bring out old contacts, and compartmentalizes. She enlists F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s help, and finally understands why Tony’s so in love with all his A.I.s and pet projects – they are just so _helpful_. Her contacts don’t reply, and it stuns her how she’s so used to this that she doesn’t question if they disappeared from the snap or not. But it’s not like she has the time to go all the way to Budapest or Russia to track them down; she could barely find Barton, she’s not ready to find a whole truckload of people. 

What would Steve say if he knew what she was doing? She promised never to keep things from him. Except that’s a lie, like most of her past. If Clint doesn’t stop, the least she could do was search for her past life. So the project takes a turn, and she focuses on just doing research. Checking. _Double_ checking. Just like how she had done so before meeting up with Steve and Sam after the airport fight. There were always loose ends to tie up, things to discover, people to check up on, with a past like hers.

Amidst it all, Rhodey comes back news almost monthly that the strike team can’t find Clint. It’s a classified location now, but Natasha thinks maybe Steve might have told Rhodey not to tell her. She’s fine with it; she needed to move on.

A week after Rhodey’s intel, Natasha finds herself alone in the compound. Isabella’s gone to school, and Steve’s out for a quick run despite it being well into the afternoon. She’s supposed to be doing some follow up on Okoye’s messages from Wakanda about some unknown Vibranium traffickers, when F.R.I.D.A.Y. alerts her of an unknown message sent to the Avengers’ email.

“We have an _email_?” Natasha asks aloud. It sounded almost funny.

“Sir had it set up when the Avengers split.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs her. “It was a joke for Ross, but he must have forgotten to deactivate it.”

“Okay, but why would you inform me of this? It could just be junk mail.” 

“Ms Romanoff.” The A.I. replies, sounding almost offended if she could. “It’s addressed to you.”

Natasha’s already keying her passcode into the Starkpad as F.R.I.D.A.Y. helps her open the email. It’s short and precise, and instead of a long paragraph, it’s just a sentence. _How are you?_

Her heart nearly stops when she sees who signed it.

_H._

Hawkeye_._

They always left each other messages when they went undercover or had to lay low for a while. She sent him one after S.H.I.E.L.D. fell, and numerous times before that when they had been partners. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., can we work out where this was sent from?”

“Ms Romanoff.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. might be frowning if she had a physical body. “Captain Rogers said–”

“He’s not here.” Natasha thanks her lucky stars that Steve’s metabolism had him running at bizarre timings. “Please?”

“Already on it. But I will need more messages to determine the exact location.”

She promised Steve she wouldn’t dig in, but Clint willingly sent her a message. Through an email, for God’s sakes. If this wasn’t a sign, she didn’t know what else could she do. She _had_ to do this. She’s also a spy well versed in interrogation tactics, so she has to play this well. 

_Better. You?_

She signs it off with _NR_, and waits. She’s not the Black Widow today, and she deliberately wants him to know this. That she could be trusted, and she’s not trying to find him like the rest of the military was. 

The response is immediate, but he doesn’t answer her question. _You adopted a Princess. _

So he’s been tracking her. It’s slightly easier for him to do this, because of the televised Accords hearing and the whole world seeing her. But they never knew that she and Steve signed those papers to become Izzy’s legal guardian, so he must be hacking into records to find this one out. 

She sends one back quickly. Maybe he’d be lured back in. _No, not adopt. Became her legal guardian with Steve. You’d love her. The compound’s brighter these days. _

“Any luck, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” Natasha asks again.

“Not exactly. He’s messing around with the IP address every time he sends one.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. sounded apologetic for an A.I. 

Ok, so she’ll stall some more. But Clint’s next message has her frowning. _Good. Stop worrying about me, Tash. _

Of course, he would have known she was worried. Yet he’s also risked it to write her nickname. She writes one back anyway. _How can I when you’re being a reckless idiot?_

He doesn’t reply for a good ten minutes. Natasha thinks that she’s blown it. Clint wasn’t stupid either, he would know if she was tracking his messages. “You got it, Fri?”

“I’m sorry, Ms Romanoff. I couldn’t get his exact location.”

She slumps back into her seat, and sighs. She should have expected this. She just needed one more message. Anything from Clint. This couldn’t be how it ended.

Her fingers fly across the keyboard as she types another message. _Tony and Pepper have a baby girl. She’s cute. _

No reply.

She tries again. _Bruce’s combined himself with the Hulk, so the Hulk wears shirts and eats with a knife and fork now. _

There’s still no word, but it’s not like Clint would be tempted to reply over that. Natasha still shudders thinking about how Bruce and her almost had a thing going before. 

She pauses, and types in some more before hitting send. _Steve and I are dating. _

Nothing. She decides this was Steve’s fault if even Clint doesn’t want to comment on it. He’s always been bad at hiding his affection, and she wonders how nobody has spotted it via hologram, even if they visit Stark separately. 

_Lost a baby. _The tears prick her eyes, but she blinks them away quickly. There’s nothing worse than feeling defeated like this, unable to bring back Clint or anyone close to her.

_Come home, Clint._ She decides to stop beating around the bush. She’s taking a huge risk typing his name, and they both know it. She trusts the A.I. to counter any tracking devices anyway, just like how she trusts she’ll be able to find Clint. _You can’t continue down this path._

But his reply is short and simple. _I’m sorry, Tasha._

She wants him to know that he has to come back. She can’t be searching him anymore, and neither can Rhodey. They can’t be beating around the bush anymore, and she can’t stall him forever.

That’s it. There’s nothing else. Clint wasn’t going to stop. He’s not done with is grief yet. She thinks of Steve’s words, and Isabella. Maybe he was apologizing for not being there, or not being able to go back. Either way, FRIDAY doesn’t have a location for her. “My systems can’t find his source, but I’ve pinpointed it to the Middle East.”

It’s not enough for her to search, so Natasha settles her Starkpad down. There’s no way of describing what she’s feeling now – guilt, sorrow, or regret. Maybe all three. 

“Do me a favour, FRIDAY?”

“If it’s within my capabilities, Ms Romanoff.”

“Don’t let Steve know.”

She decides to let Rhodey handle this one. If Clint wanted to be found, then he would. If not, she’ll let it go. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say I was busy :( I'm settling into school, and it's as busy as always. Hopefully I can get the next chapter up within the next month, but who knows? Anyway, thank you for reading! :)


	7. s e v e n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She laughs, receiving his kiss, gently prying his lips apart with her tongue and deepening the kiss a little longer. Then she sighs, stopping before it could become a dirty kiss, clutching his face with her hands. “I love you.”
> 
> “I think that’s my line.” He says, but his heart swells several sizes. She’s not one to express her love so openly, and to hear that, it lifts him so much, he can’t stop the grin from appearing. “But I love you, too.”
> 
> She matches his smile, then lifts her hand to wipe his lips, chuckling at the red lipstick. “I know.”

** _Two years, five months after_ **

They get through another few months, and mostly things are calm. Isabella’s way too busy to be catching up on the rest of the Avengers anyway, but then on the night before her big biology quiz, Tony and Pepper end up at the Avenger’s compound with a fussy child in their arms. 

Turns out their sitter cancelled on them, and they’ve already gotten the private jet and accommodation ready for their wedding anniversary trip to France. Rhodey isn’t in the country, and they didn’t trust any of the other Avengers, except maybe Steve, Natasha and Isabella to take care of their toddler.

“Mama!” Morgan cries, refusing to be put down. She’s not happy to be shuffled out of bed way past her bedtime. 

“We should just cancel.” Tony repeats, looking worriedly as Pepper tries to placate Morgan. It’s close to midnight, and the girl’s still not asleep, coupled with the new environment of the Avengers’ compound? She wasn’t used to all the excitement. 

“No, it’s your wedding anniversary, I’m sure we can handle this.” Steve says, but even he looks worried. That little girl had a set of lungs on her. Not to mention they’ve never taken care of a _kid_ before. They just weren’t ready for this responsibility, and he’s a little concerned for Natasha. 

“No, we can’t.” Natasha shakes her head. She’s been quiet all this whole, not because she’s helpless when children start to cry, but more so because she can’t let them know how _terrified_ she was. She’s still a little scared to face her fears, and maybe Pepper’s totally lost it to handle their child to her. “We don’t have anything prepared. She’d go hungry.”

“Which is why I got everything right here.” Pepper hands her a huge bulky bag that definitely did not look like it was packed for one week, but one month at least. “Milk, diapers, and she eats mostly solids now... so you’ll be fine.”

“We also have emergency numbers. Her paediatrician, ours, our pilot’s, our hotel’s, our– you know what? Pepper, we should just cancel.” Tony rambles, picking up his baby girl again. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Rogers and Romanoff. In fact, Steve had proven to be spectacular with the little girl, even if Natasha doesn’t see her often. And they had the Princess, and Isabella was a natural with his kid. They doted on her like everyone else did, but he’s not going to give Morgan to Nebula and Rocket. It’s just that this would be the first time he would be away from Morgan, and he’s too anxious to even think about a week away from his child. 

“No, you shouldn’t, because Morgan will be fine here.” Isabella pipes in. Pepper and Tony deserve a vacation, if anything. She has Morgan in her arms now, and the toddler was a little calmer, sleepily tucking her head under her chin like how she usually did when she’s being carried. “Trust us, it will be fine.”

Natasha opens her mouth to disagree, but Pepper takes her hands, setting the large bag aside. “Nat, you’ll be _fine_. I promise. I’m always a phone call away.”

The redhead’s starting to think that this was Pepper’s sneaky way of leaving Morgan with her godmother so she could just get over feeling awkward and horrible around the child. But she still thinks it’s too _soon_. She could have this life, a baby and a family, her own green eyes and Steve’s hair, or even her red hair and his blue ones. It’s a devastating feeling, looking at little Morgan and knowing that she can’t have any of that. It’s not just about taking care of their kid, but also having to deal with how she felt about her loss. 

But Steve has one arm around her waist, his light touch comforting, and she sighs. Tony and Pepper couldn’t just dump Morgan with someone they didn’t know. She’s surprised they even thought of a sitter. “Ok, go on your second honeymoon.”

“Thank you!” Pepper beams, pulling Tony away. It’s not his fault he’s so attached, really. But they needed this getaway before they all lost their sanity over a toddler. “I trust you, Nat. If there’s anyone else in this world, you can do this.”

Natasha doesn’t reply, but she’s not going to argue back either. She’s hopelessly outnumbered, and Pepper really should get a break from all this. 

“Ok, we’ll be back in a week.” Tony walks over to give Morgan a little kiss on her forehead, while Isabella holds her steady. “Thanks a bunch, Cap!”

“Not Cap.” Steve mumbles, but Pepper and Tony are already rushing out. So now they have a tiny girl in the compound, and three clueless caretakers. 

“I hate to say this, but I have a Biology quiz tomorrow.” Izzy whispers. Morgan’s little eyes were drooping, and she’s still carrying her. “But I’d skip and–”

“Don’t you dare, Iz.” Natasha warns. She reaches out to grab Morgan, and Steve nods. “We’ll take care of her.”

“But–”

“It’s fine.” Steve promises. He’ll be there. Natasha worries that she’s incapable of taking care of a child, but he knows she’ll be a natural. 

In fact, Morgan’s already dozing off in her arms. _It’s only a week_, she reminds herself. She can do this, and how many kids has she taken care of before? Nathaniel and Lilia, when they were still small, but never more than a day. _Except they are now dead._ The tiny voice at the back of her head reminds her that it doesn’t matter; there’s nothing in the world that can bring back the Barton children. Wasn’t that why Clint’s not here? He would have known what to do. Steve’s not ready for this, and neither is she. Panic seeps in again, followed by the crushing realization that maybe a week was too long.

“Nat? Here, I’ll take her.” Steve sees Natasha’s widened eyes and quickly offers to carry the sleeping child. Maybe he’s oversimplifying this. After all, this almost became his life. He’s not disappointed – he can’t afford to any longer for Natasha’s sake, so he picks up the little girl and clears his head. “Go back to studying, Izzy. It’s fine.” He repeats, Morgan already resting on his chest.

“It’s no trouble, I was planning on heading to bed anyway–”

“Then go to bed. We’ll handle this, promise.”

Isabella eyes Natasha, who’s looking a little shell-shocked, and Steve, who’s carrying Morgan and looking so big all of a sudden. They look like parents, they do, but she doesn’t want to bring it up. This could have been their life, and for Natasha, maybe it’s still a little too soon to be entrusted with a child as a reminder of her miscarriage. 

Izzy can only hope she doesn’t crumble again. She nods, going over to hug Natasha, who returns it naturally. “Good night, Nat, Steve.”

“Night Iz.”

The adults watch as Isabella trails away to her room. Steve turns to Natasha, concern rising. “You okay?”

“Steve...”

“I know.” He whispers. He’d give her a kiss for comfort if he wasn’t also carrying Morgan. They had to put her down somewhere, otherwise she’d wake up again. They didn’t have a crib, so he’s thinking of putting her right in the middle of him and Nat, but he’s worried she’d feel suffocated. “Let’s put this one to bed.”

“What if we screw this up?”

“We won’t. Nat...” Steve says as they stroll out. “If it gets too much for you, tell me okay?”

“As opposed to now?”

He laughs, seeing her soft smile. He thinks he should go in for a kiss anyway, so he does, leaning in for a quick peck on her cheek. “We’ll be fine.” He says firmly, shifting Morgan. 

“Okay.” Natasha returns his smile, doubtful. 

* * *

Taking care of Morgan is surprisingly okay. 

Natasha isn’t overwhelmed, or disturbed by the kid’s cries. She’s turning two, and is a naturally curious child, putting _everything_ in her mouth. But she’s adorable, and so easy to please, almost like a mix between Tony and Pepper. 

The first day with Morgan and Steve goes out to get a crib for the little girl, so they don’t have to worry about sleeping arrangements. Isabella comes home from school to him cursing over assembling the crib and she’s been laughing for a good hour now. He’s so whipped for little Morgan that it’s starting to show, and Natasha doesn’t have the heart to take away Tony’s credit card since Stark would be doing the exact same. 

They also find out quickly that she hates eating her greens and peas are downright _disgusting_. Morgan puts everything in her mouth except actual food and they’ve taken more baths than meals. And everything is so _tiny_, like her little baby shoes and shirts. Natasha sees why children were adorable. She takes so many photos of Morgan that her whole phone album is flooded with pictures of the little girl. 

But sometimes it’s not easy.

She sees Steve and _knows_ he’s fit for this life. He’s a natural with her, getting her to eat her peas, and even calming her down when she’s fidgety or asking for “Mama” and “Daddy”. She babbles a lot and gets a little teary eyed when it comes to something she hates, like bath time, but she’s still enamoured by Steve. There’s some tiny tantrums about wanting to see Tony and Pepper, but they always settle it with a quick distraction like ice cream, even though they know Pepper might disapprove. 

And it pains Natasha to see him so happy with the child because she knows she can’t give that to him.

“How was your quiz?” Natasha asks Isabella after an eventful lunch. They never really got the chance to talk anymore, going mid-week with Morgan, because all of them needed to put time in to take care of her without things going haywire. She has no idea how the heck Tony and Pepper do it every day. 

Steve was getting Morgan down for her nap, and she finally had time to enjoy some peace. It sounds silly, but after that trip to the Principal’s office, she’s been wanting to talk to the teen about school more. Call it being overprotective, but she just wanted to know if things were alright, instead of being in the dark like before.

“Probably lost a few marks. Worst case scenario I get an A minus.”

“Worst case, huh? Why are you so hard on yourself?”

“It’s because I’m Asian.” Izzy pokes back cheekily, then shakes her head. “I just want to do better.” 

Natasha decides she doesn’t want to press too hard. “How’s Ivy?” 

“Irritating.” Isabella pulls a face. “But I guess she’s keeping the secret, so it’s alright.”

Ivy’s a lot less eager and hyper around her, and it helps. She’s not entirely fond of her new companion, but she does admit it’s less lonely during lunch and in classes. Principal Carson had Ivy transferred to most of Isabella’s classes now, saying she should have a buddy, and Isabella was too embarrassed to deny it. So now she had someone to talk to, even if half the time they were avoiding the white elephant in the room and pretending the meeting at the Principal’s office never happened. 

They work in silence, cleaning the scraps off their plates and loading the dishwasher. “I didn’t think I’d be doing this.” Natasha says slowly, carefully. “Morgan’s a handful, right? No wonder Tony and Pepper were so eager to leave.”

“She has her moments.” Isabella bites her lip, and wonders if she should ask Natasha about Morgan. She’s been ignoring how jumpy Nat was every time the child cried, and whenever Steve played with Morgan, she looked away. “Steve’s really good with Morgan, isn’t he?”

“Well, I think even kids know Captain America.” Nat rolls her eyes. “It’s just in him.”

“But I think you’re really good with her too.”

Natasha freezes, loading the last of the dirty dishes and setting the dishwasher. “You think so?”

“I know so.” Izzy smiles. 

Natasha matches her smile, and maybe she’s gotten over it. Not a hundred percent ready to forget, but she’s ready to find Pepper more often and spoil her goddaughter a little. Steve’s right; what’s done is done, and she’ll never be able to conceive, but maybe she can do good with Morgan.

She heads over to the freezer and pulls out two ice cream popsicles, one for her and one for Izzy. “You’re such a charmer, you know that?”

“So I’m told.” Izzy laughs, unwrapping her popsicle. 

They find Steve with Morgan, and she’s fast asleep in his arms, the _My Little Pony_ storybook right beside him on the counter. He looks at them with a cry for help in his eyes, afraid to even move a muscle – he’s not going to put her back to sleep if she wakes up again. 

Natasha stifles a laugh, her eyes twinkling. Steve smiles a little; seeing her happy was more of a relief for him. Then, in his softest voice, he whispers, “I don’t think I can move her.”

Isabella’s already taking photos, snapping away at his unease. “Just put her down in the crib.” She murmurs. Easier said than done, because the moment Steve tries to move Morgan, she whimpers. 

“Looks like you’ll be here for a while, Rogers.” Natasha says in her already quiet tone, grinning wildly. Morgan looked so tiny in his arms, she hoped that Isabella’s going to send her those pictures too.

He decides he rather try than let her tease him, so he attempts again, lifting Morgan carefully and walking smoothly over to her crib. Then, slowly, he lowers her, until her head touches the soft pillows they got for her a few days ago, and the little girl remains in slumber, out cold to the world.

They make their way out before she starts to wake, Natasha remembering to set up the baby monitor from Pepper’s bag of necessities by her crib. “Okay, that wasn’t so bad.” She hums, smirking as Isabella scrolled through her photo album on her phone, showing her those photos just moments before.

“You two nearly left me alone to nap with her.” Steve accuses, playfully reaching out to grab Isabella’s phone. 

The Princess yelps, giggling as she hid behind Natasha. “You could use some more naps”

“I’m a hundred, not dead.”

“A nap sounds good. She woke you up at five today.” Natasha points out. 

Natasha’s not a morning person, so Steve had gotten Morgan out before she could disturb her any further, and she appreciated that. Isabella, on the other hand, didn’t even hear a peep this morning, and slept through until her alarm rang for school. “See? Morgan wanted to nap with uncle Steve.” Izzy grins.

“Maybe if she didn’t demand for someone to pick her up at five in the morning...” Steve says, feeling a little sleepy himself.

“Well, you could ask for help. I’ll do it next time.” Natasha says this so lightly without a tinge of hesitation, Steve nearly does a double take. 

He knew how Nat felt about taking care of Morgan. She hadn’t exactly volunteered to give Morgan baths, but maybe now she’ll warm up to the child. He still hadn’t followed up with Nat on the Ivy situation last month, and they had sort of left it after Isabella went back to school. But he knows Natasha inside and out, and she’s gone all mama bear on Isabella. And perhaps now, she’s more accepting of Morgan after what she went through the past year.

He leans down to kiss her, despite Isabella’s grimaces. “You’ve done a great job with Morgan.”

“That’s what I said!” 

“You’ve also come a great job with this one here.” Steve laughs, engulfing Izzy in a huge hug before she can hit him playfully. Steve was always one to give bear hugs, and she wiggles her way out, gasping. 

Instead, Natasha smiles. “She’s good on her own, Steve. The best we could ever ask for.”

Isabella’s grin lights up the room, and she’s a little touched to hear that from Natasha. It’s the happiest she’s seen them, and everyone, really. For the first time in years, she’s free.

For the rest of the week, Natasha does warm up a little to Morgan. Steve does her hair terribly, so Natasha takes over hair duty, and subsequently, bath duty. It starts out slow, but Isabella and Steve notice the changes. Not only does Morgan start to trust her godmother more, Natasha lets herself soften a little.

“No.” Morgan mumbles, sliding away from Steve’s grasp. It’s eight on a Saturday morning, and the little girl’s hair was a mess, but Steve couldn’t get her to sit still for a second. 

“Come on, Morgan.” Steve sighs, the brush in his hand. “You’re killing me here.”

“Can I...” Morgan pauses, thinking. They’ve been trying to get her to use her words instead of pointing. “Auntie Nat?”

“I don’t see why not.” Steve smiles, passing Natasha the brush. Morgan giggles as Natasha settles her on her lap, then proceeds to comb through the messy tangles of the child’s bed hair. It’s so cute, Isabella feels like snapping a photo. She does in the end, secretly, but Natasha doesn’t even seem to mind.

“_Kotyonok_...” Natasha laughs when Morgan sneakily tries to run out of her grasp midway through their combing session. She pulls her back, and Morgan pouts, but sits still to let her run her fingers through her tamer hair.

“I hope you didn’t just swear at a kid.” Isabella jokes. Steve laughs, but he’s not fluent in Russian, and she could have if he didn’t know better. 

“It means kitten in Russian.” Natasha smiles, braiding Morgan’s hair into two plaits. Isabella doesn’t get to hear Natasha speak Russian a ton, and she barely even had any hint of an accent, but hearing that one word? It was filled with warmth and love. Beside her, Steve beams, refusing to comment on the endearing nickname. They knew she slipped only when she was feeling particularly emotional.

“Cat?”

“Yes, sweetie.”

The toddler frowns. “Like dogs.”

Isabella snorts.

“Ok, all done.” Natasha ignores her, finally setting Morgan off her lap, and the little girl reaches back to touch her hair. It’s in two short braids, but it feels foreign, because Mama usually did it in two pigtails. She doesn’t complain though, and instead giggles a little.

“I think she likes it.” Steve smiles, snapping another picture. “What do you say now, Morgan?”

“Um....” Morgan pauses, frowning. 

“Do you say thank you?”

“Yeah! Thank you, Auntie Nat!” Morgan turns around, and then reaches forward to wrap her tiny arms around Natasha’s legs. It’s the cutest thing ever, and seeing Nat’s face, she was clearly surprised.

“You’re welcome, Morgan.” Natasha grins, patting her head. She’s cute, alright. And Pepper’s very sly for doing this to her. Seeing the look on Isabella’s face? She knows she’s already taken a photo of that hug too.

When Tony and Pepper come for Morgan, they find Natasha cuddling their little girl on her new play mat that Steve had gotten, giggling and having fun. Tony’s never seen Natasha so relaxed before, and he’s never even seen _Natasha_ so happy in the first place. Nat’s not a smiling, laughing redhead, and she’s landed enough hits on him when he tries to tease her. But he feels his heart warm up seeing her play with his daughter, after all that they’ve been through and lost. 

Pepper’s slightly smugger because she knew that Morgan was too cute for her own good, and Natasha just needed a little nudge. She was already so good with Isabella, she’d have time to feel better about herself and do the same with little Morgan, too. 

“Told you it would be fine.” Pepper whispers as Natasha passes her the toddler. “Did you have fun, sweetie?”

“Mama!” Morgan squeals, laughing as Pepper pecks her on the cheek.

Natasha says nothing, only smiling wryly as Morgan latches onto Pepper.

After they’ve said their goodbyes and exchanged photos, Natasha finds herself a little disappointed to see Morgan go. The little one cries a little, having warmed up to her caretakers, but Steve promises to visit them again soon. They are just a drive away, but even Isabella’s upset – they’ve all grown attached to her in the past week.

“Is it weird how I miss her already?” Isabella sighs. 

“No, I’m feeling it too.” Natasha admits. 

“We can visit them tomorrow.” Steve suggests. He already felt it the moment Tony texted him to let him know they landed safely.

This time, Natasha laughs. “Give them some time, Steve.”

He kisses her temple, smiling. “I love you, you know that?”

“Always.” She whispers, letting him cuddle her. They’ve come a long way, and she’s comfortable with his affectionate side even if Isabella is around.

“That’s very sweet, but I’m literally still standing here.” Isabella rolls her eyes, but secretly she’s happy for them. She knows it’s been a tough few months for Natasha, especially.

“Get used to it, Princess.” Natasha scowls, but she doesn’t exactly push Steve away, and he takes it as a win. 

* * *

** _Two years, seven months after_ **

“Where did you hide Isabella?”

Natasha’s not asking this because she’s worried, but because Steve was being awfully secretive. He gave her some time to slip into a red, backless dress Isabella had picked out, and she had curled her hair in soft waves, the blonde tips spilling past her shoulders and falling over her chest. Steve liked it long, so she hadn’t felt like cutting it, but today she traded her usual braid for the curling iron. 

And the Princess? She was nowhere to be found, although she did leave a very nice note.

_Red lipstick goes very well with this dress. I should know because I’m going to borrow it for prom _ _J_

_p.s. please use protection… ;) _

Natasha follows Isabella’s instructions and paints her lips a nice dark red, smirking slightly. She’d come for her after she figured out what the heck Steve was planning.

“She’s at Tony’s. He promised to teach her physics, and in exchange she can babysit Morgan next time.” Steve answers, and then immediately goes still as he sees her. She’s beautiful, and those plump red lips? He wants to kiss her so badly and ruin that makeup right now, they didn’t even have to leave the compound.

“See something you like, soldier?”

_The little tease._ “You make this so hard, Nat.”

“This? Or you?” It comes out dirtier than she expects, but for the look of lust in Steve’s eyes, that will do. 

“Later.” He says firmly, shaking his head. They had plans to go to, he’s not messing this one up. “Shall we?” He offers a hand which she takes, smirking as he guides her to the car. 

“Where are we going?” Natasha asks, her heels clicking against the pavement. 

“Some place nice.”

“I’ll figure it out.” She narrows her eyes, and he laughs; she’s a spy, of course she will. 

“That’s why I want you to close your eyes.”

“Steve!”

“Please, Nat?” He leads her to the passenger’s seat, landing a soft kiss to her temple before he shuts the door and runs to the driver’s side. 

“This better be good.” She grumbles, but shut her eyes, sulking.

He drives in silence, occasionally shooting down her guesses. Dinner? No, he’s not that boring. Please say it’s not some gala. No, he’d never do that to her. Opera? He actually gets a little nervous at that, but thankfully she lets it slide the moment he lets out a chuckle. 

When they reach, he produces the tickets from his suit pocket, and asks her to open her eyes. Natasha blinks, adjusting to the low light of her surroundings, then focusing on the two tickets Steve’s holding. 

“You’re taking me to the ballet?” She asks, surprised.

“I know you love dancing. And they are performing for a few nights...”

“Steve.” She says, touched. She’s thought of this, but Steve’s not a ballet person, and Isabella has exams to worry about. “Tickets were sold out.”

“I had Tony pull a few strings... Happy birthday, Nat.”

“My birthday was last month.”

“I know.” He grins, then leans down to kiss her, despite knowing her dark red lipstick would end up on him. “Happy anniversary, too.”

“Steve...” Natasha repeats, her eyes shining. “It’s not an anniversary when we had a break in the middle.”

“I don’t count it.” Steve kisses her again, soft and sweet. “Just let me spoil you on our anniversary, Nat.”

She laughs, receiving his kiss, gently prying his lips apart with her tongue and deepening the kiss a little longer. Then she sighs, stopping before it could become a dirty kiss, clutching his face with her hands. “I love you.”

“I think that’s my line.” He says, but his heart swells several sizes. She’s not one to express her love so openly, and to hear that, it lifts him so much, he can’t stop the grin from appearing. “But I love you, too.”

She matches his smile, then lifts her hand to wipe his lips, chuckling at the red lipstick. “I know.”

* * *

** ** ** _Two years, eight months after_ **

Morgan turns two, and there’s not a single little girl in the world that is as spoilt as this one on her special day.

Her gifts are stacked up in Tony and Pepper’s living room, and the Avengers might have gone all out. Not that the little girl minds; she’s in a pink floral dress that spreads out like a ballet tutu, and she’s giggling with all the extra love she’s receiving. 

“No!” The child yells, laughing as Carol tickles her playfully. It’s her new favourite game and Pepper can’t get her to stop, but at least she wasn’t throwing a major tantrum today. The terrible twos were a mess in the Stark household, especially when all Tony did was feed her juice pops.

“My turn.” Rhodey beams, walking over to pick up the child, but Carol stops him with a raise of a hand and clutches Morgan tighter. “You see her too much. It’s my turn now.” She hisses through a smile, hugging the oblivious little girl.

“Auntie Carol.” Morgan grins. “Wanna play?”

“Yes, sweetie.” Carol sticks her tongue out at Rhodey, then scoops the girl up to carry her away from the annoyed man. 

“They are fighting over your kid.” Steve frowns from the couch. Natasha’s leaning against his shoulder at his side, and Isabella’s trying not to move at his other side, because he’s sketching her, his pencil moving furiously against his drawing pad.

“You’re just jealous you can’t have your turn yet.” Tony shrugs, lifting his glass to his lips. Orange juice, because they don’t drink at lunch anymore and this was technically a kid’s party. “You can have her during nap time. I’m sure she’s going to be fun to put to sleep after all this.”

Instead of replying, Steve passes Isabella his sketch pad, and she shrieks, admiring the life-like features of herself that Steve had managed to capture. “You’re amazing, Steve.” Izzy gushes, passing him the pad back. “Now do Nat!”

“I think he’s done enough of me.” Natasha rolls her eyes. She’s not one to sit still, so Steve loved to sketch her asleep. 

“How’s America’s cutest couple?” Carol comes to the couch, setting down beside Isabella. She had been kicked off Morgan babysitting duty by Rhodey and Bruce, and to be fair, she was hogging the child for far too long. All Rhodey had to do was remind Morgan that he was her favourite (and only!) godfather, and the kid goes running over. Nebula’s the most fascinated by the child, and she hadn’t even gotten a turn yet. 

“I’m not cute.” Natasha warns, glaring over, even though Steve gives her a tiny peck on the lips and it’s casual enough for their audience to smirk. 

“She’s not cute.” Tony agrees. “Danvers was talking about Pepper and I.”

“They are very cute, but we have a no kissing when I’m around policy.” Isabella rolls her eyes, getting up to separate Steve and Natasha by plopping herself in between them. 

“You heard the Princess.” Carol smirks, passing Tony a beer Rocket got for them. “You and Pepper are America’s cutest _parents_.”

That’s right, he’s been a dad for two years; he figures alcohol won’t hurt this time. Tony sips on the beer, nodding. “Can you believe she’s two? I still remember when she was so tiny.”

Pepper takes the beer away from Tony, and surprisingly takes her own sip. “You weren’t the one who pushed a baby out.”

Natasha lets out a laugh. “Two years isn’t a long time when you’re busy enough.”

It’s a casual comment, but Isabella knows better. So many things have happened in the past years. She still remembers when they were all sat in the hospital, waiting to see Tony and Pepper’s first child. A year ago, she was still healing from the pain of losing everything and getting used to living with Natasha and Steve. They weren’t even close to what she felt now, relaxed and _happy_ in Tony and Pepper’s cabin by the lake. 

But it’s not the same for everyone. Clint’s still missing, and Natasha hasn’t spoken of him for months, so either Steve’s had a hand in that, or she simply couldn’t get updates any longer. Thor’s still gone – Bruce said he was hopelessly drunk the last time they met. Steve told Isabella once that it took a lot to get Thor drunk; so she knows it’s bad. 

“You think we would have made it this far?” Tony asks, breaking her train of thought.

“I thought you’d give up the moment she threw up on you.” Pepper answers drily. 

“You know it reminded me of my college years.”

“You’re a great dad, Tony.” Steve ignores his joke. He knows Tony’s a little worried about Morgan’s future. How do you shelter a little girl from all of their pasts? 

He still thinks about it. They all do. If only they got to the UN gala earlier for Isabella. If only he’d called Tony before he went on the spaceship. If only they’d gotten to Wakanda and removed Vision’s mind stone before Thanos came down. There are so many scenarios that they could have picked for success on their end, but too many variables that would have prevented that. 

So the fear in Tony’s eyes? It’s real. He’ll never be able to tell Morgan about Peter Parker. Or see Happy and his little girl, one of his best friends if he really thought about it. He only has Pepper and Morgan left, and in extension, the rest of the Avengers who made it through. 

“I can’t imagine Morgan without her dad.” Isabella adds, nodding. She doesn’t know Tony like Steve does, but she’s observant enough to know Tony was a little like Natasha, in some ways. They’ve all lost so much at this point that every small milestone was a celebration. “And she has the best mom too.” Izzy beams at Pepper, who’s gone all teary eyed. 

“I told you she’s a charmer.” Natasha speaks up before they can go sappy on her. She knows Tony’s feeling nostalgic now, because his little girl just turned two, but she’s not here for this. 

“She’s gets that from Rogers.” Carol points out.

“It’s the eyes, I think.” Natasha agrees, reaching over to cup Steve’s face, despite Isabella being well in the way between them. “Can’t say no to that.”

“Is that why you’re dating him, Nat?” Pepper hits back. 

“It’s his ass and you know it.” Tony stands, ignoring Isabella’s groans. “Come on. My daughter’s two today and you guys just want to discuss Steve and Natasha.”

“You started it.” Carol replies drily.

“Children.” Pepper scolds.

“Yes, mom.” They chorus back, and the conversation closes with a round of laughter.

* * *

** _Two years, eleven months after_ **

They’ve all been busy. Natasha’s actually doing a great job with the orphans, and Isabella’s so proud of her for doing everything she can. They look up to her, not just because she’s the infamous Black Widow, but because Natasha has an innate fondness for children that they all recognize. She teaches them ballet, sometimes walking them through self defense techniques, and even successfully baked without burning the whole orphanage down. 

Steve has his own therapy group, and they met frequently enough to talk about ways to move on. Isabella knows he struggles too, but it gives him something different to do, and like Natasha, he’s brilliant at it.

As for Isabella, school’s picking up steam. They have their finals again, and then she’s done for the school term. Next year is senior year, and then she’ll have to consider college, if she was even going. She might turn that down entirely, but there’s still time to decide.

It’s no surprise when the call comes. F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs her on a Friday afternoon, one of the rare days when she’s alone in the compound with no Steve or Natasha. It’s the Caydian minister again, calling for important business that Isabella can sort of guess what it was about. She knows the anniversary was coming close, and this time she doesn’t feel the sense of dread she did the past years.

“We don’t want to pressure you, your highness.” Kang, the minister of foreign affairs, says calmly after briefly explaining his proposition. Like she guessed, they want her back in Caydia to give a speech at her parents’ death memorial. “The people would love to see you again, as well as the cabinet.”

He’s right. She doesn’t really want to avoid it again this year. Last year, she still hadn’t quite grasped things. A year is a funny thing, it’s quite a milestone. But the next year? It’s a little more comforting – you know what’s coming up, and you combine the experience of the first year to help you. Maybe third time’s the charm, and in this upcoming third year, she’ll handle it better.

“I’ll discuss it with my guardians.” Isabella says instead, although the both of them know well enough that she’s old enough to make her own decisions. “Good day, Minister Kang.” 

She spends the rest of the day thinking about her options, abandoning her books. Going back doesn’t mean leaving Natasha and Steve, even though they might try to persuade her. She’s still their Princess, even if she’s given up her duties. At the end of the day, the crown is hers.

But she doesn’t know if she can take it. Public speeches weren’t really her thing, and she’ll have to do it at the garden where her parents were buried, no less. They say time will heal, but will the pain ever go away? She doesn’t think so.

In the end, she isn’t the one to tell Natasha. The redhead comes home around six in the evening, her frown pronounced as she walks in. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. said they called.”

“Yeah, they did.”

“What did you say?”

“I said I’d talk to you.”

Natasha sighs, placing her bag on the counter and taking a seat beside her on the couch. “Izzy, you know I’m going to say it’s your decision to make.”

“I know I just...” Isabella trails off, drawing her thoughts again. “I don’t know.”

“Hey.” Natasha says, taking her hands. “You don’t have to.”

“I think it’s time, though.” Izzy gave a small smile. “I’d like to see Caydia again. We could have a little tour? I do miss the gardens, and maybe my room.” 

Natasha watches her carefully, worry in her eyes. She’s not going to force Isabella to stay in America, but she’s not going to let her go there alone either. “Okay.” She says instead. “You study for your finals, I’ll handle the rest. We’ll talk about the speech later.”

Isabella nods, determined. “Thanks, Nat.”

“For what?”

“For letting me do this.”

“Oh, Isabella.” Natasha places one hand on her cheek, sighing in exasperation. She’s learnt not to hide things from the teenager, so of course she’ll support whatever decision she’s making. “Of course.”

-

On the last day of her finals, Isabella walks out of the classroom feeling dreadful instead of free like the rest of the seniors. It’s technically not the last day of school, because there’s still an entire week of nonsense before graduation, but she’s nervous because straight after that she’s heading back to Caydia.

Everyone’s chatting around the hallways, but she keeps her head low, heading to her nearly empty locker to get her last few items. At least she’s gone through another schooling semester without any more obstructions. 

Someone’s standing by her locker, and she recognizes that brunette anywhere, probably because she’s in every single one of her classes. Ivy Santos has kept her mouth shut the entire year, and neither of them have discussed the strange turn of events. Isabella figures her luck must have ran out by now, because Ivy lifts an arm with a single wave as she reaches her locker. 

“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Um, sure. Let me just get my things for a second.”

Her locker’s literally empty – she takes out her bag and shuts the door, hopefully for the last time in this hallway. 

Ivy looks around, but everyone’s too engrossed in their own post final plans to take notice of the pair. “Are you going back?” She whispers.

Not that Isabella doesn’t trust her, but she still pulls Ivy into an empty classroom and closes the door shut behind them. “For a while, yes.” There’s no point pretending she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. There’s a lot of hype about the Princess going back even if it’s not confirmed.

“Look, I know we’re not close, but will we stay in touch?”

Isabella’s slightly surprised. “You want to be friends with me?”

“Um, why not?” Ivy shrugs. “Carson’s put me in all your classes, and the teachers have me as your desk partner for everything for two whole years.”

“Yeah but... I’ve been lying to you the entire time since I got here. Doesn’t that upset you?”

“You’re a Princess... I get it.” She probably didn’t, but Isabella wasn’t going to interrupt. “Also, I get the whole thing about the Avengers, by the way. Um... remember when I said my cousins were visiting? At Central Park, when I bumped into you and... Captain America.”

How could she forget? She decides to ignore the hesitation in her last point. “Yup.”

“Well, I lied.” Ivy bites her lips, looking down. “It was my mom’s birthday. Um... before the snap, anyway. My dad and I were at Central Park because it’s where they were when it happened.”

There’s a stabbing pain in Isabella; she knows exactly how that feels. “Oh.” 

“Yeah. My father... he’s not a fan of the Avengers. He says if they got there sooner, this snap wouldn’t have happened.”

Some part of Isabella felt like that was true. But she knows the Avengers. They lived with regrets and the consequences, and so did she. And she was there when it happened, saw Shuri disappear in front of her very eyes, just like how she saw the explosion that killed her parents. 

“And you?” Izzy asks instead.

“I think people needed someone to blame. That guy’s dead, so my dad blames the Avengers.” 

Isabella eyes her carefully. For months she blamed herself – her parents’ death was not on the Avengers, no. Maybe the UN, or Thanos, but Ivy’s right; he’s dead. There’s not much you can do about blaming, because people are still dead and there’s nothing left to focus on. 

“I was there when they fought in Wakanda. The Avengers... they’ve lost a lot of their own.” She thinks about Clint, Wanda, Bucky and everyone else her guardians have mentioned over the years. Thor, who hasn’t showed up in the years. “I think sometimes, even they blame themselves.”

Ivy glances up quickly at this, surprised. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why did you choose to hide? Why not stay a Princess in Caydia? Why come to this high school, and stick with the Avengers?”

Someone’s done her research. Ivy looks like she’s been wanting to know this for the past few months. “You were right, in some sense. Captain America and Black Widow did adopt me.” She laughs gently, thinking of the rumour Ivy had spread. “They became my guardians so I could leave. Everyone I used to know was dead, and Caydia didn’t seem like the perfect haven anymore, so I jumped on the chance to go.”

She closes her eyes, thinking about home. “Being a Princess doesn’t mean I’d be happy. After all, it took away my parents, and no amount of money or fame could bring them back. So I decided that I wanted to be my own person, and not the country’s. I wanted to start afresh, you know?” When Isabella opens them again, she hopes the tears aren’t as obvious as they seem. “I shut people out, and they don’t have to hear me talk about all this like I just threw away my whole life.”

There’s silence, and then Ivy speaks up. “I’m sorry to hear that... If there’s any consolation, I always think about my mom. I know it’s not exactly the same, but I think it’s brave how you decided to go back to school instead of staying a Princess.” Tears prick Ivy’s eyes, and Isabella wants to laugh. Here they were, post finals haze, nearly crying in an empty classroom while everyone else crowded the halls talking about vacation plans. 

“You’re not so bad, Santos.” Isabella says after a beat, smiling gently. 

“So will you keep in touch after you run back to be a Princess?”

Isabella shakes her head. “No, I’m still not exactly their Princess... but yes. I can talk to you about absolutely nothing, Ivy.”

Ivy returns her smile, relieved. “After all, we’re pretty good at that, considering we avoided this talk for two entire schooling years.” She rummages through her bag for a pen and paper, then scribbles her phone number. “One more thing, is your name really Genevieve?”

“Isabella.” Then, she decides Ivy’s more than welcome to be less formal. “Or Izzy. And I’m not really a Princess.”

Ivy laughs. “Okay, Princess Izzy. I think you know you are.”

Deep down inside, Isabella thinks of Caydia and knows she’s right.

When they see each other again at the graduation ceremony, she knows she has a friend. Took her an entire year and more, but whatever Steve suggested, it worked. 

They attend her graduation from afar, because Natasha doesn’t want to miss it, and Steve’s adamant that no press would wound up at a high school graduation. She’s okay with having no one go, but they insisted, and even Okoye sends her a gift all the way from Wakanda. The Avengers do, even Nebula and Rocket who have no clue what graduations are on Earth, but she’s still grateful. She doesn’t think much about Thor’s gift – Asgardian wine that Steve goes wide eyed at and then starts giving her a talk about alcohol – but she knows he’s trying, even if they haven’t seen each other since the snap.

For the record, Steve’s right about the press, until Tony Stark and Pepper Potts show up, with Morgan in tow, and suddenly everyone and anyone is there. The reporters snap away, and Principal Carson beams with pride over the newfound exposure. Apparently Tony’s been invited to give the closing speech, and Isabella slumps down in her chair low with her cap down – there’s no way in hell would Stark have agreed to do this if it weren’t for Natasha. Principal Carson’s the most frantic and excited they’ve ever seen her, so Izzy feels a little less guilty for all the trouble she has caused the whole time she’s been at the school.

None of her classmates seem to realize that Tony Stark wouldn’t have gone to a random high school in New York, so she’s safe for now. Even from a distance she can see Natasha and Steve, Nat laughing and Steve smiling with pride. She’ll get them back for this eventually, but for now, she deals with Ivy’s questioning glances by narrowing her eyes and shaking her head – she has nothing to do with this.

“–and you will always remember the fallen, but know that you are amongst the privileged that get to continue, and exploring this world of ours. You lot aren’t Kings or Queens, but today you’ve graduated, so at least party like one for me okay?” Tony finishes, glancing right over in her direction with a smirk, and the crowd goes wild. Isabella’s about to leave at this point, but everyone around her is oblivious, and she wants to keep it at that even though the speech was obviously aimed at her.

They throw their stupid caps in the air, and everyone hugs, already planning their celebrations. Isabella squeezes her way out of the crowd to find Nat and Steve, and subsequently, the Starks. “Are you kidding me?” She hisses, pulling them out of the hall before anyone else sees. 

“Graduating is a big thing, Iz.” Natasha shrugs, placing an arm around her shoulders. 

“Live it up, Princess.” Tony pats her on the back lightly. “How did you like my speech?”

“Tony Stark shows up at a local high school and you ask me how it went?” Isabella asks, deadpanned. “I’m surprised nobody’s found out yet.”

“I like doing this. Gives me good press.” Tony smirks, lowering his glasses. “Honey, humour us. Nat’s never been to one, and Steve’s too old to even think of _going_ to one. Besides, the next one we’ll go to is Morgan’s. You want to wait two decades?”

“He’s right, we were just excited.” Steve ignores Tony – something he often does. He passes the bouquet of flowers he’s been holding throughout the ceremony to the Princess, smiling. “Happy Graduation, Isabella. 

“Thanks, Steve.” Izzy hugs him back, laughing. “And Nat.” She takes a step back to hug the redhead too. Then, after a beat, she rolls her eyes. “And I guess you too, Tony.”

“Wait till you see what Morgan got you, Princess.”

Speaking of Morgan, Pepper runs to them, beaming with the child. “Isabella!” She says, settling Morgan down. “Happy graduation, sweetie. Morgan picked out a gift for you.”

The little girl holds a tiny bear with a graduation cap on, and she looks as if she might have been chewing on its arm the entire ceremony. Still, she’s been running a ton now, so she dashes towards Isabella, excited. 

“Hey baby girl! I’m so happy to see you.” Isabella beams, her bad mood melting away. How could you stay mad while looking at an angel like that? She ignores Natasha’s smirk as Morgan chews on the slightly damp bear. “For me?”

“No! Mine!” 

“Morgan, no. That isn’t yours.” Pepper frowns. “Give the present to Izzy.”

“No!” Morgan yells, clutching the bear tighter. “No, no!”

It‘s still her favourite word, and along with the stumbling and running, they were in for a difficult time with the toddler. Isabella laughs, then picks Morgan up carefully. “It’s ok, you can keep it.” 

“Sorry, Iz. We’re trying to get her to stop, but...” Pepper shakes her head, looking sideways at Tony. “She is _his_ child.”

“Difficult is his middle name.” Natasha says drily as Isabella passes Morgan back to Pepper, ignoring Tony’s attempts to clear his image. “Come on, Iz. Let’s go out and celebrate.”

Sometime during lunch, Morgan gives her the bear, happy and smiling, so Isabella takes it and cuddles the little girl. Natasha doesn’t mention it, but she notices that it goes straight on Izzy’s shelf the minute she goes home, right beside the framed drawing Steve drew of Isabella at Morgan’s first birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been hella busy with school: settling into a new environment, etc... But I will try to finish this fic this year, because I have plans for a follow up :) The chapters are written, but I need to edit them before posting :( Thank you for your lovely comments and thanks for reading, as always!


	8. e i g h t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve stares at the screen in horror as Natasha switches it off again. “Nat, this isn’t a slip up. In daylight? With civilians? He’s out for blood.”
> 
> “I have to.” She looks at the blank screen, her eyes filing with tears. “He has to stop, and I can’t–”
> 
> Her face crumbles as she lets out a soft sob. “I can’t let him do this like how I did all those years ago.”

Isabella flies back to Caydia with Natasha the next day, the high from graduation riding with her. Steve’s staying in America, because even as the yearly anniversary rolls around it’s hard for him too, and he said that he wanted to stay close to his therapy group. Not to mention that Steve was still particularly a celebrity – that would never change, and they wanted it to be as low key as possible. It’s a little strange for Natasha to give Steve a hug and kiss before they left, because she never liked to be too clingy, but this time she properly gives him a huge farewell despite it being only a few days away from him. Isabella turns a blind eye on that; she was probably just being a little too observant.

Maybe it’s Natasha’s plan all along, but seeing Pepper, Tony and baby Morgan before flying? It certainly helped calm her nerves down, especially since they send her a private jet to fly on and she already starts to feel a little jittery when they address her with respect and wait on her hand and foot, reminding her that she’s still their Princess and the weight of her duties sit heavily on her shoulders again.

They ask her to slip on a tiara when they are on-board, right before they are due to leave the airplane. She knows the press must be waiting, because who isn’t? If even Ivy trusted the rumours of her going back to Caydia again, everyone else must think the same. She compiles, and lets Natasha smooth down her hair, trusting in her instead of her own shaky hands.

“Just a few days, Izzy.” The redhead reminds, glancing worriedly. “Or we can turn back–”

“It’s fine, Nat.” Isabella assures her, or maybe she’s assuring herself.

“You know I hate seeing you like this. You didn’t need to enter so publicly.”

“I know... but trust me. Please, Nat?”

Natasha sighs, but ultimately puts her hands down, not before combing a few stray strands of hair back in place. She knows she can’t keep holding Isabella back – Steve’s not here but she promised him she’ll take care of the both of them, and if this was how it would go, so be it. “Ok.”

The Princess of Caydia walks out to a storm of flashes, from the hungry press who’s been trying to catch a glimpse of her for years. But Isabella’s trained for this all her life, and the cameras focus on her as she tilts her head up, keeping her back straightened and that air of confidence around her keeps them satisfied. Natasha hides herself a few steps away, but there’s no need to – they rather focus on the Princess’ homecoming. 

She’s almost proud of her; Isabella was a normal teenager, but in moments like this? She shined and still managed to keep her cool, unlike those starlets they always hear about. She’s been in the spotlight her entire life and she knows what they want, so coming back into it seems almost natural.

After the introduction with the President, Isabella knows she wants to get away from the cameras and bring Natasha around. They spend the next few days doing exactly that, and Isabella shows Natasha everything, from her favourite bubble tea shop to the landmarks her country has to offer. She’s _happy_, and even the thought of the speech doesn’t quite bring her down yet. They call Steve every night and Izzy spoils herself b_y _having a sleepover with Natasha the night before the big anniversary date, just because it feels like home and she’s sentimental. The palace is a place she’s spent her entire childhood in, and her room is still pink and too sparkly for her tastes now, but it’s still _hers_ and maybe sleeping alone isn’t something she wants to do on her final night. 

Natasha indulges her on that, not because she’s feeling sorry for the teen being back in her home, but because she’s slightly worried for the public event. And rightfully so, because she’s always going to have a bad feeling about it.

“Was everything always so... pink?” Nat teases, picking up a pillow that’s in a fluorescent pink shade and hurting her eyes. 

“It’s my favourite colour.” Isabella grins, throwing a pillow at her. 

Natasha only picks out the toys, and leaves the photo frames untouched. That’s for tomorrow, or never. They had a big day ahead, and she’d want Izzy to be well rested.

And so they fall asleep on the canopy bed with the fairy lights against her bed frames, until dawn comes and the maids are politely knocking on her door to prepare her for the day ahead. 

They braid Isabella’s hair into sections and put her in the selected outfit, a black dress that stops mid knee with short sleeves mindful of the sun and heat. There’s also another tiara, and it goes on her head with the same motion it has years ago, with pins scraping her scalp but no mother to scrutinize her. 

In her place is Natasha, who stands aside while they work, quiet and understanding. This is a big day for Isabella, bigger than the Accords hearing, and way bigger than the graduation. Every tiny action eats Isabella alive – no matter how many years it has been, everything reminds her of what she used to do, and what she was. If she shuts her eyes she can almost imagine that night again, and it will take more than the camomile tea they’ve put aside to calm her nerves. 

Natasha doesn’t say much because she’s not going to keep asking Izzy if she’s alright – if she wasn’t they’d be out of here ages ago. The Princess will be strong for the speech, and then they’ll fly back to Steve for the anniversary of the snap. Two years have passed but nothing can keep them from thinking about what they could have had without it. 

“You look beautiful, Iz.” Natasha says softly after the crew have left. 

It’s like deja vu all over again. She’s heard those words before, two years ago during the gala when her mother was checking on her. Isabella glances up at the redhead, and through the tears, it’s like seeing the Queen again. Maybe she’s not ready for this. But she blinks, forcing herself to keep steady. “Thanks, Nat.”

“Always.” If Natasha has anything to say, she doesn’t press. She takes a photo with her phone, and types a message to Steve. “He’ll want to know what he’s missing out on.”

Izzy laughs, reaching out for her phone too. Natasha’s not too bad herself, in a modest figure hugging black dress that reaches down a little longer than she usually liked. “I think he’s more interested in you than me.”

“He better.” Natasha teases, posing for Isabella who takes a snap and sends it to Steve too. It leaves Izzy ten times better, and not as jittery as before – Nat always knew how to diffuse the situation.

They call her a while later, and then she’s nervous again. She’s going to wear out her black ballet flats at this rate that she’s pacing. Natasha follows her all the way until they reach the room where she’ll step out at the balcony to give her speech, before pulling her into a little hug. “You can do this.” She says, her emerald eyes blazing. 

Isabella nods, not trusting herself to say yes. Not yet. “Will you be here?” She asks instead.

“Of course.” Natasha frowns. “Unless you want me to head downstairs? You can see me in the crowd and maybe it will be a little better.”

“No, no...” Last time she looked down from the stage, it was also the last time she saw her parents. Today can’t be the same when she looks down and sees Natasha. “Please, it’s fine up here.”

“I’m just behind you.” The redhead promises. 

They are introducing her and her heart’s beating madly. They’ve done this before, a million times on this balcony where they’ve always given speeches. So why does she feel so nervous? In her mind, she only sees what happened two years ago. They are remembering that today, and here she was, speech in hand and the shakiest steps ever taken. 

Before she knows it, she’s looking down at the palace grounds where there’s a crowd stretching for miles around. It’s the first time she’s here without her parents, and they look up at her expectantly. The balcony is not high; it’s only a story above, but it’s enough leverage to separate herself from everyone far out to see her. 

“Thank you all for coming. I’m honoured to be standing here before you as Princess again.” Izzy starts, placing her speech on the podium. 

“I look out, and what do I see? Only the things I wish my parents were here to view too. You know them as royals, but they were first and foremost mama and papa to me. It’s breaks my heart that I’ll never see them again, just like the millions of others who didn’t get the chance to say bye after the snap. So thank you so much for taking the time and coming down for their memorial.”

She glances down at her speech, and continues – she needs to explain her absence and her decision to stay away from the limelight. 

“I know it’s been awhile, but I can’t be your Princess. I know I’m expected to continue what we’ve always done as a royal family but that’s not what I’m meant to do anymore. In the past two years, I’ve tried to find myself again, and get over the losses.” She shakes her head, her eyes shining. “We continue with our lives, with what we have left. I’ve been told that time heals, but we don’t forget, do we?”

“No!” Someone yells out from the crowd, and it rings out loudly for everyone to hear – not just the crowd, but the hundreds of thousands, if not millions, streaming worldwide. It’s full of anger, of remorse. He’s not agreeing with her, but rather mocking her statement. “We don’t!” He repeats, forcefully again. 

A man in the front; the crowd around him parts away as he steps forward, even as the security forces rush towards Isabella to pull her away. Right from the balcony, she hears him loud and clear. There’s no ignoring that voice when he’s so close to her, even if he’s separated a floor away. Suddenly, Isabella realizes how dangerous it is for her to be out in the open, in front of an audience this large, and so does security.

“Your highness, we need to escort him out–”

“No.” She raises a hand, stopping them – she’s curious to know what he means. “Let him speak.”

The man does, glaring at her, and even from the distance, she feels his hatred. “You supported the Avengers. And we don’t forget how they abandoned us.”

“I was there when they fought in Wakanda.” Isabella says carefully, her head swimming with confusion. The last time she explained why the Avengers deserved to walk free, they were at the UN hearing three years ago after the snap. “They didn’t abandon us – Thanos was too strong.”

“Your parents signed the Accords.” He reminded her, and by then the security below the balcony have reached him, but Isabella motions for them to stop. “And you turned against them to support the Avengers going free. But it’s too late, they let Thanos go and now my children and wife are gone.” The man chokes back a sob, eyes wide and staring madly at her but she holds his gaze. 

Someone at the back has probably cut off the televised screening, even if they could pick up that one lone man in the crowd anyway, being so far away from the microphones. But Isabella hears him loudly amidst the silent crowd, because he’s right in front and she sees him front and centre. Her heart thumps loudly against her ribcage, loud enough to hear the pounding of her heart in her ears – she’s not ready for this. Nothing can prepare her for anything like this.

Her eyes flash, dark. Ivy’s said this before, about how her dad blamed the Avengers. A lot of people did, but she’s never had one say it to her right in front of millions. The UN might have let them go because there was nothing left to be done, but people don’t forget. Someone shows up beside her – probably the President, but she needs to finish this. 

“My parents wouldn’t have known about the threat of Thanos, and they did what was best in the heat of the moment all those years ago.” Isabella explains slowly. “We’ve all lost, even the Avengers. But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here to pay tribute to the lost souls of the snap, and...” She trails off, her eyes glistening with tears. She’s been trained for this, and she will bring that to good use now, for the sake of this memorial dedicated to her parents. “For all the King and Queen have done in their service for Caydia.”

Although shaky, she clears her throat, and forces herself to continue with the speech, as if nothing has happened, glancing down at her crumpled papers. “When the world finally comes to peace with the snap, we will continue to remember, and move on to–”

“You’ve been fooled by the Avengers.” The man speaks again, and the guards think it’s enough, or they’ve been ordered by higher authority to lead the man away as they swarm in around him, trying to stop him from saying any more. They are a step too late though, because the man picks something up from his sack with his right hand, and Isabella’s eyes widen when she sees it. She’s going to die today. She’s going to die just like how her parents died in that explosion. 

Every single guard has their own weapon raised, but no one moves a muscle except the screaming crowd, because the man is holding a gun and from the looks of it, he’s going to shoot the Princess of Caydia in front of the world. “I want you to know that they let billions die, and I don’t want to be here with them.”

The gun is raised, and he holds it not as a defensive weapon for himself, but casually with no aim anywhere. “There’s nothing that can be done to bring back the dead, but why are they walking free? Tony Stark has his own daughter and wife. Then why can’t I have mine?” The man questions, and Isabella’s lips feel dry as she bites down on them, trying to think of an answer that won’t trigger him. One false move, and he’s going to open fire, and someone might get hurt. 

“What’s your name?” Isabella asks, stalling for time. 

“Xavier.”

“That’s a good point, Xavier.” _Always placate the angry. Make them feel important._ Isabella thinks. “Thanos said that it was random, and–”

“The _Avengers_ said it was random. Have you seen Thanos, your highness? How do you know if you’ve never heard him?”

“Because I trust the Avengers, and it’s not their fault–”

Somewhere in the crowd a noise of protest cuts her off; she’s made it worse. There was clearly growing sentiment against the Avengers, and she was in the heat of it. This was no memorial, it’s being turned into a blaming game. Xavier still has the gun, but the guards try to keep the rest of the crowd in check and no one’s fast enough to see how he starts to aim the gun. 

But it’s not at her, it’s at himself. Isabella’s eyes widen – she’s not expecting this. “Put the gun away, and we can talk.”

“There’s nothing to say. The Avengers killed my family.” Xavier sobs, and the guns around him are lowered; it’s a suicide situation now. “How do I live without them? They told us to move on– _Captain America _told us to move on– but no one can forget. Who do we blame when they’ve already killed Thanos but can’t bring anyone back?”

A hum of agreement from the crowd tells her that she’s outnumbered. There were people out there who still blamed the Avengers, even after so many years, and the UN letting them go clearly did nothing. _I think people needed someone to blame. That guy’s dead, so my dad blames the Avengers._ Isabella thinks of Ivy Santos, back in America and probably watching this with her father. She’s been shielded from all the hate, and deep down, she thinks Natasha might have done this to protect her, and yet she’s been placed right in the middle of all the politics again.

“There’s still plenty to say, sir.” Isabella lowers her voice, trembling. Thanos was dead. They’ve said this thousands of times. Then why can’t they bring the fallen back? She’s here for her parents, for crying out loud, and she’s not so sure if she knows who’s side she’s on anymore. Her guardians kept this from her and made her a fool in her own country. Still, she hears herself pleading for Xavier’s life. “Please, don’t do this to yourself. This doesn’t have to end badly.”

“Don’t be fooled by the Avengers, your highness.” Xavier cocks his head up to look right into her eyes, and she feels the chill down her spine even before she registers what’s about to happen next. “Or you’ll end up like me.”

Someone pushes her down – Natasha, she thinks – but he’s too late, and besides it was never meant for her. The man has a gun in his hands, and he’s not aiming for anyone on the balcony. He positions it right at his temple, and no amount of shouting from her would have saved him.

Isabella hears the gunshot even as she sees him pull the trigger, and there’s nothing she can do but watch him go down, his own blood on security who’s a couple milliseconds too slow in stopping him.

It’s a crazy rush then, but she hears the screams and the thumping of her heart in her ears, adrenaline coursing through her veins. They guide her back from the balcony, and it’s definitely deja vu again, because two years ago she was doing the exact same thing running away from whatever was going on at the gala. It’s so familiar, she doesn’t know how her own body cooperates with her messed up mind.

Someone’s hands find its way to her face, cupping her cheeks gently, but she’s kicking and screaming herself. It takes a while for her to realize it’s Natasha carefully drawing her close after the wild panic plays out and the breathing slows. She clings onto her guardian like a lifeline, and Natasha’s a little surprised herself. She was so sure the deranged man out there would have convinced Isabella otherwise about the Avengers, including herself... They really couldn’t hide things from Isabella anymore, when it was doing more harm than good.

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s alright.” Natasha repeats over and over, wiping the tears from Isabella’s cheeks. 

“Natasha, he...”

“I know, _solnyshko_. I know.” Natasha waves away the security detail, and even the ministers present. It’s mayhem going on outside, but she could handle the Princess.

“Nat, you almost went down. I almost lost you–”

“But I didn’t. None of this is your fault, we should have... I should have known–”

“Did you know that they blamed the Avengers?”

“Yes.” Natasha admits, but it’s the look on her face that Isabella knows there’s more to that. “That’s why Steve stayed behind. It’s been too long and people are getting angry again.” The spy sighs, then pulls Isabella into a big hug, the moment of fear slowly extinguishing – she was so worried that she’d crumble out with the pressure of the speech and handling all that out there alone, and then the worst case scenario happens. “They are doing a memorial in New York, and he’s hoping that it will placate them. But that’s not your problem, I should have known someone would have disrupted things here.”

“Nat...” Isabella trembled, shaking in her arms. She could have handled it better, maybe stop him from speaking. She shouldn’t have done that, she put herself and the people in danger. “He said... he said the Avengers let billions die.” 

“And do you believe that?” Natasha questions softly. Maybe she did. 

Isabella shakes a head, but for some reason, she can’t find the will to tell Natasha that it wasn’t true. The Avengers were never willing to let billions of people fade to dust. Except a small part of her will always know that the Avengers did fail to take down Thanos properly before he got all five stones, and now even Thor, the god of thunder, lived with the guilt of it that he was never sober. 

If Natasha knows she’s hesitant, she doesn’t mention it. “Even years later, people can’t accept it. He clearly had a motive today trying to lure you out. This was his final moment.” 

Isabella’s not so sure. “What do we do now?”

“I’m sure they are arranging flights right now, we need to get back to America.” Natasha hesitates, then straightens her tiara, avoiding her eyes. “Isabella. You are a Princess, no matter what. This... this won’t get any easier. I don’t want to force you to stick with the Avengers. We are no more, you know that at least.”

She knows that Natasha means. They asked her back to speak at her parents’ memorial for a reason – she’s the Princess of Caydia, duties or not, and the people wanted to see her. And they will keep asking her back, even after today. The Avengers were defunct, and she wasn’t a part of their team even if she lived in the compound that was once their headquarters. 

“I’m sorry, Nat.”

“None of this is your fault, _solnyshko_.”

“Maybe if I didn’t say yes, we wouldn’t be here.”

“You needed to see your parents again.” Natasha dabs against Isabella’s cheeks, making sure that the tear stains were gone. She’s not very good in talking about feelings, but it’s not healthy for the teen to stop visiting Caydia just because she was worried of what other people might do. “Izzy, maybe you should stay here this time.”

“No.” Isabella’s quick to turn it down. “It’s not safe here anymore.” _Nowhere is. _

“Isabella. Maybe... maybe he has a point. The Avengers aren’t trustworthy.” At least Natasha knows she’s not. Steve was, and Tony a little, but she’s not cut out for any of this. She’s a trained spy, what the hell was she doing thinking she could fool a teenager into believing that everything was going to work out just fine? It caused them so much today. “If you stay here, we won’t be able to hurt you”

“You’ll never hurt me, Natasha.” Isabella clutches her hands, her grip painfully tight as she stares at her in fear. “Please don’t leave me here.”

Natasha thinks back to when they once tried to send Izzy home, before the Accords hearing. She stares back at her hands, and sighs. Isabella’s stubborn; just like the Avengers, but she’s also too loyal for her own good. 

“When we go back, they might grill you on today. I don’t want that for you.” Natasha warns.

“I don’t care, I can handle it. Please, Nat.”

The redhead only nods, even if she’s sceptical. She doesn’t want Isabella to stay behind, but... what if he’s right? That they could have stopped Thanos, but they failed? The guilt would never leave, and she knows even Steve thinks about it. If they just played their cards right, then maybe no one would have died. “We leave right away.” She says instead, serious. She can’t handle that right now. 

Isabella nods frantically, trusting that she’s presentable enough to leave the room and face the ministers again. They walk out of a controlled mayhem, and someone informs them that they had a flight ready, but it was advisable to stay. Natasha eyes Isabella carefully again, but the Princess shakes her head, adamant on leaving. There’s nothing left behind in Caydia for her to hold onto anymore, not when people were so against the Avengers.

Her mind locks in the image of the blood and gore before she forces herself to clear it out, letting Natasha lead her out of the room with the security detail, nodding as someone explains the situation. They will handle it, as predicted. But she’s not worried about Caydia now. It’s what lies back home that has her thinking. Natasha tended to downplay things for her own good, and she had a nagging feeling that it was the case here if Steve had to stay behind.

What if, the world couldn’t let it go? If they wanted someone to blame? To make sure the Avengers paid for this? She thinks about the Raft, introduced to the UN when the Accords first came into place, and a cold chill runs down her spine at the thought of her guardians being locked up in prison for failing to stop Thanos. 

They reach the Avengers’ compound late into the night, and Steve’s still waiting for them. He rushes to Isabella first, carefully checking her for any injuries even though there are clearly nothing physical. “Oh God, Izzy.”

“I’m fine, Steve.” Izzy replies, muffled against his broad chest as he pulls her into another one of his infamous bear hugs. Then he lets go, and gives Natasha a quick peck on her forehead, eyeing her for any injuries too. 

“We’re fine.” Natasha promises, sensing his worry. Usually she’d take offense that he’d be babying her, but it’s been a rough day and she lets it slide. 

“I’m sorry, Isabella... we should have told you. Tony, he gave that speech because there’s been some bad press. He wanted to be there for you, he truly did – and it turned out that it would be the perfect opportunity to also let the public know that the Avengers aren’t going into hiding because we failed, but because we all have to move on.” Steve explains, turning his attention back to the Princess. He meets Natasha’s eyes, but she’s not sure herself. Isabella hadn’t been as vocal as she would have liked since the speech. 

“I’m not mad, Steve. I just wished you could have told me that earlier. I... I looked like a fool getting mad that people were angry with the Avengers.” Isabella admits, eyes downcast as she avoided both Nat and Steve. “Because I know you guys and I were there but... but I wished people could see that we’ve all been hurting too. I don’t want them to blame the Avengers. What happens if it goes too far and they bring the UN in again? And we do another trial?”

Outside, it seemed perfect. The gang from New York, the six of them, still alive. But Thor’s lost in his own thoughts drunk, and Clint Barton was lost in his quest for blood. Even the rest of them had their bad days, but nobody saw the Avengers as vulnerable. They’ve already went on trial before, but that was during the heat of the moment post snap, when everyone wanted to point fingers at someone – which landed on Ross for starting the Accords and breaking apart the Avengers. But now tensions raised again, because they needed more people to blame. 

“I don’t want to lose you too.” She whispers in a small voice, willing the tears to disappear. They don’t need to make an appearance every year for this anniversary. 

“Oh, Izzy.” Natasha says, slightly emotional too. She feels Steve’s eyes on her, but a hug is long overdue, and while she gave the Princess space during the flight, she wanted to be close to her especially now. She thought a lot during the flight; she couldn’t afford to let a deranged man’s words tear her apart. Isabella was still important to her, and letting her stay behind in Caydia would not have done any good for any of them. 

“Come here.” She sighs, clutching the younger girl in a comforting hug. “You can’t change the people’s opinions. It’s not going to end up badly again, I promise. Rhodey’s in the government’s good books while he’s back with the air force, and no matter what, Stark Industries’ legal department has been taking good care of us.”

“We can only hope people can understand later on. What happened in Caydia today wasn’t your fault. The memorial today didn’t go too badly, and some people are starting to move on, too.” Steve adds, standing by them. “Don’t worry about this, Isabella. It’s going to be fine.”

“Don’t let this take anything away from you.” Natasha nods.

“Okay.” Isabella gives a small smile, never mind that she’s emotionally exhausted.

Three years in, and they’ll learn to deal. Haven’t they been spending all this time just trying to hold their heads afloat and get through life? She’s ready to move on, and she can’t be held down by what the public thought. 

Even if it takes three decades more, she’ll get over this.

* * *

** _Three years, four months after_ **

Everyone else has college and further studies on their minds, but not Isabella. She’s not ready to leave Natasha and Steve, and in extension the rest of the Avengers. She doesn’t even know what she wants to study. She stays with them and not even Steve wants her to make a decision. After what happened in Caydia, he wanted her closer too.

So she continues to help out in the orphanage in ties with the high school, and Natasha does too. The children know nothing about her real identity, not even Nat’s. They been quiet about this, just in case trouble came around and harmed the kids. They’ve been taking in kids with parents who needed some help caring for their children, since Summer break meant that kids were going to be home, so it’s been a blur of activity. They saw so many children sometimes Isabella mixes their names and faces up, but it scares her because it meant that there were orphans and parents out there unable to keep up.

It helps when Isabella’s busy, because it keeps her mind preoccupied so she doesn’t need to think about what’s been going on. It’s calmed down slightly, after the news sites stopped reporting about what happened in Caydia. Stark Industries’ PR team made sure of that, but there are other pressing problems. She knows Nat and Steve wouldn’t want her to know about the protests and marches that have been happening over the lack of punishment for the Avengers. As if they needed to be reminded that the _Accords_ were what stopped them from acting fast enough, but as long as nothing violent happened, the public hate for them was nothing to worry about.

Even if Tony made sure none of them were seen in public, Clint’s still a liability. If they knew he was being Ronin, master assassin, killing all over the world... then maybe the Avengers had to go into hiding again. Natasha stresses out about this constantly, and Steve does everything he can to take her mind off this, just like how they try to take Isabella’s mind off it.

Yet again, the year isn’t as eventful as the last two. Maybe it’s because Isabella’s out of school, and Natasha and Steve have their own activities. She just turned nineteen, and her guardians trust her to be alone. It’s not like Natasha doesn’t have FRIDAY monitoring her, and so she researches on her own.

College isn’t something on her mind, but she still searches on potential colleges and universities. They all look too far away for her to comfortably attend, and she wonders how the rest of her high school classmates were doing. They should be in college now, unless they were like her, and unable to decide. 

The problem wasn’t about getting in. With her grades, she could easily get in most places. Even if she couldn’t, once the administrations saw her name, they’d accept her no matter what. She knows this, because she tried applying to several schools out of curiosity – no college essay included. Her status is enough for Yale and Harvard to send back an acceptance letter immediately, and she kept those hidden from Natasha in the safety of her room.

She will bring up college another day. For now, consider this a gap year. 

It’s raining, and she knows it means that Steve and Natasha’s plan of hiking was probably cancelled. She heads to the gym instead, which is where they’d be if their daily exercise routine was affected. Isabella wasn’t one to go on hikes and run rounds like they did, so it’s still unfamiliar ground to her despite living in the compound for years now. 

She hears the thuds before she sees them, and out on the mats, Steve and Natasha were sparring. From afar, Steve looked as if he might crush Nat, being physically larger. But she held her own, using her smaller physique to fend off his attacks, sliding through areas he wouldn’t have thought of.

Isabella watches until Natasha finds her way up on Steve’s back and transitions up on his shoulders, pressing her thighs against his head. She uses gravity to her advantage, bringing Steve down with a thud on the mat whilst leaping off him smoothly. It’s there and then that Isabella sees why many fear her. _The Black Widow. _She was deadly and graceful at the same time, and by the looks of it, Steve knew it too.

Natasha laughs, crawling on her knees to Steve, who’s still on the floor groaning. She places a soft kiss on his temple, and offers a hand to pull him up. “Told you not to go easy on me.”

“Who said I was?”

“You know from the moment I decided to get behind you that I’d be flipping you.”

“I figured you’d like some fun today.” Steve grins, then turns his attention to the new figure in the room. “Hi, Izzy.”

Isabella’s never seen Natasha fight before, not since the explosion. The Black Widow is graceful. Skilled. Dainty. _Deadly. _And Isabella wants to be able to defend herself, even if Natasha’s adamant she doesn’t need to, and not once has she brought this up since they danced all those years ago. She shakes her thoughts free from her dilemma of what to do next, and looks right at Natasha. “Teach me.”

Natasha’s eyes harden, and she gets off Steve, walking over to her water and towel. “Absolutely not.” The redhead watches Isabella carefully, and shakes her head. “You’re good where you are.”

“Why?” Izzy presses, ignoring Steve’s warning gaze. “It’s not like I’m asking you to teach me how to murder someone. What if I get mugged on the streets? Then what?”

“Then you give him your wallet and I’ll find him afterwards and beat him up for you.” Natasha frowns after taking a long drag from her water bottle. 

“And if I get raped?”

“Isabella.” Steve warns. 

“From now on, you’re not leaving the compound after seven.”

“I’m nineteen! Are you really putting a curfew on me?”

“Nat...” Steve changes tactic. He hates it when Izzy and Nat do this.

“I told you before, Steve. What _we_ do isn’t what she should be doing too.” Natasha hisses back. 

_“_She’s just asking for self defense classes. We could at least do that for her.”

“Then we’ve failed. She doesn’t need to defend herself if we’re putting her in the safety of our hands.” 

“Like when I was talking to the crowd in Caydia? I chose that. Nobody knew what was going to happen, but it could have been me. Maybe he was going to kill me, then himself.” Isabella breaks in between Steve and Natasha before they can argue further. She thinks about this often. How she could have died there. How she could have died right at the UN charity gala all those years ago when Thanos was searching for the stones. She’s had too many close encounters with death to be hiding behind the safety of the Avengers. “What if someone decides to attack this compound?”

“Then F.R.I.D.A.Y. will alert us.” Natasha’s eyes narrow dangerously. “We will not have that discussion again, I told you the Avengers will handle that.”

“And what if you’re too late? Then what? Are you going to put that on your hands, too?”

“Isabella.” Steve cuts in sharply, but it’s too late. The last statement hits a nerve, and Natasha goes still. Too still, and Isabella wonders if she’s gone too far like last time when they were dancing ballet together. While her demons involved the snap, Natasha’s was way deeper, and it’s not in her place to push too much. 

“I’m not having this discussion with you.” The redhead says finally, leaving before Steve or Isabella can stop her. Izzy sighs, watching the gym doors slam behind her. “I’m sorry, Steve.”

“Not as sorry as I am.” The soldier sighs. “You should be allowed to learn how to fight too, Izzy. Just in case.”

Neither of them talk about why she might need to learn how to defend herself. Whatever happened in Caydia weighed down on everyone, but no one wanted to talk about it again. If the man hadn’t pointed his gun right at himself but at her? She thinks about this a lot more than she should. 

“Not without Nat.” She says instead. “Steve, about what I said, I–”

“You were mad.” Steve interrupts gently, as if that was a proper excuse. “Don’t worry, Iz – I’ll talk to her.”

Steve knows Natasha more than Isabella could ever try to, but she can’t let this slide. She doesn’t know Natasha’s story, not like that, and maybe she never will, but she could at least talk to her. Whatever past the Black Widow had, she could only try her best to understand. 

“No, I’ll talk to her.” Isabella stops him. “It’s the only way she’ll listen. I appreciate what you did, sticking up for me. I’m not trying to become like you guys, fighting as an Avenger. I just... I just want to be independent one day, you know? 

Steve looks at her, and he doesn’t see the scared, trembling teen they just saved from the gala all those years ago. He sees someone new, grown from the events of the snap and what happened after. He smiles, reaching out to pull her into a bear hug, and this time she lets him even if she’s usually pushing him away. 

“I’m proud of you, Iz. Even if Natasha doesn’t say it, she is too.” 

“I hope so too, Steve.” She says against his shoulder, trying to match his grin. 

* * *

Instead of Isabella finding Natasha, the redhead does it herself, knocking on her door hours later.

She holds a plate full of pancakes, because that’s the one food Nat could make without burning the kitchen down. “Izzy?”

“Natasha.” Isabella scrambles off her bed, closing her laptop. 

“I’m sorry.” They say at the same time, Isabella more frantic and Natasha sighing. Then Natasha’s gaze hardens, and she settles the pancakes to the side, folding her arms. “You’re not going to say sorry.”

“Why not? I shouldn’t have pushed.”

“And I shouldn’t have said no.” Natasha watches as Isabella looks back, eyes widened. “You were right. I can’t be there for you all the time. And you’re a Princess, there’s always danger around. Besides, you’re a magnet for trouble, you know that?” 

Natasha shakes her head, ignoring Isabella’s snorts of protest. “I didn’t want you to learn how to fight because sometimes I think we’ve gotten too close.” Her eyes land on the photo frame by Isabella’s bedside, eyeing the photo of them laughing, snapped by Pepper back at the lake house. “I’ve had mentees in the past, Isabella. And they’ve never come out the same.”

Isabella takes a moment to digest her words. She’s almost afraid to ask, but curiosity always got the better of her. “Anyone I’d know?”

Natasha’s face changes, and she looks away from the frame. “No. Yelena is dead. Wanda was never one to be trained. I don’t do mentees, not anymore.”

This time, Isabella doesn’t press, but she stores that name in her head. _Yelena. _Russian. “I’m sorry.”

“Not as sorry as I am.” Natasha sighs, then reaches out to grab the pancakes again. “Eat this.”

“Can we share? My peace offering to you.”

“Who made this again?” Nat laughs, picking up the second fork from the side of the plate. “You’re playing a dangerous game, little one.”

“I’m a magnet for trouble, remember?”

-

** _Three years, six months after_ **

“You think we should ask her to consider college?” 

Steve frowns; Natasha doesn’t talk about Isabella unless it’s been bugging her for far too long. He knows she’s hoping the Princess could be more independent on her own, because they were running a risky business. Even though the world was at peace for now, the Avengers were never off duty, and that was what Natasha thought of during those weekly meetings he was gradually sitting out of.

“I thought those self defense classes were going ok? Nat, are you trying to distract her again?” He shakes his head. “You know we can’t shield her from everything. And the hate is dying down.”

“No, Steve.” Natasha settles onto the bed carefully, and he reaches out to her casually. “We can’t keep her here in the compound forever. This isn’t the way to live.”

His frown deepens as he pulls her to his chest, despite the small noise of protest she makes. “Nat... are you planning something?”

“What makes you think that?”

“It’s like you’re trying to get her to move out.” Slowly, he tilts her head to face him so he can look at her eyes. “Are you planning on traveling somewhere?”

“Steve–”

“Is this about Clint?”

Natasha falters. “A year ago, he contacted me.” She admits, waiting for his reaction. He raises a brow, confused. He’s not upset she didn’t tell him, but more of concerned about why she’s telling him this now.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. told me this morning that he slipped up.” The spy looks hopeful. “He’s in Vietnam now.”

“What do you mean slipped up?” Steve asks. “How on earth did he even contact you? What if someone else found out?”

“He found the Avengers’ email – I know, it’s a long story. But Steve, we should find him. Isabella’s old enough to be alone, and–”

“This isn’t about Izzy, Nat. I let it slide how Clint kept in touch with you a year ago yet you didn’t tell me, but this? We can’t go finding him.” 

Natasha’s emerald eyes burn with determination. “I can’t let him continue this. It’s been years, and–”

“And what?” Steve sighs, holding her. He knows she’ll be angry with him for hating this idea. “You can’t control him, Nat. You know this is a bad time, with people starting petitions to put us through trial again. If they find out about Clint, we’re done for. Even Tony’s legal team can’t save any of us. Ronin is not Hawkeye, but he’s still Clint, and as much as I know he’s your friend, he’s a liability now.”

“Okay.” Natasha says, eyes shining. He’s more worried at how she’s handling this. Natasha’s stubborn, and she’ll be fighting to go, not giving in to him so easily. He need to press her for more information, or risk waking up and finding her gone.

“Nat... how did F.R.I.D.A.Y know where he is?”

“Have you seen the news, Steve?” She untangles herself out of his arms, and then proceeds to switch on the television in their room. It’s on a news channel, and the news item is about a gruesome street fight, and the newscaster talks about how the fight happened in the late afternoon, where civilians were going about their way before a bomb went off.

“Eye witnesses say the explosion did not cause any injuries, but at least seventeen are dead after a mass shooting that followed shortly after the bomb.” The newscaster reports, sombre. “Police are looking for any witnesses that can step forward with more information.”

Steve stares at the screen in horror as Natasha switches it off again. “Nat, this isn’t a slip up. In daylight? With civilians? He’s out for blood.”

“I have to.” She looks at the blank screen, her eyes filing with tears. “He has to stop, and I can’t–”

Her face crumbles as she lets out a soft sob. “I can’t let him do this like how I did all those years ago.”

Steve watches Natasha collect herself. Even though he’s seen her at her most vulnerable, this hurt him as much as it hurt her. She’s been handling all the Avengers’ problems, trying to prevent another UN trial, and on top of it, making sure Isabella wasn’t affected like before. And now Clint? She would topple if he doesn’t catch her sooner. 

“Natasha.” He whispers, getting out of bed to draw her close to him again. “That was the past. You’re not that person anymore, and what Clint does won’t bring that back.”

Natasha lets him smooth her hair down and kiss her forehead lightly. “You don’t know what it’s like.” She mumbles, heartbroken. “You’ve been good all your life.”

“I once nearly killed my friend.” Steve counters. What he did to Tony was no excuse. Anyway, Bucky’s dead. It replays in his head, the snap and finding his best friend fade away to dust, still he forces himself to look back into Natasha’s eyes, cupping her face gently. “You can’t control him. And I don’t want you to get hurt when you realize that.”

He kisses her cheek, wiping away another stray tear. “I love you so much, but I need to stop you from doing this.”

“Do you hate him?” She whispers, soft and hesitant. “Clint. Do you think he’s being unreasonable?”

“I’m not going to lie... But he shouldn’t be doing this. You know that. We _all_ know that, and even Rhodey’s scared to bring him in because we don’t know how he’ll clear his name.” Steve pauses, knowing she’s expecting to hear this even if she doesn’t want to. “I’m sorry, Nat. I know he’s your best friend. But... you’re my everything. I can’t let you go after him and get yourself in his mess. Whatever he’s doing, it does not affect you, and you need to know that.”

Natasha nods once; she’s aware of this, except she wishes she could save him before he went this far. It’s what he did all those years ago when he found her, couldn’t she at least return the favour? 

“I can’t promise I won’t leave to find him.” She says finally, reaching up to stop him from interrupting when he opens his mouth to protest on that. “But I understand. Not now. Not while Isabella’s still in the compound.”

He hesitates, wondering if he should press more. But Natasha’s stubborn – they all were, so he leans down to kiss her on the mouth softly, an acceptance for her truthful answer. “Okay.” He breathes, and she lifts her lips into a small smile that makes him feel slightly better again.

* * *

** _Three years, eight months after_ **

“I’m telling you, it’s been far too long. How do I know you haven’t just killed him?” 

Bruce stands along the cliff, looking out at the sea beyond them. He’s made it all the way to New Asgard, and Valkyrie looks at it him like he’s lost it.

“That’s a shitty joke.” She finally says, quirking a brow. 

“You’re saying things like how he’s not ready to meet me. What do you mean ‘not ready’? It’s been three years, Val. Heck, four years soon.” 

Valkyrie tucks her black locks back into her hoodie, keeping the escaping strands away from the wind. “You think it’s been easy for me? The people need a leader. If Thor’s not up to it, I can’t help you because I need to be there for New Asgard.”

Bruce stands by the wind, feeling the breeze on his skin and admiring the ocean before them. New Asgard has become the Asgardians’ fresh start, as the people settled down from the snap and Hela. Valkyrie’s done more for them than Thor has all these years, if he’s too drunk to be even seeing Bruce. The years have been hard on all of them, but perhaps Thor might never recover from this failure. 

_I went for the head._

He knows there’s been growing hate for the Avengers. Nobody could be placated for long, and even though everyone knows there’s just no way to bring the fallen back, the wanted someone to blame. Whatever happened in Caydia was not Isabella’s fault, or Natasha’s, who’s still singlehandedly bringing the Avengers together for weekly meetings about what’s going on in the universe. Bruce knows they’ve all been trying to move on, be it through acceptance, or hate, yet for Thor? He’s lived through centuries of battles and deaths. He’s gone through multiple victories, and a few losses. 

But this? This is nothing compared to all those years of experiences. How do you live with that? The failure of stopping someone so powerful that half of the universe just died from a snap of his fingers? 

“Will he ever come out of his cave?” Bruce asks softly. Suddenly, the wind in his face felt too cold, too piercing.

“I don’t know.” Valkyrie admits. “I’ve thought of cutting his alcohol supply.” She shakes her head grimly. “He nearly thrashed several homes the last time we tried. The people come first, and I can’t fight the god of thunder on this. It’s like taking care of a drunk toddler.”

Bruce grimaces, thinking about Morgan. “Is that why you don’t want me to see him?”

Val pauses, then looks him directly in the eye, serious. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, even when you’ve claimed that you’re not that raging Hulk monster... it’s just that I don’t think you’ll help him much.” Her eyes harden, and he immediately gets what she means.

She thought he might trigger Thor. Damage him further. Alcohol only made him forget, but it never healed him from what happened. Truthfully, he doesn’t know what he might say to Thor. Perhaps coming down wasn’t a good idea after all. 

Valkyrie clears her throat. “I’m sorry, Bruce. Give him more time.”

Bruce wants to tell her that they’ve given him plenty. That humans don’t live long, and that they can’t give him another century to recover. Four years pass by quickly, and he’s missing out on so much. Thor’s missing out on the life they’ve struggled to find after the snap. Morgan, growing bigger in their eyes. Isabella, maturing and finding her own footing. The team, fading into the crowds, a far cry from what they once were.

Instead, he finds himself nodding in understanding. “Next time, Val.” 

* * *

** _Three years, ten months after_ **

_We are sorry to inform that you’ve missed the cut off date for admission. However, the University of Cambridge has a guaranteed spot for you next semester, if you’re willing to accept our offer. Please respond your interest if–_

Isabella doesn’t get to read the rest, because it goes into the pile of similar admission letters on her desk. They all say the same thing, about how she’s missed the Spring admission, even though they were well into late March now, and that she hasn’t responded to any invitation. She should have known they would accept her, because she’s a Princess, and having famous alumni was something all Ivy Colleges aspired to have.

But it’s not really her if they accept her through her status and not her grades. Natasha doesn’t need to know about this, because Izzy doesn’t want to leave her. Steve might be around all the time, but she doesn’t want to go to College when she’s just been stabilized with her new home and family. Natasha was more than her guardian at this point, but her sister, and she doesn’t want to leave her behind. Never mind that the spy could definitely take care of herself, Isabella just wanted to stay. 

So she keeps all these letters and tells no one. She goes to the orphanage to occupy her time with Natasha, then helps Steve with his therapy group by preparing materials with him. They don’t talk about the possibility of going back to school just because she looks busy enough for her guardians not to press her. 

* * *

** _Four years after._ **

A lot of things happen all at once. 

Things got normalized, and their weekly conference calls turn to monthly ones. Carol disappears longer, and Rocket’s emails to Nat became shorter. They weren’t having much to say anymore, but Natasha’s too busy elsewhere to take notice. 

It’s not like Isabella’s at the level of taking super spies and assassins down, but Natasha teaches self defense and ballet at the orphanage, and it helps her relax a lot. Steve’s proud of his girls, he really is – and even with his therapy group he truly believed that they had all moved on. 

Bruce tried to find Thor. He really did, but either Thor has a secret to hide, or Valkyrie’s not able to persuade him to come out of hiding. He worries for the god of thunder, and apparently, he’s too drunk to even take his calls. All his trips down to New Asgard end up being in futile, because he never makes it past Valkyrie. Even after their conversation, he still wishes Thor could come to his senses.

Morgan turns three, and shows she’s truly a Stark by talking non-stop and driving Pepper insane. She’s still surrounded by the Avengers though, and that is one thing that will never change. 

They go over to the lake house more often, and play dates turn into dinners with the Starks. Not like anyone complains, and Steve’s more than happy to take a break from cooking. Especially today, with Morgan discovering that she could play with her food if she sat away from her mother; a perfect opportunity every time her Auntie Nat and Izzy and Uncle Steve came over. So with a fussy toddler complaining about her carrots, Pepper decides it’s time for bed. 

“Mama, no!” Morgan shrieks, hopping off her chair. As the toddler grew, her motor skills got better and there wasn’t an inch of the house that wasn’t baby proofed when she bumped into shelves and fell down way too often.

Isabella catches her before she tumbles to the ground – Pepper and Tony didn’t like to cage her up in baby chairs since she was older now, but the dining chair still proved a challenge for the kid. Izzy figures she’d save Pepper a heart attack if Morgan didn’t fall down. “Morgan, it’s getting late.”

“No, Izzy!” Morgan continues, trying to wiggle her way out of her grasp. 

“Morgan.” Pepper warns, but the little girl’s not one to listen today. Pepper nudges Tony, but he’s usually the more indulgent parent. 

“I’ll give you a dollar if you go to bed now.” Tony tries, and Pepper’s glare only stops him from actually getting a bill. But Morgan hates the idea anyway, shaking her head and yelling her favourite word again. 

“I’ll tuck you in, Morgan.” Natasha offers, and it placates the girl somewhat. 

“Story?”

“Yup.”

“Okay.”

Morgan stops thrashing about in Isabella’s arms, and lets Natasha pick her up gently.

“Can I borrow Natasha for the next year? I’ll return her, promise.” Pepper smiles, exasperated. While Morgan hated bedtime, she liked her aunt enough to listen to her.

“Don’t make this a daily affair, Pepper.” Natasha shakes her head as they head upstairs, the child already tucking her head against Natasha’s chin. 

“Sorry about that.” Tony winces once they leave. “She’s been fussier lately. I get why they call it the terrible twos now.”

“She’s three, Tony.” Steve says drily.

“Not in my eyes! She’s still my little girl! How the heck did she grow so fast?”

“I think you owe Nat a dollar.” Izzy smirks, ignoring Tony’s groaning. 

“I owe her a drink, that’s what.” Tony clears the table, Steve helping him along. “I think we all need a drink. Leave the dishes and sit down.”

Steve and Isabella eye each other, confused. They’ve been over for dinner long enough but Tony’s never asked them to stay longer unless he had something important to discuss. They leave the dishes untouched by the sink, and Tony grabs a couple of beers. Steve takes one, even though he can’t get drunk, and Tony sneaks Izzy a sip although Steve’s frown makes her think twice.

“She’s legal soon, and beer’s not too alcoholic.” Tony waves it off.

“Ok, Tony. What’s going on?” Steve’s not one to beat around the bush.

“I thought we’d like to toast to Isabella getting into MIT.” Tony says, raising his bottle. He glances over to Steve, whose surprise is evident. “You didn’t know? Imagine my surprise when the board asks me to go back to give the welcome speech... and I find out they missed a response from the Princess of Caydia regarding her admission.”

“Isabella?” Steve asks, worried now. “I didn’t know you applied.”

Isabella winces. Maybe the application letters hidden by her desk were all coming back to haunt her. “Everyone was doing them, so I decided to submit everywhere. But... all I did was leave my name and details. I didn’t even write an admissions essay. I barely submitted any grades because I didn’t want them harassing the high school.”

“Oh.” Steve sighs, understanding now. She’s been accepted not because of her abilities, but because of her status. It’s probably why she didn’t want anyone to know. “Isabella... you didn’t have to hide this from any of us.”

“I was going to tell you. Eventually, anyway. Um, then Caydia happened.”

Steve freezes, and catches Tony’s eye. “That was not your fault.”

“You’ve said it multiple times, but I could have handled it better. It’s been months and they’re bringing it up again.” She whispers, pushing the memory out of her head. It’s the one thing that’s been pushing her to do better this last year. Self defense in case things got bad. Making sure Natasha was unrecognized in the orphanage. Keeping up with the news for anything about people’s opinions on the Avengers. 

“We’ve handled it. The Stark Industries legal team is very good.” Tony says, nodding at Steve. He had been working on this to make sure all the Avengers had their privacy, and no one tried anything funny. “Trust me, they are the best. After all, they’ve handled me.”

“Well, ok.” Isabella nods unsurely. “Then, I guess I didn’t really know what to do even if I accepted any offer.”

“Now, I know I’m not really the giving advice type.” Tony starts, eyeing her carefully. “But someday Morgan’s going to go to college, and I’ll be facing this too. If you don’t know what to do, take a longer gap year. What’s another year? You’ve got time.”

“It’s not just about that.” She knows Tony means well – and they did have time on their hands. Everyone did right now, it seems. Even though four years just passed like that and Morgan’s a toddler now, Izzy still remembers holding her for the first time in the hospital room. She could take a longer break, decide later. 

Except that the lack of a dateline made her panic. Time’s not an issue, but she’s aware of how short life was, and how unpredictable it got. Maybe she’s scared to move on too fast. It doesn’t matter that she’ll need to leave the Avengers compound one day, and Steve and Natasha weren’t always going to be there. That was why she got the self defense lessons, wasn’t it? 

“If this is about Nat and I...” Steve peers at the stairs leading to Morgan’s room, where Natasha was with Pepper. “I know you don’t want to leave. And we’re fine with that. In fact, I think Natasha would _prefer_ you don’t leave now.”

“She does look like the mother hen type.” Tony muses.

“She’ll get you for that.” Isabella says, then sighs. “You’re right, Steve. I guess I don’t really want to go yet.”

“Then don’t. Stay here until you’re ready.” 

“I have pulls with MIT too if you really want to.” Tony shrugged. 

“No, I want to get in myself.” Isabella shakes her head. “Maybe applying with my own name isn’t the best choice.”

“Like... a fake alias? You’ve raised a super spy, you know that?” Tony nudges Steve, smirking. 

Steve only ignores the genius. “You’ll get in anyway, I know it. Will you let Nat know?”

“I will, promise.” Isabella says. “Just not now, okay? She’ll scold me.”

Tony lets out a laugh. “See? Mother hen.”

This time, Steve rolls his eyes. “Just wait until Morgan goes to kindergarten.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very long, very due chapter because I had a little free time today! I had this sitting in drafts for the longest time waiting to be edited, but I already have up the entire plan as well as the ending, so hopefully I get to edit those as well. Reaching five years soon! I'm sorry this is so OC centric, but we'll get there, I promise.


	9. n i n e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”Why aren’t you letting me do this?” Natasha finally asks, exasperated. “You don’t own me, Steve. This isn’t any different from me trying to stop you from going after Barnes all those years ago.”
> 
> “Yes it is. Clint is dangerous, Nat. He’s unstable. Nothing has slowed him down, and you can’t think you’ll be able to stop him. Bucky was brainwashed. You can’t seriously think that was the same.”
> 
> “Bucky is dead! They are all dead, and there’s not a chance in hell that we can get them back.” Natasha hits back, enraged, but the moment she yells this, she’s filled with devastation and regret. She’s definitely hit a nerve, because Steve falters, eyes widening in pain. It’s too late to take it back though, and she feels awful for it, but he doesn’t know that. Instead, he lets out a shaky breath, and nods. 
> 
> “It’s different.” Steve repeats, his voice barely above a whisper, quiet and defeated. “It’s different because I love you.”

**Four years and two months after**

“Your highness.” 

Isabella rolls her eyes, taking a delicate sip from the latte in front of her while Ivy laughs. Ivy Santos looks the same after high school, except for the sleek, half _purple_ bob she has that Isabella’s familiarized herself with after being kept up to date with Ivy’s Instagram. She’s still as blunt as ever, and entering Harvard hasn’t changed her a single bit. 

“So how are you? I wanted to reach out, but I didn’t know if I’d be leaving a trail. Did you know that the FBI can see our texts?”

“I’m pretty sure it’s safe to text, Ivy.” Isabella promises, knowing well enough that the Avengers’ compound was hacker free. 

“The last I saw you, you were running away from a shooting scare.” Ivy raises a brow, eyeing Isabella carefully. “So if it’s safe, no texts until now? I almost thought you forgot about me.”

“You know it’s been a strange time.” Izzy raised her cup again, hiding her guilty expression; she’s been hiding from the outside world for too long. “Well, I think I’m fine. One way or another. How’s your dad?”

“Old.” Ivy suddenly develops an interest in her own mug. “Isabella. He’s not going to forgive the Avengers. I don’t think I can lie to you about that.”

“I wasn’t asking about it, I promise.” Izzy says, although part of her wishes that she could change his mind. “It’s fine, it’s not easy to forget.” She thinks about Natasha and Steve, hiding the worst from her. Did they really think that they could hide Clint Barton from her? Part of her knows he’s out there – she still keeps herself updated on the latest news.

“And now? What do you need?” Ivy presses, blunt as always.

“Nothing.” Isabella shrugs. “Can’t a girl catch up with her high school friend?”

“Not if that same ‘friend’ knows her darkest secret.” Ivy pushes her plate away, and watches Isabella seriously. “How are you, really?”

“It’s been a tough year.” Isabella admits, looking around the cafe even though she knows it’s semi empty and they are seated far away from potential eavesdroppers. “Steve and Natasha don’t let me out very often.” She glances over her shoulder again, paranoid even though she was sure Steve would have made sure Nat stayed at home. 

“You do know that referencing them so casually is making me very uncomfortable.... like, they are Avengers.”

“Shh...” Izzy rolls her eyes. “You know who they are to me.”

“Yes, so why are you suddenly asking me out for coffee?”

“Stop being so suspicious.” Isabella picks up her cup again. “How’s Harvard?”

“Medical school is hard. Like remember Ms Lindy’s made to fail quizzes in Bio? Maybe multiply that difficulty by a million and imagine doing those quizzes whilst trying to escape from an exploding building.” Ivy munches on her cake, then pauses, wincing. “Um, never mind.”

Isabella pushes the thought out of her head before she can get offended. “But you’re still going to ace it, who cares?”

“I’m glad you think so. My professor thinks I’m going to screw up Harvard’s perfect reputation.” 

Izzy laughs, shaking her head. She’s forgotten how it felt to be this carefree. Maybe Steve was right about hanging out with other people and letting Natasha go herself.

“How about you?” Ivy presses. “Ok, I know you’re not a normal person. So is college totally not for you?”

“Actually,” Isabella pauses. “I was hoping to get advice from you about that.”

“Okay...” Her friend raises a brow, unsure. “Usually I’d suggest you ask maybe your _guardians_ for that, but um...” Ivy trails off, unbothered to explain her hesitation. “So are you struggling to find a good college? I’d apply for everything first, you never know wh–”

“They accepted me.”

“Who?”

“All of them.”

“_All_ of them?”

“Please don’t make me say it, Ivy.”

Ivy stays silent for a while, and Isabella thinks maybe she’s the biggest douche alive. She backtracks quickly, jumping in to explain herself. “But I’m not here to brag or anything, I just–”

“I get it.” Ivy interrupts before Isabella can launch into a full blown panic attack. “I mean, not really, because I’m not a Princess, but I guess I can sympathize? So... anyone else know about this?”

“Tony, Steve, maybe. I think they just think I got into MIT only, but they might have guessed. And I guess in extension so does Pepper, because she knows everything about Tony.”

“Tony as in Tony Stark, right? And Pepper Potts. The same one at our graduation?”

“Ivy, you know I didn’t ask them to go over.” Isabella rolls her eyes. “I just... I need some advice. From someone who’s actually in college right now.”

“Well, I asked my Dad where I should go.” Then Ivy gulps, unsure. “Um, you didn’t mention the Black Widow. Does she know?”

“Natasha? No.” Izzy shakes her head. “That’s also part of the problem.”

“What’s wrong?”

Isabella sighs. Natasha’s always been secretive, but she reads Isabella like an open book, and keeping this secret tucked away has been especially hard. “When you left for College, were you worried that no one will look after your dad?”

“Kinda.” Ivy frowns, remembering. “It’s just us now, and it’s strange to leave him back home alone.”

“Well, this sounds crazy, but I don’t want Natasha to be alone. I know her, and she’s been there for me all these years, it’s just... it’s strange, you know? I can’t see myself leaving for college – where I have no idea what to do, by the way – and not having to see her or Steve for months.” 

“Then pick a school near them. NYU? You don’t have to go too far.” Ivy suggests patiently. “NYU’s a good school too, and you can go back on the weekends. Any idea on what you might be interested to study?”

“I’ve always liked math... maybe something coding related. Or maybe something way different like art.”

“Yeah, just take all the classes and see what you like. You won’t know until you take that leap of faith, right?”

The thought of college excites Isabella, and maybe makes her slightly nervous. She’s not sure what she should do, but Ivy’s right. Natasha can take care of herself, and she trusts that Steve would be there anyway. It’s time she left the comfort of the Avengers’ compound and found her own way. She can’t be living there forever; she’s not the Princess she used to be.

“Thanks, Ivy.” Isabella smiles, thinking about the pile of letters she’s ready to dive back into at home. “What can I do to thank you?”

“You’ve already treated me with this vanilla latte, so consider it done.” Ivy grins playfully. “Although... could you get me Tony Stark’s autograph? He totally used to be my crush. I know he’s married, but...”

“Ivy, he’s a good few decades older than you _and_ he has a child.”

“I’d still totally smack that. He’s _hot_, Izzy.”

Isabella groans, wrinkling her nose. 

* * *

**Four years, four months after**

Isabella sits Natasha down after their gym session, because she figures it’s the best time when Nat’s a little physically drained to spring the news. 

“Are you pregnant?” Natasha narrows her eyes, impatient.

“No!” Isabella squeals.

“Then stop acting like you’re about to tell me the worst news ever.” Natasha’s face is flushed with sweat after their workout, even if Isabella’s the more exhausted one after sparring Nat. “Is this about your NYU college application?”

Isabella nearly drops her water bottle. “What?”

“Again, it’s not easy to hide things from me.” Natasha sighs, taking the bottle away. “Izzy, I’ve seen those letters piling up in your room. Maybe I did ask FRIDAY to keep an eye on you... but I was wondering when you were going to tell me.”

“How long have you known?”

“Long enough to know you’ve missed _two_ whole semesters.”

That means she’s known way before Tony and Steve did. “Natasha...”

“You’re big.” The redhead gives her a knowing look. “Big enough to know I’m not going to baby you or to make decisions for you. When you blew the candles off your twenty first birthday cake, I wasn’t going to bring this up.”

Reality hits Isabella like a freight train, and she sits up straighter. She’s not a child anymore. She’s legal, meaning Steve and Nat weren’t going to be her guardians forever. She’s free to do whatever she wanted, even if it meant wanting to stay in the Avengers compound with her new family. 

But she doesn’t want to impose on them forever. She wants to try college, to have a life of her own, maybe get an apartment somewhere else. There are lots of things she can do after all the setbacks they’ve gotten over the past few years.

Isabella looks Natasha in the eye, determined. “You’re right. And I think I’m going in the next Fall semester.”

“_This_ September? Like in a few weeks?”

“No, the next. I want a gap year.”

“Another one?”

“This one’s different.” Isabella shrugs. “Tony suggested it.”

“Okay...” Natasha chooses not to question how on earth Stark would have done so. “And what will you do?”

“Figure out where I’m studying. And what I’m doing.” 

There’s a short pause, before Natasha nods. “I’m proud of you, you know that?” Then she shakes her head, a warning glance over. “I don’t say this often, so don’t go mushy on me.”

“We can’t all be like Steve.” Isabella replies drily, knowing well enough that it was Steve’s job to do the heartfelt talks. “But I know, Nat. And maybe next time don’t spy on me through FRIDAY?”

“... I’d think about that one.”

* * *

**Four years, seven months after**

“I don’t know, I kind of like it.” Natasha props her legs on the table, kicking back and ignoring Steve’s light tap on her right knee – he never did like her little habit of leaving her feet up everywhere.

Isabella wrinkles her nose. “I hate it.”

“Thanks, Princess.” On the hologram in front of them, Carol runs a hand through her freshly cut short hair, which was the current topic of discussion. “I knew I could count on your honest opinion.”

“Don’t listen to her, Carol.” Steve frowns, a disappointed glance at Izzy. The younger girl pouts, shrugging. She wasn’t a fan of short hair, which was why her long locks were still way past her shoulders and spilling to her waist. 

“I think you look HOT.” Nebula supplies, popping up on the hologram beside Carol’s. “Slay me, Queen!”

Isabella cringes, then hides her face behind Natasha’s shoulder so Nebula can’t see.

“Neb, are you still talking to Stark?” Carol groans. “I told you he’s not really teaching you anything meaningful!”

“No, I taught her that one.” Rocket emerges out from behind the nodding blue girl. “Have y’all watched this video nonsense about people who do makeup? A little boring to be watching videos on your phones, but ok. Shit, Earth is really wild.”

“Beauty gurus.” Natasha says drily, this time patting Steve on the chest in her own idea of an explanation. “Anyway, I like it.”

“What’s the point? It’s still hair.” Okoye’s been thoroughly unimpressed since the beginning. “Shave it off and we’ll talk.”

“Nat likes it, so all your opinions are invalid.” Carol smirks.

“Why the change of hair?” Steve interjects before Isabella can say her few words. 

“Got tired of maintaining it.” Carol shrugs. “Might go on a mission or two without warning these days and I don’t want to be distracted by _hair_.”

Okoye nods, satisfied. “Still think you could have shaved it.”

“We can’t all look good without hair.” Natasha jokes. “Not even Steve.”

“You’ll still date him even if he was old.” Isabella snorts, then eyes the rest mischievously 

“He is.” Their hologram forms say in unison, and the laughter is enough to make Steve forget that they’ve all just made fun of him.

* * *

**Four years and nine months after**

They spend a lot of time lazing on the couch in the main living room on Sundays, usually in silence, doing their own activities. Steve doodling on his sketchbook, Nat lying her head on his shoulder while sharpening her knives or inspecting her weapons, and Izzy watching Netflix. This Sunday though, Steve’s out for his therapy group, so it’s just her and Natasha, who’s typing something on her laptop.

“Do you ever dream?” Isabella asks randomly, and Natasha stops mid-type.

“Dream?” She repeats, her tone higher with confusion. 

“Yeah, like not a nightmare. A nice dream. The one you wish you could be living in, and when it’s over, you close your eyes and try to drift back into that world.” 

This time, Natasha frowns and closes her laptop. “Isabella? What’s this about?”

“Nothing, I... I was just wondering.” Izzy shrugs. “Never mind, it’s not important.”

“Try me.”

Isabella licks her dry lips, and tries to phrase her words. “The other day, I dreamt that they came back. All of them. Somehow it wasn’t permanent and every single person came back out of the blue, just like that.” Then she frowns, annoyed. “But I kept searching for the people I wanted to see. Like people I knew. And all I saw were people I’ve never met before.”

“Izzy...”

“Yeah, I know.” Isabella shakes her head. “It was a stupid dream. Forget I even mentioned it.”

“What made you call it a dream instead of a nightmare?” Natasha presses. “You sounded upset.”

“I guess I thought it was still a dream because at least people came back.” Isabella forces herself to look back into Natasha’s eyes. “Never mind, it was pointless anyway.”

“Not everyone has the luxury to dream.” Natasha says vaguely, her laptop still shut. She focuses her piercing green eyes on Izzy, who’s feeling slightly embarrassed. “But I think you deserve to dream happier things.”

“So do _you_ ever dream?”

“I think I’ve had more nightmares than dreams.” The redhead frowns, and catches herself before Izzy can apologize for bringing it up. “But that doesn’t mean anything. Don’t let things get to you, Iz. They aren’t real.”

“Okay.” Isabella pauses, then decides to press on. “But what’s your best dream?”

A pause. “I don’t know.” 

“Oh.”

“Don’t feel bad for me.” Natasha chastises, opening up her laptop again. “Are you studying psychology of the mind? I’d reckon you’d be great at that.”

“Huh, maybe I’ll try that.” Isabella makes a mental note to research more on it. “What are you typing, anyway?”

“None of your business.” Natasha smiles, cheeky. “It’s for grown ups only.”

“Aw, Nat! I’m not a baby! You know that.”

“Says the girl who likes to eat cereal for lunch because she wakes up late.”

“It’s only because you can’t cook!”

Natasha hides her smirk behind the screen, and Isabella’s not one to pry anyway. But she still thinks about her dream. The one when everyone came back and she saw people crying tears of joy instead of sorrow for once. A world when everyone thanked the Avengers, and got their family back. 

Softly, she can’t help but ask, “Do you ever think they’ll come back?”

This time, Natasha’s smile fades away. “Isabella...”

“Yeah, I know. Very stupid question.” The Princess shrugs nonchalantly, even though her heart’s beating too fast. “Forget I asked, Nat.”

“Hey, no.” Natasha shuts her laptop again, placing it delicately on the other side of the couch. “It’s not stupid.”

“It is though. They’re dead. What else can you do about that?” Isabella doesn’t mean to make Natasha feel bad, but it indirectly does, because the redhead flinches slightly. Sighing, she shakes her head. “I... I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not yours, either.” Natasha moves closer, settling her hands on Izzy’s cheeks and cupping her face tenderly. “You’re not the only one who feels this way.”

“Is this about Clint?”

Natasha freezes, and her hands leave her face. “What have you heard?”

“You’re not the only one who has F.R.I.D.A.Y. checking on things.” Isabella presses on, even though she knows she’s digging a grave for herself. 

“I apologize, Ms Romanoff.” The A.I. responds before either of them can react. “Her Highness isn’t exactly Captain Rogers, and she was very persistent.”

“I’ve seen the news, Nat.” Izzy explains softly, taking Natasha’s hands. “I know... I know he’s doing more harm than good.”

“You don’t know him personally.” Natasha defends, and then frowns at herself. “Okay, you’re right. I’m hiding this from you, and Steve. He’s not doing well. And I think... I might want to find him.”

Silence.

“You’re stalling.” Izzy guesses. “You’re waiting for me to move out to college.”

“Maybe. And then things keep happening. Morgan’s birthday. Carol’s new ambition to fly herself across to the other side of the universe. Bruce’s book launch party.” Natasha pauses, then sighs. “I keep telling myself that he’ll stop. That he’ll come to terms with it, because everyone else has. Except he hasn’t, and this is wrecking me more than it should.”

“What about Steve?”

“Promise you won’t tell him. He’s already stopped me once.”

“Nat...” 

“You wouldn’t understand, solnyshko. Please?”

Natasha’s right. She doesn’t know Clint Barton. And she can’t stop her like Steve can. If she wants to step out of the compound to explore college and her own life, she has to let Natasha do the same too. 

So Isabella sighs, and nods. “I won’t say a word.”

* * *

**Five years after**

Clint Barton is dangerous.

But only Isabella knows that. Sometimes a news item pops up about fallen gangs, and it gets easier to tell if it’s him or not. Usually, they call for eye witnesses, and nobody can tell what the motive’s for. Those are the times Isabella knows it’s Barton going on his rampage again. He kills with knives and guns, but never his bow and arrow, and that makes things less complicated than it already is. 

Steve _must_ know. He knows enough to control Rhodey from telling Natasha everything, but something’s telling her that Nat is getting too impatient to just sit and wait for intel. 

On the fifth anniversary of the snap, Steve settles Natasha down. “You can’t keep doing this.” He says, running his hand through his hair. It’s been a stressful day, as always when the date comes around. Isabella’s been in her room since lunch, and he doesn’t want to disturb her, not today.

They’ve had a long day, not because of the protests that periodically occur, and return every anniversary. Nothing can satisfy the public anymore, and if people want to be angry on this day, they can. But Steve’s been tiptoeing around this topic for months, if not _years_. He can’t be pretending Natasha wasn’t doing anything, not when his dateline was soon to be up – the moment Isabella left for college, Natasha would start her own campaign to find Barton. 

“Doing what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Tasha.” Steve sighs. “You can’t keep searching for Clint.”

“Why not?” Natasha retorts, defiant. “Steve, it’s been five years. That’s enough waiting, don’t you think?”

“It’s not about that. He’s not coming back, and I can’t let you get tangled in his mess. If they look for him, they’ll be looking for you, too.” 

Natasha freezes, then stands up to face him, her green eyes glaring dangerously. “What did I tell you all those years ago, after I handed you the Winter Soldier’s file?”

“After you disappeared for months?” Steve presses, unwilling to back down. 

“I told you not to pull on that thread.” She frowns, ignoring his dig. “Steve, and what the hell did you do?”

“Don’t bring Bucky into this.” 

“Why not? You went ahead and looked for him! And got caught up in an international manhunt when you refused to stop!” Natasha flares, irritated. “And now you’re telling me not to go after my friend thinking that I’ll somehow to be different from you, and this will stop me? You’re a hypocrite, Steve.”

“It’s different.” Steve argues back, slightly frustrated. He knows they are heading into their worse fight yet, but he wasn’t willing to back down. Not today, not any other day. Five years gone and he’ll never stop to think about how they could have avoided Thanos entirely. If he loses Natasha too, he wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

”Why aren’t you letting me do this?” Natasha finally asks, exasperated. “You don’t own me, Steve. This isn’t any different from me trying to stop you from going after Barnes all those years ago.”

“Yes it is. Clint is dangerous, Nat. He’s unstable. Nothing has slowed him down, and you can’t think you’ll be able to stop him. Bucky was brainwashed. You can’t seriously think that was the same.”

“Bucky is dead! They are all dead, and there’s not a chance in hell that we can get them back.” Natasha hits back, enraged, but the moment she yells this, she’s filled with devastation and regret. She’s definitely hit a nerve, because Steve falters, eyes widening in pain. It’s too late to take it back though, and she feels awful for it, but he doesn’t know that. Instead, he lets out a shaky breath, and nods. 

“It’s different.” Steve repeats, his voice barely above a whisper, quiet and defeated. “It’s different because I _love_ you.”

He sighs, raising his voice a little now. “God, Nat! How stubborn are you? I’m telling you this because I can’t have you running to Barton and then getting caught up in his shit. Before Bucky, before the Accords and before I even knew I liked you, I wouldn’t have thought about all this. But now I have to, because I think about how I can’t _bear_ to go anywhere without you. We’ve been together for years and it’s been five years since the snap but I can’t even think about leaving you, or you leaving me. I love you, and I don’t want you taken away!”

He’s yelling in her face now, and both of them are red with anger, Natasha glaring at him with fury in her eyes. But his last point has taken her aback, and she watches as he sighs again, stepping back to give her space and himself some time to calm down. 

“I need some time away.” He says finally, shaking his head. “It’s not a no. I need to wrap my head around things, and I still have therapy group tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry, Nat.” Steve whispers, watching her try her best not to lose hold of her own emotions. “Maybe... maybe it’s for the best. For now.” It’s not a good time for any of them. He doesn’t want to leave her, not today, but they need some space. Maybe she’ll see his point of view, or he’ll come to respect hers. 

“Okay.” Natasha replies monotonously, pretending not to be too affected when inside, she’s regretting everything. What else was there to say? She’s gone ahead and said the stupidest shit in this argument. Even if Isabella’s heard them from her room, she’d probably agree with Steve. 

And for the first time in five years, she has to watch him walk away from her.

* * *

“You get a reading on those tremors?” 

Something about Steve and Natasha’s fight last night was making things real awkward for Isabella, and things even worse for this month’s Avengers’ hologram chat. It’s a bad time, but for some reason, their monthly check coincided with this date, and after Steve left for his “therapy group” as claimed by Natasha, she’s been acting weird. Izzy knows Steve and Natasha don’t fight much, but this time, it’s affecting Natasha more than ever.

To answer Natasha’s question, Okoye raises her brow, and replies, “It was a mild subduction under the African plate.”

“Do we have a visual? How are we handling it?” Natasha presses on.

This time, Okoye sneaks a worried glance at Izzy before answering. “Nat, it's an earthquake under the ocean. We handle it by _not_ handling it.”

Unbothered, Natasha turns her attention to Carol to ask about her next whereabouts, while Isabella mouths an apology to Okoye, who only nods. She feels Rhodey’s eyes on her too, but she can’t answer any of them. This was between Steve and Nat, and she had her own headaches to settle too.

“I’m heading off somewhere, so you might not see me next month.” Carol replies seriously, picking up on the tension. “I’m sorry I’ll miss your orientation, Izzy.”

“You’re not missing anything, Carol.” Isabella assures. “It’s just school.”

“Ok, Danvers. Well, you know the drill. This channel is always active. So, if anything goes sideways – anyone's making trouble where they shouldn't – it comes through me.” Natasha’s not letting anyone pick up on her mood today, powering through and cutting all unnecessary talk. Although slightly confused, they all nod, and it’s a sign for the call to be cut off. They sign off one by one, until it’s just Rhodey left, and he stares at them both for some time.

Natasha plops herself down on her chair, exhausted and totally unaware of Rhodey’s presence. Isabella clears her throat – a warning to Natasha, who’s so out of it she takes a moment to process.

“Where are you?” The redhead asks, busying herself with the peanut butter sandwich in front of her. Isabella watches as Natasha’s hands shake over the plate, silent.

“Mexico. The feds found a room full of bodies. Looks like a bunch of cartel guys. Never even had the chance to get their guns off.” 

Isabella stills – she knows where this is going if Rhodey’s still here even after seeing Natasha like this, but Nat ploughs through her sandwich, trying to look unbothered. “It’s probably a rival gang.”

This time, Rhodey sighs. “Except it isn't. It's definitely Barton. What he's done here, what he's been doing for the last few years... I mean, the scene that he left... Nat, you _know_ it’s him.”

Natasha pretends to be interested in her food, but she can’t stop the tears from forming, and it scares Isabella more than Rhodey. Natasha’s never done this before. She’s never _ever_ shown vulnerability in front of anyone other than Steve or her, and this time, she’s headed for a breakdown. 

And with Steve absent, Isabella’s not sure what she can do.

She knows they’ve been fighting over this. She’s not a fool, and the moment Steve left for Brooklyn the night before, after their huge fight? Then Natasha covering it up and pretending that he just went for his therapy group, when they both know he would leave in the morning and not the night before? Natasha’s doing that thing when she buries herself in her work, and pretends like she’s doing okay when she’s barely functioning.

“I promised Steve I wouldn’t tell you what I know about him.” Rhodey continues, apologetic. He knows it’s hitting a sore point when even Isabella winces. Maybe this time the lack of Steve is on purpose, but he’s not one to pry. “But I gotta tell you, there's a part of me that doesn't even want to find him.”

“Will you find out where he’s headed to next?” 

“Nat...” Izzy warns. The fight with Steve might have been about Barton, but she can’t let her do this to worsen their relationship. 

As expected, Natasha ignores her. “Please, Rhodey?”

“I’ll try my best.” Rhodey nods, glancing over to Isabella, who only returns the nod. “Stay safe, girls.” Then he’s gone too, and Natasha slumps back into her chair, the last wall of defense she’s holding back gone as she crumbles into her hands, a soft sob shaking her. 

“I’m a mess, huh?” Natasha sniffs, then forces a smile. “You should be at Stark’s, Izzy. Or at Steve’s therapy group. Not here moping with me.”

“He’s right, you know. They all are.” Isabella whispers instead, even though they are not the words she’d want to hear. “And I know Steve isn’t here because he doesn’t want you to find Barton.”

“Except you know I can’t ignore Clint like that.” Natasha wipes her eyes, shaking her head. “Whatever happened with Steve, you don’t have to stay with me.”

“I’m sorry, Nat.” Isabella sighs, distraught at seeing her. “If it helps, I can go find Steve–“

“Don’t.” A new voice comes from behind them, and they don’t have to turn to know it’s Steve himself. Steve sighs, then walks towards them, trying to ignore the tear streaks on Natasha’s cheeks. He knows well enough that it’s partly his fault. 

“You here to tell me I’m wrong, too?” Natasha barely looks at him, and he winces.

“I’m here to apologise.” Steve stops right in front of her, noticing the ballet slippers by the foot of her desk. She danced when she was stressed, and clearly he had contributed to this mess. “Isabella’s right. I can’t hold you back, and neither can any of us.”

Natasha focuses on her bitten peanut butter sandwich, frowning. But she’s not hitting back, so that’s a start, and Steve takes the cue to continue. “You know, I saw a pod of whales when I was coming up the bridge.”

“In the Hudson?” Isabella pipes in.

“Yeah. There's fewer ships, cleaner water.” 

“If you're about to tell me to look on the bright side... I'm about you to hit you in the head with a peanut butter sandwich.” Natasha scowls, but at least she’s answering Steve. He smiles, relieved, and then she shakes her head, unamused.

“What are you doing here, Steve?”

“I told you.” He says, then hands her a bouquet of roses from behind his back. “I’m here to apologise.”

Natasha stares at the roses for several moments, then takes them gingerly. Isabella nearly cries with relief; she’s been anxious about their fight as much as they have been. 

“I’ll... I’ll leave you guys to it.” The Princess decides, taking her cue to leave. Then, for good measure, she eyes Steve meaningfully before she exits the door.

“I’ve had some time to think about it.” Steve says the moment Isabella leaves, then drops down on the seat beside Natasha, pushing her plate away to hold her hand. She doesn’t brush him away, and he takes it as a good sign she’s not going to yell at him. “Not everything has gone horribly in the last five years. If there’s anyone who deserves a chance to move on... it’s Clint, too.”

“Steve...”

“I love you.” He murmurs, and she wants to sigh in exasperation, because of course he does. “And I’m stupid to even let this break us apart. I shouldn’t have left last night, not on a day like that.”

“Why are you making it seem like it was your fault? You’re not the one who brought Bucky up.” Natasha shakes her head again. “It’s more of mine than yours.”

“No, you were right. I’m being selfish, holding you back. You deserve to do what you wish, and if this is what makes you happy, finding Clint... then yes, of course you can. There shouldn’t even be any question about it. We’ve been together for years, I don’t want to throw this away because I’m being overprotective.” 

Then he looks carefully over to her and realizes he’s still holding her hand, so he drops it shyly. “Um... unless you think it’s over, of course.”

Natasha stares at him for a couple of seconds, then laughs, leaning in and boldly claiming his lips with hers, surprising him a little. Except his body reacts before his mind can, and he’s kissing her gently, softly too. “Does this answer your question?”

“I don’t know... I think I need reconfirmation.” Steve replies cheekily, then pulls her up on the desk to kiss her properly again. He’s made a mistake, walking out on her. She’s everything to him, his whole life in her hands, and... he so badly wants to tell her that. That he wants to be with her forever, and he can’t let anything break them apart. His pockets feel heavily all of a sudden, a pressing thought on his mind as he thinks about his future with her.

“We’re okay.” She whispers back, leaning her forehead against his and breaking his thoughts. “I’m sorry, Steve. About Bucky...”

“Shh... you were right. I’m a hypocrite. You warned me about Bucky, you did – and I ignored you. So it’s about right that you ignore me too and go find Clint.”

“Steve...”

“He’s my friend too.” Steve says this so sincerely, Natasha feels slightly bad. “I can’t let him continue doing this. So what if they come for us? Stark’s lawyers have our backs. And Rhodey won’t let them get to us, if it comes to it.”

Natasha places a finger on his lips, and continues. “Five years, Steve. Never mind Clint, we’ve been doing this for half a decade. How the hell do we do this for the next half? You were there. We could have gotten him. We could have stopped this, stopped _all_ of this.”

He knows what she’s saying. He’s been talking about this in therapy for years, and then trying to convince himself, and everyone else the same. “You know, I keep telling everybody they should move on and grow. Some do... But not us.”

“If I move on...” Natasha looks around, sighing. “Who does this?”

“Maybe you don’t have to.” He knows she’s been doing this for way to long, and it’s enough. “Carol is monitoring the Galaxy with Nebula and Rocket. And Earth has Okoye and Rhodey. Remember when I kissed you? For the first time since the Avenger’s base? I told you this wasn’t your job. You don’t have to keep doing this.”

Natasha shakes her head. “I used to have nothing. And then I got this. This job... this family.” She smiles as he kisses her forehead, feeling sentimental. “You... Izzy... even little Morgan. Everyone along the way, and yes, the Avengers.”

Her eyes shine with tears, and he watches her smile through them. “And I was better because of it. And even though they're gone, I'm still trying to be better.”

“You’re the best of us, Nat.” Steve takes her hand. “The orphanage, and the Avengers? No one asked you to run things. And not to mention Isabella. You’ve done plenty.”

“You would have done the same.”

“Except I didn’t.” He frowns, thinking about the jewelry box in his pocket. “Anyway, Nat I–“

“Sorry to interrupt, Captain, but there’s someone here to see you.” 

The A.I. cuts him in the middle of his sentence, cutting to the larger screen in front, and it’s footage from the front gate. Footage, because there’s someone familiar waving into the cameras, except he’s _dead_, and it’s been five years. 

“Um, someone’s at the door.” Isabella pops in, unaware of the tension. “Is that someone you know? Because he looks pretty jumpy.”

On screen, the figure waves frantically. “Hello? This is Scott Lang? We met a few years ago, at the airport? In Germany? I got really big, and I had my mask on. You wouldn't recognize me.” 

Scott Lang, alive unless for some reason the A.I. was glitching and the Avengers’ compound was going down. He was dead; they knew it after the snap and having no response or facial recognition of him anywhere. 

“Is this an old message?” Steve asks, bewildered. 

“It’s the front gate.” Natasha frowns, untangling herself from him. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“This is the current feed, Ms Romanoff.” If the A.I. could sound confused, it was. 

“Scott Lang. Antman.” Isabella finally realizes. Oh god. He was dead, they checked up and had no response, how did he... “Nat?”

“Let him in, F.R.I.D.A.Y.” The redhead decides. “We’ve got some talking to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's coming up soon, and hopefully it will be done by the end of the year! I've had a few ideas on the continuation, but let's not get that far yet :) Thanks for the comments, kudos as always!


	10. t e n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t give him a hard time. Not this time, Tasha. 
> 
> “This is Izzy.” Natasha introduces as Isabella rises to greet her, checking for any problems and finding none, not even a scratch. Steve would be less paranoid, but Steve knew Clint and he was too trusting sometimes. 
> 
> “Isabella.” The Princess corrects stiffly, despite the glare from Natasha. Be nice. Isabella sighs, but she doesn’t budge. Clint Barton doesn’t deserve to call her by her nickname, not yet. 

** _Five years_ **

“You’re supposed to be dead.”

Scott Lang nods, looking down sheepishly. “I heard about that. Um, so before the snap? I was in the quantum realm.” He stops, eyeing everyone in the room. “Um wait, how much do you know about quantum physics?”

“Only to make conversation.” Natasha shrugs. 

“High school science?” Isabella adds.

Steve stays silent. “Just continue, Scott.”

“Alright, five years ago, right before Thanos, I was in a place called the Quantum Realm. The Quantum Realm is like its own microscopic universe. To get in there, you have to be incredibly small.” Scott gestures at himself “You know, Antman.”

“Hope, she is my ah... she was my um...” Scott stammers. He’s explaining science to Captain America and Black Widow, _and _there’s a Princess added to the mix, of course he’s nervous. There’s no reason for the Princess of Caydia to be spotted at the Avenger’s base, and even the vague explanation from Steve Rogers hasn’t really sunk in. Also, Hope’s dead. They’ve been dealing with this for five years when he’s just gotten out. He pushes himself to move on without explaining. “She was supposed to pull me out and then Thanos happened and I got stuck in there.

“I’m sorry for your loss. That must have been a very long five years.” The words come out of Natasha’s mouth like it has for the past five years every time someone talks about their story with the snap. 

“Except it wasn't. For me, it was five _hours_. See, the rules of Quantum realm aren't like they are up here. Everything is unpredictable.” Scott pauses, frowning, and his stomach agrees. “Hold on, Is that anybody's sandwich? I‘m starving.” He asks, eyeing Natasha’s sandwich, and she wordlessly slides the plate over, not before glancing over to Steve silently. “Anyway, I can’t have been in there for five years. But somehow, I have? I went to see Cassie – my daughter – and she’s _big_now. This is crazy.”

“Okay.” Isabella says, looking over at Natasha. As far as superheroes go, Scott Lang is currently eating a sandwich, and rambling incoherently. “You’re saying you shrunk, got lost in some quantum world, and then got big again, but it all felt like it was five hours.”

“Yeah.” Scott stops mid bite, and realizes who just spoke to him. “Um, do I... do I have to bow, your highness?”

Isabella watches him, speechless; she hasn’t really encountered anyone like him for years. “If your explanation makes sense, you can do whatever you want.”

“Okay.” Scott says slowly, eyeing Natasha, who’s smirking openly. “Yeah, I can do that. What I am saying is... Time works differently in the Quantum Realm. I can't stop thinking about what if we could control the chaos and we could navigate it. What if there was a way we could enter the Quantum realm at a certain point in time, but then exit the Quantum realm at another point in time, like before Thanos.” 

“So like... a time machine?” Steve asks with a hint of doubt in his tone, but it’s the silence that makes Scott do a double take. 

“Like that old movie Back to the Future?” Isabella frowns.

“No, of course not, not a time machine. This is more like a... yeah, like a time machine. I know it's crazy, it's crazy but I can't stop thinking about it. There is got to be some... okay, it's crazy.”

“Scott.” Natasha sighs, glancing over at Steve, and back at Isabella. Then she looks Scott right in the eye, and shrugs. “Nothing sounds crazy anymore. I get emails from a raccoon.” 

“Ok...” Scott doesn’t even want to ask about that. “So, who can we talk to about this?”

Steve grimaces. “He might not agree to this... but I think it’s time to find Tony.”

* * *

They make the trip down to find Tony, because Natasha’s not afraid to admit that she’s not smart enough for anything Scott’s trying to explain. Steve’s given up entirely; he had more faith in Lang than himself. After all, they’ve exhausted every option when Thor killed Thanos five years ago. Isabella just knows this was a long shot, and even if Tony agrees to it, it might not work. In fact, she’s hesitant that Tony will say yes. Scott presses and says they should trust Tony, but he hasn’t been around for the past five years – he doesn’t know what the stakes are for Tony Stark. He doesn’t even know what they are like for Steve and Natasha, and how much they’ll be willing to risk if Tony agrees. 

How much _she’ll_ be risking herself if they all agree.

When they reach unannounced, it takes more than a couple of minutes for Scott to realize why they were all so hesitant. Tony comes out first, and he’s looking a little more aged than Scott remembers. He reminds himself that it’s been five years, and while it still messed with his head, he had to believe it.

“You didn’t call, and you know how Pepper hates feeling unprepared.” Tony narrows his eyes, watching them step out of the car. He does a double take when the fourth figure steps out too. “And you have a dead man beside you. Where did you disappear to, Mr Lang? Haven’t seen you since you became a six foot giant at the German airport.”

Before any of them can explain, Morgan runs out from behind, squealing with excitement. Now _Scott_ does a double take, because that little girl reminded him a lot of Cassie, except Cassie’s now a _teen_ and did he mention that it’s been _five years_? Still, the kid is cute, and obviously Stark’s.

Morgan does that to people; she had the charming effect on everyone, and when she runs up to her aunts and uncle, Scott Lang is shocked beyond words.

“Auntie Nat!” Morgan squeals, launching herself into her favourite godma’s arms. “I missed you!” 

“Hey, pumpkin.” Nat smiles, kissing her nose. Then she passes the giggling girl over to Isabella, who carries her carefully. “We’ll be right there, ok?”

Tony recognizes the serious tone, and quickly starts to analyze the scene. “Ok. What’s going on? You’re not here because you missed Morgan.”

“No.” Steve admits, a hand on Natasha’s shoulder as she watches Isabella glance back at them. The Princess takes off with Morgan, who’s chatting to her and totally oblivious of the mood. She watches until they go back inside the house, where Pepper should be preparing lunch. “We have something important to discuss.” Natasha says finally, finishing for Steve. 

Tony’s eyes glance over to Scott again, and his gaze darkens. “Let’s take a seat, shall we?”

* * *

Morgan talks so fast, Isabella barely has time to catch up. She’s still clouded by what the Avengers were discussing outside, and what Tony will say. They’ve sprung up on him like this, and she knows Morgan will play a big part in what he decides to do. 

It’s not fair to do this to Pepper too, who gives her a hug and kisses her cheek happily in greeting. “Did you come alone, Isabella?” She asks, oblivious of the meeting outside.

“No.” Izzy shakes her head, and puts Morgan down. “Didn’t you say you had something you wanted to show me?”

The little girl nods vigorously, beaming up at Isabella. “I’ll be back!”

Isabella waits until Morgan’s run off upstairs to grab her toy, before continuing. “Pepper, something’s come up.”

“What happened? Is Natasha alright? Steve?” Pepper launches into her questions, anxious. 

“They are fine.” Isabella doesn’t really know how to explain this. “They are outside talking to Tony.”

“Not inside? What’s so important that they can’t have their conversation here?”

“What if... what if I told you there might be a way to reverse the snap?”

Silence. “Isabella, I know it’s that time of the year...”

“No.” Izzy shakes her head again, sighing. “It’s not that simple. This guy – Scott Lang – he claims he has the knowledge to build a time machine. It’s not just Nat and Steve, Pepper. Scott’s outside too, and maybe you’ll know him better if I said his alias. Antman? From the airport?”

“Isabella–“

“I know this sounds crazy, but he thinks Tony can build it.” Isabellacontinues. “Except, I don’t know if he will. Also, I don’t know if I want to see it work. This is absolutely crazy, I don’t care if I’ve seen aliens, and I’m technically friends with an A.I. at home. I mean, I live with the Avengers, isn’t that crazy enough? But this–“

“Isabella.” Pepper interrupts, repeating her name for the third time as she clutches her hands to stop her. “Breathe.”

Isabella does exactly that, taking in a huge breath and exhaling slowly for Pepper to see. “They are talking to Tony about how they might want to build something to get all the stones again. But I... Pepper, I don’t want to give Nat and Steve hope.”

She knows that if this is crazy enough to work, they’ll work hard to get their friends back. Clint’s family. Sam. Bucky. Wanda. She thinks about Shuri in Wakanda, and how they all disappeared. There’s one thing certain, and she knows she won’t have hope of seeing her parents alive again, so she’s impartial to all this, but for Nat and Steve, it’s a chance to undo the snap. 

They’ll do whatever it takes to try again.

“You know what I’m going to say, don’t you?” Pepper looks right at her, then avoids her eyes, and Isabella knows exactly what Pepper thinks of this idea. It’s too risky, and why would they change anything now, when their lives were almost perfect? They asked us to move on, so everyone left in the world did. “I don’t know what Tony will say to them. But I do know that this will be on his conscience if he chooses to say no.”

Isabella closes her eyes, and nods. “This is not an easy decision. Especially when... when the stakes are higher now.”

Then Morgan leaps down the stairs, nearly tumbling over but Isabella catches her as she crashes into her with a giant rabbit plush toy that’s almost half her size. “Izzy! Look what daddy got me!”

Beyond all that hope for their old friends, Isabella knows why Tony might say no. If there was any chance the last five years had to be undone... there would be no Morgan. She can’t do this to him, and she especially can’t do this to Pepper or Morgan. She takes the toy rabbit, and forces a smile. “It’s so big, Morgan!”

“He said it could protect me from the monsters under my bed.” Morgan laughs as Isabella takes the rabbit’s paw and playfully pets her nose. “Why’s daddy taking so long to talk? I want to play!”

“He’s busy, sweetheart.” Pepper says, but she gives Isabella a look as she does. She doesn’t know what to say about the time machine idea. Like Tony, she doesn’t want to lose all this. But she knows Tony, and he won’t rest until he can set things right again. This idea, if it’s plausible? It will be all he thinks of until he solves it. 

“Who’s that man?” Morgan asks, as if she suddenly remembered there was someone else. “Is he a superhero, too?”

Isabella holds back a grimace. She’s been obsessed with superheroes lately, but today it’s not any help to be reminding them that. “Maybe.”

“Is he your friend?”

“He’s Steve’s friend.” 

“But not yours?”

Isabella pauses. “I think he’s my friend, too.”

“If Tony says no, you should ask your friend to find someone else.” Pepper says this in a light tone, but Isabella reads into it. She knows Pepper’s warning her not to press Tony. 

“I’ll ask him to stay away.” She promises, nodding once.

“But daddy will say yes, right?” Morgan’s innocence strikes Isabella, but even Pepper’s hesitant. They don’t know what Tony will say to this, or how they will proceed. Still oblivious to the tension in the room, Morgan hugs her toy, leaning against Izzy. “He always says yes when I ask for ice cream.”

Pepper frowns. “You’re not supposed to be eating too much, young lady.”

“Mama, they are yummy!”

“Do me a favour, sweetheart? Could you go out and save your daddy? Remind him that lunch is ready.” Pepper decides enough is enough, and Morgan runs out of the kitchen diligently to carry out her task. 

Alone with Isabella again, Pepper sighs. “I want to be selfish and ask him to say no. But we’ve all lost people... I’d give anything to see Happy again.” She doesn’t elaborate on who that was, and continues. “I don’t know what to tell you, Isabella. And I hope I don’t come off too harsh on you, but do you understand what I said? If Tony backs out, you can’t come back like this.”

Pepper’s only concerned, and frankly, so is Isabella. “If he says no, I’ll ask Nat and Steve to back off. I’m sorry, Pepper. I wish things were better.”

“Don’t we all?” Pepper’s eyes land on the photo frame by the dish rack, but Isabella doesn’t pry on who’s in the photo. She knows it’s Peter Parker, at the very least. No one tells her anything about the lost Avengers, except when small details about them come up in conversations.

The door opens again, and this time Tony’s carrying Morgan back in. He eyes her carefully, and then glances over to Pepper. One look at her expression and he knows the Princess has filled her in. Instead, he settles Morgan down, and lets her run to wash her hands. “They said no to lunch, but if you stay I can always drive you back–“

“It’s okay, I shouldn’t impose.” Isabella knows his answer the moment she hears this. He said no. And she’s not even mad. She bites her lip, trying to think of a better way to say goodbye, but it comes off short. “I’m sorry, Tony. I really am. And... please don’t take it on Nat or Steve.”

“Don’t be.” Tony says curtly, folding his arms. He doesn’t respond to her last request. “Can you see yourself out?”

Pepper’s less cold as she opens her arms wide for a hug that Isabella wordlessly accepts, even if she breaks away too fast. “See you soon.”

As Isabella steps out of the lakehouse, she realizes that she completely forgot to say bye to Morgan. They shouldn’t have came today, because now she feels less certain about the idea. She can’t say bye to the last five years. If they do this, they needed to do this right – bring everyone back, but also make everything stay the same. 

She’s so lost in her thoughts that she doesn’t realize Natasha waiting for her by the steps. The redhead’s eyes were cloudy and unreadable, but Isabella understands Natasha well enough to know that she was upset. “I’m sorry, Natasha.” 

“He’s not the only genius. We’re going to see Bruce.”

“Nat–“

“Isabella.” Natasha stops her, and they pause, even though Isabella sees the car ahead of them where Steve and Scott should be in. “We can’t stop now. Not when we have another _chance_. We’re going to try this.”

Isabella thinks about Morgan again. They don’t hear anything from the house, so maybe she’s not angry that she left without saying bye. But they could lose everything if things went wrong. It’s the determination in Natasha’s eyes that scare her, but it’s also the same fire she once saw five years ago when they had the chance to find Thanos after his first snap. She can’t stop either of them. She was on impartial ground, but she can’t pick a side. 

Win or lose, there would be stakes to pay.

So, she only nods. “Okay.”

* * *

Bruce is more than delighted to see them again, and they meet at the diner near her old high school for lunch. He orders stacks of food, and is already munching on a plate of pancakes when they find him. 

Scott takes a double take – was that the Hulk? Eating pancakes? While wearing a shirt? And was he wearing glasses? “Oh my god.” He murmurs, as Natasha and Steve move ahead, claiming the booth seat beside each other. “Is that safe?”

Isabella fails to hide her smirk. “You’ll get used to it.” She says, settling in the seat opposite Steve, and eventually Scott slides in beside her.

“I’m so confused.” Scott says, glancing at Bruce openly. The Hulk’s really wearing glasses. The Hulk uses _cutlery_, for crying out loud. Five years gone and you’re telling him they toddler trained the Hulk? 

“Been a while, guys. What’s up? Other than that phone call, of course” Bruce beams at them, grinning widely. “How’s America’s cutest couple?”

“Um.” Steve clears his throat, eyeing Scott. They haven’t exactly told him yet, with all the excitement. “We’re good. Bruce, what do you think about Scott’s idea?”

“Oh, hey man!” Bruce pats Scott on the shoulder, who only stares harder at Natasha and Steve. Five years, his daughter is a teen, the Hulk speaks full sentences, and Captain America is dating the Black Widow. This day just got weirder. Bruce shrugs, settling his cup of coffee that looks unusually small in his large green hands. “I think it’s worth a shot. Tony turned it down?”

“He doesn’t think it will work.” Natasha replies softly without an explanation. They know the hidden reason why he didn’t think it would. 

“Oh.” Bruce mumbles, silent for a while. “Well, I think we can try it out. Quantum physics isn’t really my thing, but I got what Scott explained in the phone call.”

“I’m so confused.” Scott repeats, after his name is said. “Are you wearing glasses?”

“Yeah! The Hulk and I are one now!” Bruce says, and then he spots a bunch of kids standing behind the booth. They interrupt their brunch, as if to make a point that he wasn’t just Bruce Banner anymore. 

“Can we have a picture, Professor Hulk? We love your show!” The girl in the front has her phone in her hands, and the other kids nod enthusiastically behind her. At this point, all Isabella wants to do is to leave the diner in embarrassment, and one glance at Natasha and she’s thinking the same. 

“Oh, sure. Do you mind?” Bruce passes the phone to Scott, who’s conveniently beside him. “You do know how to use phones, right?”

“Why not.” Scott mumbles under his breath, and then proceeds to help them take a photo. This was the weirdest day of his life. Now they are telling him that the Hulk’s a celebrity? After all he did at the airport? “Hey, you sure you don’t want to take a photo with me too? I’m Antman! You know, from the German airport?”

The children look at him like he’s crazy. “It’s okay, mister...”

“Oh come on. Not Captain America? A Princess? The Bla–” Scott yelps as someone kicks his shin under the table, and he turns to glare at the opposite side, only to gulp and look away when Natasha meets his gaze, annoyed. “Ok, I get it. Not cool. Here’s your phone.”

“Thanks, guys.” Bruce grins, giving the boy a hi-five and a fist bump to the other kid. “Listen to your parents!” He yells after the giggling children. They wait until the children walk away, chatting over their new photo with Professor Hulk.

“Ok. Five years, and the Hulk is a celebrity. I get it.” Scott apologizes sheepishly. He really doesn’t get it. It’s like the Earth regressed after the snap. 

Steve places an arm around Natasha’s shoulders, calming her down. “We really haven’t been Avengers in the last five years, Scott. The world hasn’t exactly been friendly to us.” 

“I understand.” This, Scott gets. Tony Stark has a kid, and all his knowledge of anything the Avengers has ever done is now thrown out of the way, considering it’s been five years. Cassie did mention what happened after the snap, about how they blamed the Avengers. He sighs, pushing his plate away – suddenly, he’s not really hungry anymore. What has happened? He’s missed out too much of life. This fact is unsettling him, as he thinks about the plan again. If it doesn’t work, he’s wasted their time, and given them hope after all these years. 

“I’ll set up a trial back in the compound.” Bruce shakes his head, moving on. They were here because Scott Lang just gave them hope. And he’ll run that idea. Just because Tony said no, doesn’t mean that he’ll stop too. They deserved to take every idea and try it. “Just... don’t expect so much yet.”

Scott only nods. He’s not in the position to expect _anything_ with that he’s been learning since he got out of the realm. 

* * *

The test runs go horribly (Bruce actually manages to turn Scott into a baby, _and_ an elderly man... Isabella’s just glad she didn’t burst out laughing at baby Scott), and Steve leaves the compound for fresh air before any of them can react. “Let him.” Is all Natasha says when Isabella prepares to go find him, so they leave him be.

Bruce promises he’ll figure things out, but Natasha’s not so sure. She sighs, asking F.R.I.D.A.Y to get Scott a new set of clothes from Steve’s closet, and then pulls Isabella with her to the kitchen. It’s her fault for letting herself hope, and Steve in extension. Isabella watches quietly as Natasha makes herself a cup of coffee. “What did Tony say?”

“He said he can’t leave it.” Natasha stirs her coffee. “And I don’t blame him.”

“What if this takes away the last five years?” Isabella asks softly. She’s thought of this too. Tony’s scared because they don’t know a thing about time travel; heck, all the Hollywood movies don’t count. Except he’s got stakes. A family. But Isabella does too. They all found themselves a family in the past few years, if this time heist took away all that, would it be worth it?

“It won’t.” Natasha says gently, then goes over to grab a teabag and a mug. She fills her mug with hot water from the kettle, and waits for the tea to seep. “Scott doesn’t think that it will change anything.”

“But he doesn’t exactly know what’s going to happen.” Isabella frowns. “We just saw him get turned into a baby.”

“Well,” Natasha pauses, sipping her coffee. “Bruce’s working on it.”

“And Steve?”

“He’s just frustrated. It sounded like Bruce had everything under control there, minus baby and elder gate. Besides, Scott did say he was sent back in time, and if Bruce corrects it, we will be fine.”

Isabella’s not so sure, and Natasha reaches over to grasp her hand. “Izzy, you’re worrying again. I promise, if this goes wrong, we’ll scrap it, ok? No one is going to get hurt. It’s just an idea, and it’s worth a try.”

_For the fallen_. Five years on, and they were still trying to make things normal again. _Some people move on, but not us. _Izzy opens her mouth to speak, but it’s interrupted by Tony Stark, who shows up with Steve looking hopefully behind. 

Natasha gets out of her seat, reacting first. “Stark? What are you–”

“I accept your invitation to this time heist.” Tony says, wiping off his signature glasses smoothly. “I thought about it. And now here I am. You know I never turn down an invitation to a party.”

“You figured something out.” Natasha guesses, and Steve nods. “Tony...”

“Worth a shot.” Tony places one hand on Isabella’s shoulder, and it warms her up even though she has too many questions to ask. What about Morgan? Did Pepper understand his decision? What did he mean by he figured it out? 

But Tony doesn’t answer any of them. Maybe he doesn’t want to, and they just badly wanted this plan to succeed. There was no option for failure. “Get your asses out, we’re having a meeting. And don’t worry, I won’t turn anyone into a baby this time.”

* * *

This meeting only starts when most of them arrive, even if it means waiting a good hour for Nebula, Rocket and Rhodey. Noticeably, Carol isn’t here, but she did have a good reason not to. They don’t call Okoye either, because they didn’t want to burden Wakanda again for this. 

The Avengers sit back in the conference room, where they once were five years ago, deciding where to go and what to do after finding Tony. Before Thor killed Thanos. Before any of this was even a possibility.

And now they had hope. Scott called it the time heist, and the name just stuck, so Tony explains it as well, if not better, the second time round for the newcomers to grasp the idea. Except no matter how well they explained it, Isabella knew that the stakes were high. There was no chance this plan wouldn’t bring about casualties, with all the uncertainty they were going into. 

“I’m going to build a large time traveling device, like the mini one I tested.” Stark whips out a bracelet, rotating it in his hands. “Didn’t think it would work, but it’s a hundred percent success match.”

“That means Lang, we need your quantum knowledge.” Tony points at Scott, who’s munching on his second Taco. “Steve, Bruce, I need your strength.”

“What about my,” Bruce taps his head, grinning. “You know, Brain?” 

“That too, big guy. Can’t forget about that.” Tony says, but they’ve already heard of baby gate, and Nebula rolls her eyes impatiently.

“So we’re really building a time machine. And then what? We just try to get the stones back?” Nebula questions. 

“Build first, answers later.” Tony shrugs. This was a huge leap of faith, none of that moon landing nonsense. “If we keep doubting ourselves, none of this will work”

“Just us? Shouldn’t we call Thor? Or Clint?” Rhodey asks, because they’ve just heard Tony’s plan, and it’s crazy enough to work. Which meant they had to tell the rest. This wasn’t the Avengers without them. 

“You’re going to have a hard time with Thor.” Rocket concludes. He had been skeptical the whole time, but Stark had a point. They weren’t here to doubt themselves if they had even five percent of a new plan to save the universe again. “What did he say to you the last time, green guy?”

“Valkyrie said he was busy.” Bruce sighs. 

“No, she said he was _drunk_.” Rocket corrects. “If you want him here, you’re going to be out of your minds.”

“Yes, we want him here. We need all the help we can get, Ratchet”

“It’s Rocket and you know it.” The raccoon scowls. “Fine, I’ll go, but Bruce better be coming along too.”

“Clint?” Rhodey presses, then looks apologetically at Natasha. There’s no one else best suited to find him, and he did tell her where he was: Japan, but it wasn’t pretty. 

“I’ll go.” Natasha says, like it’s any question. As far as most of them were concerned, it’s not. It just made sense for Nat to find him. 

“Alone? Absolutely not.” Steve shakes his head. They’ve just fought about this, not too long ago, and he’s thought this through, but he knows he has to go with her. He can’t let her travel half the world to find Clint, dangerous and unpredictable. “I’ll go with you.”

“Uh, Rogers.” Tony waves, then folds his arms. He knows Steve’s just worried for Natasha, but she’s scary enough to stand on her own. “Need you here, Cap. There’s a lot of heavy equipment we can’t rely on F.R.I.D.A.Y. to move.”

“No, Steve.” Natasha places a hand on his arm, soft but firm. “I need to do this... _Alone_.”

“No.” Isabella counters, and Natasha glares right at her. Steve’s right to be worried, because Isabella’s seen Natasha at her worst because of Clint Barton. If she was to call him and make him back down from whatever the hell he was doing, she better not be alone. It didn’t matter how well she knew Barton from before, he was downright dangerous now. “I’ll go with you. How are you going to navigate through Japan?”

Natasha wants to point out that Isabella’s doesn’t speak a word of Japanese, while Natasha was _fluent_. Except the Princess has a glint in her eyes so strong, she knows she has a bad impression on Clint. Maybe going would do her good too, when she was so hesitant about this plan. It was the only chance they had, and Isabella needed to see it.

“Ok, we’ll both go.” Natasha nods, and Steve relaxes visibly in his seat. Isabella would keep an eye out on Nat for him.

“We’ve got our assignments. The rest of us will stay, and we will talk about the Stones when we’ve gotten the full team back.” Steve orders, right back on track. “We good?”

No one questions him, so he nods briskly. “Then let’s get going.”

* * *

“Don’t give him a hard time.” Natasha had warned when they reached the location Rhodey had given in Japan. It’s just beyond the outskirts of Tokyo, and Natasha hadn’t spoken a word to Isabella throughout the flight except when she left to find Clint. It’s a relatively short few hours to get there with a powered Quinjet with Stark technology, but that’s long enough for Isabella to know Natasha’s slightly pissed she pressed to go on this trip. 

She’s not allowed to leave the jet, and maybe it’s for the best. She doesn’t quite want to see Clint Barton. Ronin or Hawkeye, Isabella never had a good impression of him. He may be Natasha’s best and oldest friend, but he still had some ways to prove himself before she could accept him, unlike the other Avengers she has met countless of times before. 

So when Natasha trails into the Quinjet half an hour later with Clint, Izzy’s a little skeptical in meeting him.

Clint Barton doesn’t look anything like the pictures in Natasha’s room, long taken down after the snap, but Isabella still remembers them from when she first slept there after returning back from Wakanda. He has his hair in a silly Mohawk like a teen, but he has aged decades instead of five years. He unstraps his weapon of choice from his back, and Isabella eyes it carefully – it’s a Japanese sword, and it’s what he’s been using to cause havoc around the world during the past few years. The chill down her spine is one with fear; she wonders how many have died under his hands. 

_Don’t give him a hard time_. Not this time, Tasha. 

“This is Izzy.” Natasha introduces as Isabella rises to greet her, checking for any problems and finding none, not even a scratch. Steve would be less paranoid, but Steve knew Clint and he was too trusting sometimes. 

“Isabella.” The Princess corrects stiffly, despite the glare from Natasha. _Be nice_. Isabella sighs, but she doesn’t budge. Clint Barton doesn’t deserve to call her by her nickname, not yet. 

Clint isn’t fazed. “It’s nice to finally meet you. How are you doing, your highness?”

“I’m good.”

“We’ve been in the compound.” Natasha says lightly, perhaps feeling the tension. “She’s been helping a lot with monitoring the universe with us too.”

“That’s nice.” Clint smiles tightly. “You said a talking Raccoon?”

“Rocket.” Natasha smirks. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Anyone else?” Clint murmurs, serious. He’s clearly asking about who’s left.

“We have new additions. But...” Natasha pauses. “Clint, we’re going to be hoping we bring back a lot of people if this works.

“I know.” He nods, eyes on his blade. Then, as if remembering Isabella, he turns to her. “I’m sorry about your parents. If it’s any consolation, I understand your pain.” 

To Natasha, he sounded sincere, but Isabella only narrows her eyes. He’s not the one around during the last five years, doing what Natasha was doing. Speaking of which, Natasha would be disappointed, but she’s not here to make sure Barton was feeling alright. 

“Really? Except I don’t understand you.” Before Natasha can stop her, she looks right in his eyes as she finishes. “Because I didn’t go around the world playing god with people’s lives.”

“That’s _enough_.” Natasha yanks her arm, pushing her back slightly. “Clint, everything’s in its old place, I got some of Steve’s clothes waiting for you if you want to wash up for the long flight back.” 

Clint watches Isabella for a moment, and she forces herself not to flinch, staring right back even though Natasha’s clearly frustrated with her. “Sure.” He says, then turns to head to the back of the Quinjet, and Izzy doesn’t miss how he leaves his choice of weapon right where Nat and her can see it, next to the controls. 

“Isabella.” Natasha hisses the moment Clint disappears from sight, her voice raised. “That was uncalled for. You did exactly the opposite of what I requested you to do.”

“What was I supposed to do, make him feel right at home? Nat, he’s not just been causing trouble for you, but Rhodey and Steve too. He doesn’t understand how it’s like to lose his parents.”

“He lost his children and wife, and that comes close. You both lost _family_, so don’t make it difficult.” Natasha sighs, rubbing her temples. Isabella should have stayed back in the compound, maybe help out a little. 

“_Difficult_? What about those people he’s killed? Are you willing to ignore that because he saved your life once?” Isabella asks, slightly tensed. She thinks she’s afraid for the answer. Natasha doesn’t like to talk about her past, and from previous experiences, she’s jumpy about this. She’s walked herself right into a field of land mines. 

“We’re not having this conversation again. Don’t be a hypocrite, Isabella.” Natasha warns, her eyes narrowed. “You know we’ve all killed plenty of people, even Steve. Don’t defend us just because we stayed by you in the last five years.”

”I know that, but it was under different circumstances and you didn’t have a choice. You’ve tried to reach out time and time again yet he didn’t stop because his family–“

“We don’t judge.” Natasha interrupts, raising her tone. Isabella’s really pushed her limit now, and she backs off, slightly worried as Natasha rises from her seat, annoyed. She hates how she always fights with Nat when it came to Clint Barton, but it’s the pain in Natasha’s eyes that makes her think twice about aggravating her. 

“Please, Izzy. Don’t do this.” Natasha sighs, softer now. “I know you worry. But I’m telling you – Clint’s fine.” Natasha promises, a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

Isabella flinches, and pretends not to notice the hurt in Natasha’s eyes. Then, she sighs too, allowing Natasha to rest her hand on her right shoulder without jerking it off. “Okay.”

“Thank you.” Natasha pulls away, smiling gently. 

Isabella nods briefly, and then forces herself to return it, even though both of them know she’s lying.

* * *

The team together. All of them. Isabella looks around the meeting room, and knows it’s a buzzing feeling of hope that they all have. Everyone’s lost someone important in the snap, and it’s their chance to undo everything. 

Even after all those years, it’s clear who leads the team. Steve clears his throat once, and they turn to face him.

“Let's start with the Aether. Thor, what do you know?”

Five years is a long time. They’ve all gone through this for half a decade, but some worse than others. Right by the door, Thor has a can of beer in his hand, and he’s definitely the most changed. He already tried handling Isabella a beer once or twice, and Steve silently pulls him away each time. He’s not sober enough to be at this meeting, but they don’t have a choice if they need the god to be in the plan with them.

“Is he asleep?” Natasha asks, deadpanned. The god of thunder had other things in mind than to come to this meeting, it seems.

“No, I'm pretty sure he's dead.” Rhodey’s words would have made Isabella crack up if it weren’t for how _sad_ Thor looked. Rocket reaches over to whack Thor on the stomach where his abs once were, and he jerks up, awake. 

Thor’s not in the right mood for the meeting. He stumbles through his words, rambling. “Yeah... The Aether, is not a stone, someone called it a stone before. It's more of an angry sludge thing so I think you gotta amend that. Here's an interesting story though, many years ago... My grandfather had to hide the stones from the Dark Elves.” Then he laughs, ignoring the concerned frowns going around the room. “Whooooooo, scary beings. So Jane... She's... an old flame of mine. She stuck her hand inside a rock this one time... and then the Aether stuck itself inside her... And, she became very, very sick. So I had to take her to Asgard, which is where I'm from. And we had to try and fix her. We were dating at the time, you see. I got to introduce her to my Mother... who's dead, and–”

“Um hey buddy, it’s okay, you don’t have to go on.” Tony interrupts, but it’s too late – Thor’s on the verge of crying, visibly so upset that the room’s no longer looking at him condescendingly. 

“–and oh you know, Jane and I aren't even dating anymore, these things happen though you know, nothing last forever...” 

This time, Tony pats him on the back, guiding him back to his chair, beer can and all, even if Thor’s just rambling miserably and entirely too affected to say much about the stone.

“I'm not done yet, the only thing permanent in life is impermanence.” Thor finishes, only because Tony’s finally settled him back in the chair and passed him another beer. “Can I have a Bloody Mary instead?”

“Okay...” Steve moves on, only because Tony’s silently shaking his head at Thor. The man was hella drunk, and worse than a toddler – and he should know, he had one of his own. 

“Quill said he stole the Power Stone from Morag.” Rocket offers, still looking at Thor strangely. 

“And Thanos found the soul stone on Vormir.” Nebula continues, unbothered as always.

“What is a Vormir?” Natasha questions, scribbling down notes – she preferred to do things the old fashioned way unlike Stark, who had F.R.I.D.A.Y. record everything down 

“A dominion of death, at the very center of Celestial existence.” Nebula’s tone hardens. “It's where Thanos murdered my sister.” 

The room visibly goes still again, even with Thor’s silent snores. Isabella looks out the window, thinking. The Soul Stone was a sore spot for her, on account of what happened at the gala all those years ago. She still has the fake ones in her room for crying out loud. 

“Um, not it.” Scott whispers to break the silence. 

“I’ll go.” Isabella starts, but Natasha puts up a hand to stop her while Scott only stares in disbelief.

“No.” Natasha warns, soft but strict. “You’re not going anywhere, Isabella.” 

“Why not?” The Princess challenges, rising as she meets Natasha head on. 

“This is not your fight.” Steve agrees, although half the room was nodding along too. 

“You’re five years too late.” Izzy retorts, unaffected. “It became my fight when he murdered my parents for that stone.”

The chill in the room returns, but Clint shakes his head once more. “No.” He frowns. Despite the Princess’ obvious disdain for him, he wasn’t going to let a mere child go out to space for a stone. “You’re not going. Nat and I will.”

“Barton–“

“Shh Steve.” This time, Natasha stops the soldier. “He’s right. You’re needed elsewhere to maximize our strengths. Clint and I work best together, and we don’t know what’s at Vormir. We’ve got the best shot.”

She looks pointedly at Isabella, unwavering. “Stay here. You’re not trained for this.”

“No one is.” Izzy points out, as unfazed as she was. “Take me with you.”

“No, you need to stay here to reset the thing and pull us out if something goes wrong.” Bruce mediates. He wasn’t going to let the youngest go into the unknown either. “We need someone behind, just in case. You’ll have a role to play too, I promise.”

Isabella opens her mouth to protest; they were treating her like a kid, giving her a small part like she was the jealous young one wanting to play a larger, speaking character in a middle school theatre production. Ultimately, it’s Tony who ends all form of discussion for her. 

“You stay here and make sure we come back in one piece so that Morgan gets to see all of us again.” Tony agrees, even though they frown as his comment. “Too far?”

“No one is dying, Tony.” Steve’s the only one who answers his joke. “Stay, Isabella. So it’s settled. Let’s discuss about the other stones.”

* * *

On the night before the time heist, as it was now called, Natasha knocks on Isabella’s door.

“I never thought of you to be religious.” The spy frowns, watching as Isabella kept her rosary back into her jewelry box. 

“The god of Thunder is drunk in the guest bedroom, how can I be religious?” Isabella laughs. “It’s a bad habit, I suppose. I haven’t really opened that in a while.”

Her jewellery box sat opened by the bed stand, and neither of them want to mention the dull orange gem taunting back at them. Natasha knows Isabella’s kept it ever since, a reminder of what happened to her parents five years ago.

Except this time, it’s _her_ job to collect the soul stone. With all the bad memories surrounding it, this is killing Izzy more than she’s been letting on.

“Isabella.” Natasha sighs, settling on her bed. “You’re overthinking this.

“Am I?” Izzy questions. “You don’t think _time travel _is a stretch? I’m just worried, Nat. This isn’t something like a plane trip, no. You’re going to space, _and_ traveling back in time.”

Natasha stares at her for a moment, then opens her arms in a rare moment of softness to receive a hug, which Isabella gladly does, returning it. They stay in the embrace for a while, and Izzy lets herself feel the warmth and comfort of the redhead. Maybe she was wrong about Barton. She shouldn’t have clashed with Natasha on him back in Japan. Seeing Clint volunteer extensively for the time heist, like going back in time and helping out, maybe he wasn’t as dangerous as she perceived him to be. 

“It’s going to be fine, I _promise_.” Natasha whispers, her chin resting on Isabella’s head. “And you’ve gotta trust Clint. We’ve done this together so many times, even more than Steve and I. Don’t doubt him because of your dislike for him.”

“This is going to work, right?” Isabella asks, even though she doesn’t know if she wants the answer. “You find all the stones, then use it to bring everyone back. We’re going to undo this, and it’s going to be fine.”

“It will, kiddo.” Natasha promises, still clutching her, Isabella unfazed at the sentimental nickname even if she’s no longer a child. But she doesn’t know if she believes her. Then again, when Nat sets her mind on something, she’s as stubborn as the rest of them – it’s going to work. They’ll bring everyone back, everyone from all the stories and the half of the universe that turned to dust.

“And what if it doesn’t?” The fear is noticeable in her trembling voice.

“Then we’ve failed.” Natasha pulls her back, looking Isabella dead in the eyes. “But we can’t fail. Not when we’ve gotten this far. There’s billions of people waiting on us, Izzy. We will be changing _lives_ if we make it through. And I can’t sit back and pretend that it won’t happen if I don’t _try_, at least.”

She sighs, then leans in to embrace the Princess again. Sometimes, a hug or two could calm even the most doubtful. “Trust me.”

“Okay.” Isabella whispers into her shoulder. She’ll listen to that. She needs to do so, because Natasha is determined that this will work. Not just Nat, but the rest of the Avengers. Speaking of...

“Where’s Steve?” Izzy asks, pulling away. 

Natasha rolls her eyes endearingly. “Checking everything with Bruce. He was never the type to get rest before a mission.”

Once again, she’s reminded of the severity of the trip. “Stay safe.” Isabella whispers. 

Natasha’s green eyes focus on her with softness. “You know I will. And then I think we both owe Morgan another round of Monopoly.”

“So that you can cheat against a five year old? Not very nice of you, Nat.”

“What can I say? That game is rigged to go on forever!”

Isabella doesn’t see Natasha as the infamous Black Widow, master assassin and spy. She sees her as her guardian, her friend, her... sister. Natasha was very important to her, more so than Steve or Tony were in her life right now. Even now, seeing Nat smile, her green eyes twinkling with confidence and mischief, Isabella needs to trust her.

Whatever was going to happen next, she had to _trust_ that it would go okay.

* * *

Five years.

They’ve been waiting five years for this.

It’s a long shot, and they all know it. Dressed in their time travel suits, the Avengers are ready for whatever awaits them. It’s not the end. Not yet. Isabella watches as they step on the platform, a chill down her spine. The first time she’s seen the Avengers so determined, even after finding Tony alive and marching off to find Thanos. Bruce has her briefed about what to do if they didn’t appear, but that won’t happen. 

They’ve waited too long for this to go wrong.

“Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends... We lost family... We lost a part of ourselves.” Steve pauses, and they all look around the room. They needed this. Everyone they’ve missed over the five years, they’ll bring them back. “Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know. But it doesn't mean we should know what to expect.”

Steve looks directly at Natasha, who’s focusing on him too. He’s not happy about their arrangements, but she’s right. He can’t be selfish in this, he had to trust her. But no number of kisses can prepare himself for this, even when her hair’s in her braid now and she’s looking at him with those determined green eyes. “Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives, and we're gonna win.”

“Whatever it takes. Good luck.” He finishes, eyeing everyone. They nod, but he’s still focused on Natasha. He kind of wants to kiss her again. Should he?

“See you in a minute.” She grins, and he smiles too, nodding. _A minute_.

He can do that. The kiss would have to wait.

“Does he always do that?” Rocket asks wryly.

“Man, I had chills.” Scott nods.

“Alright folks.” Tony claps his hand. “You heard the old man.”

Bruce starts up the system, and Isabella forces herself to watch as they disappear, hoping she’s not going to hold her breath in anticipation. Natasha gives her a final look, and then she’s gone too, and Isabella’s all alone in the large room.

Right now, all she can do is wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been sometime! Hopefully this long one is enough for the wait :) Almost there!


	11. e l e v e n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They did it. He had the Pym Particles, Tony will have the Tesseract, and everyone else should have completed their missions. He always had faith in the team, and this time, they will not fail. Not again. Looking at Peggy one last time through the blinds, he ducks behind the cabinet when Peggy nearly meets his eye, and that’s when he realizes they never had their last dance. Maybe in another life, he could have been with her.
> 
> But not in this one, because then he wouldn’t have met Natasha. 
> 
> And he’s going back to see her in a minute. 

_New Jersey, 1970_

They nearly lost. Steve’s not so sure he’s ever encountered anything so close in his life, but they nearly couldn’t make it back with all the stones. 

While Tony went searching for the Tesseract, Steve went for Hank Pym’s inventions. They needed more Pym particles to get home, otherwise the mission would be a failure. 

That was before he saw Peggy again.

She’s clearly aged a little, grey streaks in her brunette locks, but she’s the same as before. Since being educated on 21st century norms about feminism, he knows her position in the 70s must have been hard on her, being one of the only women on the board. He can’t help but feel a sense of pride and admiration, watching her sign off documents and talk to her team. 

There’s something about traveling back in time and bumping into your long lost first love that’s doing something for Steve. Except he’s thinking about the red headed spy back home, that he’s going to see real soon. He slides one hand into his pocket to check – the box was still there – and then he smiles softly, excited to get back. 

They did it. He had the Pym Particles, Tony will have the Tesseract, and everyone else should have completed their missions. He always had faith in the team, and this time, they will not fail. Not again. Looking at Peggy one last time through the blinds, he ducks behind the cabinet when Peggy nearly meets his eye, and that’s when he realizes they never had their last dance. Maybe in another life, he could have been with her.

But not in this one, because then he wouldn’t have met Natasha. 

And he’s going back to see her in a minute. 

* * *

_Vormir, 2014_

Natasha wouldn’t have expected this. None of them did. There are people waiting for her back home, back in the present. Family. _Steve. _

“If we don't get that stone, billions of people stay dead.” 

And yet, there are billions of other people who don’t have the same luxury as her. Natasha mumbles, sitting on the cold stones as the snow trickles down on her skin, but funnily enough, she doesn’t feel the chills. There’s a million thoughts running through her mind. Loopholes. Anything that might get them out of here alive. What if they tricked him? But nothing was worth taking the risk. There’s just Clint and her now, and they couldn’t fail. They just didn’t have enough Pym Particles to send someone else, if _anyone_. 

It was going to be either him or her.

They both have lives to get back to at home. But so do billions of other people. Logically speaking, they need to do this.

“Then I guess we both know who it's gotta be.” Clint says lightly, even though they both know the gravity of the situation. Him, or her. 

Decades ago, when he aimed the arrow at her heart, she had thought of shooting him. Another one to the list of kills, another selfish day of living and running away. Playing with death, killing him, or letting him do the honours. _Him, or her. _

And now, she’s thinking the same. Except there’s no doubt in her mind who’s going to live this time, if both of them can’t leave this place alive.

_Him, or her._

“I guess we do.” She echoes, although his idea might not be the same as hers. 

“I'm starting to think we're thinking about different people here, Natasha.”

“For the last five years I've been trying to do one thing: Bringing everybody back.” Natasha reasons, accepting his hand. Clint’s her oldest friend. He saved her from her past, and she can never repay that debt. He gave her a new life, and she’s met so many people over it, experienced so many new things... she owed him too much to let him do this.

Except Clint doesn’t think the same. He knows what kind of life Natasha’s been living for the past five years. She’s found her own life, a family, a _lover_; he can’t do this. He can’t let her think that way, the same she always has for all these decades.

“Don’t do this, Nat.” Clint exhales, shaking his head. “You know I’ve done horrible things in the past five years. Isabella was right: you shouldn’t have come for me.”

“What are you saying, you idiot?” Natasha fumes. She’s not here trying to judge who’s been better in the last few years. “This isn’t about that. I don’t care about what you’ve done.”

“And I’m trying to tell you that this isn’t your choice.” Clint gets up, eyes narrowing. She can’t do this. She has a whole life back at home, and he doesn’t know if he still does. What will Laura say? Or the kids? He doesn’t deserve them back. He’s done too much damage for them to accept him back. “I promised Steve.”

“You... you what?”

“He talked to me. The night before.” He confesses. “You know I would have made sure you got out in one piece, but he... he was insistent.” Clint softens his gaze, watching Natasha closely. He hasn’t been around to see them develop this relationship, but she must know this at least. “He loves you, Nat.”

Natasha stays silent, like she knows this and can’t stop herself from carrying out her plan. She’s not selfish. Half the _universe_, and she’s not going to let him talk her out of it. Five years ago, she wouldn’t be this hesitant. The Black Widow doesn’t do distractions, and she doesn’t do love, and even after all these years, she doesn’t know if it was all worth it. 

“Think about Isabella.” Clint insists fiercely. “Stop doing this, Nat. Don’t you dare think like this.”

But now they finally have a shot at redeeming themselves. No more waiting. Just one sacrifice in exchange for billions, she didn’t have to be good at math to know they had to do it. Steve will have to deal, and so will Isabella. As for Clint, she owes him a debt. “They’ll understand. They have to. Steve knows this is our _job_, it’s just what we do.”

Natasha focuses her eyes on the cliff again, knowing the drop was imminent. She’s made up her mind now, no matter who she’s leaving behind. No matter who’s she’s promised the night before. “And Isabella... Izzy will eventually come to it.”

“No, this can’t be you, Natasha.” Clint squeezes her hand, pulling her down gently. “Deep down inside, you know Isabella was right. You know what I’ve become.”

A shake of her head. Isabella was angry, and that was on her for not preparing the Princess. And she will learn to understand. One day, she will get over it and realize that this was the right choice. “I don't judge people on their worst mistakes.”

“Maybe you should.” He presses, exasperated. 

“You didn’t.” She whispers back. 

Clint suppresses a groan, deciding enough was enough, they had to get that stone. He straightens up, and she follows, but his mind is made up. Natasha cannot leave Steve and Isabella behind. Some day Laura will understand, if they manage to bring them back, and subsequently, so will the kids. 

“Okay. You win.” He declares, feigning sadness. He stands straight casually, as if he’s accepted her decision, pretending to let her move forward, and she does, unaware of his pretense. But before Natasha can say a word, he knocks her to the ground, stopping her as he runs to the edge of the cliff. “Tell my family I love them.”

Except he’s forgotten how skilled Natasha was. She counters his tackle, and pins him to the ground before he can make it pass the edge. “Tell them yourself.” Natasha hisses, then uses her Widow’s Bites to electrocute him. It hurts like a bitch; and he momentarily curses her for being so goddamn competitive – he was trying to save her life, and here she was pinning him to the ground.

Reaching out for his arrow, he grabs the explosive one, and stops Natasha from progressing any further. One day, _she’ll _understand. She’ll tell his kids, and Laura. She’ll live with Steve. Isabella won’t have to deal with losing yet another guardian. None of the Avengers will lose a _leader_. 

She’s his oldest and longest friend, and he can’t do this to her. It has to be him, not her.

_I love you, Laura._ He thinks, eyes squeezed shut, picturing his family once more. Clint makes a leap for the edge and keeps his eyes closed, anticipating the fall.

The fall that doesn’t come. 

His eyes fly open as he jerks up, realizing something’s attached to him and stopping him – so he makes a wild grab instinctively, only to find Natasha’s hand. _Fuck_. It takes him a second to register the situation, and he nearly lets go of the rope in fury. _Fuck, Nat_. She’s jumped after him, and used her grappling hook on him. There’s no way can he undo the hook, and fling her up to save her. He can’t let go of the hook and even if he could reach it, it would risk both of them falling. If he let her go, she’d fall. He eyes the rope attaching him to the top of the cliff, then back down at her in desperation.

Natasha Romanoff has won him again. 

“Damn you!” Clint cries, pulling on the hook whilst grasping her hand. This was insane. He can’t let her do this, not when he promised Steve. When he knew he didn’t want to let Natasha do this ultimate sacrifice for him and humanity. He can’t let her die, not like this and not for _him_. “Why did you do that?”

“Tell Isabella she needs to understand... That I’m sorry I broke my promise.” Natasha smiles up at him, her hand slipping as he struggles to hold on, shaking his head as the tears start to roll down his cheeks. No, this wasn’t happening. His best friend was _not_ doing this.

He can’t watch her die.

“Damn it, Nat–”

“Tell Steve I wished we worked out in this universe.” Natasha continues, smiling bravely, her eyes filled with her own tears. He knows she’s not the type to show vulnerability, and it was killing him to even see those tears. No. He tugs on the useless rope again, even though there’s no way the hook will let go or he can miraculously find the strength to fling her up to safety as gravity pulled them down. 

“Make him _promise_ to take care of Izzy.” Natasha blinks away her tears, feeling her hands slip lower. “Tell him I love him too.”

“Nat–”

“Let me go.” Natasha whispers, all but begging him to stop trying to save her, her fingers sliding. He was making this unnecessarily longer than it had to. She _had_ to do this. There’s no other way, no one other than her that should be the sacrifice. “It’s _okay_.”

Except it’s _not_. It’s not fucking okay. It will never be. “Fuck, Nat–” Clint tries his best to hold her, to do anything to hang on until he can find a solution, but then right at that moment, Natasha kicks the wall until the force is enough to break his grasp on her, and suddenly, he’s watching her plummet down the cliff of Vormir. 

And even as she falls, she’s smiling. _A soul for a soul. _

“No!” He sees her through his tears, until she’s nothing but a blur silhouette, and he’s crying so hard he can’t get the words out to call her name. _Fuck_. “Natasha!”

Just like that, she’s gone.

He forces himself to look. Remember her, what she did and how she fooled him. A pool of blood around her red roots, _permanent_. It should have been him there, not her. Clint yanks on the rope Natasha’s managed to save his life with, hitting himself over his stupidity again. If only he was a little faster. If he could have outsmarted her. _Fuck_. He sobs as he thinks about what he could have done, until he’s exhausted and lets the bright, white light carry him away.

When he wakes up, he’s in a pool of water. 

_Natasha’s gone. She jumped down the cliff in place of me and I couldn’t stop it_

Clint smashes the water, shaking the thought away, but it’s clear that wasn’t a nightmare. The cliff was still there, and he knows he’s still at Vormir. The sob comes out before he can even process anything else.

Because the sick thing about it all was that he found a glowing orange stone in his palm, with no Natasha and just his tears accompanying him for his journey back home. 

* * *

_See you in a minute._

Exactly fifty seven seconds later, the Avengers reappear. Isabella lets her eyes adjust as the Avengers pop up one by one, all back from the trip. It worked. It actually _worked_, and they’ve gotten the stones. She’d been paranoid for nothing.

She sighs in relief, walking closer to greet the team, and that’s when she notices something’s off. Naturally, she’d look for her guardians first. After all, she’s been with them for the last five years and she’d want to ask them how it went. Except she sees Scott, Bruce and Tony. Rhodey. Rocket. Nebula. Her eyes do a double take as she locates Steve and Clint and–

“Natasha.” Isabella’s voices trembles as she rushes up the platform. “Where’s Nat?”

“Clint?” Steve asks instinctively. He’s talked to Barton, just the night before. He knows Nat would have straight up yelled at him for asking Clint to take care of her, but he wanted her safe. Yet there’s no red head beside Barton, no sign of his love.

They’ve just gotten back from a crazy time travel trip, and he’s barely even gotten over seeing _Peggy_. This can’t be. Maybe she ran out of pym particles. They had plenty now, he could go back and retrieve her. 

Except Clint’s gone absolutely still. He avoids Steve’s eyes, and his heart goes cold. “A soul for a soul.” The archer says as falls to his knees, distraught. “She’s gone.”

“What do you mean she’s gone?” Isabella presses, ignoring Bruce’s hand on her shoulder. She’s reached Clint now, and so has Steve, the both of them utterly confused. “You lost her? Then go back and get her, we can–“

“No.” Clint interrupts, opening his clenched fist to reveal the orange gem shining in his palm. There are still tears from his eyes, and they fall before he can stop them. “She sacrificed herself for the stupid stone.” 

The soul stone glows as the Avengers let his word sink in. A sacrifice. _A soul for a soul. _Thanos went with his favourite daughter Gamora, and came back alone_. _ThenClint goes with Natasha, and comes back alone. There’s no coincidence about this, and it hits Isabella later than it should have. A _sacrifice_.

A soul for a soul.

_She’s gone._

“Say that again, buddy?” Tony questions, as if he hadn’t heard clearly. But Clint’s weak on his knees, tears rolling down his face.

Steve’s still doing relatively calmer than she is, and he moves to help Clint up. He’s not buying this, not when he just saw her literally seconds ago. “Clint. Do we need to go back? Because I have some spare Pym particles we got from the lab, and I–”

“No, it’s too late for any of that.” Clint interrupts again, and he’s sobbing fully now. Someone has to tell Steve. She’s truly gone and if this is how he has to do it, then he will, because he owes her a debt so big he will never be able to repay her, not in a million lifetimes. “She said... she said to tell you that she loves you.” 

Steve’s head snaps up as he drops his arm reaching out to help Clint, who falls back to his knees. It’s the look of loss he has that makes Isabella realize it’s real and true. This isn’t some kind of nightmare, with Steve in some kind of Captain uniform and holding his shield. The feeling of dread she’s felt all week while they were working was now at its peak. 

_She sacrificed herself._ No matter how she thinks, Isabella knows deep down that Natasha’s gone. Natasha Romanoff, her guardian for the last five years, her closest friend, her _sister_. She’s _gone_.

Natasha’s dead.

She’s _dead_.

The screaming starts before she realizes it’s her. She’s scrambling to Clint, hitting out and punching the air wildly, madly, _desperately_ trying to hurt him and he just sits there, letting her work a number on his face and chest with her fists. Tony’s the fastest to get to her, but she’s too furious to care, too devastated to notice him struggling to get her away. 

She’s too unfocused to even realize he’s holding back, not even calling for his suit to stop her. 

“She said to trust you!” Isabella yells, sobbing through the tears. Steve’s holding her back now, grasping her shoulders and pulling her away. “She said she’ll come back and we’d have all the stones! And we can bring everyone back! What the fuck did you do to her?”

“I’m sorry.” Clint whispers, his upper lip burst open and bleeding – he recognizes Izzy’s handiwork to be something only Natasha could have taught, but something inside him lets her physically hurt him without him retaliating back. “She said... you’ll understand... sorry for breaking... promise...”

It only angers Isabella more as she swings her fists out wildly, crying out at every punch.

At this point, Steve doesn’t know who he’s saying sorry to – him or Isabella. He finally manages to reign the Princess in, restraining her arms while Tony distances himself from them. This was not his place, and even trying to reason with Izzy now was pointless. “Isabella...”

“No, Steve.” Isabella cries, trying her best to yank herself out of his tight hold, but she’s no match for Captain America. Instead, she settles for collapsing in his arms, the fury in her exchanged for sorrow. “She’s not dead. Nat can’t be dead. She _promised_...”

He still has the ring in his pocket, for crying out loud. Its existence suddenly weighs him down, and his shock turns to regret. He should have gone with Natasha to Vormir. Then maybe she’d be alive and Isabella wouldn’t be crying for the dead. 

“Shh, Izzy.” Steve says, but even his voice cracks and he feels the tears fall. How do you stay strong when your girlfriend just died to save half the universe? He’s still too shocked to react. She can’t be gone, it hasn’t even been that long. 

_See you in a minute._

Except she is. Clint’s still on the floor, being checked by Bruce, and by Tony who knows to keep his mouth shut for now. He has Isabella in his arms, a frantic, shaking mess as she tries to unravel her shock. 

“Bring her back. Go back in time.” She says, frantic and rising out of Steve’s grasp. “Aren’t you going to restart this? Why aren’t you saying anything? Bring her _back_.” She cries hysterically to Bruce, who’s having a hard time himself. 

“Isabella.” Steve tries again, eyeing the rest uncertainly. Thor’s a lot more sober than they’ve seen in weeks, and even Tony gives him space, but he’s torn too. He can’t lead this team. Not without Natasha. He thinks of her determined green eyes, right before they left, and her lips twisted into a smirk, one of his favourite classic looks of hers. His eyes water again, and this time, he’s having a lot of trouble reigning them in. 

“No!” Isabelle slumps in Steve’s arms, sobbing and clutching him desperately. “I never got to say _goodbye_. I didn’t five years ago and I didn’t again. Bring her back, Steve. Please, I can’t do this again without her.”

“I can’t, Isabella.” Steve’s voice breaks, and she crumbles again, watching his despair. There’s nothing worse than seeing someone so put together stumble and fall, and this felt ten times worse, surrounded by the rest of the Avengers without her closest guardian she’s known for the past five years. “She’s gone?”

He doesn’t know why he’s asking Clint again. Clint, who’s on the floor in pain, shaking with silent sobs. Clint, who’s holding an orange stone like a lifeline. When he doesn’t get his answer, he lets the tears flow instead, never mind that everyone can see him lose it. 

Then they are crying in the middle of the platform, with the rest of the Avengers looking chest fallen for Natasha Romanoff.

* * *

Later, when they sit in the meeting room, silent, Clint tells his story. He tells them everything, how the Red Skull told them about the preposition, how he tried to reason with her. Steve hasn’t said a word since, and Isabella’s clutching him like a lifeline, the Princess an empty shell since her outburst. 

It scares him more that it reminds him of five years ago, when they took her in. That she’s back to where they started.

Clint tells Steve and Isabella her last words. How she wanted them to understand. Even with that, Isabella stares silently at the wall, her eyes empty and red. Tony’s found her some hot chocolate, and Bruce places a blanket over her shoulders, but neither of them are the things she wants. They don’t know her like how Nat does, and Steve’s too devastated like her. 

“A soul for a soul.” Clint croaks, and the rest pretend not to hear the crack of his voice, trembling in despair. “I was supposed to be the one. She stopped me and... she’s gone. I’m sorry, guys.” 

“Fuck you.” Isabella gasps, shrugging Steve’s hand away. She’s reached her limit, and she’s not ready to hear Clint Barton apologize for something he cannot undo. “It should have been you. You’ve been gone for the last five years! You want to kill all the gangs and disappear even though she’s been looking for you? Fuck you!”

“Izzy.” Steve pulls her back, but deep inside, it shames him that he thinks the same. 

“It should have been you.” Isabella echoes, the tears in her eyes shining as they fall. She hates Clint Barton so much, even more than before. Even when Natasha told her not to judge him, she will. He was the reason why Natasha was dead, and she will never forget that.

A tear rolls down Steve’s cheeks, and there’s not a single dry eye in the room. They knew the consequences, but never could they take the weight. 

_Tell Steve I wished we worked out in this universe_

Steve replays those words in his head over and over again. The moment Clint told him that... he knew he should have gone for a kiss. It’s going to be one of his many regrets with her. Why didn’t the universe want to let them be happy together? Why her? Why was she so selfless?

He exchanges his bitter thoughts for tears, blinking them away as quickly as they come. 

Tony stands shakily. He has lost too much for this to go poorly. “Why did she do it?”

“Because she knew we needed the stone.” Steve whispers, staring at the empty seat in front of him. “She’d do it so we could have everyone back.”

“And she died without knowing her father.” Clint laughs dryly, choking up. “All he gave her was a name and no explanation. I know she did it for me, but how do I go back to my family and tell them that? She repaid her debt several times over and I can’t do it back. Hell, there isn’t even a body to bury.”

“You’re right, Princess. It should have been me. Even when I was at my lowest, she still found a way to save me.” Clint’s not looking for forgiveness anymore. He knows Isabella can’t do that, not when she’s torn between wanting to murder him, and crying for the dead. Instead, she turns away from him before she can retort back or hit him again, even though Steve’s still holding her down.

“Fuck, right?” When Clint starts sobbing, throwing the soul stone onto the table and rage and disgust, no one comments on it. 

Tony wipes up his tears discretely and asks, with a tone so somber and serious, “Can we undo this?”

“You know we can’t.” Bruce whispers, with tears in his eyes. “Thanos would have found a way for Gamora.”

Five years ago, when they found Thanos defenseless, they were Avengers burning with rage and vengeance. Thor clearly remembers going for the head, but there’s more to Thanos than they all remember. He’s not there just because he carried out his plan, but because he was alone. No one knew what he had done to cause Gamora’s death, but they did now. A soul for a soul. Maybe Thanos was more hurt than he had let on, someone with no army, no family, and no _daughter_. 

“He pushed his own daughter down a cliff.” Tony shakes, and they know he’s thinking of Morgan. His daughter, who’s lost an aunt today, and maybe another one with how distraught Isabella is. He doesn’t know if she’ll get over this. And even if Steve wasn’t showing much, he knew he might never recover, either.

And they didn’t even get to say goodbye. Clint, the only one who really did, still sat emotionlessly, unable to move on. 

“Then we’ll avenge her.” The raccoon, quiet at the side, suddenly announces. Clint actually frowns, staring back as if he couldn’t believe Rocket even knew Nat. “What, you think I’ve had updates to email back to her? We’ve mostly been sending each other Netflix suggestions.”

“We owe this to her.” Thor ignores them, emptily trying to process the turn of events. “We have all the stones now. That wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t do this for us.”

“The wizard. He told me before he gave up the time stone... fourteen million possibilities. And only one way it ends with Thanos defeated.” Tony sighs, knowing deep down there was no other way out. The men in the room are silent, because they knew – it was either Nat, or the rest of the world. A sacrifice, no matter what the price, was still a sacrifice they had to make. 

“At what cost? You bring back half the universe, but can you bring her back?” Isabella whispers, but her voice is loud enough for all of them to feel her pain. “You’re letting them do this without her, Steve?”

“Isabella, we can’t stop here anymore. We have to make it count.” Steve presses gently, wiping away a lone tear. He can’t stop to think about how she would have teased him the other day, when it was just minutes ago that they were just together. “If we don’t bring down Thanos, we didn’t just fail the universe, we failed Natasha.”

“Rogers...” Tony places a hand on his shoulder, but they know he’s right; there’s no turning back now. A sacrifice too high to pay for a stone to change their fate. This was hard for all of them, but they needed to move on. 

_Whatever it takes._

“Do it.” Steve confirms, even if he doesn’t look as determined. He slumps back in his seat, and Isabella stops to cry too, unable to see him like this. “For her.”

Five years after they started, Steve cries once more for Natasha Romanoff.

* * *

They throw roses down the lake for her. Red, like her hair, and her favourite lipstick. _Red like the blood spilled on Vormir_, Clint thinks. Natasha’s not one to be sentimental, but for today, he figures that he wants to remember her for the woman she was. 

Steve, watches from the side, thinking of everything else Nat loved. Stocking the entire place with guns hidden everywhere, but not completely inaccessible from either of them. Peanut butter sandwiches cut diagonally. Sending him smiley faces in texts randomly in the middle of the day. Dancing ballet in the middle of the gym because the railings reminded her of the dance studio. 

And then Natasha everywhere else, in his arms, or kissing him softly by the sunset. In the kitchen waiting for him to finish dinner. In the common room with Isabella, laughing over something funny Carol shared. He hasn’t stopped thinking of her since Clint came back. How can she be gone, when she’s so vividly present in his head? 

Isabella cries. She cries tears of hurt and rage and most of all, sorrow. She sobs through it all and Steve holds her throughout, anchoring her. It hurts way more the second time, knowing everyone was taken away from her. They’ve started to keep Clint away, and Tony’s already offered her a place to stay with Pepper and Morgan while they figured the stones out. She doesn’t know what’s the point of agreeing, but she can’t stay in the compound. It reminds her of everything she’s lost.

Her tears are still falling as she throws the roses into the lake, devastated beyond belief.

Tony doesn’t know here to begin. He had always tested Natasha’s patience, and when she actually came on his side for once, she ended up joining Rogers in the end. But she’s still someone that was always right, as he had come to realize. Maybe Morgan wouldn’t understand now, but he hoped that she’ll remember her red headed aunt.

Thor’s been out of it for the past five years, lost in depression and trying desperately not to think about life. But there was once upon a time when he thought of Natasha as a female warrior, just like all the great warriors of Asgard. Like his mother, left for the fates to decide. He’s been fond of humans and never once diminished her abilities, although she wasn’t enhanced like Bruce or Steve. Maybe he should have tried harder in the past five years, all of them grieving and trying hard to move on. He throws a single rose into the lake quietly, for the bravest soul of them all.

Bruce tries his best not to think about what could have been with Natasha. Shared life experiences, he thinks, even when they were both under entirely different circumstances, Natasha came the closest to understanding him. So maybe nothing happened between them in the end, but he could never stay awkward with someone like her. 

It’s always been the six of them, right from the start of the initiative and to the beginnings of that stupid airport fight in Germany. New additions to the team won’t change how they’ve all come to become a family. 

No one mentions how they didn’t get to say goodbye. 

_See you in a minute_. 

A minute. That’s all it took, and to Clint, it was too soon, too short. They spent hours on that stupid planet, the first time he’s been to space, and he comes back with a stone and survivor’s guilt. Maybe Isabella should have hit him further. If Steve didn’t hold her back, he’s let her hurt him more. 

So what if he was the last one with her? Did he say goodbye? No words can ever be used to say goodbye to someone to selfless and heroic. 

For the last time in his life, he wished he had won against Natasha Romanoff.

* * *

They give Isabella and Steve some space after the funeral. Some time to mourn, because they’ve gone through the last five years together. Yet, she doubts it all. Five years is a long time. So why did she agree to stay in the compound? Why wasn’t she in Caydia, why did she renounce her title? 

“Is it my fault, Steve?” 

He’s more shocked than confused. “Izzy, what are you saying?”

“I’m cursed. The soul stone... everyone around me has died because of it.” Isabella whispers, tears filling her eyes again. There seemed to be a never ending stream of that. “I should never have stayed in the compound after the snap. If I continued living in Caydia, she wouldn’t have ended up like this.”

_Take care of Izzy. _Steve thinks as he wipes the tears away from her cheeks, and pulls her into a tight hug. She lets herself sob against his chest, the tears soaking his shirt. “It’s never your fault. I wish... I wish I went with her. Then maybe she’ll be back.”

“As opposed to you?” Isabella sniffs, mumbling into his shirt. “I’m not stupid. It’s one or the other.” She hates how she feels, but she knows who she wanted in Natasha’s place. 

“Then you wouldn’t be so distraught. Nat was more of your guardian than I was.”

“Oh, Steve. Why does anyone have to go? I can’t lose you too.”

He clutches her tighter, wondering if this was comforting her, or himself. “I love her, you know? This... this is hard for me too.“ It’s time to show someone. He wanted to throw this in the lake, but that’s too much for him... Not now. Too soon, too late. He pulls out the ring still in his pocket, and Izzy lets out a soft gasp. 

“I wanted to ask her.” Steve says, one arm clutching Isabella, and the other free hand holding onto the ring. She’s properly crying now, the tears flowing as she reaches up to wipe them off her cheeks again.

“A long time ago, she said she owed me for saving her life.” He whispers, the memory so fresh in his mind despite it being a good decade ago. She had her hair wet, and they were in Sam’s bedroom after nearly dying when SHIELD turned out to be HYDRA and crashed a building on them. “It’s stupid, you know? I never thought of that until I saw Clint come back alone. I’d save her life a thousand times without needing anything from her. And she just sacrificed herself not just for me, but also for the rest of the universe.”

“I bought it after the fight. It was mostly my fault, I didn’t want her to find Barton even though I knew I was being a hypocrite. I just... it was an impulse, you know? I just really wanted to ask her properly because we’ve been living together for years.” He twirls the ring in his hand, deep in thought. “I thought I’d be selfish to do this before we got everyone back. Now? I just wish I proposed. Then maybe she would have let Clint–“

He stops, shaking his head. Clint Barton deserved his happy ending too. Everyone did. It’s not fair they took Natasha. It just wasn’t fair.

“I hate him.” Isabella murmurs, still staring at the ring. Steve wanted to _marry_ Natasha. She watched them fall in love in the last five years, and now she’s watching Steve Rogers break down in front of her. 

“No.” Steve stops her, keeping the ring back in his pocket and holding Isabella down. She’s trembling, and he knows she’s angry. She will blame anyone for what happened; it’s what they’ve been doing for five years. “This was her choice–“

“I just need to see Natasha. Steve–“

“Shh...” He whispers, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. He could be comforting Natasha, he realizes. If Barton went over, he could have– _no_. He will not do this today. “Sweetheart, she’s gone.” Instead, he settles on the truth. 

“I can’t accept that.” Isabella breaks out into an ugly sob.

“I know.” He lets her cry again, burying her into a hug. “I know. We need to get you to Pepper’s. I’m sorry I can’t be there, Izzy. But with the stones, we need to try.”

“It will be okay, right? Everything will be fine?” It feels like deja vu all over again. The last time she asked this, she didn’t come back. 

Steve falters, and Isabella feels him pause. 

“Steve, lie to me. Even if you have to lie, I can’t take any more empty promises.”

“I can’t.” He says, wiping his eyes. “I can’t lie to you, Iz. This hurts me as much as it hurts you.” He pauses to wipe her tear stained cheeks too, even though the tears just keep on flowing. “We need to proceed with the plan. Take some time off, Isabella. Pepper will let you stay while we figure things out here. And Morgan... she won’t understand.”

Neither can Isabella. It was supposed to work. They were supposed to come back with six stones, create the gauntlet, snap, and bring back the fallen. How is she going to get back up from this again? Steve’s too devastated to even think about anything else other than making this happen, and Isabella had nothing to occupy herself like he did. 

“Stay safe, Steve.” She says instead, leaning in to give him another hug, this time to comfort him and not her. She said this before. Just yesterday, in another room, with another guardian. And now she’s left to console herself and him. “Please.”

“You know it.” Steve whispers, and then they are both crying by Natasha’s desk, the remainder of what’s left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, I decided this from the start and... I'm sorry for sticking to the Endgame outcome... BUT THE BLACK WIDOW TRAILER THOUGH. I hadn't even planned it, but I was going to upload this today, and BAM! The teaser trailer comes out! I'm so hyped, and hopefully I can get some storylines out by then, because I do have something in mind leading up to that :) We'll be ending soon, thanks for staying around!


	12. t w e l v e

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She feels the déjà vu just by asking the same question. “Is he really gone?”
> 
> Steve nods once, because if he opens his mouth to answer her, he’s going to lose it.
> 
> They’ve lost two Avengers to get to this victory. 
> 
> So when Isabella starts to sob again, Steve holds her close, and they both find themselves in another moment crying for the fallen.
> 
> Again. 

While Steve and the rest work on the stones, Isabella stays with Pepper and Morgan. Morgan’s too young to understand. She fusses and whines for Isabella, sometimes Natasha, or Steve, and even Tony – but Pepper tells her to be patient, and to play with her toys. Izzy desperately wishes she could face Morgan, but she can’t. Not when everything reminds her of Natasha, and she spends more time closed up in her room, away from them so she doesn’t have to talk about it.

_“Stay safe.”_

_“You know I will. And then I think we both owe Morgan another round of Monopoly.”_

Clintstill tries. Every single day, calling and calling, but all she feels is numbness, because she trusted him once, and now it’s too late. It’s too late for anger, it’s too late for sorrow, there’s just nothing left to think about.

_“It’s going to be fine, I promise. And you’ve gotta trust Clint. We’ve done this together so many times, even more than Steve and I.”_

She burrows her head into the pillow until the thoughts disappear and she’s left with her own cries.

Grief is not kind to her, and eventually, Pepper lets herself in. She has everything right – the cup of peppermint tea and the pink blanket – sending Isabella into another round of tears. Pepper only hugs her, occasionally rubbing her hands on her back and mumbling calming words.

“Pepper, you don’t have to do this.” Izzy croaks out, exhausted.

“A long time ago, she asked me to look after you.” Pepper’s eyes shine with tears. Isabella realizes that the CEO never had time to mourn either, and Nat and her have been friends far longer than Steve and her were, even. “And Izzy, you know I can’t leave you alone like this.”

“It’s not _fair_. I’m tired of pretending like I’m old enough to know better.”

“No one is ever matured enough to handle this.” Pepper says gently, then presses her warm palms against Isabella’s cheeks. “That day, in the kitchen... I’m sorry Isabella. I was selfish, I didn’t want to think about losing Tony...”

Pepper shakes her head, stopping herself. “I’m selfish again. This isn’t about me. I can’t think about seeing you like this. You’re family, Izzy. And so is Natasha. This hurts me too, and it’s hurting Tony – as much as he tries not to let it on.” 

“Thank you for having me. I know I’m not a perfect guest now–”

“Shh.” Pepper interrupts kindly. “You’re always welcome here. As long as you need.”

Then she squeezes her hand, like she wants to say more, about how they are both _scared_ about what’s going to happen next, and how long it’s going to take. If they can even reverse the damage and make the five years count. 

Neither of them talk about that. 

If she shuts her eyes, it almost feels like she’s safe again. Just before the nightmares of reality begin.

* * *

The house is quiet, Morgan playing outside, and Pepper making dinner when it happens.

Morgan sees it first, yelling in surprise and running into the house with excitement. “Mama! Mama, did you see that? The trees just shot up!”

“Honey?” Pepper stops the jumping child, then turns to look outside. She’s right; those trees? There’s a whole cluster right by her flower beds, and then Isabella’s running down from her room.

“They did it.” She cries breathlessly, pointing out the window. “Half of the universe, remember?”

“Oh, god.” Pepper places her hand on the counter to steady herself and she realizes that Tony’s done it. “We should call him! Make sure everything’s–”

“Miss Potts.” 

Morgan screams, because she’s face first looking up at a sorcerer. He’s not in any bit shocked, but he does eye Isabella and Pepper apologetically. “I can’t explain it now, but we will need your suit, ma’am.”

“My what?”

“Tony’s been working on it for weeks. It should be ready now.”

“I’m sorry, but who are you to barge in on us like that and how would you know that?” Isabella folds her arms, stepping cautiously in front of Pepper, who’s still shell-shocked. 

“My apologies, Your Highness. I am Doctor Stephen Strange.”

Isabella nearly steps on Pepper’s toes, shocked herself. It _worked_. But if Doctor Strange has found himself to the Stark residence, without introducing himself and asking for Pepper’s _suit_, which Isabella is sure isn’t going to be used for a formal dinner...

Something’s gone wrong. Selfishly, she thinks of Steve, and how he wouldn’t lie to her. 

“Oh, god.” Pepper repeats, pale with understanding.

“Leave the child at home. And you will not join us today, Princess Isabella.” Doctor Strange moves with urgency, not forgetting about Morgan, who looks up at him with awe, even while pressed against Pepper shyly.

“Is everything going to be okay?” Isabella’s not stupid. Tony said... he said there was only one possibility. And this guy knew how it would all end. 

“We need to go, Mrs Stark.” Strange ignores her, focusing on Pepper, who seems to snap out of it the moment Strange calls her by her married name. She nods once, then kisses Morgan on the forehead, and moves to give Izzy a quick hug. 

“Take care of her, Izzy.” Pepper says, a lot more put together now. “Stay, until I come back.”

Isabella nods; she wants to say more, but Strange is urgently waiting. She’s never seen Pepper like this before – determined and in a flurry – she just always seemed to know what she was doing. Then Pepper leaves with Strange down to Tony’s work place, leaving Morgan with Isabella. The little girl is confused, and definitely taken aback by the Doctor.

“Izzy, is that man your friend? Like the man you came with?”

Isabella bends down to face a trembling Morgan. She’s too young for this. Too young to be thinking about death and too young to be worrying about her parents. “He’s your dad’s friend. Let’s go have some ice cream, what do you think?”

“I don’t wanna.” Morgan shakes her head, and it’s the first time Isabella’s seen her reject ice cream. 

“Hey.” Isabella holds the girl, looking into her hazel eyes. “I won’t tell Mama.”

“Where’s Auntie Nat?” Morgan presses instead, eyes downcast and avoiding Isabella. “I... I heard Mama crying at night with you.”

“Oh.” Isabella barely squeaks out, tears already forming. This is not the time. Not when Pepper just joined Doctor Strange and left for god knows where. Not when Steve’s unresponsive, and not when she’s tasked to take care of the young one until _someone_ comes home. 

“I... she won’t be back so soon.” Isabella finally collects herself, and then gently lifts Morgan up. She’s turning five, and she’s getting a little heavy, but she’s too _young_ to be hearing this. That her aunt won’t come home, and that her parents were involved in something too dangerous. 

“Why not?”

“The place she went... she can’t leave.” A tear rolls down her cheek before she can stop it. 

“Not even to visit?”

“No... she’s... she’s going to be there forever.” Isabella smiles, but she’s holding the young girl and trembling. 

Morgan senses her pain, and wipes her tear away with her tiny hand, then wraps her arms around her neck. “Izzy, don’t be sad. I miss her too, but if she can’t come home, I think she’ll miss us!”

“Yeah, I think she would have wanted to play Monopoly.” Isabella replies, her mind far away. It’s hard to think about what Natasha would have wanted. _She sacrificed herself for the stone._ She doesn’t even know if the Avengers will be alright now, if the world could be at peace. If not... her sacrifice would have been worthless. 

“Well, can we play it now?” Morgan mumbles into her shoulder. “Until Mama comes home with Daddy?”

“Of course.” Izzy’s already carrying her to the game shelf. She’ll be here until the Avengers come home. She says a silent prayer in her head, even though she hasn’t been religious in years, and focuses on distracting Morgan. When the time comes, the child will understand.

Even if she might not herself.

* * *

When Pepper doesn’t get back for dinner, Isabella starts to worry. She already heated up leftovers for Morgan, and helped the little girl get ready for bed. It was clear that Pepper wouldn’t be back, and Isabella tracked the news for any possible updates – it was hard not having a personal A.I. in the house – but she could only do it when Morgan was in bed, so she promised her cookies for breakfast if she went to bed early.

When the television turned on, Isabella’s heart sank. Pepper... something’s happened. If Pepper wasn’t coming home, and none of the Avengers were back, something horrifying had happened. 

New York was in shambles. 

The Avengers compound was gone. Their home for the last five years. _Natasha’s _things, destroyed. She’s completely devastated over that; it’s the place she grew close to her, and it’s now _gone_. It’s not even the top story – the reappearance of those dusted were. Isabella watches as newscasters celebrate the return of the dead, anxiously waiting for an update that never comes.

Her phone is useless; a device that’s dead to the world. She shouldn’t have chucked it against the wall when she had enough of Clint’s calls – that one was on her, unfortunately. 

There’s no Doctor Stephen Strange magically appearing out of portals. No Steve, no Pepper. Just a sleeping Morgan on the second floor, and a scared Isabella on the first. The wait was giving her anxiety, and her chest clenches with every minute watching the television for no new updates. She shouldn’t be watching this, but what else can she do? She can’t wait for another upset, she just can’t.

She’s about to run up to check on Morgan, when a portal appears. It’s Steve, his blue eyes widening as he spots her by the couch.

One look at Steve, and Isabella falls apart.

He’s clearly been hurt badly – she doesn’t miss the limp in his step. But he’s also been healing, the cuts and bruises on his face didn’t look like they were made just hours ago. He takes her in his arms, where she cries into his chest, trembling. “Oh, Isabella.” He murmurs, crushing her into a bear hug – their _tradition_. He lets her hold him tightly, pulling him in for comfort while he tries to think of a way to break the news. 

“Steve. You’re okay.” Izzy mumbles against his shoulder, then pulls away quickly, noticing his wince. He must be in great pain, and she’s just hurting him more. “Oh shit, I didn’t mean to.” She tried to let go of him, but he holds her closer. Isabella’s okay and she’s still here and that’s the best he can ask for in a time like this. 

“It’s fine.” Steve’s eyes darken, but he presses through the pain. “I’m sorry I couldn’t promise you.”

“Who was it? Who’s gone?” She’s quick to ask, stopping him. 

He falters. He’s been tasked to deliver the impossible news, and... he doesn’t know if he’s the right person. Whatever just happened, it’s not going to stop replaying in his head. 

Isabella changes her mind. They can delay this a little longer. “Did Bucky...”

Steve lights up a little. “Yes, and Sam. Wanda. They...” He pauses, then looks away. “They are resting.”

“Did you kill Thanos? Was it worth it?” Isabella whispers. She knows who left. Someone else sacrificed himself, with only Steve here, and Pepper absent. Pepper said she’ll be back. And the way Strange wasn’t going to tell her... she thought it would be Steve. Except Steve’s here, and Pepper’s still away. Her tears fall even before Steve confirms it.

“... Thanos is gone.” Steve trails off, silent. He doesn’t know how to tell Isabella this. He can’t answer her next question, because he doesn’t _know_ if it was worth it. Natasha, and now... He can’t explain this to Izzy. Or Morgan, who’s probably sleeping. “Isabella...”

“Was it peaceful?” She chokes back a sob, pressing though the tears that come stubbornly. “Did he go peacefully?”

This time, Steve’s tears roll down his cheeks, and he forces a smile. “Yes... he saved the universe, Izzy. He took all the stones in his hand and snapped Thanos and his army away.”

“Oh.” Isabella breathes, shocked. There’s no point beating around the bush anymore, she knows he must have sacrificed himself to carry out such a feat. “Steve... it was Tony, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

Isabella pretends not to hear the crack in his voice. Tony Stark was not her favourite person before. But he grew on her, and he helped her more than ever with advice, and keeping things light after the snap. Heck, his _daughter_ was sleeping upstairs, for God’s sake. He wasn’t even into the idea at first, because of all the stakes he had. And she knows this is _killing_ Steve, having Tony sacrifice himself for the universe, just like how Natasha did. 

She feels the déjà vu just by asking the same question. “Is he really gone?”

Steve nods once, because if he opens his mouth to answer her, he’s going to lose it.

They’ve lost two Avengers to get to this victory. 

So when Isabella starts to sob again, Steve holds her close, and they both find themselves in another moment crying for the fallen.

_Again_. 

* * *

When Tony dies, Steve starts to doubt.

They won. At what cost? He feels empty and hollow inside, unlike the celebratory mode everyone else was having. They brought half the universe back and lost two of their own, and yet he can’t help but feel selfish for yearning for a better ending. 

He joins Isabella by the lake, just behind Pepper, Morgan, and Happy Hogan. As Pepper settles Tony’s tribute down the lake, Isabella’s barely noticing the new faces around her, feeling numb. She’s not ready to let go. Even after this day ends, she’ll never remember how it was like to be her again. 

It’s too soon to be singing again. But it feels only right, and if it makes Pepper happy, she will. The last time she did this, they were at the lake house for Tony and Pepper’s wedding. All those years ago, not knowing what’s to come. Natasha was the one who smiled down proudly at her, and she watched Nat and Steve dance, having the most fun in months. Now, she’s back for his _funeral_, one guardian less. 

This time, Steve clutches her hand as she leads the tribute, and the Avengers look beyond the lake in memory of the two fallen ones.

_All I want is nothing more_

_To hear you knocking at my door_

_'Cause if I could see your face once more_

_I could die as a happy man I'm sure_

At the funeral, little Morgan doesn’t quite understand. She holds Pepper’s hand, watches the crowd in black, and stays silent throughout. She doesn’t ask for her father, or her red headed aunt. Isabella’s done with lying to her. One day, she’ll grow up to realize what dangerous roles the Avengers have played. For now, Isabella can’t bear to face her. She’s made up her mind now; she can’t go back. This is the end, and whatever lies beyond, she doesn’t know. 

_But If you loved me_

_Why did you leave me?_

_Take my body_

_Take my body_

_All I want is_

_All I need is_

_To find somebody_

_I'll find somebody_

Clint barely meets Laura’s eyes when she asks if he’s okay. He doesn’t know anymore. When he looks at his family, or even when he closes his eyes, all he can see is Natasha, broken and bleeding all over Vormir. Or Tony, half destroyed from the stones. Isabella, and the look of devastation as she yelled at him. Instead, he nods and looks away.

_Cause you brought out the best of me_

_A part of me I'd never seen_

Thor looks around, at the different families gathered for one Tony Stark’s funeral. How he desperately wished that the snap would have undone Thanos’ doings, but it could never bring Loki back. He thinks about their mother, wise beyond her years, unwilling to change her fate. Of his father, who never really acted like one, but still made him the person he was. 

_You took my soul wiped it clean_

Bruce looks out at the lake, remembering two important people. One they threw roses for, and the other they are gathered again. He wonders if the Hulk agrees that they were stronger than the two of them combined. Mental strength over physical strength, the Hulk definitely agrees. 

_Our love was made for movie screens_

Steve watches Isabella, and even he can’t help but resist wiping a tear. He’s been trying real hard not to lose it in front of his friends. Not to shake Bucky and Sam, who’s been trying to get him to open up. He can’t tell them about Natasha. Can’t tell them what happened in the last five years because if he thinks about it, he might lose it. He needs to stay strong for Isabella, because she’s another one that Natasha’s left behind too, and he knows she needs him to be the one who holds them together. 

_But If you loved me_

_Why did you leave me?_

_Take my body_

_Take my body_

_All I want is_

_All I need is_

_To find somebody_

_I'll find somebody_

As the last note fades away, Isabella crumbles, sobbing as Steve pulls her into a side hug to muffle her sobs. He needs to stay strong. With everyone around them in tears, he can’t help but shed a few too, brushing them away before anyone else can see him. 

“That was beautiful.” He whispers to Isabella, even as Pepper rushes forward to thank her and continue letting everyone know there were refreshments at the back. Pepper, who was doing a million things at once, and hadn’t let Morgan out of her sight since coming back. Steve wants to help her, he does. But maybe it’s guilt for not being there when Tony made his decision. Or because he knew what devastation Pepper was feeling.

So he settles for letting her keep busy for now. He will talk to her soon. 

They stay by the lake even as everyone moves back into the cabin, just Isabella and him. She’s too young to be feeling this way, too young to have seen loss so many times. Yet he’s all she has now. No family, no role, and no hope.

Isabella clutches his waist in an embrace, and he holds her tight too, just him and her. No words, just slowly watching Tony’s wreath drift off further into the distance.

The same way they stood watching Natasha’s roses just a week ago.

* * *

When it’s over and Steve takes one last look at the lake and his friends, he doesn’t know what the future holds. Back in the cabin, Sam and Bucky find him and Isabella amidst the crowd, with Wanda going over to hug Clint. 

“I just want her to know that we won.” Clint says, staring at the lake through the windows, the same one they’ve thrown dozens of roses in. 

“They’ll know.” Wanda whispers, and he knows she’s talking about Vision. 

“You did good, kid.” He smiles, and for a split second, she does too. “Coming home?”

Home. It’s such a big word. Not a place to stay, but a place with family. _Home. _

Isabella_ trembles _beside Steve, and he has to hold her back again. “She asked you to come home for years.” She says, the rage evident in her voice. _Home_. He asked Wanda Maximoff if she’d like to come home. He says it with such ease she nearly wants to hit him again, and her fists clench up without her meaning to, but Steve physically restrains her, gently coaxing her back. 

“Isabella...” Steve mumbles, a hand on her shoulder and the other holding hers. 

“Not again, Steve!” The Princess yells, yanking her hand from his but he only holds onto her shoulder tighter. “Enough of shielding him.”

Wanda steps in, gently placing a hand on Isabella’s arm. “He didn’t mean it like that.”

Instead, the touch infuriates Isabella more. She shrugs away, glaring at the sorceress. “How would you know? She once said she wishes she was a better mentor to you. She was there every day to make sure your things stayed in the compound and all he did was go around killing. Home? He’s selfish. He wanted his family and he let her _die_.” Isabella’s tears fall at her last sentence, though that was rage. “And then she died without knowing whether any of you would make it back alive. Like she knew she would sacrifice herself for _all of you_ to come back.”

“Isabella!” Steve stops her again, yanking her away. He’s thankful that Pepper wasn’t around with Morgan, and that Clint’s family had gone out to give them privacy, but Sam and Bucky were clearly listening in, and so were Carol and Fury. Heck, even Bruce was trying to guide the Guardians away. “That’s enough.” He snaps, a stern warning to his tone. 

This time, Wanda drops her hand, her eyes widening. “Clint, you went around killing?”

“Isabella, please.” Clint tries to plead, except now Steve’s tired of defending him. It’s all Natasha ever did, and now he wants to hear from him too. “I promise, I wanted to, but she was always one step ahead of me. It should have been me off the cliff, but I guess I could never win her.”

Clint’s own tears shine in his eyes, and Steve knows he’s saying the truth. He knows Natasha. Even before they were dating, she was selfless, and she would have done this for Clint and his family. Still holding Isabella back, he whispers to her. “Not in front of the guests, Izzy. Please.”

“You could never win her. Not decades before, not now, and definitely never again.” Isabella narrows her eyes, ignoring Steve, and the few pairs of eyes in the room. Not Bucky, not Sam, not even Carol. She’s done with looking regal for everyone. Maybe then they’ll finally see how messed up she was, how mad with _rage_ she was with Clint. “Don’t you _dare _speak my name again, Barton. I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

But it’s Wanda who reigns the girl in, interrupting before Clint can explain himself further. “Not now, Clint.” She says, stepping away from him after his apology that might as well confirmed her question. 

Clint knows when to keep his mouth shut. He lets Wanda take Isabella’s hand and lead her out, but Steve’s eyes are stormy and unreadable. “Steve...”

Steve sighs. “Clint, I can’t do this right now.”

“I just... I need to know. Will you forgive me?”

The day before time travel, he promised Steve. Bring Natasha back. Steve asked for her hand in marriage, and said she was Clint’s best friend, and he was old fashioned enough to ask. What could Clint do? He wasn’t there to see them in the five years. Of course, he’ll bring Nat back, and he’ll give his blessings to Rogers. 

Then he went ahead and fucked up that promise too. 

“It’s not your fault.” Steve replies, automatic and emotionless like a robot. It’s not, but he feels like it could be. If it lets himself go, he’ll never be able to stop himself from killing Clint Barton. 

“I’m sorry.” Clint says anyway, even though he knows there’s nothing he can do to apologize again. He doesn’t even take it to heart when Steve looks back, his eyes cold and full of pain, walking away from him. What does he have? He has his family. Laura, Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel. 

But he also has his guilt. 

When he sees his wife and children again, he can’t help but feel it stabbing through his heart.

* * *

“Where will you go next, Wanda?” Steve mumbles, watching the brunette carefully. It’s been a long day. Isabella’s completely worn out from her explosive rant in front of Clint, and Wanda’s helped so much with calming her down, Steve’s already thankful.

In a way, it reminds him of Natasha. 

He turns away before Wanda can see his devastation. 

“I don’t know.” Wanda says truthfully. Steve understands. The compound is gone, and he doesn’t want to leave Isabella behind. His apartment in Brooklyn was too small, and he might have to trouble Pepper on helping them find another apartment. 

“You’re always welcome to join me and Izzy.” Steve offers.

Wanda nods, then before she loses her nerve, decides to ask further. “What the Princess said... did Natasha really say that?

“You know Nat.” Steve chuckles. “She’s not the most open person. She feels very strongly about helping people, and perhaps she told Isabella that in one of their moments together.”

“In the last five years... did anything happen between you two?”

Steve falters, the ring in his pocket weighing him down again. He’s a fool. He can’t keep pretending around his friends that he was fine. 

The pain in his eyes is enough for Wanda to understand. “I thought so. She was always good for you.”

“Good in keeping me away from trouble?” Steve attempts a joke.

“Good in bringing out the best in you.” Wanda smiles warmly. “I’m sorry, Steve.”

“Why are you sorry? We won.” He shakes his head. This victory, with half the universe restored... it’s supposed to be a happy one. The biggest they’ve all witnessed. 

“At a cost.” Wanda murmurs. They’ve all lost people. Tony Stark sacrificed himself for all of humanity, and Natasha for the plan to even have a chance of working. She wonders what would have happened if Vision’s stone was removed before all this. Or if they just got to Wakanda earlier for Shuri to remove it properly. 

Steve’s eyes darken. “Sometimes, it’s the risk that comes with this job.”

“Did you continue with the Avengers after...” Wanda hesitates, unsure. This was all still very strange to her. 

“No.” This time, Steve’s voice is filled with pain. “Natasha did.”

There’s silence as Wanda struggles to find the words to continue. But Steve shakes himself out of it, and stops her from apologizing. “I won’t force you to stay with us, Wanda. But you could stay, maybe just for the next few days. Until...” He trails off, looking upstairs. “Until Isabella’s feeling less alone.”

Wanda doesn’t know how the Princess got so close. For them, it was five years. But for her, it was five seconds. There’s things better left untouched, with a devastated Captain America in front of her, and a tensed mood placed within the remaining Avengers. 

“Of course.” She replies. It’s the least she could do for now.

* * *

For the first time, Clint tells Laura what happened at Vormir. He tells her about the red skull, the fight, Natasha’s reasoning, and her final act of selflessness.

Then he tells her Nat’s last words. 

“She asked me to let her go.” He whispers, but Laura’s already sobbing. 

“I owe her everything.” Laura sobs, letting her tears flow. 

“No, you don’t owe her anything.” Clint replies solemnly, wiping his wife’s tears. 

When he closes his eyes, he thinks about Natasha’s cold body at the bottom of the cliff, Steve's disappointment, and Isabella's rage, and manages to speak.

“_I_ do.” 

* * *

Fury gathers his intel, looks at the headlines, and forces himself not to think back. 

The Avengers compound is nothing but rubble. He tries not to think about how one of his best agent’s belongings were now ashes and dust, just like what half the universe was for five years. 

Carol Danvers has her hair cut, but she still wears the same smirk she has had since day one. “You’ve aged.”

“Life does that to you.” He doesn’t joke back, but if she’s surprised at his new image, she doesn’t let it show.

“I hear Iron Man was a founding member of the Avengers.” She says, staring at the papers he had on his desk. Then she looks into the distance, a little forlorn. “Natasha always spoke fondly of him. Even when she was teasing him, or calling him out on his ways.”

“They all were, in their own right.” Fury agrees. “Will you be staying?”

“When Nat told me that the channel was always open, I let her be, because she had been saying that for the past five years.” Carol shakes her head, for she is not one to mourn. “I once told them there were plenty of other planets, but the one planet I always return to is this one. Maybe it’s time I stay for a little while. Just to settle things.”

She watches him closely, deciding that years of experience has left him cold, different from the time she first met him. “Were you close to them?”

Fury thinks about the first time he met Natasha Romanoff. He was furious that his best marksman had brought back the target instead of shooting her point blank. And then he was livid that the said target started to destroy his faculty and end up wounding several agents. But Natasha came in, barely an adult, still a young teenager. If he had known better, he would say she looked like an angrier, Russian Carol Danvers. But Romanoff was her own character, and the only one besides Hill that made her way up by his side. Nevertheless, she was still a spy, and somethings couldn’t be trusted. 

Maybe the biggest regret he had with Romanoff was faking his death. Too late for that now, because they didn’t even have a proper funeral for her, and Barton looked as if he had aged fifty years in the past five years alone. He had sent Hill to ask if he would like to rejoin his new Avengers initiative, never mind that the look on his face told him everything he would have needed to know. 

“Natasha, she took some getting used to. Could take down a room full of men without even a weapon – she was the most lethal weapon you could have possessed.” Fury thinks for a moment, wondering if he would call her close. “You’d never find anyone else like her.”

Then he looks at the large Avengers logo stamped on the front of his classified file. Tony Stark was a big pain in his ass all those years ago when he sent Romanoff to figure out what was happening. It’s funny, how both of them grew and evolved into companions. 

Stark was a genius, even if he was an egoist genius. He was the type to fix problems with his skill and intelligence, and God knows how Pepper managed him. But Stark was generous and genuinely cared for the team, more than he would let on. 

“Stark’s a textbook narcissist. I let Romanoff access him for the Avengers, and that’s exactly what she described him as. But this team, they grew on each other. Changed their ways. Nothing lasts forever, Danvers. And they’ll always be remembered.”

Carol stands by Fury, and he doesn’t flinch when she lands a warm hand on his shoulder. “And the rest of them?”

“They’ll learn to heal.” Fury decides, hearing the knock on the door and knowing that Hill was done with her arrangements. 

“Any luck, Hill?” He asks the moment Maria steps into the room.

“As predicted, Clint’s never coming back.” There’s a glint in Maria’s eye as she says this, like she hated even asking him. They’ve been in SHIELD the longest, and Romanoff’s death hasn’t been kind to any of them. “T’Challa will stay in Wakanda for now, and Peter Parker’s a teenager, Fury. You can’t ask him this yet.”

Fury shrugs like he’ll find a way to enlist Parker eventually. “How do you think the Princess will fare?”

Carol stares at him for a moment, until she realizes he’s not kidding. “Not now, Nick. She’s mourning.”

“I must admit, it was a surprise seeing how close she got to the team.” Fury’s a little taken aback by Carol’s response, but he had a plan in mind when he saw her. “But she’s trained for this. Her whole life, in the spotlight. She’d handle the pressure better than Hill, even.” Maria looks away; she could handle Nick Fury’s dirty work, but asking Isabella, who’s barely _legal_, right after the funeral? They all saw her and Steve, grief overwhelming her. She’s not that heartless. 

“Nick.” Carol warns. “Isabella’s barely holding it together. Were you not at the funeral? The way she lashed out at Clint?”

“Sometimes the best way to move on is to stay occupied.” Fury ignores her, and she wonders what has happened in the past decade for Nick to become so cold. “And I have a feeling she’s been through this before.”

“You’re playing with fire.” Carol finally says. “She barely listens to Steve now. Don’t touch her, Fury. You’d at least do this for me.” If Carol comes off as angry, she hopes it gets across to him. 

“Sir... Danvers has a point.” Maria agrees, folding her arms.

He’ll rebuild another team, but he’ll never replace his original one. Still, he needs one. He’s not one to be unprepared. Fury doesn’t nod or acknowledge their opinions – he’ll find a way. 

In his mind, he’s already planning.

* * *

Pain stretches on.

This pain isn’t physical. It’s a dull, throbbing ache in her heart, a harsh reminder of what has happened, and what she’s going to live through for the rest of her life.

Isabella stays numb whilst the world moves on.

The funeral for Tony was what everyone talked about, from CNN to The New York Times. They set up makeshift shrines for Iron Man, and light up candles for him. They put together long opinion articles about why Tony Stark will never be forgotten. They talk about the number of lives he’s saved and how many more he’s inspired. 

And they left her to think about Natasha, dead at the bottom of some cliff, forgotten.

Steve tries so hard to keep her functioning, it’s not fair on him. He brings her food, makes her cups of tea, and just stays with her until he can’t. But even he can’t keep the nightmares away. She dreams about black voids and flames and her parents shouting for help. 

Steve tries, but she doesn’t. 

“Isabella.” He says one day, pain in his tone. “You can’t keep doing this.”

She turns away; it’s easier that way. 

“You can’t keep pushing me away because I’m all you have left.”

He’s right, and she knows it. She used to have everything: the title, the prestige, and the fame. Now she has nothing. No parents, no guardian, no mentor. No one. 

“Please.” Steve whispers, taking her hand.

Isabella lets him hug her, the tears soaking his shirt, but still she says nothing. There’s nothing left to say. 

She has _nothing_.

* * *

At night, Clint dreams.

Most times they are at the edge of the cliff, and he sees her falling into the darkness. Once, he manages to leap off, only for her to jump too and hit the ground first, before he wakes up drenched in cold sweat. 

Sometimes she talks, and he listens, because even in a dream he wants to remember every bit of her.

“You’re being an idiot, Clint.” She says one night, after he had barely fallen asleep on the couch instead of his own bedroom, not wanting to wake Laura up from his dreams again.

“Stop thinking about me.” Natasha shouts, her eyes glaring dangerously. Her hair’s still in a braid, the roots red from its natural colour and not blood, but he doesn’t dare look closer.

For the first time since the dreams started, he opens his mouth to speak. “How can I, when I’m the one who let you go?” 

Natasha smiles, and his heart aches, knowing that it’s not real. She takes his hand, opening it up to reveal a single glowing stone, and kisses his palm. 

“You didn’t, Clint – I won. You’ve always been the weaker one.”

He wakes up not only drenched in sweat but sobbing, breaking the stillness of the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more before this closes, it's been a real journey. I'm sorry it didn't up non canon compliant when it was so obviously different from the movie, but I have a tie in follow up in mind that will explain everything, hopefully. See you at the last chapter!


	13. f i n a l

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Isabella, he softens his gaze. “I tried, Izzy. She wasn’t there.”
> 
> Isabella nods, and he walks over to give her a hug before her tears can fall. “I had a feeling she wouldn’t.”
> 
> “I want you to keep this.” He says, reaching into his pocket. Then he’s pressing a necklace into her hands – but it’s not just any necklace. It’s a silver chain with a single gold band hanging on it, and her eyes widen. 

A week after the funeral, Steve visits Bruce at his lab. 

Sam and Bucky are bickering at the back, and some things never change, but a small voice at the back of his mind reminds him that it already did. He asks it to shut up, and presses forward.

“The protector of the time stone in 2012 told me we had to return the stones, otherwise her timeline and many others would suffer.”

It’s a little uncanny to see Bruce as the Hulk, large, green and handling several gadgets at once, but Steve’s just glad Sam isn’t commenting on that. 

“Hank Pym – genius, by the way. I have to read up more on his work – he gave us more Pym particles to do the time travel. We’re going to need a lot of help; do you think Thor and Barton would do it?” Even asking, Bruce knows it’s a long shot, and the doubt is evident in his tone. 

“No.” Steve shakes his head, and somehow at the back Sam and Bucky are no longer exchanging sarcastic quips. The room is quiet for some time, but they pretend like it’s normal. “Clint’s still mourning, Bruce. We can’t do that to him.” 

“It’s not any different from you, Steve.” Bruce says, worried. “How’s Izzy?”

Steve looks away, distraught. “She needs more time.”

Bruce freezes, then sighs, shutting off his access to his multiple screens in front of him. “I know it’s been some time, but did we do it? I’ve been asking myself that all the time. So, we’ve saved the world again. But nobody will know that Nat gave her life for that to happen. Hell, Tony left behind his child, and we all know we could have had the chance live our lives the way it was.”

Sam and Bucky stiffen, because they know it’s them who were saved, but at the cost of two of their own. If it’s a personal dig, they can’t find a will to take it to heart. Steve places a warning hand to Sam, who struggles to find words for once.

“It’s the risk that comes with the job.” Steve finally says, blinking away the tears in his eyes. He’s been repeating that for days, to various people. Yet Bruce is right, because no one will feel the way they felt. He thinks of Thor, going back to drinking, of Clint, guilt in his eyes. 

Of Isabella – who hasn’t really said much. She doesn’t come out for her meals, and sometimes he has to force it into her system. Pepper helps sometimes, but she has Morgan, and they can’t impose her for too long. He doesn’t really know what to do, at this point. Natasha would. She did it for months even though he had signed the forms to be her guardian, and all he did was hide in his apartment. 

Sometimes, he looks at Isabella, her lifeless eyes, and it’s too much for him to bear. 

Of Bruce, in front of him and burying himself in mountains and mountains of experiments and work.

Of himself, his two best friends behind him, and another two taken too soon from the world. 

But Bucky and Sam will have each other. They’ve lost some and gained more, so why does he still feel so empty? 

“I’ll return the stones.” Steve decides, looking at Bruce. 

“Steve, what if something goes wrong? I’m coming with you, man.” Sam ignores Bucky’s warnings, already made up his mind.

“No, it’s something I’ll have to do myself.” Steve shakes his head, his mind made up. He thinks of the last time they time travelled, then clears his head before he remembers that they came back with one gone.

“Besides, it will only take a minute.”

Bruce lets out a shaky breath, both of them recognizing those words. It hits too close to home, too. “Go get ready. I’ll set this up.”

Steve decides to bring along Mjölnir, and suits up, but hesitates for a second. He should tell Isabella. He nearly leaves without finding her, but then he realizes that this might hurt her too much beyond repair. He’s not taking this out on her, the emptiness in him. It’s not her fault, it’s _never_ her fault, but her presence reminds him that he’s not doing too well either.

He still has the image of her sobbing in his arms very clearly. For Isabella, she’s gone through too much to be hurt again if he does this. 

So he promises her that it won’t take long, and she leaves the comfort of the lake house, the first time in days. She’s still silent, but at least she’s coming along.

“You’ll come back, right?”

At first, he does a double take. Isabella hasn’t spoken in days. He’s tried so hard, because he knows it’s what Na– what _she _would have wanted. The pain in his heart hasn’t healed. He’ll never forget the way her red hair shone in the sun, how she lit up his life with her laugh. It hurts him too much to even think about her name.

Isabella is young. Too young to go through so much pain in some short years. He knows she needs someone, and it’s going to be him. But now she looks so vulnerable in her hoodie that’s clearly not hers, her eyes tired and swollen from all the crying. He knows it’s Natasha’s. It’s one of the only things saved from the wreck, because Isabella had it with her. 

“I’ll be back before you know it.” Steve wants to say more. About how he promises to be back. But there’s mistrust in her eyes, and he hates that she doesn’t believe him. 

And that he doesn’t trust himself either.

And so he steps up on the podium Bruce has built and prepared as Isabella stands beside him, with this two best friends looking on. 

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.” Steve tells Bucky exasperatedly, but his eyes are soft. Bucky will understand. 

Bucky meets his gaze, nodding at Isabella, and Steve knows she’s in safe hands. “How can I when you’re taking all the stupid with you?”

Steve lets himself chuckle, then prepares himself for the journey ahead. He’s not too worried about time travel, despite all that’s happened. There are some expectations he’s holding on this journey, and where he needs to go, but he forces himself to stop thinking about what he wants.

After all, it will only take a minute. 

* * *

Steve returns to New York first, and decides to leave 2012 Steve a note. _Bucky’s alive. Don’t trust SHIELD. _

He nearly stops when he sees Natasha, her hair short and red as ever, the burning glint in her eyes so unlike the Nat he knew in the past five years. She was always so determined, so resolved, and he loves her for that. For a moment, he wants to give her a note, too. _We’re family. You are never alone. _

And then, _I love you_. Just because.

He decides against it ultimately, because it’s too risky and knowing Nat she wouldn’t rest until she found the owner of the note. Still, he leaves behind a single rose on her desk at SHIELD, wondering if she’ll ever find it when she never liked to use it. 

There’s no time for sentimental thoughts, so he returns the space stone back to the tesseract as easily as he had gotten it from Rumalow in the elevator (hail hydra, really? They defeated Thanos and he still has to say shit like that?) 

He follows what Bruce said about the time stone, and meets the ancient one. She’s not expecting him, and doesn’t bother to hide it.

“Did it work?” She asks, keeping the stone in her custody again.

Did it? Bruce had just asked something similar, before the time jump. He couldn’t answer that, and now he’s being asked the same question again. What worked? What hadn’t? He thinks of Tony Stark’s funeral, of his little girl Morgan and Pepper Potts crying at the lake. Of Clint trying not to shake Laura off. Of Isabella’s lifeless eyes these past few weeks.

“Yes.” He lies, because maybe if he says it enough he’ll start to believe that it was worth it, too. 

* * *

Thor watches as the Guardians prepare to leave, stocking up on human food and whatever Peter Quill had gotten obsessed with. There’s the rabbit, the tree, and funny feelings girl, the muscle dude and Nebula. No Gamora; but he doesn’t want to know what happened to her anyway.

“You sure you don’t want to stay here? Plenty more beer.” Valkyrie asks, but his mind is made up. Alcohol isn’t the solution or the end, even if it does take the pain away.

“Plenty more adventures left in the universe.” He nods to the spaceship. New Asgard had never been his to run in the last five years, and she was the only one who kept it going. It’s time, he decides – he was never King material anyway.

“They’ll need someone to be their leader.” Thor says casually, looking down at the humble homes the Asgardians have built for themselves. “A strong, fearless warrior. And it can’t be me.”

“Thor– “

“Valkyrie. You’ve been taking care of them for years. There’s no one else worthy of being the Queen.”

“You know, usually kings marry their queens.” She laughs. 

“You can marry your own king.” Thor smiles, and she hits him playfully on the shoulder. 

They are far from the majestic towers of Asgard, and Earth was not just a haven now, but their home. Still, she can’t help but feel proud of what they’ve achieved. He’s lost more than anything, but he was Thor, god of thunder – things will get better. 

“Loki’s dead.” He says gently, overseeing the view. “In this universe, he’s gone. He was nothing but trouble, but he was my brother.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“You and me, we lost. But you stayed for my people. That’s what makes you worthy.” Thor summons Stormbreaker, feeling the weight of it in his hand. He grins as she stays unimpressed, never flinching – reminding him of someone else.

“Are you done? I’ll leave without you, fattie.” Rocket calls from afar, walking to the ship.

“Take care of yourself, Thor.” Valkyrie gives him a hug, nodding towards Rocket and Groot. 

Thor looks around, at the little place his people have come to call home, at the new Queen of Asgard, and nods. “You too.” 

* * *

Asgard is everything Thor has described, and Steve doesn’t waste time finding Jane and getting the stone back quickly –before she even yells at him, that is, after seeing someone inject something into her.

He also leaves Mjolnir behind, so that past Thor can have it. 

Then it’s off to get the power stone back to where it’s at, the simplest of all of them, until he realizes there’s the soul stone next. 

Clint hasn’t warned him much about the cliff, the stone, or who guards it. Steve knows he’s never going to get over it, but neither will he. None of them will. In some ways, they’ve lost as much as they’ve gained back. 

It’s cold when he gets there, and even though he hates the cold from when he crashed all those decades ago, he wonders if it bothered her. They’ve done countless of missions under S.H.I.E.L.D in the coldest of places, but she claims to be born Russian and used to it. 

“Steven Rogers, son of Sarah.” 

He almost curses seeing the Red Skull again, but decides he doesn’t really want to know why he’s there. This is not his purpose. He has something more pressing, more _devastating_ to attend to.

“I want to return the stone.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. What’s done is done.” 

_A soul for a soul. _That’s the stupidest shit Steve’s ever heard of, but then again so has all of the past five years for him when Thanos came into their lives. “I don’t care what you do, take it back.”

“She’s not coming back.” The Red Skull says, and Steve wants to punch him. “She chose, and the one with the arrows lives.”

“Take it back.” Steve whispers, slightly shaken. She didn’t deserve this, and neither did Gamora. Clint didn’t deserve to be reminded of this either, and Tony never deserved to give up his life for the world. Furious, he throws the stone to the ground. “Take it _back_.” 

“I am cursed to guard the stone, but I cannot accept it back.”

“Well, I’m giving it back.” Steve refuses to cry, turning his back to the Red Skull, looking down at the edge of the cliff. He doesn’t know what to expect, but it’s a long fall, and she’s not there. Nothing is there, there’s no sign of her. Natasha Romanoff is dead and he has nothing to remember her by, no body, no funeral and no _stone_.

He’s failed them all. He thinks of Isabella waiting back at home, and his tears start to form. She’s gone and he can’t accept it, but this is his job. They lived lives and he misses her so much, her teasing glint in her eyes, her smirk, her red lips —everything about her. Yet he needs to do this. Without the stone back in place, it might mess the system up again. And they’ve sacrificed too much to let that happen. 

He just misses her so much.

So he takes out the soul stone, the one that ties her very soul to it, and releases it down the cliff, forcing himself to watch as it plummets down. Remembering her. Every single moment right from the moment they met at the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, to their moments alone and her light touches. When he closes his eyes, he can still see her vividly, her red hair flying and her green eyes sparkling. 

And there’s regret too. He should have kissed her for the last time before they went back in time.

He forces himself to watch as the stone falls, because that’s what Clint did, seeing her fall. And he’s reduced to an empty person back home, so then maybe he’ll get what it was like if he had to see the one he loves fall to her death. 

He’s sobbing before the bright light even blinds him and he finds himself sitting in a pool of water, the Red Skull gone and the cliff far, far away. 

Finally, he can cry in peace – and let it all out in the solitude of this cursed planet.

* * *

_New Jersey, 1970_

Again.

Steve’s last stop, where he almost wanted to stay and never leave. 

He doesn’t know how Tony managed to sneak in to get the Tesseract, because it’s a maze getting in. Seeing Howard again nearly sends him into a daze, because in 2023 Tony is dead, and the world is saved because of him, and Howard Stark doesn’t know his contribution to that timeline.

Steve thinks of Bucky, still frozen at this point of the timeline. If he wasn’t in the ice at this point, would he have gone to save him? They never recovered a body, and it reminds him of Natasha. But Bucky’s alive, and she isn’t. 

He forces himself to go on. Move past Peggy’s office, get out and return back. All five stones returned, he’s done. Done with his final task, done as Captain America. Then he’ll return back home, and move on. Help Isabella move on. Help _himself_ pick up the pieces even as the ring in his pocket stays untouched. 

“Steve?”

If it was anyone else, he could have moved on, pretend he didn’t hear it. He didn’t have to turn around. But it’s her, and he hasn’t heard her voice in years. There’s only two people who can make him feel this way, and one of them is dead. 

And he just got rid of the very item that she exchanged her soul for. 

So he turns, his voice cracking as he whispers her name.

“Peggy.”

* * *

Everything comes out too fast.

Steve tells Peggy everything. About all his mistakes, his stubbornness. But also about all his triumphs, his newfound friends, his passions. 

“She’s gone. Sacrificed herself for the rest of humanity and the universe.” He breathes out slowly, but the tears still leak out. “And I can’t go back home to think about that every day.”

Peggy brushes her hands against his cheeks, wiping his hot tears. It takes everything in him not to mention the cold wedding ring on her left hand. “You never catch a break, huh?” She whispers, clutching his hands.

“No ma’am.” _We would never have made it in this universe. _Even now, Natasha’s words haunt him. 

“You can’t stay here.” She says finally, shaking her head. He hasn’t even told her of his plan, yet she knows him too well. “That’s selfish, Steve. You have people waiting for you back home. Bucky. Sam?”

“Yes.” He closes his eyes. “And Isabella. I promised, Pegs. I promised I’d be back, but... I can’t go back to see her cry again. She’s not supposed to be breaking down again. I told you — I saw her lose her parents.” 

Peggy stares at him for a moment. “I’d be lying if I said I don’t think about you often. I think I did for far too long until I met Daniel. Steve, I’ve lived my life. Do you see the grey hairs? I’ve lived a good number of decades now.”

He smiles; it’s exactly what she said back when he met her for the first time since getting out of the ice. Some things will never change. 

She shakes her head again, and smiles gently, returning his. “You can’t stay here, Steve. Not in this universe with another Captain America stuck in the ice. You need to go back, and stay with Isabella. She needs you, and... I’m sorry about Natasha.”

Steve feels the tears come again, but he forces himself to look at Peggy. She’s right, he can’t be so selfish. Staying would mean screwing up the timeline in her universe, and she’s married with children now, he can’t take that away from her. Besides, his heart belonged to someone else, even if she was gone.

“I wasn’t supposed to be seen by you, that’s not how it went the last time I came.” He admits. “But before I go, I need to do something.”

He offers a hand, extending it towards her gently. “I think I still owe you a dance.”

Peggy only looks down at his arm and laughs, then grasps his hand with her own. “I think you do.”

* * *

When Steve returns back to reality, he’s physically and mentally exhausted. 

He’s also a few seconds later than anticipated, but maybe the dance with Peggy was worth it. He’s completed that chapter, at least, even if he couldn’t quite manage the same for Natasha. 

His friends are anxiously waiting too, and Sam’s nearly decking Bruce, thinking that there might have been something wrong. Instead, it’s the shock in Bucky’s eyes that gets him more. 

“I thought you were going to stay behind.” Bucky admits, helping him down the platform as Sam takes the empty case from him. 

“For a moment, I thought so too.” Steve confesses, then quickly eyes Isabella to check on her. He’s not selfish. He promised Natasha all those years ago that he would take care of the Princess when they became her guardians, and he will do it again now. “Couldn’t leave this behind.”

To Isabella, he softens his gaze. “I tried, Izzy. She wasn’t there.”

Isabella nods, and he walks over to give her a hug before her tears can fall. “I had a feeling she wouldn’t.”

“I want you to keep this.” He says, reaching into his pocket. Then he’s pressing a necklace into her hands – but it’s not just any necklace. It’s a silver chain with a single gold band hanging on it, and her eyes widen. 

“Steve, I can’t take this from you.”

Steve unclasps the hook carefully, then puts it on Izzy’s neck quickly before she can protest any further. “I can’t hang on to this.” He forces himself not to cry, a soft smile on his face as he wipes Isabella’s tears with his free hand. It comes anyway, just as it did with Peggy, except this time his tears come hot and heavy, impairing his vision and the ring becomes nothing but a blur. “She would have wanted this. I... I wanted to throw it down Vormir with the stone. But... I think I want to give this to you.”

“Steve...” Even Sam’s a little shocked. They all recognize the ring now, even if Isabella and Steve were the only people who knew the meaning behind it. It’s so easy to guess what it was. _Who_ it was meant for. The fiery redhead who died to save the world, forgotten by the public who mourned for the man who sacrificed his life too. 

Isabella sobs, not just for Natasha, but also because Steve’s silent tears were worse than anything she’s seen. He’s been holding it together for the past few weeks, not for her but for Sam and Bucky too, and sending the stones back to its place must have been too much. She clings onto him, burying her face in his chest even as 

he tries to pull her away to wipe her tears. 

Steve looks up to Bucky, who’s quietly watching from the side, his eyes dark and sad. His oldest friend must have guessed his plan, but they don’t need words to communicate – Bucky’s giving him space for now.

They’ll have each other. Peggy’s right, Steve thinks. He has to move on, and he can’t be so selfish when Natasha has left behind so much. Isabella, who he desperately wishes could get over this. Sam and Bucky, even with their bickering. Clint, who’s holed up at his farm, finally accepting that Isabella’s not going to forgive him and maybe too guilty to face him. Even Wanda, who’s been staying at his apartment despite Pepper’s kind words to let them stay at one of their many places. 

“It’s okay.” He whispers, holding Isabella. He wipes his tears away, and looks to Sam and Bucky, nodding his reassurance. “It’s going to be okay.”

He’s not done. There’s a shield to pass on. He lifts the large, obnoxious blue, white and red shield, one he’s stolen from 2012, and passes it to Sam, who’s still shell shocked from the ring. “Take this.”

“Huh?”

“Take it, Sam.” 

Sam does, confused. “Um, you want me to polish this?”

“No, stupid.” Bucky speaks first, rolling his eyes. 

“Bucky.” Steve warms disapprovingly. “Sam, I want you to have it.”

“Steve?” Isabella’s asks uncertainly. She knows where he’s heading with this, but she’s not sure if he means it.

“I can’t be Captain America. Not anymore.” Steve shakes his head, smiling sadly. “I’ve given up my whole life to do this. It’s time I let it go. Sam... you’ve been with me for so long. I can’t think of a reason why this shouldn’t be yours.”

“You sure about this?” Sam eyes Steve, then Bucky. He’s not enhanced. He’s no super soldier, and he doesn’t have a metal arm. There’s a million reasons why this shield shouldn’t be his, contrary to what Steve thinks.

“Take it, Sam.” Bucky nods. He understands Steve, and why he would want to step down. Sam’s as trustworthy as one could get, and there’s no one else that could carry the Captain America mantle as well as he would. He’s not asking for anything like that either. He’s just Bucky Barnes, and they have all the time in the world to live, to finally be free from the war or the pain. 

Sam holds the shield, feeling it in his hands. It’s sturdier than it looked, and lighter than he thought. With practice, he could wield it well. 

“How does it feel?” Steve grins.

“Like it was made for someone else.”

“Don’t be dramatic.” Bucky scolds. “It’s yours.”

“Don’t think I’ll leave you out of this, Barnes.” Sam retorts back. “You’ll be hearing from me more often than you’ll think.”

Steve laughs, then looks back at Isabella, his eyes shining. They’ll be okay. He’s retiring now, and he’ll have time. Time to heal, and time to move on. She returns the smile as he gathers her into another bear hug, the ring digging into her neck, but this time, she knows they have time.

No matter how long it might take.

* * *

_One month after_

“How’s your mom?”

Isabella stirs her latte with the spoon, the cup still sitting untouched since she got there. She doesn’t know why she thought this would be a good idea. Maybe because Steve’s been pushing for her to go out more, or to join him for his new therapy groups in Brooklyn for families affected after all this. Whatever it is, she regrets leaving the safety of the apartment today. 

Ivy stares at her like she’s gone mad, then the look morphs into pity and sorrow, just like she once did years ago when she found out her secret. “Don’t do this, Isabella.” Ivy murmurs, reaching out to clutch her hand. 

“I’m fine.” She shrugs it off. She doesn’t need pity. “How’s your family?” She tries again. Ivy’s dad must be pleasantly happy with the Avengers now.

“They are... good. We took a drive up to my grandparents’ place the other day.” There’s no point avoiding it, with how hesitant Ivy is in saying anymore. “Izzy... how are you?”

“I’m great.” Isabella grins, even though it’s pointless to lie. “Yesterday, Wanda left for Sokovia. Told me she’d send a postcard.”

Wanda also told her to take care of Steve and wished her luck for NYU. Unfortunately for her, she was going to be very disappointed when she finds out that NYU was a scam, as would Steve.

“Um, the one with the red powers?”

“Yeah.” Isabella shrugs. 

Ivy stares at her a little more, then sighs. “Ok, this isn’t working. Izzy, I know what happened. I can’t let this just go by without knowing if you’re going to be okay. You were close to them, Tony and Na–“

“Don’t say her name.” Isabella snaps, then winces as she realises her mistake. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

“You were close to them.” Ivy repeats, softer now. She has her answer. Isabella was _not_ okay, no matter how she tried to say it. “And I hate that you lost them both but somehow, the rest of the world got our families back, including me. How the hell can I sit here and drink lattes with you?”

Isabella thinks about the tens of thousands, _millions_ of families reunited. Billions of people brought back because of two sacrifices. You’d do that for anyone. It was simple math – exchange two for billions. 

And yet, she was selfish. She wished it wasn’t the case. That Tony never found a way to use the quantum realm for time travel, and that Natasha never thought of herself as the sacrifice. Then what? Billions stayed dead? And the rest of the world continued to mourn and play the blame game? 

_Selfish. _

“It needed to be done.” Isabella whispers, avoiding Ivy’s eyes. “If that was what it took to bring everyone back, it had to be done.” 

Ivy stays silent, then reaches into her bag to pull out something and handling over. It’s a photo frame, but it’s the drawing safely tucked inside that makes Isabella tear up – a watercolour of Natasha, her bright red hair and a swirling maroon dress. It’s something recent, just a few months ago at Tony’s charity gala, when the photographers went wild over the Avengers. One of the only times Nat ever let herself be seen, because she knew the good press would do wonders of Tony and Pepper’s charity.

“My dad sends his apologies and love – he’s an artist.” Ivy explains, watching her carefully. “I know it’s too late to say anything, but he’s really sorry. About his views, and his anger the past few years... I know I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone I knew you, but I promise I only told him this after mom came back.”

Isabella grasps the frame gingerly, admiring the brushwork. “Tell him I love it.”

“I will.” Ivy says, smiling. “And you know I’m just a phone call away.”

“Yeah.” Isabella nods, returning the smile. It’s the least she can do to mask the pain that’s growing inside of her.

* * *

Steve tries. He tries so hard, Isabella feels guilty. He suffers more than her sometimes, and when sleep doesn’t come for her, it’s probably worse for him. It’s like a rush of déjà vu all over again when she finds herself waking up in his apartment with a blanket around her back in a bed where she doesn’t remember falling asleep on. Except this time, it’s different. Everything is different and the same, her head hurts from thinking too much.

The problem with staying with so many people in a house was that nightmares got the better of them. Eventually, Wanda decides to move out, and so do Bucky and Sam to another apartment where they become co-owners. Pepper helps so much in relocating them, Isabella feels bad. Probably also because she can’t function on her own, let alone bring herself to visit Pepper and little Morgan. 

Now, she lives with Steve in his Brooklyn apartment. He says it’s comfortable there, but she knows better. It’s the place Natasha helped him get all those years ago, the same one he’s had memories in. He can’t get rid of it, not even if he tried.

Everyone hurts more than what the public reports. No matter how many red roses or iron man drawings they receive at the burnt ground where the Avengers compound once stood, nothing can bring them back. The rest of the universe can have their happily ever after while the team struggles to find their footing again.

It’s noon when Isabella finally picks herself out of her bed, aware of the sun streaking in. The house is empty; Steve’s probably at another therapy group meeting. He talks to those who lost their loved ones over the five years. People who returned from the dust to houses without their families, or spouses who died too soon in something else. Sometimes Isabella thinks he’s trying hard to move on himself, even if all they think about every day is Natasha.

“It’s about damn time.”

Isabella turns to the sound of the intruder, her instincts kicking in as she reaches up to the knife tucked safely behind the counter Steve kept his tea bags in. The only thing that stops her from flicking the knife at the stranger is that she recognises him, right down to his signature eye patch.

“Nick Fury.” She speaks, her voice dry and scratchy from sleep. Clearing her throat, she frowns. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I’ve been here before.” Fury folds his arms, clearly unimpressed. “You’ve missed my calls.”

“Steve’s not interested.” Izzy replies, her tone hard. Steve isn’t going to go back, no matter what. He says he wasn’t, but Isabella knows him. He’ll do anything that’s right, even if he gave Sam the mantle of Captain America. 

“I’m not calling him.” Fury matches her tone. “Rogers made it quite clear that he’s done when he gave Wilson the shield.” Then, perhaps she’s imagining it, Fury’s face softens. “I can’t say I’m surprised about him and Romanoff. They were always up to something... But I am sorry for your loss.”

Immediately, she reaches up to her neck, twisting the chain with the ring Steve’s entrusted her with. She’s not quick like Natasha; she never will be and her face falls completely, the tears springing to her eyes as easily as they had weeks ago. Still, she composes herself, unable to meet his eyes. “Then why are you here?”

“Because I want to recruit you.”

Isabella stares at Fury for a couple of shocked seconds, before launching into a burst of laughter. The thought of it was so absurd, even if Fury’s clearly not in the mood to joke. “Why you want to do that?”

“Why the hell not?” Fury questions back, unamused. “You’re tough, and I need someone who knows the Avengers well enough on the team. If someone else comes for us, we’ll be prepared, not like the last time.” Fury focuses his one eye on her, and she tries not to flinch. The Avengers are gone. She knows that much at least. There will never be a team like them again, and she doesn’t have the skill or privilege to join Nick Fury, even if Steve allowed. 

“You’re trained. Enough to think fast. Even then I’m not asking you to be on the front lines.” Fury presses, nodding to the knife in her hands. “And I think you’ll want this job. Something to keep you occupied.”

He’s right about that. She’s not doing herself any favours by delaying her entrance into college, and she can’t mope forever. She needs a good distraction, and whatever Fury was planning might keep her busy. But Steve doesn’t deserve this feeling of being left alone, not when he’s lost Natasha and given up his shield. She knows him, and he’ll worry too much.

“I have one condition.”

“Name it.”

“Don’t tell Steve. Don’t ask him to join you, or whatever team you’re building.” Isabella finally looks him in his one eye. “If he joins, it’s up to him. But don’t let him know I’m doing this.”

“You underestimate Rogers.” Fury warns. “Keeping secrets from him is not something he will appreciate.”

Isabella thinks about Natasha, of all her secrets they never uncovered before she died. The Black Widow’s web buried with her. Something tells her she’s not just doing this for her own distraction. She has something else she wants to do, and answers only Nick Fury might have. 

“If you were here in the last five years, you’d know that he’s lost too much to come back into this business.” She retaliates, daring him to question back. He doesn’t, grimly nodding his head. She’s tough, and there was something in her that he wanted. He’d need to have her in his team.

“So are you in, Princess?” 

She doesn’t even pause to think.

“When do I start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! I've written a little for a sequel, because I really have more ideas on how this can end, but... I'll take some time to get there. So maybe I'll see everyone soon, if you're up for a part two :) I hope you enjoyed this as much as I've enjoyed creating this character and having a different side to Endgame!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This originally started out as a random draft of 'what if' there was someone else who helped to tie up the pieces within the five years? I wanted something AU to talk about how people moved on from the snap, and to tie up any plot holes that the movie so clearly did not address. Then it evolved into a story with an original character, and how they Avengers dealt with the fall out. I hope you warm up to Isabella as much as I enjoyed creating her, and stick around! :)


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